My Curse
by Mercy2908
Summary: A young man appears at the station and tells the riders the story of his life. This is an AU story about the riders.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

The shadowed outline of a rider contrasted against the orange tones of the afternoon sky. He gradually approached the property, and windmill greeted him as he saw several buildings in the place appear before his eyes. He slowed down his mount to a canter, and his hand stroked his mare's soft neck as they came to a standstill. They must have been spotted, and soon a door opened, and a middle-aged man stepped out, followed by a group of five youngsters.

Kid dismounted, and held the horse's reins while expectantly waiting for the group of men. He recognized the marshal from when his parents had died, but he did not know anybody else. It was the marshal who first addressed him. "Anythin' we can do for you?"

"I heard in town you're hiring, and I need a job."

Teaspoon squinted thoughtfully, trying to remember where he had seen this young man's face before. "What's your name, son?"

"People just call me Kid," he replied breezily.

Teaspoon nodded, instantly remembering the ugly circumstances under which he had made the boy's acquaintance. "So you want the job?" the marshal asked.

"I'm good around horses, and hard-working," Kid stated proudly.

"You realize you'll be facin' danger and riskin' your neck every day?" Teaspoon insisted.

"Yes, sir."

Teaspoon threw a look at his other riders, and cracking a smile, he said, "Boys, seems we got us a new addition to this Pony Express station."

Kid smiled, and Teaspoon made the introductions. Kid thought that they were a very peculiar group, so different, but he instantly felt at ease around them, even with the one called Hickok, who kept looking at him warily. After greeting and exchanging a few pleasantries with his new fellow riders, Kid followed them into the bunkhouse. There he met Rachel Dunne, the woman who cooked and looked after the men at the station. She greeted him with a bright smile, and Kid tilted his head to her courteously like his dear mother had taught him to treat women.

Rachel had finished cooking dinner, and asked Kid to join them. The men sat around the dinner table while Rachel served the beautiful-smelling meat. Teaspoon had been telling Kid about his duties as a rider, but when the plate was before him, he clammed up and started eating in silence.

"This is real nice, Mrs. Dunne," Kid complimented the woman once he had tasted the meat on his plate.

"Thank you, Kid, but please call me Rachel. "

Kid nodded, and kept eating in silence. Everybody was curious to know something about the newcomer, and Cody, who was not one to beat around the bush, expressed what everyone around the table was thinking. "So, Kid, tell us a bit about yourself."

Kid looked at him. "What do you want to know?"

"Where are you from?" Jimmy asked.

"Virginia, but I've been around these parts for a few months now," he explained.

"Don't you have a family?" Noah added.

Kid hesitated, and then he said, "My parents are dead." He paused briefly, and then added, "I have a cottage heading south. It's nothing much, just a small field, stables with a cow, a couple of horses, and some hens. Some day I might make something out of the place, but right now it's just useless land. With the hail storm last week, my crops went to ruin, so now I need the job."

"I gather you won't be stationed here all the time," Teaspoon said.

"That's my home," Kid replied with a strange tone in his voice.

"And do you live there on your own then?" Rachel asked this time.

Kid hesitated again, but there was no reason he had to lie about this. He shook his head, and said, "I… just my wife and me," he said, his eyes lowered to his plate.

His revelation surprised everybody. "You're married?" a voice Kid could not identify asked.

Kid lifted his eyes back to the group, and in a flat voice, he replied, "Yes, I am."

"And what does your wife say about you voluntarily facin' danger in this job?" Buck asked.

Kid paused, and kept thoughtful for a while. "Things with her are … peculiar," Kid muttered.

"How peculiar?" Cody insisted.

"To explain that, I would have to tell you what's been going on in my life in the last four months," Kid said, smiling wryly.

"So what are you waiting for?" Cody added again.

Kid shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was very particular about his private life, but right now he was really considering telling this group of strangers everything that had happened to him. Since his mother had died, he had nobody to talk to, and he really needed to disclose what had been bubbling in his insides lately. So without thinking about it twice, he said, "Well, let me start from the very beginning…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

"It's so unfair, so unfair," I kept repeating over and over again while pacing up and down. It was something I had been doing for almost twenty minutes, and I swear I could see the marks my relentless pacing had left on the ground. I was so angry and upset that I couldn't keep still for a single minute. My life was about to take a turn, and there was nothing I could do, which made me feel totally powerless and livid.

"We knew this day would come," a soft whisper interrupted my rant.

I stopped, and turned to the voice. She was right, but that didn't make me feel better. The image before me, though, managed to soothe me, and even though indignation bubbled inside me, I calmed down. I couldn't help but stare at her. She was so divinely beautiful, and sublime. Her blonde hair fell in ringlets on her shoulders, framing the pale skin of her pretty face lovingly. Her subtle smile made my heart race, and I felt a sudden urge to kiss her full lips, but things were different now. It wouldn't be right to kiss her, so I just kept looking at her, sitting against a robust tree in that clearing of the forest, our favorite spot. Suddenly, I dropped to my knees, and took her hands in mine. "I love you, Doritha," I proclaimed loudly despite everything, "and all I want is to be with you all my life. I want to marry you."

She smiled sweetly, blushing at the same time. "You know, my father would never let you however much we want it. He likes you, but…"

"My family doesn't have a cent," I finished for her.

Doritha nodded somberly. "Lately he's being too insisting, and it's difficult to resist, and find excuses. He keeps urging me to choose one of my suitors; he even reminds me of your new commitments. Papa really wants me married and with children, but… but you know, I only like you." I smiled sadly, and leaned over to give her a light, almost chaste, kiss on the lips. Doritha sighed when we pulled away. "When you leave," she continued, her voice trembling as she spoke, "I'll have to do it. I can't put it off any longer."

I shifted, and sat next to her, laying my back against the tree. "Life is so unfair, Doritha," I repeated. "We love each other, and can't be together. I know I could take good care of you, I can make you happy… you make me happy. Yet, we're pushed along a road that will make us miserable for the rest of our lives."

"I know, honey," Doritha tried, hooking her arm in mine. "I think that wishing for what we can't have will make everything harder. It's time we started accepting our destinies." She paused, and as an afterthought, she added, "You might even like her for all you know."

I gave her a skeptical look out of the corner of my eye. "Don't make me laugh," I muttered bitterly. "She's a spoiled daddy's girl. I told you, her father is into big money… rolling in money. I know those kinds of people, and I don't like them."

Doritha let out a peal of laughter. "I'm also a daddy's girl, Kid!" she exclaimed amused.

"No, you're different… totally different," I contradicted.

"And you don't know her," Doritha pointed out, and it was true in a way, but, as I'm too pig-headed, I couldn't let her win with her sensible arguments.

"I do," I contradicted her once again. "I met her years ago. We stayed at their place for a few days, and she was unbearable, very bossy, and she talked to me as if I was a servant."

"Kid, you were only six! People change."

I shook my head in frustration. My huge headache was my soon-to-be marriage to a stranger, somebody who, like Doritha had said, I didn't know. Our parents, or rather our fathers, had arranged the wedding that was supposed to take place as soon as we got to Nebraska. You need to know that my father wasn't the best father in the world. Actually, he wasn't even average. As long as I can remember he was the kind of person who totally neglected his family, and didn't care a bit about us. He drank like a fish, spending every day and the little money we had at the local saloon, and made our life a living hell.

Things changed when I grew old and strong enough to stand up to him. From then on he didn't dare to lay a finger on me or my mother, and he didn't even get drunk as often, just because I made sure he stayed away from our scarce money. Even so, things weren't easy at all. Money was in short supply, and my father did little to make the small plot he had inherited from my mother's folks bloom. We managed to survive just because of the money I got from working here and there. And then out of the blue one day my father dropped a bomb, which would change my whole life. Apparently, he had been playing poker in the saloon, and had staked our property, the only thing we owned. Needless to say, he lost everything. We became homeless overnight, had no other relatives, and we didn't have enough to get by, let alone to buy back our home from my father's gambling friend. What could we do now? My mother was not a healthy woman, she suffered from different ailments, and all this would have killed her for sure.

I tried any possible way to mend what my father had done. I even reported the facts to the sheriff, but he said the transaction was totally legal, and we had to leave the property. We were desperate, knowing that we would soon find ourselves without a roof over our heads. The fella who got our property had no interest in taking it over, but he wanted to put it up for sale. We had no money to re-buy our own house, so as soon as somebody bought the place, we would be evicted.

One day my father came all proud and smiling. He happily announced he had sorted out the mess we were in. My ma and I were both curious and skeptical. My father had never done anything good for us, and we were right when he told us. With a crooked smile on his lips, he said he had contacted an old friend of his, and this man had agreed to give my father the money that would let us keep the house. As I listened to my father, I knew this wasn't the end of the story, and soon he let the cat out of the bag. In exchange for such a huge favor I had to marry this man's daughter. At first, I was so astonished that I couldn't talk. It sounded like those stories of kings and queens from the past, totally ridiculous. An arranged marriage? Me and a stranger? No courtship or proper relationship. How could I marry somebody who I didn't know a thing about? It was just crazy. Of course I protested energetically. I couldn't do it, and I wouldn't do it. Yet, despite my protests, I gradually came to realize there was nothing I could do. I had the key to save our family home, and prevent my mother from becoming a homeless outcast. What else could I do?

"Kid, there's something I don't understand," Doritha said, snapping me out of my bitter memories. I looked at her expectantly, and she added, "I know the reason why you are forced into this marriage. Your family is in dire need, and it's great you want to sacrifice yourself for them. But what about her? Do you think there's something wrong with her?"

"Something wrong? I don't understand," I echoed in wonder.

"Yes, I mean, why does her father want to marry her off to you? If they have as much money as you say, there must be plenty of candidates eager to get hold of that woman and her tempting, you know, qualities. I wonder if she's so horrid that not even the allure of money would manage to enchant anybody," Doritha said, snickering unkindly.

I simply shrugged my shoulders. I had never given much of a thought to the woman I was supposed to marry. Actually, even if she were an incarnated angel, I wouldn't care. I just knew that I was walking into a prison, a life sentence, away from the woman I loved. "Her father and mine were in the army together years ago, and apparently, they saved each other's necks more than once, so in a strange way, when they were young, they swore that if they had children, they'd make them get married."

"That's odd," Doritha pointed out.

"Very, but it's hardly surprising. You know my father, so what should we expect from his friends?" I said bitterly.

We relapsed into silence, and after a while, Doritha lifted her eyes to the sky, and said, "The sun's setting… I think we should get going."

I looked at her, feeling broken inside. "So this is the end."

"I'm afraid so," Doritha muttered, rising to her feet gracefully. She stretched her hand to help me get up, but I kept my arms around my flexed legs, and I didn't try to move. "Kid, come on! It's late."

I still didn't move. "I don't want to think this is our last time together. I can't say goodbye to you, I can't… I can't," I kept repeating in an emotional voice.

"Then don't," Doritha said, crouching before me, and resting her hands over mine. "Let's pretend this is not happening, and we'll be seeing each other tomorrow. This isn't the end, can't be the end. Let's just act like we always do. Walk me home, hold my hand while we stroll along, talk to me about everything and nothing at the same time, laugh your laugh, and smile your smile for me. And just before we reach my place, kiss me as if there was no tomorrow, like you always do… like you always do." As Doritha kept talking, the tears poured from her eyes, and she uttered the last words in a sob, holding onto my knees with her hands, and burying her head in the material of my pants. I felt so sorry for both of us, and more powerful pain hit me, coursing over all my body and soul, as I hugged my angel, the love of my life, for what seemed to be the last time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

I felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest when Doritha and I had to part ways that day. It was beyond painful, as hard as the day I woke up to find my only brother gone, but that's another story.

Doritha had been a part of my life since we were very young. I met her on my first day at school. I remember seeing her for the first time, and feeling totally taken by her beauty. She was the prettiest, loveliest girl in the school. I was just a brat then, but I knew I wanted to get to know her. I imagine I was too young to consider girls, but Doritha had something that drew my attention from the very first time I saw her. To my utter delight and surprise, she approached me during recess. She told me she knew me, and dropped that her father was Mr. Simmons. I then realized who she was. My mother had worked for the Simmons a couple of years before that; she used to be the cook there, and once or twice I had been in her very big house. I don't remember seeing Doritha before, but I was pleased by the fact that she actually knew me.

From that day on, Doritha and I became inseparable. We were best friends, which sparked the envy of some other boys. Ours was a wholesome friendship. Even though it isn't common for a boy and girl to share games and confidences, I never had a problem with it. Doritha was overconfident, and resolute, leading the way in our own imaginative worlds, making it easy for me to play with her girlie toys without feeling like a fool. Sometimes, Garth, one of the local boys, joined us. He was jealous of the relationship between me and Doritha, and whenever he was around, he was a nuisance. Eventually, we managed to build up a good friendship, all three of us learned to respect each other.

As we grew up, my feelings for Doritha changed. I wanted more than her friendship, and I soon learned that she felt the same. We first kissed when we were fifteen. From then on I courted her. We confessed our growing feelings, swore eternal love, and dreamed of a future together. Yet, that wasn't going to happen. Her father's finances were going downhill, and he hoped he would bounce back through his daughter's marriage. I didn't have a single option to win the woman I loved, and that meant the beginning of the end for us.

When I reached home, my mother was in the bedroom, packing some of her clothes in a carpet bag. She smiled at me in greeting, and I asked, "Where's pa?"

Her smile froze, and looking away, she muttered, "He had something to do in town."

"Yeah, I know what things he does in town," I remarked sarcastically. My mother didn't say a word because she knew I was right. We relapsed into silence. She kept packing, and after a while I asked, "Are you sure you feel up to going on this journey? It's a long way to Nebraska."

"I feel fine, Kid," she answered, stopping the task at hand, and folding her arms. Ma had been battling with her health for years. She often had problems breathing, and there were times she felt so weak she had to stay in bed. "How can you think I might stay behind while you get married thousands of miles away?" Her words reminded me again of my dreaded destiny. I lowered my eyes sadly, and she came closer to me. "I'm sorry, honey. You shouldn't have to do this," she muttered, brushing her hand on my tense shoulders.

"Ma, we already went through this too many times," I exclaimed in annoyance. "This is something I have to do."

"How did things go with Doritha?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Not very good. It's hard to believe I might not see her again."

"Honey, we never know what life has in store for us. Maybe one day Doritha and you can have your chance. We never know. Or maybe you'll realize she's not the one."

I shook my head energetically. "I'll never forget Doritha. She's the one I love, and will always love."

"Kid, you're too young to know what love is."

"But I'm not too young to marry a stranger?" I asked sarcastically, and seeing my mother's hurt expression, I hurried to apologize. "Sorry for my outburst, Ma. This ain't your fault."

"I understand how you feel, Kid. I can't blame you, and I wish I could spare you from all this."

I smiled sadly. "Maybe things won't be so bad after all," I managed even though I didn't believe it for one second.

"That's the spirit, honey!" my mother exclaimed. "You always dreamed of going to the west, so now's your chance. Think of the positive side of all this. You're going to live adventures in the far west like all those characters from the books you are always reading."

"Yes, maybe," I admitted reluctantly. The perspectives were not very alluring. Like Ma had said, I had always wanted to move west, but in a different way. I always imagined myself marrying Doritha, and going to live here. I often fantasized about it, and now I was going to do it, but without her, so the idea of adventure didn't appeal to me so much anymore. I was feeling down, and my whole soul rebelled against this destiny. Suddenly, I felt like crying like a baby, but I didn't. I just stood there, looking at my mother, smiling politely, and doing anything to avoid pushing the weight of guilt on her already heavy-loaded shoulders.

* * *

The following day my parents and I took a train, which would take us out of our homeland for the first time in years. Paradoxically, the only time I had been out of Virginia was when I had met the girl I was engaged to marry. Her family was in North Carolina for a reason I never learned, and her father invited my family to stay with them for a few days. I don't remember a lot about that time. I was just six, but I recall the room I was put in was even bigger than our humble house, and that girl was totally obnoxious, unbearable. So my judgment was clearly biased by that memory. The idea of joining my life to that nasty girl completely appalled me.

I tried to put my fears and worries at the back of my mind for the time being. Despite the reasons, I found myself enjoying this opportunity to enjoy being with my family. None of us had ever been on a train, and it was clear that my parents were enjoying the experience. My mother was glowing, looking better than she had in years, and even my father was acting very differently. He fussed over my mother, checking that she was fine and enjoying the journey. Actually, he was acting like the husband he should have been all these years. I remember all those times that after suffering my father's moods, my mother came to me, hugged me, and as if talking to herself, among tears she told me about the fine man my pa was when they had first met. Maybe we were just seeing flashes of that man, and despite everything I was glad for my mother.

We had to change trains several times as we traveled day after day. When we got to St. Louis, we continued the trip on the stagecoach. Even though the road was bumpy, and we weren't as comfortable as on the train, I found myself enjoying the landscape, and the places I've read so much about it. My mother was concerned, remembering all those stories in the newspapers about coaches being assaulted by bandits, and Indians. However, the journey was smooth, and without any incidents. We reached Fort Kearny, and there my father sent a letter to his friend, letting him know we were already in the area. We were supposed to meet him and his daughter in Seneca, and realizing how close I was to my unwanted destiny I started to get moody and worried. We spent five days in Fort Kearney since the stagecoach wouldn't leave till then. Ma looked weak, and tired, another reason for my concern. Thankfully, those days in the city helped her to recover her strength and energy.

When we resumed our journey, I felt like a man walking to the gallows. I couldn't stop thinking about Doritha. It was weeks since we had last seen each other, and there was not a single day I didn't think of her. I wondered if she was still resisting her father's persuasive powers, or maybe she was also in the same predicament as I was. The journey to Seneca ended too soon for my taste, and I stepped out of the coach with trembling legs and great dread.

While my parents went ahead to check in at the hotel, I stayed behind, picking up our luggage from the stagecoach. When I did and made my way into the building, I saw my parents talking to a tall, slender guy, in a black, elegant suit. I came closer and heard what the man was telling them. "He is awfully sorry for this delay, but it's been just an unexpected occurrence. Please accept his apologies, and of course all your expenses in these weeks will be covered." The stilted man nodded at my parents, and turned to leave.

"Seems your wedding will have to be put off for a while, son," my father said when I asked him what was going on. "My friend took a fall, and sprained his ankle. Apparently, he can't walk, and the doctor told him to rest for a couple of weeks. So no wedding till he gets better."

I breathed out. Even though two weeks weren't much, I felt that life was giving me a truce. Maybe something else might happen, and I wouldn't have to go through this fake marriage at all. This was all wrong, and moral justice exists, doesn't it? So call me naïve, or a fool, but deep down I really thought some kind of miracle would happen eventually. What else could I do but hope against hope?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

While my parents stayed at their hotel room, I decided to explore Seneca. After so much traveling, I was in the mood to enjoy a leisurely walk, and see with my own eyes what I've been so fascinated about for years. The west had had a pull on me since I read my first dime novel about gunslingers, Indians, and rowdy cowboys. I had always wanted to experience, or, at least, witness all those adventures that the books and newspapers were full of. I wasn't so naïve as to blindly believe that all that literature was totally true, but I imagined that the stories were possibly an exaggerated account of the reality.

It was awkward. I was walking on the land I had dreamed of, but I wasn't very excited. The matter with my forced wedding had smudged all my perspectives, and I felt worse than ever, something I tried to hide from my mother. I didn't want her to worry more than she already did. However, the temporary cancellation of my sentence gave me some respite, and a new hope. Maybe I could find a way to get out of the commitment my father had engaged me in. As I walked around the city, and experienced new feelings, I started smiling as ideas bombarded me. Here I was in another town, far away from my home, and in truth, I didn't miss the run-down cottage I've lived in my whole life. All I missed was Doritha, and she was out of my grasp. Whatever happened to me and my family, she would never have been mine. She would join her life to somebody else soon, and even though the knowledge hurt like hell, this was something I had learned to accept.

Thinking that I was ready to sacrifice my whole life for just a piece of land, and four walls sounded ridiculous and even hilarious to me. I didn't want to get married to this daddy's girl, and I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I had made up my mind, I would tell my father, and I wouldn't budge. We could start from scratch here. I could find a job, and so could my father. That would be enough to get by, and rent a place for us three to live in. As I looked around me, I realized that I liked what I was seeing. Seneca seemed a welcoming city, different from the place I came from, but I'm sure we could be happy out here. It would be a nice change. I love open spaces, and the sensation of freedom the town transmitted made me want to do anything to achieve my intentions.

A smile spread on my face as I continued strolling around, and considering my possibilities. Maybe I could get a job at a ranch. I love animals, especially horses. In Manassas I used to work some weekends for Mr. Hale, a farmer who had a few breeding horses. He taught me to ride, and how to treat the animals, and I loved every second of it I was pretty sure I could do a good job here as well.

Then, as I sauntered before a big wooden building, I casually threw a glimpse inside. I stopped as my complete attention was caught by the vision before my eyes. I took a few steps closer, and stood at the threshold as I continued staring at the beautiful image that had hooked me so overwhelmingly. Her head turned to me, and I smiled. Looking around, I realized that there was nobody, and I dared to trespass. I walked up to her, and my hand reached to caress her neck. She neighed, and then I heard some steps behind me. "Get away from there."

I turned my eyes to the man. He was tall, with rough features. A moustache and stubble surrounded his mouth, and a torn hat covered his head. He was holding a rake, and I guessed that he was the owner of the place. "I was just looking, sir."

"Look someplace else," the man replied gruffly.

I didn't move, though. She was a beautiful pinto mare, and I felt I wanted the animal. Growing up in a poor family, I had learned from an early age that having food in my stomach and a roof over my head was everything I could have. Actually, I was happy without any possessions, but at that moment I really wished I could have that beautiful animal. "How much?" I asked even though I knew I didn't have a cent in my pockets.

"That ain't just any horse. I never had me a better. She's $25 and cheap at that," he replied.

I just nodded sadly, gave the mare a little pat on her soft neck, and turned to leave. For some reason I was back in a sullen mood, and decided to return to the hotel. I'd better find another time to explore the city, and besides, I was eager to tell my parents of the decision I have made.

I climbed the carpeted staircase in the hotel, and headed for my parents' room. I knocked on the door, and heard my mother voicing a 'come-in'. When I stepped inside, I found my mother alone, sitting on a rocking chair next to the double bed. "Where's Pa?" I asked suspiciously.

"Don't worry, Kid," my mother replied, like usual guessing my thoughts with her incredible insight. "I sent him to get me some tonic from the doctor. That's all."

My forehead creased in concern. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes, worrywart. I ran out of it a few days ago, and one never knows when I'll need it. It's very hot in this place, and you know heat doesn't agree with me."

I nodded at my mother's explanation, and came to sit on the bed opposite her. "Ma, can we talk?" I asked straightaway. I thought I could tell my mother about my intentions. That way it would be easier to convince my father if both of us tried at the same time.

"What is it, honey? Is it about… you know… the wedding?"

I nodded again. I didn't speak straightaway, and after tidying my scrambled thoughts, I started, "Ma, don't you think this is a great place to live?"

She smiled. "I'm glad you're already warming up to the idea of moving here."

"What I mean is that it's great for us… for the three of us. We could all live here happily, and we can forget about Virginia. You don't need to go back there, and we could forget about the house. You know it's nothing much, and …"

"You wouldn't have to marry that girl," my mother finished the sentence for me. I gave her an unenthusiastic nod. "I understand your reluctance, Kid."

"Ma, we could start from scratch here. I know we can do it. Please, say yes," I almost begged, taking her hand in mine.

"That house has been in my family for generations," she added.

"So what? We can start our own history right here. Please, Ma, I've never asked you or Pa for anything before. Please humor me in this."

"I… I'm sorry you feel this way," my mother said, and I noticed her eyes were filling with tears, and suddenly, she burst out crying and sobbing.

"Ma!" I exclaimed, and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her close. "Please, Ma, don't cry, don't cry."

My mother was muttering against my chest but I couldn't make out her words. After a while, I noticed her sobs subside, and I gently pulled her off. She looked at me with her red-rimmed eyes, and in a husky voice she said, "This is my fault, Kid, but we can't lose that house. Nobody can't have that house. Nobody."

I was surprised by her vehemence, and couldn't help but ask, "Why?"

She had a deep intake of breath, and then in a whispering voice she said, "Because nobody can ever find out what's buried there."

* * *

At this point of the story, Kid kept quiet, and looked around the table. All the riders, Rachel, and Teaspoon had been listening to him with rapt attention, but now the Southerner hesitated. He had been so wrapped up in his story that the words had almost spilt out of his mouth, revealing more than he should.

"So what else did your mother tell you?" Cody urged him.

Kid still did not say a word. Revealing what his mother had said felt like a betrayal. It was her secret. What right did he have to uncover what had been hidden for years?

"Son, you needn't tell us what you don't want to," Teaspoon added between a rumble of whines.

Kid kept thoughtful. Maybe he should tell them the whole story. His mother was dead, and his enigmatic words just now might make their imaginations run wild, believing what was not true. That shouldn't be fair to his mother or her memory either, so he should just go all the way. He breathed in, and then continued with his account.

* * *

You can well imagine that I was totally stunned by my mother's words. It was clear from her tears and attitude that whatever was buried in our home wasn't a pirate's treasure. In just a few seconds a rush of ideas dashed into my mind. I suspected that my mother was just protecting my father like usual, and I feared he was more than a pathetic drunkard. In that brief lapse of time I wondered who my father had murdered, and buried in our homestead. Then a shiver coursed all over my body as an image got stuck in my mind. Could it be that my father had killed my brother?

Jed had left three years ago, and we hadn't heard a word from him since then. He never said goodbye. One morning I got up, and he was gone. He and pa had never got on well, and I always thought that was the reason why he left. But what if in fact he had never gone anywhere? I couldn't believe that. It was too horrifying, and my mother could never hide something so big. I had to know, so I asked, "What are you saying, Ma?"

My mother wiped her tears, and let out a trembling breath. "I've never told anyone, but now you deserve an explanation. I just hope you can forgive us, Kid." I stared at her in fearful apprehension. I wanted to know, but at the same time I wished I hadn't asked. It was too late to ignore my curiosity, and my fears, and my mother started, "About ten years ago I started having problems with your father. He seemed to have lost interest in me and our marriage. I know some men get bored with domestic matters, and that's what was happening to him. At the time he wasn't as bad as he was later, you know. He simply wasn't around a lot, and even when he was, he wasn't for real. I suspected he had taken a lover, but I wasn't sure." Ma paused to look at me. I could tell she was embarrassed, and so was I. It was awkward to hear all these details about my parents' marriage, but I knew she wouldn't stop. She needed to tell me.

"Around that time Mrs. Connor and her husband came to live on their farm." I nodded. Mrs. Connor was our neighbor, but I didn't remember her husband. I was very young when she lost him, but I knew the rumors. People said that he had run away with another woman. "I really got on well with them. They were a nice couple, new in town, and welcomed the friendship I offered. And on my part I was quite lonely, and I really needed some adult company." She stopped for a second, and once again she breathed in. "I soon realized that Ed… Mr. Connor looked at me in a peculiar way… like a man looks at his woman, and… and… and… oh Kid, I'm so ashamed, but I liked that, and I subtly let him know."

My mother was getting upset, but I didn't know what to say. I was feeling very uncomfortable, and I wished I could tell her to stop, but I didn't. "Then Ed started calling on me by himself. We just talked at the beginning, and it felt so good to have the attention of a man again. He was very nice, and I enjoyed our talks. But then, things progressed, and… and… and… we … we … we kissed," Ma uttered the last part of her words in a whisper. "I swear to God we didn't do anything else. We just talked, and shared some kisses. Call me a fool, but I never felt that was cheating. For me it was just wholesome affection between two friends. I would never have gone beyond that, but I guess nobody else would feel that way. Neither would Ed. And one day he wanted more."

"And Pa killed him…" I said, speaking for the first time.

My mother looked at me with a contorted expression, and carried on her account. Ma shook her head to my statement, and said, "I tried to stop Ed. He had turned into a beast… he threw me onto the floor, and hit me over and over again. I struggled but I couldn't fight him. I don't know how, but my hand got hold of a knife… and… and I stabbed him again and again until I had no strength left of me. I killed him, Kid… I killed him."

"Ma…" I let out in shock.

"When your father got home, I was in a desperate state. Ed's bloody copse was in the middle of our living room, and I managed to explain everything to your pa. To my surprise, he didn't even flinch. With a surprising calmness, he took matters in his hands. He said we had to bury him, and shouldn't breathe a word to anyone. I really wanted to go to the sheriff… it had been in self-defense, but your father told me nobody would believe it. That man had numerous knife wounds all over his body. I was so scared… so scared. I didn't want to go to jail, I couldn't go to jail, or face a death sentence. I had you and Jed to consider, and I was so shaken I couldn't think clearly. And your father and I did it… we buried him in the corn field, and that was the end of Ed Connor. Then rumors about his flit started, and I didn't have to worry about my secret being found out… that is, until now. Your father didn't grow anything in that field ever again."

"That's when he started drinking?" I asked. My mother nodded. "And that's why you never fought him?"

Ma nodded again. "I felt I deserved his beatings and more." We both relapsed into silence, and my mother added, "Kid, I love you more than anything, and it's not fair you have to suffer for my sins and mistakes. I won't force you to marry that girl if you don't want to. It's time I faced my destiny."

I couldn't allow my mother to go through that ordeal. She had too hard a life, and she had a weak health. Even though her doings weren't right, I couldn't let her live with the fear of being found out at any moment. I had the key in my power, and there was only one thing I could do. I squeezed her hands between mine, and whispered, "I'll marry that girl…"

"Kid…"

"No discussion about this, Ma. I'll marry her. You're more important to me than anything in the world… anything." Ma smiled, and hugged me, and while in her embrace I fell back into the familiar pit of despair, and the light had gone out on me once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

The following day I noticed that after our conversation my mother started acting quite strange. She blushed whenever she looked at me, and I guessed I wasn't indifferent to what I had learned either. My mother wasn't the perfect, untouchable person I always thought she was. And actually, that was good, because it made me realize she was flesh and blood like everybody else. In a way, this matter had made me close to her in a deeper sphere even though the awkwardness we were feeling kept us apart. I couldn't blame her for her indiscretion with Mr. Connor, or the subsequent occurrences that ended up with the man's death. I had no right to judge her from my safe position. I knew my ma, and I was sure that she had already paid in silence for what she had done.

After Ma's confession, I also started seeing my father in a different light. What I had learned didn't change the suffering he had inflicted on us for years, but I could understand him to a certain extent. Pa never found out what my mother told me, which saved me from further awkwardness. In fact, with my ma's embarrassed attitude, I got closer to my father in those days we stayed in Seneca. My mother often chose to stay in her hotel room, so my pa and I got to spend a lot of time together, and for the first time in years we really talked. Of course we avoided the hot topic of my impending marriage. My father knew I didn't want to get married, and bringing up the subject wouldn't have been very smart of him. Anyway, we got to talk about everything else, and I learned a great deal about him in those days, about his childhood in a little town in South Carolina, about his family in those days, and the way he and Ma had met, and fallen in love. I discovered a totally different person in my father, and it was too sad to realize I had missed all that while I grew up.

The journey clearly brought about too many surprises for me, and the rediscovery of my parents wouldn't be the last one. Something unexpected would take place. It happened ten days or so after our arrival in Seneca. It was exactly on my eighteenth birthday. When I woke up that morning, my mother had a little present for me like every year, you know, nothing much, because we didn't have money.

After breakfast that day, I went for a walk on my own. My mind soon wandered to my dreaded destiny. We haven't received any more news from my father's friend, but days flew by, and it would be soon when this fella and his daughter showed up before us. I wondered what this girl thought about our marriage. Would she feel the same way as me, or would she be a willing participant?

I brought my mind back to those days when we visited her family. Even back then, my father and hers joked about getting their children married to each other, and this girl, all small and skinny, kept bugging me with what she had heard her father say_. You'll be my husband one day, so you need to do what I say_, she kept saying in her irritating, bossy tone. It's funny because whenever I thought of the girl I was supposed to marry, I imagined her six-year-old self next to me in church, saying 'I do'.

I even once dreamed of the actual wedding. The moment the minister granted us his permission to kiss, she turned to me, her smile showing her gap-toothed mouth, as she closed the distance between us. Even though she was a young girl in that dream, she hovered over my small figure… like in that book about Gulliver and the Lilliputians. It was a disturbing image, and I woke up sweating and trembling at the same time.

Anyway, I kept thinking about what I would have to face soon. I don't know what her father's expectations were. I didn't have a job, or a place to live. When I had asked my father about our living arrangements, he had told me that we needed to wait for his friend. Maybe her father expected me to live at their place because I wouldn't think he wanted to send his daughter to Virginia and our humble home. This girl was used to a life I couldn't offer, so I thought her father would make it possible for her to continue having a comfortable existence.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't even realize where I was going. Some people's loud voices snapped me out of my daydreaming, and I looked up to see a couple of men laughing, and talking. I stopped when I thought I recognized one of them. _It can't be_, I told myself, but it was him. I needed to see if it was right, so I called one of the men. The man turned his blue eyes to me, and I asked, "Hey, Mister, your name's Jed?"

The man frowned at my question, clearly surprised at being recognized. "We met?" he said.

"I reckon we might've."

"I'm afraid I don't recall," he answered.

"You recall cursing a plough mule named Jeremiah? Used to wallow in the creek when heat came up," I said.

A smile flickered in his face, as he said my name, "Kid?"

I nodded, and in his usual flamboyant way he hugged me, as he mentioned I had finally put on some meat. My dark thoughts were gone, and all I could think was that my brother was back… we had missed him so much, and here he was in front of me. He was alive, fine, and I couldn't wait to tell my mother.

* * *

Jed guffawed loudly as he thumped his fist on the table we were sitting at. "My little brother's getting married! Never thought you would have more guts than me! Shoot me, push me from the highest mountain, but getting married… no way!"

"It ain't funny," I replied. "I ain't doing this willingly."

His grin didn't fade as he took a swig of his beer tankard. After running into my brother, he had talked me into going to the local saloon, and bought a couple of drinks. After my father's history, I had a total dislike to alcohol, so I stuck to sarsaparilla while my brother didn't seem to have so many reservations. There in the saloon I told him about the reason why I was in Seneca, and my imminent plans. Of course I kept quiet about what my mother had confessed days ago, and simply let him know about the wedding, and why I was forced to get married.

"Kid, I think you're a fool for letting him rule you. Haven't you learned anything after all these years?" Jed said in a sharper way. "He lost the house, and he should be the one to face the music. That house ain't worth the pain."

"It ain't that easy, Jed. Things are very complicated. I can't leave Ma like that," I replied vaguely.

My brother nodded, but I wasn't sure why. I don't think he understood what I meant, but I guess he didn't want to talk about my father anymore. When Jed had been with us, things were even more difficult. He used to riot against my father, angering him beyond reason, and then Jed disappeared, and it was me and my mother who had to suffer the consequences of my father's fury. That was too long ago, and my brother had the sense to go hush about the topic.

"Well," Jed started again after a brief pause, "I remember her pretty well. A very shy girl… quite cute, and sweet."

Shy? Cute? Sweet? I mentally repeated the words as my face must clearly have shown my puzzlement. "I don't think we're talking about the same girl."

"Sure we are. I remember her and her family perfectly. I was eleven or twelve at the time, while you were still a brat!" Jed exclaimed jokingly. "By the way, what's her name? I don't recall that."

I opened my mouth to talk, but I realized that I didn't know her name either. In my head she was just the girl, and Pa and Ma called her John's daughter. At my hesitation my brother burst out laughing again as he added, "My little brother doesn't even know his fiancée's name! You better learn it soon, or you won't know what to call her when you're between the sheets."

At his comment I blushed hotly. "Jed, please."

"What? Don't tell me you haven't thought about the wedding night and the other ones after that!" he continued in a teasing tone.

In truth I hadn't given that a single thought. My marriage to this girl was so artificial and fake that intimacy was out of the picture from the first moment. "Haven't you understood what I'm trying to tell you? I don't want this marriage."

"I see. Well, you can have your little wife at home and enjoy some playtime on the side."

I stared at him totally shocked. "I couldn't do that."

I could see my brother's amusement shining on his face. He was really having fun at my expense, which was nothing new. When we were children, he used to pull my leg a lot, and in a way I was glad that we were back to old times. "Why not? You said that yourself. You don't owe this girl anything, and it's natural. A man has needs, and you can't keep loyal to a person that's nothing to you."

"But I couldn't be unfaithful to Doritha."

My brother's grin widened. "Doritha, Doritha, always Doritha." He pressed his hand against my left shoulder in a supporting way. "Kid, you should start forgetting about lovely Doritha Simmons. Your loyalty is admirable, but life ain't a sweet fairy tale. Hear me out, little brother, enjoy life because before you realize, it will be over." I kept quiet, and the expression on my face must have told Jed that I was distraught by his words. "Don't look at me like that. I really wish I could do something to help you."

I didn't know what came over me, but at his offering I found myself saying, "You could take my place, and marry her."

My brother started laughing, and when he sobered, he looked into my eyes seriously, and said, "You're very clever, Kid, very clever indeed."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

I was kidding of course, and despite everything, we had a good laugh at my expense. I guess that making light of my problems made them look simpler. After a few drinks, Jed seemed more receptive, and I managed to persuade him to see my parents. He had refused my first suggestions flat out. It was understandable. My brother is a very straight person, and he had a right to feel sore with my father because I shared the same feelings. Yet, it wasn't right for him to just walk away without seeing my mother. That would hurt her deeply, and she didn't deserve any more heartache.

In the end Jed agreed to see our mother. As we walked to the hotel, I could tell that Jed was more than tipsy. His speech was slurry, and a couple of times he tripped over his own feet. I wondered if it was such a good idea to let him see my parents in that state, especially my pa. Of course there was no way back, and we soon found ourselves in front of my parent's room. My brother knocked, drumming his knuckles on the wooden surface with a silly combination of notes, and as the door opened, my father appeared before us. I held my breath, fearing the worst, as both Jed and my pa remained in silence. My father narrowed his eyes in confusion, but when recognition dawned on him, a smile spread on his face as he exclaimed, "Jed…"

The sound of my brother's name reached my mother, who was inside the room, and she spurted out of the door, unceremoniously pushing my father out of the way. She stopped for a second to stare at her long lost son in awe. Her arms moved slowly to him, hands first cupping his stubbled face, and finally she burst out crying, hugging him close. "Ma, please, don't cry," Jed said, sounding sober, I think that the impression of seeing our mother for the first time after all these years had broken him down, and the tough fella he wanted to look like had given way to his real person.

When my mother calmed down, we walked into the room. Ma held onto my brother's arm strongly as if she feared he was gonna disappear in front of her eyes. They sat down on the bed while my father took a discreet position in a corner. He and Jed did not dare to talk to each other, as if they had made a silent agreement to be civil to each other, and not to cause any awkward situations in the family. I just sat on a lonely chair, listening to the conversation between Ma and Jed. "Oh God, I thought I would never see you again! Now God can take me with Him," my mother said in an emotional voice.

"Ma, please, don't say that," Jed tried.

"And you look so handsome… so tall and slender… just like your father when he was your age. I imagine that girls will swoon over you," my mother said adoringly.

I noticed that Jed felt uncomfortable when he heard my ma compare him to father, but he didn't let out his dislike. Instead, he just said, "I don't have time for girls. I'm not like my little brother," he added, winking at me.

"Why? What are you doing with your life?" Ma wanted to know.

Jed cleared his throat, and after a pause he said, "I work for the cause… for our home."

"I'll be damned…" Pa exclaimed, speaking for the first time.

Ma and I shared a look, and curious, my mother asked, "For the cause?"

"Everybody knows there's going to be a war, and the south needs to grow strong to fight those stiff Yankees," my brother explained.

"And what do you do?" I asked this time.

"I and some guys work together… and… and we collect funds," Jed explained awkwardly.

"Like the collections we have at our church?" Ma asked innocently. She could be quite naïve. Even "I" knew what my brother's fighting for the cause meant. Back home I'd heard many tales of those brave men, who selflessly fought for the south, and I could guess that their enterprise wasn't as harmless and altruistic as people believed.

"Actually, no… but the aim is the same… it's for a good cause," Jed stated.

"I'm really proud of you, son," my father added, beaming happily.

My brother, naturally, ignored his comment, but I have to say I felt a bit irritated all of a sudden. I'd been with my parents all this time, struggling to help us survive, and I had never received a word of praise from my father, who had caused and was causing so much pain. Jed had left the problems behind when he had run away, and he was the big man now? I know it was low of me to feel this jealous, but I couldn't help myself.

"So, Jed, if you're working for our land, does that mean you're coming back with us?" my mother asked in eager anticipation.

"I don't think so, Ma," Jed replied.

"I… I don't understand."

"Ma," my brother continued, "too many men are already working for the cause there. It's here we're needed." His words were received with evident misery from my mother, and she looked down sullenly. "Please Ma, don't be like this."

"Woman, he's a man now, and needs to do his duty," Pa added.

"What matters is that we're back together now… I won't be a stranger anymore, and we need to savor the time we're going to spend together."

My mother looked up. "That means you're gonna stay with us until your brother's wedding?"

Jed hesitated for a second, very subtly, but I noticed his hesitation. Then his smile showed on his face once again, and said, "Sure. Count on me. I couldn't think of missing the family's big event for anything in the world."

* * *

That night we enjoyed dinner at one of the local restaurants. It was the very first time ever in which the four of us were together without shouts, cries, anger or violence. It was a charming night… strange actually. Jed and my father were even talking to each other; since my brother had announced he was supporting the cause, Pa was beaming with pride, and apparently, Jed relished the feeling of being the center of attention, and a hero to our parents' eyes. Ma was also overjoyed. I had never seen her look as radiant as she did that night. I could understand what she was feeling because over the years I had witnessed her unhappiness for not knowing where her son was. I was glad that pain had been eased.

When dinner was over, we walked out of the restaurant. We four felt in high spirits, and surprisingly, my father remained sober. He hadn't wanted to drink a single drop of the wine we had shared during the meal. I thought he was really changing. Once outside the restaurant, my mother yawned. "Are you tired, Ma?" Jed asked.

"I guess I am," my mother replied.

"Let's get you to bed then," my father offered.

My mother nodded. She really looked tired. "Are you boys coming then?" she asked.

Jed turned his head to me, and said, "It's a warm night. I think I'd stay up for a bit more. Will you join me, Kid?"

I didn't feel like going to bed yet, so I nodded at my brother's suggestion. "Be good, my boys, and don't get into trouble," Ma said as she gave Jed a tight hug. She was smiling from ear to ear, her eyes shining, when she looked at my brother, and almost giggled when she said, "See you tomorrow, honey."

"See you tomorrow, Ma," Jed replied, clearly pleased by our mother's attention.

She gave me a kiss, and as she started to walk away, she simply said, "Good night, Kid."

When our parents were gone, we aimlessly roamed in town. As Jed had said, it was a warm night, and the light breeze that was blowing was a nice solace after the scorching day we had endured. We didn't talk too much as we walked, and when we went by the saloon, Jed said, "Let's have a drink, Kid."

Before giving him an answer, I had a look inside the place. The music and loud voices sounded welcoming, but the image of rowdy men and women in skimpy clothes put me off. Since very young, I had felt a strong dislike to these places that my father chose to be and get drunk in. How could I set foot there?

Jed didn't give me the chance to refuse, and yanked me to place. I soon found myself inside, pushed forward into the crowd of people towards the counter. My brother ordered a shot of whisky, but I declined to drink anything. He snickered, and then after downing his drink, he asked the bartender for another. We stood in silence at the counter. There was piano music, which to my ignorant ears sounded off key; a group of girls, dressed in skimpy, short dresses, was on a small stage, dancing to the tune, or rather moving in a quite lewd way while the men cheered and hurled risqué comments. This ruckus logically made it impossible to have a conversation at all.

Jed was slowly drinking his second shot of whisky while scanning the place with his keen eyes. Suddenly, something caught his attention, and he nudged me on my side, motioning to follow. "Let's play some poker," he said as we made our way to a less boisterous corner where men were playing cards. I tried to protest. My father had lost our home in a game of cards, and I didn't want to take part in something that had caused so much havoc in our family. My brother ignored my protests, and gentlemanly asked permission to join the game. When he took a seat at the table, he looked over his shoulder at me, and said, "Just watch, Kid. You might learn how to do this properly."

Apart from myself, there were a couple of fellas, just looking at the men playing. Cards were shuffled, cut, and dealt. My brother started with a loss, but then he won a few times. As game after game succeeded, I began getting bored and tired. I wished my brother would finish playing, so we could go. But then something changed. The game became more intense… and yes, tense. The players started to take bigger risks, staking more money, and Jed followed their lead. I watched in surprise as he put down his big dollars on the table. I didn't know where he got all that money from. Man by man folded, and only Jed and a man who looked like a traveling salesman were left. I held my breath nervously. There were over two hundred dollars on the table. Jed had an impish smile, and I trusted he knew what he was doing. "Let's see what you have there," Jed finally said. His grin vanished at once. The fella had a full house against my brother's poor two pair.

The man whooped as he picked up his gains. I patted my brother's back in a sympathetic gesture. I thought this was the end, but Jed surprised me when he said, "Won't you give me the chance to get even?" As I feared, the men all accepted the challenge, and a new game started. My brother seemed too eager to get back the money he had lost, and in his zeal he had forgotten what caution meant. To my chagrin, and despite my mild protests, he started by placing two hundred dollars on the table. Some of the men folded instantly, but my brother's bet was backed, and as the game continued, the stake increased dizzily.

I didn't notice straightaway, and it was when he was closer that I saw a man approaching Jed. His face rang a bell, and after racking my brains for a while, I remembered he was the man I had seen Jed with just that morning. The man leaned over my brother and whispered something in his ear, something I couldn't hear. My brother nodded, his expression not letting away anything, and raising his two fingers, he said, "Two more."

Without a word, the man left, and the game continued. When the moment of truth came, only three players remained, including Jed. As the two other men revealed their high hands, my brother turned to me, and said, "I'm sorry, Kid."

"Jed, I told you…"

I couldn't finish because Jed cut me off by saying, "I'm sorry … I'm sorry for this, men, because it's not fun to win money so easily." And then he showed his cards, showing a straight flush, beating every single hand. I smiled, and my brother cheered happily, following the example of his previous contender and getting his money. "Bartender, drinks are on me!" he called, throwing the man a bill. Then he slowly rose to his feet, and said, "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure to play with you. I must retire now." He tipped his head politely, and moved towards the exit.

When we were outside, Jed was still smiling. "It's been a great night," he told me.

"Especially for you," I replied.

He nodded, and his grin turned into a thoughtful expression when he said, "You turning in now?"

"And you?" I asked him.

"I … I need to see to some matters," he replied awkwardly.

"Do those matters have anything to do with the man who was in the saloon?" I asked again.

"Uh yeah… the fool can't do anything without blundering. If you let me give you some advice, little brother… don't let anybody know how very clever the young men in this family are… you'll live better."

I laughed. "See you tomorrow then," I said.

"Yes… tomorrow," he replied, giving me a hug, which surprised me. And when he turned round, and started walking, I kept smiling. Like Jed had said, it had been a great night, and little did I know it was going to be the only good memory I would have in a long time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

That night I couldn't sleep much. I turned and tossed in bed. It wasn't just because of the warm weather, which made me soaked in sweat, but there was something else that dominated my mind. Images of my brother and the poker game kept popping into my head, and the way money had been traded at that table made me wonder. Yes, my brother had won a nice catch, and I had seen there was more in his pocket. That wouldn't be enough, I mused, but if my brother lent us some money, we could pay back part of the house value. I could try to reach an agreement with the man who was now the owner of our place. If I tried to work the fields, and kept working different jobs I had, I could repay my brother's loan, and the rest of the money for the house. That would take me years, but it would be better than a life-long condemnation in a loveless marriage.

Like usual, when I got up that morning, I walked up to my parents' room. When the door opened, my father appeared, and instantly I heard some familiar noises coming from inside. My mother was crying, and as a reflex act I grabbed my father by the collar as I barked, "What the hell have you done to Ma?"

My father pushed my hands off, and I forcefully entered the bedroom. My mother was lying in the bed, sobbing, her eyes staring at the ceiling. I stopped, and stood looking at her for a few seconds when my father came behind me, and stretched his hand, giving me a piece of paper. "Read it," he ordered me.

I gave him a stern look before taking the paper from him. My face fell. It was a message from my brother, and in just a few lines he said he was leaving. I then realized why my mother was so upset, and I felt ashamed for having reacted so gruffly to my father. It was a logical assumption because he had given us a hard time for years, but now it was only right I apologized. "I'm sorry, Pa."

"We found the paper on the floor this morning. He must've slipped it under the door," my father explained. "Was it too much asking him to have the decency to say goodbye to your mother?"

"I… I imagine it would have been too hard," I said in my brother's defense. I thought the way Jed had acted was not right, leaving like a thief, breaking my mother's heart, and besides, he had taken my last chance to get out of the mess my father had put us in. Yet, I didn't think it was right for my father to criticize Jed, when he had so much to be ashamed of himself.

"Why on earth are you defending him? He should have considered he has a family for once. I can't think anything that can be more important than your mother, or can you?"

His words irritated me more than I already was. Jed's way of leaving hadn't left me indifferent, and my father's recrimination added up to my soaring annoyance. "It's funny you can talk about not caring about family. You should be the last one to judge others! You… "

My father didn't let me finish as he started loudly protesting. I didn't keep quiet, and soon the room was a chaotic clamor of our voices, trying to domineer over each other. Then a loud cry boomed, shutting us up, and I saw my mother raise her body from the bed. "Will you stop it! Jed's gone, and that's it. And all I need now is just a little silence!"

I hung my head in shame as I muttered, "Forgive me, Mother." I ventured a look at my father, who sent me a sharp glare. Suddenly, his angry eyes reminded me of those times he came back home, and I met his anger. Ridiculously, I felt afraid and suffocated. There I was, a grown-up young man, and I had the impression I was nothing but a little kid. I just couldn't stay in the room any longer. I had to go, escape, relieve the sensations coursing all over me, so I made an excuse, and dashed out.

I decided to go for a walk, and air my thoughts. As I stepped out of the hotel, I noticed there was some commotion just opposite the building. I stood on the walkway, as people were gathered in front of the local bank. People were talking in angry voices, but I couldn't really tell what they were discussing. A mustached man whose bright badge pinned to his shirt told me he was the law, was trying to appease the crowd to no avail. I then noticed that behind him, the big window was smashed to pieces, and I suspected there has been a situation in the bank.

A pair of well-dressed men confirmed my suspicions, but despite having heard them, I asked anyway, "What's happened?"

"The sun hadn't come up yet when a gang of four men held up the bank," one of the men informed me.

"They got away with some loot… just the savings of almost every citizen in this town," the other man continued. "Mostly, hard-working farmers who have struggled all their lives to come up with just a little nest-egg, and now they have lost everything because of a bunch of bastards."

I shook my head. "Such a shame," was all I could say.

"That's not the worst," the first man spoke again. "One of them killed the sheriff deputy… Barry, a boy of barely twenty years old. He and the sheriff took the robbers by surprise. They had bandannas over their mouths, but Barry managed to discover one of the men's faces… he was shot right in the heart… his death was instantaneous."

"Any chance of capturing them? " I asked.

"The sheriff is leading a posse, but it won't be easy to find them. He's handed out fliers with a portrait of the fella in case somebody recognizes him. It's amazing how fast they're working, but well, Barry was like a son to Sheriff Rush," the same man explained, and stretched the paper to me.

I took it in my hands with curiosity, and when my eyes focused on the face printed, I felt a tug in my stomach. I was shocked, utterly shocked, as I recognized the man, but to my surprise I remained stoic, passive, and I don't think anybody noticed anything, but unbeknownst to everybody else, my mind was in a real turmoil.

* * *

The charcoal portrait looking at me from the paper on which it was printed was clear to me. I had recognized him at once. It was the man who had talked to my brother last night in the saloon, the same man I first saw him with. I had no reasons to believe the worst, but I had a bad feeling. Was my brother involved in the bank robbery? Was that why he had gone without saying goodbye? I didn't want to believe it, but in those seconds for every reason against it, another one dragged it down. I wanted to shush the voices in my head. The fact that my brother had said he was helping the south didn't mean he was doing anything illicit. Even though I knew the stories, I refused to believe those rumors could be true about my brother. Jed might be leading a disorganized life, but he was an upright person. I knew as much. Despite the shortages in our childhood, Ma had brought us up right… in the same way, and I was sure he couldn't do any harm.

As all these thoughts kept running in my head, I noticed a hand tapping me on the shoulder. I looked up, and found a tall man in front of me. His face rang a bell, but I just couldn't figure out where I had seen him before. As I stared at him with a questioning expression, the man said, "I have a message for you."

"What?" I croaked.

The man didn't reply, and just handed me an envelope. Somehow I knew who the message was from. I quickly opened it, and took out the small piece of paper inside. I recognized my brother's handwriting at once. Shortly after Jed had gone, he wrote a couple of times, and I'd read them so many times that I could tell the whole text by heart. The paper in my hands had just a few lines, very simple lines, but they meant the world to me. My brother had taken the trouble to leave a message for us, which just proved what I thought of Jed. He was a decent person, and cared for us, his family. I read the lines above my brother's signature: _Sorry I had to leave this way. Yesterday was a beautiful gift I didn't expect. Look after Ma, Kid. I love you. Hopefully, we'll meet again.'_

I smiled in a bittersweet way. I wished he had been there with me to tell him everything I hadn't said, to show him how much he meant to me, and how terribly I had missed him. I really wished I could retrace my steps, and go back to the previous day to have my chance. But it was too late now. His simple words had moved me, but I was up to something more. I noticed he had written something more under his name. _Did you really think I wasn't listening?_

I didn't know what he meant by that. I frowned in confusion at the same time I heard somebody clear his throat. I lifted my eyes to the man who had given me the envelope. I wondered if he expected me to give him a tip, but I couldn't have been more wrong. "She's tethered to the hitching post," he said, pointing with his thumb behind his back.

I didn't understand what he was saying, but then I saw her, and it was then I realized who the man before me was. He was the fella from the stables, the one who had almost kicked me out of the place when I was simply stroking the beautiful mare's coat. The animal was a few feet from us, tied to a post, but I didn't know what this man wanted.

"Your brother was too generous, so I took the liberty to include a saddle," the man explained. "You're lucky to get her."

Before I could react, he was gone. I started walking towards the mare in disbelief. My brother had given me the only thing I had desired to have. I remembered the night before we had talked about nothing much, and at some point the conversation wandered to more serious topics. I don't know why, but I started blabbering about what I would do if I had lots of money. Of course, first off, I'd ensure my mother's welfare, paying off my family's debts, and get us out of the mess we were involved in now, and then I'd marry Doritha. It was darn money that had forced us apart, and I felt it was so unfair. I had kept banging on and on about the same, expressing my frustration. And when I stopped my rant, I mentioned that beautiful mare I had seen in town. My brother had listened to me with a strange expression. What his message said was true. I had thought he had stopped listening to me at some point, but no, he had heard everything I had said, and I guess he was trying to show me he really cared.

I was before the animal, and brushed my hand over her smooth neck. The mare let out a soft neigh, and I chuckled. "And what do we call you, beautiful?" A name popped to my mind. Katie. Before I was born, my mother had given birth to a girl she called Katie, but the baby just survived a few months. Ma sometimes mentioned her with a logical longing, and well, I don't know if it was strange, but I knew I wanted to call my horse… the first thing I've ever owned … after my baby sister.

Shoots and roaring voices snapped me out of my daydreaming. I had forgotten about the bank robbery for a moment, and I realized that the sheriff and his posse were ready to leave. My heart started pounding, refusing to believe my brother could be behind all this. Yet, my head also told me that my doubts were logical. I was torn between my loyalty, and my dreaded suspicions.

The group of men trotted past me towards the southern edge of the town. I wasn't sure what crossed my mind then, but I knew I had to do something. Without thinking about it twice, I jumped on Katie, and galloped off. I could have followed the men, but instead, I went in the opposite direction. If the sheriff and his men found the gang, there was nothing else to do. Actually, I didn't plan to do anything… in fact, I wanted those criminals to be caught, and pay for what they'd done. So why was I galloping out of town like a flash? I don't really know, but I needed to make sure my brother hadn't had any part in the bank robbery. It would take a load off my already crowded mind. I might not find him. In fact, I didn't want to find him. I was running the risk of having to face a reality I didn't want to, so not knowing for sure would leave some scope for some hope, but the certainty… that was too frightening. I know I was a fool. I could have stayed put, and remained in town, but there I was, galloping blindly, running towards a place I wanted to escape.

* * *

Kid stopped his account, realizing that once again he had forgotten about his audience, and was telling more than he should. Teaspoon's bright badge shone in the room as the light coming from the window fell on it. He was confessing his suspicions that his brother was a criminal in front of Rock Creek's marshal.

"And what happened? Did you find him?" Noah urged him to talk.

Kid looked at him, but did not rush to give an answer. He kept thoughtful for a while, realizing that no matter what he said, he couldn't change circumstances. So he finally nodded, and said, "He was with that fella from the saloon, the one whose picture was on those wanted posters, and a couple of other men I didn't know. I didn't talk to him."

"I'm sorry, Kid," Buck whispered.

"But that doesn't mean he was involved in that bank robbery."

"That's true," Teaspoon agreed with Jimmy's words.

Kid simply shrugged his shoulders, and decided not to say anything else about the matter. It was true that he had not talked to Jed, but he had come close enough to hear what they were saying. The four men had been resting at a secluded area between mountains, and Kid had hidden behind a rock. Jed was talking, in fact, angrily reproaching the man from the saloon that he had killed the deputy. By the way he was speaking, Kid could tell that his brother was the head of this gang, and the bank robbery had been his plan. Kid had felt devastated as the silence settled in the camp. From behind his hideout, he noticed his brother's eyes looking ahead, and Kid was sure Jed knew he was hidden there. Their gazes met for a few seconds, and in that brief moment, Kid could see a myriad of feelings expressed in his brother's eyes: apology, regret, and especially a warning. Kid realized he had to go, and then as silently as he had crept to his hideout, he left.

After remembering these events just for himself, Kid continued his account.

It took me longer than necessary to return to Seneca. I wasn't in the mood to face my parents yet, and I wanted to let some steam off. I rode like hell on Katie, the wind on my face, and the sensation of freedom offered me some comfort. In a way I was relieved that the sheriff and his posse would not find Jed since they had gone in the opposite direction. I know it was wrong of me to think like that, but I wanted my brother to be safe, and I especially didn't want my mother to see her son be brought to justice. I had the feeling I would never see Jed again, and as I finally approached Seneca, I whispered a goodbye to the wind, and steered Katie to the city.

When I eased off my mare, I almost fell down. After riding for hours, my legs felt like jelly and I had to grab the hitching post to avoid biting the dust. It had been years since I last rode like this, so I told myself to take it easy the next time. When I started feeling my legs again, I started walking towards the hotel. The sun was low in the sky, and my stomach rumbled. I hadn't eaten anything all day, and suddenly, I realized how hungry I was. When I came closer to the hotel, my parents were outside talking to an elegant, tall man, and I panicked. The man looked like a lawyer, or a politician. I thought he might be in the local government, and I feared my brother's involvement in the robbery had been discovered. I wondered if this man was questioning my parents about Jed's whereabouts. If I was asked, anybody would see through my lies… I'm too transparent at times, and I'm a terrible liar. I didn't want to give my brother away despite what he had done.

I was close to them, and my pace slowed down. I should turn around and leave. I didn't want to talk to this man… I couldn't. My intentions, though, were spoiled when my father spotted me, and waved at me. "Kid, come here!" he shouted. The man turned his serious countenance to me, and I had no other option but approach. I plastered an uncomfortable smile on my face, and when I reached them, my father added, "Don't just stand there. Say something, for goodness' sake, Kid. Come on, boy, show your manners, and greet your future father-in-law."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

After the formalities were over, we followed my father's friend. He told us that he was very particular in his tastes, and he didn't like hotels. So whenever he had to travel, and stay away from his home, he usually rented a house. According to him, he felt more comfortable having a whole house for himself than being jammed in a small hotel room. As he was talking, I wondered why he had arranged for us to meet in this town instead of at his place. My father had told me they lived near St. Joseph, so I thought it would have been easier to meet there, and cut down the expenses. Then again I imagined since he was so well off, he could afford to splurge money generously.

My first impression of my fiancée's father was a good one. He seemed to be a friendly fella, with a charming personality, and courteous. My father, naturally, was overjoyed to see his friend again after so many years, and my mother looked pleased and flattered by his attentions. The three of them kept talking as I followed them. We finally got to our destination. It was a big, imposing house. It had two stories, wide windows lined along its wooden façade, and a beautiful door welcoming its visitors.

As we stepped inside, we were also awed by the beautiful, luxurious decoration of the place. If the house looked big from the outside, it was actually twice as big indoors. If this was just a rented house, what would this man's real home look like? It was quite impressive. We walked into the living room, and settled there. My parents sat on a two-seater sofa whereas I sank down on a lonely, wooden armchair. I scanned the room. There was a wide bay window at the far end, through which light filtered generously. Mahogany furniture enhanced the beauty of the finely hand painted walls, and old portraits, and still-lifes added a sense of yesteryear to the place. In these luxurious surroundings I felt a bit lost, like a fish out of water, and as I glanced at my parents, I could tell my mother was charmed but overwhelmed.

"And where's your lovely daughter, John?" asked my mother.

The man sat down on an upholstered chair opposite my parents, crossed his arms, and then said, "When I left, she was in her bedroom, making herself presentable to receive you. And well, you know women. It takes a while for them to get dressed." His words made me realize that I was right about her. What kind of person would make everybody else wait? If she knew she needed all this time, she should have started her dolling-up earlier. This just showed she was a vain and spoiled daddy's girl. I could even guess that she surely looked down on me and my parents, thinking she was better than us. After all, we were just poor nobodies, and she, her father, and their money came to our rescue like saintly saviors to rotten sinners. My stomach even lurched as I thought of being tied to this pampered girl forever. "She's quite excited about the wedding," her father continued. "You know, women always dream of their wedding day. She has fond memories of you, Kid, and I'm sure she'll be a good wife to you."

"She won't have complaints about my boy either," my father added.

I shifted uncomfortably on my seat, and John, as he had insisted on being called, looked at me, and smiled. "I know this isn't a regular marriage, and it can be quite daunting. Don't think I don't understand your apprehensions, Kid. Let me tell you something. When I married my late wife, I thought I was in love, but actually, I realized you fall in love for real after you live and share everything with that person. What we call love is just a fleeting passion, which never lasts. Marriage is more than that, and in the end all married couples get settled for companionship, and mutual respect. I'm sure you and my daughter will be able to cross that bridge together."

I didn't reply to his speech. I knew he was somehow right, but at the same time he was totally wrong. I really believed that what I felt for Doritha would last forever until we were old and wrinkled, and I couldn't imagine sharing anything with a girl I didn't know, and who was evidently so different to me. How could I settle for that? I was sure I'd be miserable in this marriage, and I was just sacrificing my happiness for my parents' welfare. Of course, I knew Doritha would never be mine even though I didn't have to marry this girl, but I would feel more peace if I remained a single man for the rest of my life. Naturally, I didn't say any of this, but my soul was screaming deafeningly.

"In any case, I wanted to talk to you and your parents about something before my daughter comes down here," he said.

My ears perked up at his comment. I was intrigued by the reason why this man wanted his daughter to marry me. Obviously, she could do much better than me, and I imagined a wealthy man must hobnob with people his own social status. Why hadn't he chosen somebody from his same class for his daughter? I didn't understand that, and Doritha's words rang in my mind. Maybe there was something wrong with her. That would explain why she was excited to marry a poor stranger. Nobody would marry her because there was something wrong with her. That was the only explanation I could think of, and now I waited for her father to warn me about this.

"As you can imagine, I'm a man of fortune in the literal sense," he started. "It wasn't always this way. I was born to a family of limited resources. My father was a fisherman, and even though there was always a hot meal on our table, we didn't have money for much else. And when I grew up, I knew I didn't want to be poor all my life. I moved to the west, and it was a hard, bumpy road, but I worked hard to get what I have now."

"That's admirable, John," my mother remarked.

He gave her an appreciative smile, and continued, "I'm a straightforward person, and I like to clarify things before they get muddled up. I don't believe a person's efforts should be taken for granted. I have money, but the money is mine, not my daughter's."

"I understand that," I said when he looked at me pointedly.

"I believe my children have to walk their own road. Until now, my daughter has enjoyed the easy life I have given her, but now things will change. She's going to be your wife, the mother of your children, and your responsibility. You will have to look after her, work for her, and provide for her. But you can't count on my money… it's out of the question. One day when I die, you will inherit my fortune and estate, but before that, it's you and her alone."

I thought what he was saying was quite paradoxical. He said his money was out of the question, but he had bought a husband for his daughter, so money wasn't so out of bounds as he said. I hadn't given much thought to what my life would be once I married her because the idea was too frightening. I didn't care about his money, and I never thought I would be rolling in money because of my marriage. I had just never imagined what things would be like. I didn't want to imagine, not even in that moment.

"But don't think I'm not going to help. I'm not a terrible father. You need a little push, and I'll give it to you," he continued with a smile. "My wedding present will be that push… the place you're going to turn into a home. I've bought you a house in Rock Creek… of a decent size, with an orchard, and a field. I know you're farmers, and want to make a living in farming. I'm sure you'll love the place."

"Why Rock Creek?" I asked intrigued.

"It's a nice, growing town. Safe for a young married couple. I've only heard good things about it, so why not?" I simply nodded. I really didn't care where I would live, and I didn't even know why I was asking questions. Here was my destiny, the one I had thought I could avoid, but here it was, and I knew it was definite.

A door softly banged closed above us, followed by the sound of steps. Automatically, my eyes lifted to the ceiling as John said, "And here she comes… you're about to meet your bride."

* * *

Kid paused again, and looked around. Rachel, Teaspoon, and the riders were clearly captivated by his story, and when his pause lasted longer than expected, a few voices protested. "Come on, Kid, don't let us hanging there!" Cody exclaimed. "Tell us about her!"

"What did she look like?" Jimmy asked.

Kid kept thoughtful, which proved too much for his audience's patience. "Was she pretty?"

At Noah's question, Kid smiled. "All women are pretty, so I guess she is… uh… yeah, she is," Kid finally admitted.

"So what was wrong with her?" Cody asked again.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Buck echoed.

"Yes, nothing."

"Then what was the reason her father wanted to marry her off to you?" Rachel voiced the question in everybody's minds.

"To this day I have no idea," Kid answered truthfully. "I can't say there was anything wrong with her. It's a mystery to me. The only thing that drew my attention that day is that she was wearing the most unappealing dress, and even her father commented on it."

* * *

My parents and I politely shook hands with her, and even though my curiosity for her hogged my attention, I also noticed her father was looking her up and down. "Didn't you have an uglier dress in your wardrobe?" he asked ironically with an openly amused expression. She was wearing a brown dress, and I think it wasn't as ugly as her father said, but it was too wide, which made her look extremely thin, especially as she had also donned a hood in the same dark tone.

She didn't reply to her father's comment, and simply scurried to sit on another chair in the luxurious living room. While our parents returned to their seats, settled in a way that clearly favored conversation, I found that both I and my so-called fiancée were sitting opposite our folks, in parallel to each other with our chairs placed at both sides of the big mahogany door, as if we had been punished for some unknown mischief. Our parents kept talking, and through the corner of my eye I studied her. Of course I was curious, and to tell you the truth, as I looked at her, I realized that the memory I had of this girl couldn't be right. The little girl I remembered had nothing to do with her. Maybe Jed was right, and my memories had turned into fake images that were unrelated to reality.

That, though, was not what attracted my attention as I looked at her. She was sitting straight in her seat, looking seriously ahead, and her intertwined hands resting on her lap. Her image before me reminded me of somebody. It was a very powerful sensation, and I racked my brains trying to figure out what person I found her so similar to. It was strange, because I couldn't think of anybody who looked like her, but she clearly reminded me of somebody strongly.

While I was eyeing her, she suddenly turned her head to me. I blushed furiously, as I looked away, and turned my attention back to the three older people in the middle of the living room. By doing so, I realized that my mother was animatedly talking to John, but my father was indiscreetly perusing the girl as well. I imagined that he was also trying to find out why his friend wanted to marry his daughter off. That was the big question and at simple sight we couldn't see anything that could give us a clue. She had no evident flaws, and as I told you, she even had a pretty face. I still think there must be something I don't know, but so far this is still an enigma.

Seeing my father's eyes boring on her, I felt sorry for her. I reckon it can't have been comfortable to be the target of two strangers' curiosity. Her father was clearly flaunting her like a prize in a raffle, and I could tell she was feeling self-conscious.

"I think it's time we dealt with one of the reasons why we're here today," John said. "You know the money." At his words my mother's expression turned from cheerfulness to a mixture of pain and embarrassment, evidently feeling hurt, and humiliated by the notion, whereas my father was smiling. "I already made the proper arrangements for the money to be sent to the local bank in your town. Give my name, and the money is yours."

My father frowned. "Don't you trust me, John? Did you think my boy wouldn't go along with the wedding if we got the money first? We are poor farmers, but we're honest."

John flashed his most charming smile as he said, "Of course I do trust you. But these roads are full of bandits and criminals. I thought it would be safer to send the money to your bank with professionals."

His words disarmed my father, who apologized. Yet, I could read through the man's kindness, and I knew my pa was right. John wanted to make sure the wedding actually took place. I realized this marriage was more important to him than us, which was very odd indeed. My family might have an interest in the girl because of all the money that would supposedly be mine one day, but what about them? It was clear that he wanted this marriage fervently, at all costs. I couldn't tell what her feelings were because even though her father had said she was excited, I hadn't seen any of that excitement. Actually, apart from the introductions and a few polite greetings, she hadn't said a word yet.

"This is the document that shows the transaction. You can take it as a guarantee," John said.

My father took the paper, and nodded in approval. I shifted on my chair uncomfortable as they settled the business. I felt as if I was in a cattle fair, and they were haggling for a piece of meat. I threw a glimpse at my side, checking the reaction in my counterpart, but she seemed calm. There was no reaction, and I remembered that she wanted this as her father had said. This idea annoyed me, and almost automatically my neutral glimpse turned into a glare, which she never saw. I was miffed because I couldn't understand why a girl wanted to marry a stranger or why she wanted to be part of this pantomime. If we went through with this marriage, it would be totally abnormal. I didn't understand that at all, and my ignorance made me even more irritated.

John continued talking, "I've booked a table at a restaurant for tonight's dinner, not the one attached to the hotel. I've been there myself a few times, and the food is good. It'll be a good chance to relax before the big day."

My mother smiled, and her eyes shifted to the wall clock on her left and added, "It's still early for dinner. Why don't you let Kid take your daughter for a walk in the city? They need to get to know each other better."

John stared back at my mother, and replied, "You're right, of course, but I don't think that's a good idea. I agree with the opinion that looks are important. Not only do you need to be virtuous, but look it too. I don't think two young unmarried people should be left alone and unchaperoned. They have the rest of their lives to be alone, and know each other. I'm sorry, but I'm quite strict in that respect."

My mother didn't protest, but I found John's refusal too strange. Why didn't he want me to be alone with his daughter? An innocent walk wouldn't harm her reputation, especially when nobody knew us here. I still didn't know why he had chosen this place for us to meet, away from their town. What were they hiding from us? Was John afraid we might find out something? Maybe the reason why he wanted to marry his daughter off? This was very bizarre, and I was sure we didn't know the whole truth. I looked at my wife-to-be again. What are you hiding? I silently wondered. And right then I swore to myself I wouldn't marry her until I found out the mystery. And sure, I would find it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

That night we enjoyed a delicious dinner at the restaurant John had a reservation in. Like earlier, he hogged the conversation, flaunting his bubbly personality, and bringing up memories he and my father shared of their time together in the army. My fiancée was sitting between her pa and my mother, and kept the same attitude as when we had been in the house. She didn't speak much, only when my mother asked her something, and even so she answered very briefly, blushing when she noticed everybody was looking at her. I thought she was a really strange girl.

During dinner I learned that John had arranged for us to get married at the local church in two days. I'd be a free man for just twenty-four hours, and then I'd have to come to terms with my new situation. I wanted to protest, and put off the wedding for a while, but I didn't say anything. It didn't make sense to delay something that I couldn't avoid.

When dinner was over, we returned to the hotel straightaway. My mother had suggested we go for a walk, but John had declined, saying that both he and his daughter were too tired. The idea they were hiding something was still strong in my mind, and even soared at his resistance for a mere stroll. It was as if he had every single detail planned: our first meeting, the dinner, the wedding… but anything that escaped his layout was met with a refusal. He definitely was nervous, thinking that things might go wrong if he wasn't in control. I wondered what he was afraid of. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I knew something fishy was going on.

Once in my hotel room, I unbuttoned my shirt, and untucked the ends from my trousers. It was another warm night, and I opened the window to let some air in. I stood there, looking out into the almost deserted streets of the town. There were just a few people wandering about, men that resolutely headed for the saloon, and several couples strolling arm in arm. Seneca's night life played before my eyes like a detached show which I watched as if I were seeing the rain fall. It's difficult to explain how I felt in those moments; I had never experienced such strange sensations. It was as if this wasn't me, but a caricature of myself, and I was just looking at this poor man from a different context.

Suddenly, as I stood there, before the window, my shirt dangling from my shoulders, something grabbed my attention. There was John, walking under the starry night, and evidently heading for the hotel. As he disappeared from my sight, I waited for a few minutes, and then I saw him step out of the hotel again. This time he wasn't alone. My father was with him, and they walked side by side. Maybe I was overreacting, but it was really strange. This man had declined to go for a walk just ten minutes ago because he was too tired, and now he and my father seemed to be doing just that. It was really odd.

My father and John disappeared down the street. I moved from the window, and dashed out of the room. "Ma!" I called as I stood outside her door, and when she answered, I stepped inside. My mother was still up, propped against the bed headboard, and reading a book. "Ma, I just saw Pa and his friend outside," I said, getting straight to the point.

"Ah yes, John came to find him" she replied breezily.

"What for?"

"He wanted to talk to him about something about the wedding," she explained.

"Shouldn't he talk to us too? I'm the one who's supposed to get married," I replied in obvious irritation.

"Oh honey, don't take it to heart. I think it was just an excuse for two old friends to get together… you know."

"And have some drinks?" I asked suspiciously.

"Don't fret, Kid. Your father's been good lately, and I don't think he wants to spoil things now… and I imagine John won't let him do anything silly."

"You seem to have a very high opinion of Pa's friend," I pointed out.

"I think he's a good man… well, I hardly know him, but I don't have a reason to think ill of him," my mother added.

"Ma, I think they're hiding something from us. Everything's so weird!" I blurted out.

"The situation's strange, I can admit as much."

"It's more than that! I know. I have a hunch. They're hiding something. She's so strange, and he's too nice, but for some reason he doesn't want me to be alone with his daughter. I don't buy that thing about virtue and appearances. Ma, I won't marry her until I find out what it is they're hiding."

My mother looked at me in a way that revealed her thoughts clearly. I'm sure she believed my attitude was just a consequence of my reluctance to go through with this wedding. She didn't say any of this, but I knew as much. "And what are you gonna do, Kid?"

"She could tell us," I suggested.

"John won't let his daughter be alone with you," my mother replied. I nodded, and then she added, "Let's do something. I can come up with an excuse to get her alone. I can drop by their place tomorrow, and ask her to go shopping with me. She must still need a few things for the wedding. I'll talk to her then, but I don't think there's nothing in what you say, honey."

I smiled. My mother was a smart lady, and I didn't care what she found out. I just wanted to know what I was getting myself into.

* * *

The following morning my mother went on her self-appointed mission after we had breakfast. My father didn't show any signs he had been drinking, which was a relief. As my mother left, I hung out at the hotel entrance, looking at the passers-by from my position. After a few minutes I saw my ma appear with my fiancée in tow. I smiled, thinking that my mother always managed to do what she put her mind to. Yet, to my chagrin I realized that John was also following them like a watchdog. My mother waved as she passed by me, and her companion just cast a neutral glance in my direction. When John went past by my side, he asked me to join them, but I refused. I still could say no to something, couldn't I? Besides, I was annoyed because my mother wouldn't find out anything when John was around. Our little plan was ruined. I didn't know what I wanted to discover, and whatever I thought was kept a mystery wouldn't prevent me from getting married, but at least, I would know who this family was for real.

Sullen, I returned to the hotel. I climbed the stairs, and walked to my room. I didn't feel like doing anything, and I wanted to sleep the day away. When I opened the door, and slipped inside, I got startled as I felt a couple of arms taking hold of me. Before I could react, my lips were pressed in a wet kiss. Automatically, I gently pushed the person away as a curse escaped my lips. "What the hell?"

It was then that I finally saw her. It was a girl, around my age, her face heavily made up, and wrapped in one of those saloon dresses that left little scope for imagination. She rested her hands on her hips in an enticing way as her bright red mouth smiled from ear to ear. "Howdy, handsome."

"Who… who are you?" I managed to ask.

"I'm your present," she replied brushing her hands over her trim body.

"Wh… what?" I croaked in confusion.

"I hear you're getting married tomorrow, cowboy," she replied. "So your daddy sends me to give you some cheer on your last day as a single man."

I shook my head. This was something my father would do, and I wasn't surprised. Getting a prostitute for me… how crazy was that? "Accept my apologies, Ma'am, but I'm afraid I won't need your services."

The girl pulled a long face as she flopped down on the bed. "Don't say that!" she exclaimed. "You can't refuse me. For once I get a nice, handsome man, and I get turned away." As she talked, she played with the strings of her very tight corset, and began to pull at them. "Are you sure, love? We could have a very good time," she insisted, her free hand slowly sliding her already short skirt up her thigh.

Embarrassed, I looked down, and muttered, "I'm sorry, but no."

"All right then," the girl replied in a resigning voice as she jumped to her feet. "Such a shame! You're even the gentleman type. " I dared to look at her, and she was staring at me. Her brown eyes were staring at me with curiosity, and when she noticed my gaze on her, she asked, "Do you love her then?"

"Uh?" I let out clumsily.

"The girl you're gonna marry tomorrow. Do you love her?"

She was a stranger, but I don't know why, I ended up telling her the truth. "No," I simply said. I could have told her I was deeply in love, and couldn't cheat on my wife-to-be, but somehow I just couldn't lie about this.

"Then why can't we have some enjoyment? You know, you and me," she said, her index finger seductively caressing my jaw.

"It's complicated," I simply said as I removed her finger. She was making me nervous. I'm a man, and I'm not made of stone. She was very close; I could even feel her breath on me, and she was beautiful.

"I know what you mean," she said, but I wasn't sure what she had understood by my vague words. She kept silent for a second, and then blurted out, "Are you a virgin, handsome?" Her question disarmed me, and even though I didn't say a word, my red cheeks gave me away. "Let me give you a piece of advice. A woman really appreciates that a man knows what he's doing. I could teach you well in just a couple of hours. You don't wanna mess up on your wedding night, do you? At least, you should know your bearings."

"Thanks, but again no," I said firmly.

"All right, suit yourself," she replied, giving in. "Anyway, if you feel lonely tonight, come and find me," she added, and on a piece of paper that was on the dresser, she wrote down something. "This is my name," she said, handing me the scrap of paper. "Don't forget it." I took it reluctantly, and she walked to the door. "And thank you."

"Thank you?" I echoed in confusion.

"For the kiss. Very nice."

The door closed behind her, and as I dropped onto the bed, I had to chuckle. Strange things were happening too often lately, and this matter with this lady had been the last straw. Thanks for the kiss? I hadn't even touched her! She had been the one who attacked me! Despite everything, I had to laugh. This was the first thing in days that made me laugh, and it felt good. My laughter resounded in the room as I lay down on the bed and the paper with the lady's name slipped from my fingers onto the bedside table.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep at some point, and insisting knocks on my door woke me up. Startled, I sat up in bed, not sure what time it was, or even where I was. The soft light coming through the window told me it was late afternoon, and I instantly remembered coming to my hotel room, the encounter with the woman, and then falling asleep. The knocks continued and I also made out the voice of my mother. "Come in, Ma!" I called with a husky voice.

The door opened, and my mother stepped inside. "Did I wake you up?" she asked.

"I had a nice nap," I simply said. "And how did you get on?"

My mother sat down on the bed as she exclaimed, "It was good. We didn't buy much, but I got a dress for tomorrow."

I didn't care about their shopping at all, and I asked what I wanted to know. "Did you talk to her?"

My mother nodded. "She's a lovely girl, Kid. She's just as scared as you are."

"And did you find out what they ain't saying?" I insisted.

"We talked about a lot of things," my mother said vaguely.

"Why is her father so eager to marry her off to me?"

"I don't know that," she answered.

"But she told you something, didn't she?"

"Yes, but it has nothing to do with you."

"What is it?" I asked again.

"I can't tell you, Kid. I can't betray her trust."

Her words bewildered me. "I'm your son! And she's nothing but a stranger. I'm condemned to marry her just to save you and Pa!" I exclaimed angrily.

"I told you. This has nothing to do with you, and the wedding. She needed to talk, and I was there to listen. She's a great girl, Kid!"

"Yes, so you say. I don't care if she's the greatest girl in the world. I don't love her, and I don't want to be part of a fake marriage!"

"Kid…"

My mother tried to talk to me, but I was really angry. I don't know why, because I never thought my mother would find the reason to stop this marriage. I was furious, maybe because the time was close or maybe I was just jealous of her and my mother… silly, I know, but I couldn't help it. "Could you leave me alone, Ma, please? I need to be alone." My mother simply nodded. She rose to her feet, gave me a kiss on the cheek and left without a word.

I spent the rest of the day in the room. I declined to have dinner, and when the sun set, I tried to sleep. I couldn't. I simply kept turning and tossing, praying that time kept still and tomorrow wouldn't come. Whenever I managed to fall asleep, I was haunted by terrible nightmares. I was terrified. The day I had dreaded was coming dangerously close, and I didn't want it… I didn't want it. I wished I could escape, and even die at that very moment. I was that perturbed that I longed for the worst. Even death seemed more appealing than spending my life with a girl I felt nothing for. The idea of renouncing forever to love horrified me.

After another nightmare, I woke up startled. My body was trembling, but my whole body was covered in sweat. My throat was dry, and parched. My hand crept for the glass of water on my bedside table, but unluckily I tipped it over, the water tricking down to my bed. "Damn!" I exclaimed as I jumped off the bed. There was still a light in my room, and put the glass back up, and with a towel I wiped the wooden surface of the table. With two fingers I picked up a totally drenched paper, and I remembered the lady from this afternoon whose name she had scribbled down. The water had erased all traces of her name, but somehow her words resounded in my mind. _"If you're lonely, come and find me."_ I was really feeling lonely, and I can't explain it, but as if I was in a trance, I got dressed, and left the hotel. Tonight was totally bizarre… the oddest night of my life. I headed for the saloon because unbelievably, I wanted to find her.

As I stepped into the saloon, I scanned the place. I finally found her. She had also seen me, and our eyes met in the distance. She knew I was there for her. Very slowly she walked to me, and looking at me, she smiled. "Howdy, handsome," she greeted me in the same way as that afternoon. She hooked her arm around mine, and I let myself be steered along… I didn't care where; I would just have followed her to the end of the world.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9**

"Way to go, Kid!" Cody exclaimed, clapping his hands at the same time.

"Hold on," Kid replied. "Nothing happened… nothing."

"If you don't want to tell us, it's all right," Jimmy added. "And don't be ashamed. We have all sinned in our lives."

"I'm telling you the truth. Nothing happened," Kid insisted. "I don't know why I went to find her. When I was there, I realized that wasn't my place. I just felt lost, and in a way she was the only one unrelated to my problems. I needed to talk to somebody… but somebody who wouldn't judge me… somebody who was not involved."

"You mean you just talked to that saloon girl?" Buck asked in disbelief.

"Yes, that's right. Believe me or not, but that's the truth. I talked to her, and she just listened… she didn't want to give me advice, or pity me… she just listened because that was all I needed," Kid explained. "She even started telling me about her own life, and how she had ended up working there. In a way, it was good to listen to something else besides my own problems."

"It was nice of that lady to hear you out," Rachel said.

"Yeah, a great woman," Kid agreed. "And she told me something, which I think was quite true. _The more you fight it, the harder it is._ She was right, but I found it almost impossible for me to accept my own reality."

"Life's always impossible to accept," Noah pointed out with a faraway look.

"I guess. I returned to my hotel a couple of hours later, and as I lay in bed again, my mind flew to Louise… I couldn't stop thinking about her."

"Louise?" Jimmy echoed. "The saloon girl?"

Kid stared at the long-haired rider as if he had lost his mind. "No… Lou… Louise was my fiancée. Even though nothing linked me to her, and I hadn't done anything wrong with the saloon girl, I felt bad inside… as if I had cheated on her. It didn't make sense, or maybe it did. Maybe I really wanted her to know and feel I had cheated… so that she would call off the wedding. I know it doesn't make sense. I had to marry her to protect my parents, but my own feelings betrayed me, and I felt even worse," Kid explained. "I tried to think positively, not to fight it, as Violet, the saloon girl, had advised me. I racked my brains to come up with good things about Louise, why this marriage might be beneficial. I couldn't think of much. I didn't know anything about Louise… I couldn't even say what her voice was like. I had only heard her talk a few times, and very briefly. She was a mystery… a total mystery. I still thought she was hiding something, something that I guessed my mother knew. My ma said Louise was a good girl, but I knew she didn't know her either. So the night dragged on, and before I knew it, the first sun rays fell on my figure, and the feelings of dread came back full force… it was my wedding day, and I couldn't do anything about it."

* * *

That morning I got up without much of an appetite. Actually, I hadn't eaten anything for many hours, but my stomach was not in the mood to be fed. Without further delay I started to get dressed for my wedding. It made no sense to come up with excuses. This was my duty, and I had to do it.

When I had finished putting on my Sunday suit, there was a knock at the door, and then my mother appeared. "Kid, you look so handsome," she exclaimed with an emotional voice. I gave her a small smile. I didn't feel very special. This was an old suit, and my ma had seen me in it several times before. I guess mothers took these things in a different way. When I didn't answer to her words, she added, "Are you still angry with me?"

"Of course not, Ma," I replied.

"You're what I love most in this life, and I'd do anything to protect you, Kid. There's nothing strange with your wife-to-be, and I think you're doing the right thing marrying her."

"Yes, I know…" I said without much enthusiasm. This was the right thing to do because my family counted on me, and I was tired of hearing the same over and over again.

My mother smiled and added, "No, honey, you don't know. But I guess you'll understand one day." I looked at her in confusion, but she didn't say another word. I didn't understand what she meant by that, and I still don't know.

My father was waiting for us in the hotel lobby, and the three of us walked out towards the small church. I don't actually remember how I was feeling. It was as if my mind had gone blank, and resignation had taken over. What I do remember is that before we stepped into the church, my mother put a hand on my arm to stop me. I looked at her questioningly, and she returned my stare while she whispered, "You have to promise me you'll take good care of Louise. I'm not asking you to love her, but she's gonna be your wife, and she deserves respect and your consideration."

I stared at her, wondering if her words had anything to do with my little escapade the night before. Maybe she had seen me leave the hotel. Even though I tried to find the answer in her firm glance, I couldn't find any, so I just nodded in agreement. My mother smiled, and hooking her arm around mine, we entered the church.

Apart from the minister, and the organ player, the church was deserted. There were no guests for this wedding. We didn't know anybody here, and apparently, John Boggs hadn't invited anybody. This was strange, but right then nothing about my future in-laws surprised me any longer. My parents and I shook hands with the minister, and as I stood next to the clergyman, they went to sit.

A few minutes later the church door opened, and John and his daughter made their appearance. They advanced along the aisle as the organ played the wedding march. I glanced at John, who was clearly happy if his smile was any indication, whereas his daughter looked nothing alike. My eyes focused on her. She held my look, glancing at me with a serious countenance. I have to admit that she looked pretty that day. She was wearing a very simple dress, which struck me as odd. I know most women get married in their normal attire because they can't afford a wedding dress, but it was evident that her father could buy a whole store of dresses if he wanted to. So I found it strange that she wasn't a white bride. Despite everything, she looked pretty in the dress she was wearing. It was light blue with tiny motifs, which was much more appealing than the one she had donned the day we met. There were also some wild flowers in her hair. This was the first time I had seen her without a hood on her head, and I realized she had short hair. That didn't make her look worse. On the contrary, I think it appealed her.

We soon stood side by side in front of the minister. The ceremony didn't take long, and I responded and repeated everything like an automaton. Everything was so cold and fake. The minister's voice echoed in the cavernous, empty church but strangely, both my voice and hers were just mere whispers. I didn't even flinch when I vowed to love, and cherish her even though I knew it was a lie. I didn't love her. I put a golden ring on her thin finger and she did the same, and when the minister finally pronounced us husband and wife, he granted us permission to kiss. I turned to her nervously. Was I supposed to kiss her for the first time in front of two strangers and our parents? She looked at me with an expression I couldn't figure out. Was it expectation, shyness or apprehension? A few seconds went by that felt like an eternity, and when I decided I would just give her a chaste peck on the cheek, there was a loud thump, as the church door slammed open.

A couple of men ran into the church, urging the minister to go with them. They said something about their father being in agony, and asking for the kind minister. So the clergyman excused himself, and ran with the two men. I was saved from awkwardness, and my wedding ended without the required kiss. John and my parents came to congratulate us. I kept smiling, but I knew I wasn't doing a good job in faking my satisfaction.

It was done. I was married. There was no way back, and if I thought the wedding part was scary, I realized that there was something more frightening: what lay before us… a life with a woman I knew next to nothing about. And the worst was that I had no interest in knowing her. This was what her father and she wanted, and they had it now. They couldn't ask me for anything else. I knew my responsibilities. I'm a man of honor, and I wouldn't do anything against her or the vows I had taken, even falsely. Yet, she couldn't expect me to be a proper husband, because I just couldn't.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10**

After the wedding was over, John took us to the same restaurant we had dinner two nights before. A sumptuous lunch was served to supposedly celebrate our marriage. Despite having eaten next to nothing in the last hours, I still had no appetite. I just kept picking at the food. My father and John seemed to be in a cheerful mood whereas my mother had a serious expression, and kept sending me concerned looks. On my left there was Louise. She still didn't say much, but unlike me, she had a very healthy appetite, eating the very last crumb on her plate.

When we were eating dessert, John said, "You will leave straightaway after this meal, won't you?"

"Leave?" my father asked in confusion.

"For Rock Creek. I'm afraid I can't go with you. I have some business to deal with at home, but you can find the house easily. It's in an area called Five Crosses."

"But why the hurry?" my father protested. "We could set off early tomorrow morning. It ain't right to ask the newlyweds to spend their wedding night in the open."

At my father's words I jumped at my chance. I wanted to put off the moment I had to be left alone with Louise as much as possible. I didn't want to put on a pantomime to just satisfy our parents, and I couldn't lie with a stranger. The idea made me sick. "I think John has a point there, Pa. The sooner we get to Rock Creek, the better."

"And what do you think, Louise?" my mother turned to my bride.

Louise briefly lifted her eyes to me, and then said, "I guess we could travel today."

"If our children think it's all right, then it's settled," my father added.

John told us we could travel on the wagon he had used to come to Seneca. I still didn't understand why we hadn't met in Rock Creek directly, but I didn't say anything about it. I guessed he had his reasons. John paid the restaurant bill, and announced his intention to go at that moment. We exchanged goodbyes, and other formalities, and John then asked his daughter to step out with him. I imagined he wanted to say goodbye to her in private.

We stayed alone in the restaurant for a while, tasting some good coffee. A few minutes later Louise returned. "Everything all right?" my mother asked as she shared a look with my young bride.

"Yes," Louise replied in a soft voice.

"I imagine you'll want to change out of those clothes, and pack your things," my mother pointed out.

This time Louise just nodded. While she and my mother went to the place Louise and her father had stayed in, my father and I returned to the hotel to pick up our luggage. We didn't have much, just a couple of carpet bags, but I imagined Louise would have tons. I know girls tend to own a lot of things. I remember one summer when Doritha went to spend some weeks with her grandmother. As I went to see her off, I was surprised by the huge amount of luggage she took just for a few weeks.

The wagon was in front of the house, and we placed our two bags in its empty inside. We then walked into the house. My mother was alone in the spacious hall, and at that moment Louise was coming down the stairs. She was carrying a single bag, and when she reached us, my mother asked, "Louise, where's the rest of your luggage?"

"This is all I have," she replied.

My mother seemed quite surprised. "Is your father sending your things to Rock Creek?" she asked again.

Louise shook her head. "This is everything. I don't need a lot."

"If this is everything, then let's get going," my father added.

I offered to take Lou's bag, but she refused with a silent gesture. We left the house, and took our positions. My father would drive the wagon with my ma sitting next to him, Lou would sit at the back, and I would ride Katie. It was around three o'clock that our journey to Rock Creek started. Fortunately, the sky was overcast, protecting us from the heat of the summer sun. As we traveled, I felt more relaxed. This was the first time I rode my beautiful horse for real, and it felt great. I love the sensation of the air on my skin, the thousands of new smells that welcomed me to this new land, and the beautiful landscape I could see like a feast for our eyes. I could not forget my present predicament, naturally, but somehow the scenario of my life had faded a little, and I was able to believe that I had no cares at all.

When the sun set, we stopped for the night in a clearing in the forest. I picked up some wood to make a fire while my mother and Louise walked to a small creek nearby to get some water. I was gradually coming to realize that my ma and my wife had become really close. They were talking in confidential tones, and I wondered what they were saying to each other. My mother hadn't wanted to tell me about her conversation with Louise, and I was still curious. And strangely, I started feeling jealous. I know it was foolish, but I couldn't help but want for me the attention my mother was paying my wife. I know my ma just wanted her to feel welcome and comfortable, and even though I could understand that, I felt unable to shed those mean feelings. Louise was a stranger… a stranger in the middle of my family, and I hated it when I realized that would be a constant situation from now on.

We had a light dinner my mother prepared, and the clinking of the forks against the metal plates was the only sounds to be heard that night. We were tired, and of course uncomfortable. I think without John around, we didn't know how to act and talk. I couldn't behave normally because Louise was there, and she made me really awkward. I guessed it was the same for her because she didn't say much either.

After dinner, my mother and Louise set to sleep in the back of the wagon while my father and I spread a couple of bedrolls on the ground. As I lay down under the stars, sleep wanted to give me the slip. I hadn't slept much in the last couple of days… or was it in the last couple of weeks? Despite my lack of rest, I wasn't sleepy. My fully-awake eyes kept looking at the thousands of bright stars above my head when a voice sounded by my side. "So how does it feel to be a married man, son?"

"Don't make me laugh, and go back to sleep," I replied, glaring in his direction even though in the darkness of the night he couldn't see my face.

"What's your problem, boy?"

"Pa, I did what I had to do, but don't expect me to be happy about it," I retorted, trying to keep my voice down.

"Many men would want to be in your shoes, Kid. She's a pretty girl… polite, discreet… and her father's very well-heeled. What else do you want?"

"I just wanted to be able to marry a girl I love!" I exclaimed.

"Still going on with the Simmons' girl? You know you wouldn't have married her either… she's beyond your grasp. Listen, Kid. A man needs a woman… and I don't think you could've done any better than this."

"Sorry to disagree," I replied sarcastically. He didn't say anything, and I added, "And I just want you to know I didn't like your little trick yesterday."

"What trick?" my father asked.

"You know… about Violet."

"Violet? What are you talking about?"

I knew my father too well, and I wasn't surprised he was denying the whole thing. It was the same story. He blundered, and blamed others… always. Nothing was his fault, and he'd soon come up with an excuse… a justification for his acts, and I wasn't in the mood to do that. "Just drop it. I just want you to know I didn't like it."

Even though I expected him to ask me further questions, he surprised me when he kept quiet, which I was glad for. My words might not mean anything to him, but I felt the need to have my say. Soon I heard his deep intakes of air, which told me he had fallen asleep, while I kept fully awake, looking at the stars, and thinking about what life would be like when they disappeared tomorrow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 11**

We continued our journey the following day. The night before I had finally succumbed to sleep, and at last, I had been able to get some much needed rest. We rode most of the day, just stopping to water the horses or to eat. It was early in the evening when we got to Rock Creek. Since it was summer time, the sun was still shining. We easily found the person we should contact to let us in the house. John had told his daughter how to locate him. It was Mr. Oliver, and he led us to the place. He told us the house was usually taken by the local schoolteacher, but since Mrs. Garner, the current teacher, had married and moved in with her husband, the property had been put up for sale. Mr. Oliver also told us that due to these circumstances, the fields on the farm had been neglected, and would need a lot of work to revive.

That's what I first saw when we rode in. Outgrown weeds and wild flowers covered the field, and I thought that if I wanted to make a living out of this place, I would need to work for many hours just to prepare it for the season. When we stopped, and stood before the house, I swept my eyes over the building. It was a welcoming place, a decent size, two stories, but I could also see that it had also been neglected like the fields. "It needs a lick of paint and it'll be as good as new," my mother said, almost reading my thoughts.

"You have to understand this house has been empty for over a year," Mr. Oliver added. "It's in good condition, but if I were you, I'd check the roof before winter comes." He then proceeded to unlock the door, and we got inside. The condition of the house didn't disappoint me. It was quite spacious, and well furnished. There were two bedrooms upstairs, and the rest of the rooms were on the ground floor. Upon closer inspection, we saw the house was fully equipped: there were blankets, and bedding in the bedrooms, crockery, cutlery and glassware in the kitchen, and on visiting the small barn, there was a mule, a horse, and the shed was full with farming implements and tack. Mr. Oliver explained that Mr. Boggs, my father-in-law, had required the house to be ready for use from the first moment, and he had paid extra for the animals.

After a few minutes, Mr. Oliver took his leave and went. As we stood on the porch, watching the man drive away in his buggy, my mother said, "Your father and I should also go, and get us a room in the hotel."

"What are you talking about, Ma? You're staying here!" I exclaimed.

"Kid, young people can't have old folks in their way," she replied to my protest.

"But…"

"Your mother's right, son. We have to leave," my father added.

My mother came to me, cupped my face in her hands, and said, "Honey, it's time you started to realize you're married now… get to know your lovely bride."

I didn't protest because I knew that my parents' presence would make me feel more awkward when the night arrived. There were only two rooms, and I would have to sleep in the same bedroom as Louise. That wasn't among my plans. So I simply nodded to my mother's words. They then left after we had unloaded our bags and left them inside the house. With a heavy heart I saw them go, and when I couldn't see them anymore, I turned around. Louise discreetly stood next to the door. She looked at me with her big eyes, and feeling uncomfortable, I averted my eyes.

Without a word, I walked into the house, and I heard her steps following me. I hated this sensation of awkwardness, and her mere presence annoyed me. I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't feel like a husband, and I couldn't be one. Her father had bought me like a toy… maybe satisfying his daughter's whim to have a husband. I was sure there must be something in her that repelled men. She hadn't talked a lot, so she was likely to have a really unbearable personality. That was what I remembered from the time we met in our childhood. Her father's money wasn't really an asset as he had clearly stated the first day. His money was only his, and the house we'd got from him was quite nice, but nothing extraordinary.

Whatever her plans were for this marriage, I didn't care to know. I was a person with feelings, and I couldn't fake them. She had to know that I wasn't a puppet. So I swirled around while I said in an irritated tone, "Let's get this clear. This marriage wasn't my idea. So don't expect me to act like a husband to you." Louise kept silent, looking at me with a confused frown, and I added, "I'm not gonna share the bedroom with you… ever. You take the master room, and I'll take the other one. And I don't want funny business, understood?"

She nodded slowly. I didn't know if she was upset, disappointed, or angry. Her face remained inscrutable. Her eyes kept staring at me… her silent stare made me so uncomfortable, I don't know why. I couldn't stand there any longer, so I said, "I'll take care of Katie now." And then I just dashed out, feeling as if I was escaping hell, and the worst thing was that whenever I did I would always have to return there.

* * *

"You're a fool," Cody exclaimed, interrupting my account.

"What?" Kid asked confused.

"Man, refusing two women in just a few days… that's atrocious," Cody continued. "Two nice, comely women… Are you crazy or what? I guess that's what they call a fool's luck."

"You don't understand," Kid replied.

"Sure I don't understand," Cody added. "And I guess nobody here understands you either."

"Cody, unfortunately, there are still people who have values," Buck piped in, contradicting his fellow rider's words. Kid smiled in appreciation. He knew his point of view was difficult to understand. It was easy to judge from outside, but when you have to walk in shoes that don't fit you, the road becomes much longer than it is.

"Son," Teaspoon joined in the conversation, "wouldn't it have been better if you'd talked to her?"

"If you were supposed to live with her, you should've followed your ma's advice… you know, get to know her," Rachel added.

"I guess you're right… and I've tried… not that night… later, but things are slow," Kid explained.

"So what happened after that?" Jimmy asked, annoyed for Cody's interruption again. He was enjoying listening to the new rider's story. They were tired of Teaspoon's tales, and it was nice to hear another voice for a change.

* * *

When I returned from tending Katie, the night had fallen. I had spent a couple of hours, looking around the stables, and making sure the animals were fine. I took my sweet time spreading hay in their stalls, filling their troughs with water and feed, and I even brushed their beautiful coats. The other horse was a beautiful black mare, with a white mark on its forehead. I was naturally partial to Katy, but this new horse was stunning.

As I was in the stables, I checked what I would have to buy in town the next day. I had fresh money. I tried to refuse at first, but my father-in-law had given me enough for us to live on for a few months until either I could get a job or I could make money from farming. My intention was to work the field; that's what I was … a farmer, and I didn't even think of looking for a job.

The house was dark when I got back inside. Actually, I had lingered in the stables in the hope I didn't have to face Louise again that night, and it had worked. She had clearly gone to bed. There was a faint aroma of food in the house, and I imagined she had cooked some dinner with the few things we had bought on our way here. My stomach rumbled. I was hungry, and I was about to head for the kitchen to rustle up something but I stopped. On the big table in the lounge, just at the head, there was a plate covered with a checked tea towel, a glass and a pitcher of water, and cutlery. Curious, I lifted the cloth, and found the plate was full. I guessed she had left some for me. That was really nice of Louise, I had to admit. So I sat down, and started eating. The food was cold, obviously, but I didn't care. I was too hungry, and I finished it off in no time.

When I went to my bedroom, I made a mental note to thank Louise. I don't think I ever said anything. I don't remember, but we hardly talked on those first days… we still don't talk a lot, but that first week was totally hectic as I tried to turn the property into a decent place. As Mr. Oliver had advised me, I checked the roof, and he was right. It was in sheer need of repair. That was my first priority. My father offered to help me with the job, and when the roof was finished, he and my mother would return to Virginia.

So every day he and my mother drove to the property. I and my father would start work straightaway while my ma stayed in the house with Louise. We would just stop for lunch, and when the day was coming to an end, we four would have dinner, and then my parents would ride back to town. I would usually work in the stables after dinner, and when I would finish, and return home, my wife would already be in her bedroom. Every day was the same. I enjoyed working with my father. I don't think I'd ever seen him sweat and make so much effort as I saw him that week. I was amazed. He was really changing, and I didn't know why. Maybe he was just getting old, and he was starting to understand, even though quite late, what family meant.

With utter dread, we finally nailed the last shingles on my roof. I didn't want my parents to go. When they were around, I felt safe… safe from Louise. I didn't have to face her alone. But when they left, I would understand for real what my life had become. Yet, I knew I couldn't put off their departure. They needed to go back home, and I wished I could go with them. But I couldn't. I had a new life, and I had to come to terms with the situation I hated, but it was mine… only mine.

My parents left the day after the roof was finished. I stood there on the porch, waving at them, as they drove away. Louise was behind me, motionless, seeing them go. Saying goodbye to my mother had been totally painful. She was the person I loved most in this life, and now we would be living apart. When would we meet again? I wondered as I kept waving at the moving wagon. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see my parents… alive.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 12**

"I'm really sorry for what happened to your folks, son," Teaspoon said, interrupting Kid's narration.

The Southerner nodded sullenly as Noah asked, "What happened?"

Kid and Teaspoon shared a look, and when the younger man did not reply, the marshal added, "Remember the terrible massacre of the Overland stagecoach about a month and a half ago? That gang killed everybody, the driver, the passengers…it was terrible."

"My parents were on that coach," Kid whispered.

"Oh Kid, I'm so sorry," Rachel exclaimed, voicing all the riders' shared feelings.

Kid nodded, smiling sadly. "Thanks."

"It incenses my soul to think those barbarians are free!" Teaspoon exclaimed furiously. He had tried to track down the gang for many weeks, but they had got away from him. They must have fled to another state, or even to Mexico. That particular event infuriated the marshal beyond reason. All those poor people had savagely been killed, and the worst was that those criminals hadn't got the gold they expected to get their hands on. That stagecoach was supposed to carry a shipment of gold to Saint Joseph, but the cargo had been delayed, and the stagecoach had left empty. Those bandits did not know that, and those innocent people had been killed for nothing.

There was a sepulchral silence in the bunkhouse. Nobody dared to talk, because there was nothing to be said. Every one of the riders had lost their parents at some point in their young lives, and with Kid's tragic loss their thoughts went out to their parents, and the pain that accompanied them constantly. After a few seconds, Kid's voice resounded again as he continued his story.

* * *

When I opened the door just twenty-four hours after my parents had gone, I never thought the world was about to change for me. Teaspoon stood before me, and not without difficulty he slapped me with the most terrible news. For a moment I couldn't react. I heard a gasp behind me, which I knew came from Louise, but I remained totally passive. In a second the world passed before my eyes like a flash, and I thought I was gonna fall flat on my face. The pain was so big that I could physically feel it. My chest was hurting, I couldn't breathe properly, and my heart was pounding so strongly that I thought it would stop at any moment. Teaspoon was still talking, but I couldn't make out the words he was uttering. I could just see his mouth move, and it was when he rested a hand on my shoulder that I snapped out of my stupor.

"I know this is difficult, but I need you to come with me. You… you… you need to identify the bodies."

I nodded, and my eyes moistened. This couldn't be happening. Just the day before I had laughed with them, talked to them, hugged them… How could they be gone forever? It couldn't be possible.

As I started to follow Teaspoon, I heard steps behind me. I stopped, turned around, and came face to face with Louise. "You stay here," I said in an authoritative tone.

"But…"

"I don't want to see anybody… and least of all, you."

I didn't pause to hear her answer, and I just dashed out. I couldn't have her around right then. My soul was in turmoil, and the last thing I needed was her presence reminding me of everything that was wrong in my life. As soon as I was out of the house, she was out of my mind. It was already too crowded with more important things. As I rode to town, I hoped against hope that this was just a mistake. Maybe my parents weren't dead… maybe they hadn't taken the stagecoach for some reason… maybe this was just a macabre joke. But no, it wasn't a joke or a mistake. It was true… a terrible truth, and apart from the pain ripping my heart, on those days I felt the loneliest man on the surface of earth.

I don't remember much about what happened at the time. Everything is blurred in my head, and I have the sensation that I just moved along automatically, but I didn't feel like a person… rather a shadow. The first memory I have from those days was the funeral. It was a very small event. Nobody knew us here, and it was very sad that my parents had to be buried in a strange land… away from their home. Coming to the west had always been my dream, and I had often fantasized about moving here, but the dream had crashed miserably. I've only had bad experiences: joining my life to a woman I don't love, learning that my brother was a criminal, and… the worst and most painful ordeal, losing my parents in such a horrid way.

As I stood before their graves, I heard Louise behind me. She was sniffing and crying. I wasn't really myself then, and the littlest thing upset me, and triggered my annoyance. And she irritated me. I didn't know why she had come to the funeral in the first place. She didn't belong there, and I hated to think that she was playing a part, pretending, which chipped away my very real pain. I remained silent, just hearing the minister's words, but not actually listening to them. Like I've said, I just remember random moments of those days, especially my own sensations.

Back in my house I practically dragged my body into the living room, and dropped on the sofa. I just sat there, looking blankly at an empty space for I'm not sure how long. I heard steps coming closer, and I cringed mentally. I just wanted to be left alone, and my irritation soared when I heard her voice.

"I know it's a stupid question, but how… how are you?"

I looked up. She was standing under the threshold of the door, and then I said the most horrible thing I've ever uttered in my life. I hated myself for that, and I still regret it today with all my heart. The words came out of my mouth in a rush, and I guess deep down I felt them as true. "My parents would still be alive if we hadn't come here."

The way I uttered that sentence was clear enough, and by her expression I could tell she had understood what I had implied. Her mouth opened in shock, and then I saw her face transform from astonishment to sheer anger. Her brown eyes were shining, and when she talked, her body was trembling. It was the first time I had seen some kind of reaction in her, and that change surprised me. "Look, Mister!" she exclaimed angrily, pointing an accusing finger at me. "It wasn't me who came following the scent of my father's money! You have no right to hurl those terrible accusations at me! You came here willingly, happy to lay your hands on the big money… on the piece of cake my father presented you! So don't you dare blame me because I won't allow you!"

I felt ashamed of myself. That had been very low of me, and she was right. I had no reason to imply something that I knew wasn't true. I wanted to apologize, but I just kept staring at her dumbfounded. And when I saw her turn to walk out, I blurted out, "I'm leaving." Louise stopped, looked back at me in curiosity, and I repeated, "I'm leaving for Virginia… tomorrow."

She stared at me impassively, shrugged her shoulders in indifference, and then she just walked out.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13**

I left very early the following morning. I hadn't seen Louise again after our fight, and I didn't say goodbye. There was nothing I could tell her, and I really longed to feel liberated from that place. It suffocated me, and as soon as I started riding, the sensation of freedom was overwhelming. The loss of my parents and everything else that had happened to me naturally weighed on my spirit, but I felt different now. It is difficult to explain, but I was totally relieved.

When I first decided to go back to Virginia, I didn't know what my definite plans were. I hadn't thought if I would return to Rock Creek. I just wanted to sort out my parents' matters. I knew that since my parents were dead, there was no danger now. If somebody found the body in the field, nothing would happen. Actually, that was not really true. People would start making assumptions, talk, soil my mother's good name. It wouldn't be right. My mother had always been a good woman all her life, sacrificing herself for her family. Could I allow her memory to be sullied? I know she didn't do good when she killed that man, but I couldn't run the risk of anybody finding out. After the way she had died, she didn't deserve to be remembered by just that terrible point in her life. Naturally, people might not accuse her, and think it was my father's doing, but the shadow of suspicion would always hover over her.

I couldn't allow that. My pain was already too sharp, and thinking that even dead, somebody might harm my mother made me hurt even more. That would not happen as long as I was alive. I would sort out my father's outstanding matter. I would buy the house back, and then I'll try to find that body, and get rid of it. I had to do this for my ma. I felt very strong about it.

After that, I didn't have any plans. I felt tempted to remain in Virginia forever. There was nothing that joined me to Louise, and I'm sure she hated me. I had been the most horrible husband in just those few days, and I felt I couldn't be better. Yet, disappearing was not the way I usually act. I would hate myself for that. Despite my lack of feelings for my wife, I had to admit she didn't deserve that dirty trick. She had treated me with respect, and I believed I couldn't do less. So in that long journey I kept thinking about the best way to proceed. It wasn't right to break my marriage when I had used the money to solve my problems. But it wasn't right either to stay married for the wrong reasons. We had nothing in common. I would return and talk to her. She seemed to be a sensible woman, and I could reason with her. I couldn't give her the husband she hoped for or wanted. I was sure she'd agree with me, and then we could talk to her father. I would have used the money he gave us as a dowry to pay back the house, but I could do anything to repay him. I would work all my life if need be.

I put this matter at the back of my mind, and tried not to think about it. Before making a decision, or thinking about the details, I had to deal with the more urgent issue. I had to reach Manassas, and do my duty to my parents. I have to say that all those days on the trail did me a whole lot of good. I came to terms with my own reality. I had nobody. I was alone, and I needed to learn to live with my new circumstances. I decided not to rush. I took my time, enjoying the journey, and giving myself the chance to think about everything.

When I finally reached my destination, the stars were already shining. I headed for my old house to spend the night there. As I opened the door and let myself inside, I felt strange. Being here without my parents was very unsettling. I could almost feel their presence, almost hoping to see my mother busy in the kitchen, or hear my father's heavy steps. Yet, everything was silent, and the familiar smells were gone. I could only feel the air full of dust, a reminder of all the time the house had been empty. I was very tired, and went to my old bed where I crashed straightaway.

The following day I went to the bank. It was easy enough. Like John had said, I just had to say his name, and the money was mine. I stared at the bunch of dollars in my hand with disgust. Because of this money, I had sacrificed my freedom, and my parents had died… Just for this darn money. I wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. So I dashed to the tavern where I knew I would find the man who was the legal owner of our property. I scanned the place, but I couldn't find him. I knew he was a regular in the establishment, but he wasn't here. I asked the bartender, and he told me that Morgan – that was the fella's name – was out of town for some business, and would be back sometime that week.

As I left the tavern, I cursed my luck under my breath. I wanted to forget about this issue, but I'd have to wait a few more days before I could do just that. And now what? I asked myself as I stood in the street. Only one name came up to my mind. Doritha. I wanted to see her… check to see she was fine. I hadn't thought about her a lot lately. It was as my mind refused to remember her, because it hurt too much to acknowledge she wasn't mine… and would never be. Maybe it was a bad idea to find her, but I just needed to see her. I know I was a married man, and I would never do anything against the vows I had sworn even though I hadn't meant them. I was a gentleman, and a man of honor. I couldn't be in Manassas and not see Doritha. It would hurt, I knew that, but my desires were stronger.

I rode to her place, a beautiful house on the outskirts. As I stood before her door, waiting, I felt very nervous. The last time we had seen each other was almost two months ago, and I wondered what had changed. Was she engaged to be married? I knew her father was pressing her to choose a husband, and I imagined she had relented. My intention was not to disrupt whatever was going on in her life. I just wanted to talk, and see her… that's all, even though it broke my heart.

When the door opened, I was surprised. Instead of their maid, I found Mr. Simmons in front of me. The man was clearly taken aback by my presence. "Kid, boy, I thought you were miles away from here."

"I was…" I replied, both of us standing at the door. "I came to sort out some matters of my parents. They… they suffered an incident, and passed away." I didn't want to go into detail about the circumstances of how my parents had died. I didn't want to talk about that because I just couldn't.

"Oh my goodness… I'm very sorry to hear that," Mr. Simmons said.

"Thanks," I replied quickly. "I came to ask you if it would be possible to see Doritha. I want to say hi."

The man paused, and looked at me with a strange expression. "I'm afraid she isn't here now."

"Oh…" I let out in disappointment. Like many other times, I hoped to be asked to wait for her inside, but when the man didn't say anything else, I added, "Please could you tell her I called on her?"

"Of course," Mr. Simmons said. "I'll tell her. And glad to see you."

"Thanks," I just replied, and as I rode away, I had the feeling that there was something strange about Mr. Simmons. I didn't know what it was, but I found out soon.

* * *

The following days fell into a routine. Every morning I rode to town hoping that Morgan was back, and when I checked he was still away, I returned to the house. It was then that I started a grievous task. I wanted to find the remains of the man my mother had killed. Maybe it wasn't right… Sure it wasn't right, but I wanted to erase my mother's shame from earth. It wasn't easy at all. Our field wasn't too big, but as I dug inch by inch, it seemed gigantic. I didn't know where my father had buried the body, but I intended to find it even though it took me ages. I wondered why my father had never tried to get rid of the only evidence that might point out my parents' guilt in that murder. Then I remembered those terrible years of my childhood in which my father had just been a drunkard, and never cared about his family… much less about anything else.

I hadn't heard from Doritha yet, and I wondered why. Maybe her father hadn't told her about my visit for some reason, but despite my suspicions, I tried to wait, and give him the benefit of the doubt. She might show up one of these days. I wouldn't push things, and when I sorted out the matter about the house, I'd go find her again. Not rushing to see her was not easy; it took all my willpower to stay put, but I told myself that I had to do one thing at a time. I had to get rid of my worries first, and then I'd be in a better mood.

It was on the fourth day that I finally saw Morgan. He was in the tavern, playing poker like it was his custom, and I went up to him. Morgan looked up at me, and I said, "I came here to sort out our business."

The man glanced at me with a strange expression. He looked confused, and even apprehensive. For a moment I thought he didn't know who I was, and I pressed him. "It's about the property you won from my father," I added after that pause. "Can we talk in private?"

Morgan seemed reluctant, but finally he rose to his feet, and in silence we both moved to another table. He ordered a bottle of whisky, and I declined when he offered me a drink. I wanted to get down to business, and be done with this as soon as possible. "I have the money," I said without a preamble. "This is the amount you agreed to with my father," I added, placing the dollars on the table.

Morgan stared at me, looking as if I was playing a joke on him. His eyes darted to the money, and he even licked his lips as if he was before a succulent dish. "Where… where's your father?" he asked.

"That doesn't matter," I replied curtly. "You have to deal with me. Take your money."

With trembling hands the man grabbed the money, and quickly shoved them into his jacket pocket. "The house is yours then," he said. He started to get up from his chair, but I stopped him.

"Not so quick. Where are the deeds of the property?"

"The deeds?" he echoed in obvious confusion.

"The documents that state the ownership of the house. You have to give them to me," I explained.

"I don't have anything!" the man exclaimed. "Your father must have 'em!"

That didn't make any sense. Only the person who owned a place could have them. If my father had lost the rights to our property, he must have given Morgan the deeds. Otherwise, there was no reason for us to leave our home. I didn't believe Morgan, and I thought he was trying to trick me. Nervous as I was, I grabbed him by the collar forcefully, attracting the curiosity of everybody in the tavern at that moment. "Don't play with me, and give me the deeds!"

"I swear I don't have them!" the man exclaimed loudly over and over again.

I didn't want to let him go, but alarmed by our loud voices, the owner of the place came, and pulled us apart with the help of the bartender, threatening with calling the authorities if we didn't calm down. As soon as I released him, Morgan scurried away like a cowardly coyote, and I cursed him under my breath. That weasel was tricking me, but what I didn't know at that moment was that his deceit was very different from what I thought.

I was livid, and I was ready to report him. That money meant more to me than paying a debt. Because of that money, I was married to a woman I didn't love, and my parents had died. I couldn't allow that rat to fool us and then keep the house as well. Before going to the sheriff, I had to make sure he was lying. My father couldn't have had the deeds of our property. He couldn't… I knew as much.

I rode Katy at full gallop, faster than I had ever done, and I jumped off her before she had stopped. I rushed into the house, and I started looking, fully aware that my search would be fruitless. I rummaged in every cabinet, closet, and drawer in the house, but there was nothing. I knew that from the beginning, but I had to be certain. I ended my hunting in a little shed my father used to deal with his matters in when he still cared enough to farm the fields. In the shed there was a desk. I opened every drawer. I found empty bottles of whisky, all kinds of knick-knacks, and very old bills. There was a drawer I couldn't open. It was locked. I knew there wasn't anything there either, but I was curious, and I wanted to know what he had hidden there to have it locked.

I didn't have a key, but with the help of a knife, I managed to turn the lock, and open the drawer. Inside I found letters, and some papers. I took everything out, and to my astonishment I found out that the papers were actually the deeds to our property. I was speechless. That didn't make sense at all. If my father had the deeds, there was nothing legal that stated that Morgan had won the house. I didn't understand. I even remembered when Morgan came one day, claiming that the house was his, and we had to be evicted. If the deeds were here all the time, why did my father allow him to scare us like that?

I was furious, and I didn't understand a thing. Or maybe I didn't want to understand. I wished my father were here, and I could ask. There must be an explanation. This didn't make sense… at all, I kept repeating as I stared at the papers in my trembling hands. Angry, I dropped the deeds, and as I looked down to the discarded document, the letters that lay next to it drew my attention. There were three of them, and curious I picked one.

On the back of the envelope I read the name of the sender. It was John Boggs, my father-in-law. Checking the three of them, I realized that they all came from the same man. I didn't know why I was so curious, but I had the hunch that those letters contained something I had to read. Now I wish I had burned them, but I read them. I still remember the written words because I couldn't believe their content so I read them many times, hoping that I had misunderstood them, but no… unfortunately that wasn't the case.

The first one went straight to the point. After the formal greetings, John Boggs told my father the following: _Remember that matter I helped you with years ago… you know, that unwanted "crop" in your field? I think you do. You told me then you owed me big time, and would do anything to thank me. Seems the occasion has arisen. I now need a favor… a big favor, and I think you can help me. For reasons nobody needs to know, my eldest daughter isn't eligible for marriage. A woman always needs a husband, and you have two sons. Don't you think it would be good for both of us to join our families? Of course I'm ready to show you my appreciation generously if you accept my proposition. You know, no_ _harsh feelings if you refuse, but I'm really counting on you._

The letter finished with a figure… the number of dollars I was supposed to cost. I was more confused than ever. There was no mention of my father's problem with the poker game, and as I read the date of the letter, I noticed it had been written many months before the deed happened. I was starting to see clear for the first time in a long time. I didn't even dare to think about the possibility that my father had tricked me, but I knew it was true. Of course I didn't know what my father had replied. So I picked up the following letter, dated a month after the first one.

_I see you still have a good eye, and know when you can't pass up a golden opportunity. I'm really glad you've accepted my proposition. I didn't expect any less from you, but please don't get me involved in your family problems. What you can tell your family is up to you. If you want to concoct a story instead of being straight with them, as I think you should, that's your business. It's not my concern, but I won't judge you for that. I didn't judge you when you came to me for help. I was very discreet, and nobody even knew I was there, not even your wife even if she was responsible of that 'crop'._

By now I was trembling. I had been fooled… there was no debt to pay, no poker game, no ghost threat over our house. My father had made that up because he was selling me to his friend. He only wanted the money. I and my mother had fallen for that. The third letter just explained some instructions, everything we were supposed to do when we reached the west. What I was feeling then was indescribable. To say I was furious, and distraught was nothing compared to the powerful feelings emanating in me. I wanted to cry, shout, and yell against everything, and everybody. It wasn't fair… It wasn't fair. I started to sob as I hadn't done for a long time, and without being aware of my own actions, I started running out of the house like a wild man, towards the field… the place that had started my ruin and my total misery.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14**

I was crazy with pain, humiliation, and disappointment. My father… the man I had thought had changed in the last few weeks had stabbed me in the back… betrayed me… proved to me that I was nothing to him but a commodity to trade with. The truth was there in those letters, and the words resounded in my head like a horrible mantra. I was beside myself with pain, and even though the evidence in those letters was clear enough, my mind refused to believe it. Now as I remember that moment, I know I acted like a mad man.

Bolting out of my house, I ran to the field, and with trembling hands I picked up the shovel I had been using in the past few days. I started digging around frantically. I don't know what for. There was no body buried there. John Boggs had helped my father to dispose of it… it was in the letters… everything was in the letters. Yet, I kept digging, not caring whether I was seen. In the previous day I'd tried to be discreet, but now I didn't bother. I spent hours and hours digging, my hands were sore, and blistered, but I couldn't feel anything. The pain in my heart was stronger, quashing anything else. There were so many questions in my head, and the only person who could answer me was dead. Why had my father kept quiet about John's intervention? My mother was certain the body was still in the fields. Why hadn't he told her? Was it because that knowledge gave him some kind of power over my mother? Was it because the body in the field helped him to tie my ma down to him? I don't know the reason, but I hated him for letting my mother be tortured by that knowledge all these years.

I don't remember a lot about that day, and the next thing I was aware of was the morning sun falling over my figure, and waking me up. I slept there in the fields. I don't know how or when I had stopped digging, and fallen asleep. As I became aware of my surroundings, and the previous day's events, the pain returned full force. For a moment I didn't move, and then a sudden thought struck me. My father wasn't the only one who had deceived me. Morgan had taken money that didn't belong to him because he had never owned our house. No wonder he had acted so confused and weird when I handed him the money. I imagined my father had paid him so that he could make the deceit more real. They faked it so well that I never thought there was anything fishy there. I'm so naïve sometimes!

I knew I couldn't allow myself to be fooled twice. I would find Morgan and take the money back, and then I would return it to John Boggs along with his daughter. My father was dead, and the agreement was off. I had to find Morgan. So after getting rid of the dust and soil covering my body, I galloped to town. Like the day before I headed for the saloon, but he wasn't there. I asked the bartender where I could find him. He was reluctant to tell me, but I finally managed to get it out of him. He told me where he lived, and I sprinted towards the place. It wasn't far away, and when I found myself there, I pounded my fist on the wooden door over and over again. There was no answer, and as I continued knocking, I urged him to open the door. I knew it wouldn't be easy to get the money from him, and I feared he had already spent some of it.

Because of the ruckus I was making, a middle-aged lady came out of the room next door. She asked me what I wanted, and then much to my chagrin she told me she was Morgan's landlady, and yesterday he had paid off everything he owed, and had left. Needless to say, the woman didn't know where he had gone to, but I suspected he wouldn't return. I thanked her, and started walking back with a heavy heart. What was I supposed to do now? I could try to track Morgan down, but by the time I located him, he'd have spent all the money. I was feeling totally lost. Could things get any worse? Yes… they could, and I soon found out.

As I trundled along, I got a very pleasant surprise. Despite everything, I couldn't help smiling when I saw Doritha walking from the other direction. I almost ran the last few feet to meet her. "Kid…" she whispered softly when I stood before her.

"I'm so glad to see you!" I exclaimed truthfully. "Didn't your father tell you I called on you?"

"Uh… yes," she replied in the same soft tone.

And then a voice nearby added, "But we've been busy."

I then realized that my friend Garth was next to her. I greeted him with a firm shake of hands as I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't see you. How are you, Garth?"

"Never been better," he replied with a crooked smile. "And what are you doing here? I thought you'd be living countless adventures in the west."

"I had to sort out some of my parents' matters," I replied.

"We heard what happened to them," Doritha rejoined. "I'm really sorry."

"Thanks," I replied. "It's been very hard." I locked eyes with Doritha, and we kept gazing at each other for a while.

"Is your wife here with you?" Garth asked me, breaking the moment.

I shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably. It was awkward to talk about my marriage in front of Doritha. We were both aware of the reality, of course, but talking about it was actually disagreeable. "Uh… no… she… she stayed at home," I stuttered.

"Such a shame!" Garth exclaimed. "We could have celebrated our marriages."

His words confused me, and as I looked from him to Doritha, I realized the truth. She had her arm hooked around his, and they were a bit too close to appear in public if they were just friends. "So… so… you and Doritha?" I asked, almost choking on my own words.

"Almost a month of sheer bliss," Garth beamed, and I could tell he was trying to gloat before me. He knew what I and Doritha had been, and he clearly wanted to show she was now off limits.

I glanced at Doritha, who looked very uncomfortable. "Congratulations then. I'm happy for you two," I said in a voice which showed I was anything but happy.

"Thanks, Kid," Garth replied. "I'm very lucky to have such a wonderful wife. And we're hoping we can start our own family soon… as soon as possible."

His words turned my stomach as the meaning behind them was clear. It hurt terribly to think she and another man were intimate. I have known all along that she would marry, but I never thought it would be so soon after I left, and Garth none the less. It wasn't really surprising, because Garth had always been jealous of me and Doritha, and unlike me, his family was very well off. The knowledge didn't make my pain lessen. I didn't want to think of them together. Naturally, I had no right to feel like that. I was married myself, even though I hadn't laid a finger on my wife, and Doritha would never refuse to do her duty. I don't know if she loves Garth, and I don't think it matters now. I just know that was the end … the total end. Our story was dead now… dead and buried even though my heart still beats for her… even now.

I couldn't bear talking to them anymore, so I bid my leave, and went away. As I rode back to my parents' house, I knew there was nothing that tied me there anymore. I had no family, no relations, and no friends. Seeing Doritha had made me realize I had to break free. Not that something would happen with her, but I couldn't stay here while I had a wife in the west. Leaving Louise high and dry was never my intention, but I had considered the possibility of moving back here when I had sorted out my marriage. Now I was sure I couldn't return. There was nothing to return to. Even my parents were buried in Rock Creek. I had to say goodbye to my old life in Virginia, and start afresh in the west. That was what I have always wanted, and I'd try to do that. So I finally sold the house… the place where I had been born and grown… a house that held a few pleasant memories, but the bad ones outnumbered them until the very last times. Since I was eager to leave, I sold the place quite cheaply. I didn't care now. I wanted to leave, and as I finally set off and started my way back to Rock Creek, I wondered what was going to happen with me and Louise. And right then I didn't know.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15**

Ten days after my arrival in Virginia I was on my way back to Rock Creek. I tried to forget everything that had happened to me in those days, but it wasn't an easy task to do. My thoughts always crept back to that place I wished I could ignore.

I unwillingly kept replaying my encounter with Doritha. It had been so awkward. I knew her, and I could tell she had been too embarrassed. It was logical, and I couldn't blame her. Her wedding was hardly surprising; I had always known her father expected her to marry into a well-off family. What I found strange was how soon after I had left she and Garth had married. Social propriety dictates that a man should court a woman for at least six months before he asks for the girl's hand. The suddenness of Doritha's marriage must have set tongues wagging. Often that haste means that the woman had got into trouble. Of course not in Doritha's case.

Well, I have to admit that as soon as the idea crossed my mind, I hesitated. I remembered what Garth had said about wanting to have a family soon. An evil thought crept in my head. A shameful thought. I guess all the disappointments and shocks I had had lately made me suspicious of everybody. Could it be possible…? No, it couldn't be. Doritha couldn't have played a double game. That wasn't in her nature. She was good and generous, and I knew that what we had was real, so I forced the thought out of my mind.

Even though learning about Doritha's marriage hurt me, I was not as shaken as I thought. This was something I knew was coming sooner or later, and my discovery was not so shocking after all. Besides, the moment I had first left Virginia, I started a long road to come to terms with the fact that Doritha wasn't mine, and could never be mine. I had walked a long distance since then, so I imagine that since I had already tasted the bitterness of defeat, my mouth was used to its flavor.

What really bugged me and tortured me was the thought of what my father had done. That had hurt too much, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Silly me, I had believed that my father had changed in his last days. I had thought that, despite everything, he cared for his family, and he'd been a victim of a terrible event in the past. And now it turned out that I'd been right all along, and my mother and I had been the victims of a heartless man. How could anybody be so selfish? Didn't he care for us? He had woven the perfect web in which I and my mother had been trapped. I had fallen for his lies about the house, and he had made my ma pay for her mistake all her life. He had held the power over her, submitted her to his wishes, knowing she would do anything, even convince me to go along with the wedding he had arranged.

I arrived in Rock Creek when the sun was ready to take its leave. After long days of riding in all kinds of weather and terrain, I was tired, dusty, and hungry. Yet, instead of steering Katy to my house straightaway, I took a detour. I needed to do something… to see somebody.

I patted Katy's neck thankfully as I eased off her. With a sigh and slow steps, I walked into the fenced cemetery, and stood before my parents' graves. The earth had settled since the last time I had been there, evidence of the passing of time, and there were fresh flowers at the foot of each cross marking the tombs. I knelt in front of my mother's grave, said a little prayer, and once again the pain of losing her hit me overwhelmingly.

When I had calmed down, I rose to my feet, wiped my tears with the back of my hand, and as my eyes fell on my father's grave, my pain soared and my anger ignited. Suddenly, I started talking loudly as if he was just in front of me. "Why, father? Why did you do it? You fooled us, tricked us… just for a bunch of money. Was my life worth so little? Was I just a toy for you… only an object you could trade with? Thanks to you, I have a life I don't want, and it's not all about me… there's another person, a person who doesn't deserve to be tied to me when I can't be a proper husband? Did you ever think of that? Of course not. You just thought about you and you alone. You didn't care about me or ma… only you. I found out about your little trick, and I'm broken inside because I just realized what I never wanted to see."

I don't know how long I was there, but it was pitch black when I headed for my place. There was no moon that night, and I could hardly see Katy's outline under me. When I reached the property, I slowed down. There was total silence except for the crickets that resounded in the distance. Suddenly, in the quiet of the night a husky voice rose loudly. "Don't you dare come any closer, or I'll shoot!"

Surprised, I stopped Katy. The voice came from the porch of my house, and I squinted my eyes to locate who had talked. There was a lamp hanging next to the front door, casting its light on the person from behind. I could just see an outline. It was a man, small in size, and as true to his words, he had a gun pointing in my direction. A big hat covered his head, and I couldn't see nothing much. I wondered who he was, and panicked, thinking that something might have happened to Louise.

"Look, Mister…" I started, but the noise of a gun going off stopped me, and almost at the same time I felt the bullet brush against my right hand.

"I'm serious. Go away, or I'll kill you!"

Of course I couldn't leave, especially without knowing what had happened to Louise. "I ain't leaving! This place belongs to me, and I want to know where my wife is!"

My eyes kept fixed on the man threatening me, and then I saw him lower his gun. As he shifted his position, the light of the lamp illuminated his face, and then I saw that he wasn't a he… he was my wife, and her unenthusiastic, soft voice added, "Oh it's you. You're back."

I slid off Katy, tethered her to the post, and came closer. Louise was wearing men's clothes, pants and too wide a jacket for her petite figure. "What's the matter? Are you disappointed?" I asked.

She didn't reply, and simply walked back into the house. I followed her. She had taken her hat off, and I felt curious. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked, but once again I didn't get an answer. She was just looking at me, and I added lightly, "You know, in that attire I should call you Lou, instead of Louise."

I thought she would keep quiet as well, but instead she said, "You can call me whatever you want. You're my husband."

Somehow her words made me feel uncomfortable. I don't know why, but somehow I had the impression that what she said had nothing to do with the person she was. This was like a façade that hid her true nature from I don't know what. We stood there in silence for a few seconds, and then I asked, "Who taught you to shoot like that?" I was pretty sure that when the bullet had brushed my hand, it had been on purpose. I didn't know how she had done something like that. It was dark, and it surprised me even more. I had never known of a woman who could really use a gun.

Louise just shrugged her shoulders, not answering my question, and then she asked, "Would you like some dinner?"

"Don't worry. I'm fine. I'll grab a bite and…" I replied, but I didn't get to finish because she didn't wait for me to end the sentence. She just turned on her heel, and disappeared up the stairs, leaving me in the hall alone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16**

The following morning I woke up, feeling disoriented, and it took me a few seconds to be aware of my surroundings. In the last month or so I had woken up in a different place every day: Seneca, Rock Creek, Virginia, and different spots on the way from my hometown to Nebraska. Little by little, I realized I was in my bed… the bed in my new home… a bed I had only slept in a few nights.

After washing up and getting dressed, I made my way downstairs. I curiously snooped around, expecting to find Louise, but there was nobody. I slid into the kitchen. There was a pot with hot coffee on the table, and a plate with corn bread and boiled eggs. I poured myself a cup of coffee, and dared to grab some of the viands from the plate. I was so hungry that I ate every single crumb. When I finished, I decided to walk outside.

As I stood on the porch, my eyes swept across the property. There was something different from the last time I had been here. The fields were clean, the thick shrubbery and the weeds that had covered the earth were gone. The fence that surrounded the little corral next to the stables, which used to have missing planks weeks ago, now stood flawless. I stepped off the porch, and I scanned the house, whose walls and shutters gleamed as the sunlight reflected on their freshly-painted surface.

As I stood there, a murmur resounded behind me. I turned round, and found Louise there. "Good morning," I said, and she whispered a soft greeting. "Can I ask you something?" Louise didn't answer, and just stared at me questioningly. "Who did you hire to clean the fields and do the rest of the repairs?"

"Nobody… I did everything myself," she replied.

I can't say that didn't surprise me. I had the idea that she was a rich, spoiled girl, who was used to having everything done for her. Maybe I had misjudged her, and she was more than that. I could tell she wasn't making that up because now in the morning light I could see that her face was tanned because of the many hours working under the sun. My eyes moved from her face, and noticed she was holding a pail full of fresh milk. She guessed my silent question, and added, "We now have a cow, and some hens." After a brief pause, she added, "Our neighbor is Mrs. Frank. Her husband died recently, and she couldn't tend so many animals. I bought the cow and the hens quite cheap. And I get some cash from the extra milk and eggs I don't need. Mr. Tompkins, the general store keeper, buys them from me."

"I'm impressed," I remarked truthfully.

Louise shrugged, disregarding my words. "I didn't know you were coming, and I had to do something to survive here on my own."

"And you definitely did a good job," I replied admiringly. Lou didn't answer, and even though my situation and position here were a bit unclear, I said, "I should do my share too. So I'll start preparing the fields for sowing today." I don't know why I said that. My intention was to talk to her about our awkward situation, but do something about it. Yet, I thought I couldn't blurt out everything just now. I would have to find the right time, and we could talk about it quietly and in a civil way. This wasn't the moment, and I felt after all her work I had to do something for her. I wasn't sure what she thought about this marriage of ours. Would she be difficult and force me to stick to this arrangement? I imagine she was a sensible girl, and couldn't think why she wanted to continue in this pantomime. We had a right to be free from our fathers' maneuver, and have a say in our lives. Money could buy the world, but I couldn't allow John Boggs to become the owner of my will.

* * *

I spent the whole day in the field. In the shed I found the plough. It was a bit old, and there was rust splotched over the sharp surface of its blade. For the moment that would have to make do. I hitched the plough to the mule, and then headed for the fields. The task proved to be harder than usual. Since the land apparently had been left fallow for many years, a hard crust had grown on the surface, which made the ploughing harder, so I had to use all my strength to stick the plough on the soil.

The hard work helped me to clear my head, and momentarily forget about everything that had happened lately. Fortunately, the sky was overcast today, protecting the land below from the merciless sunrays. Even so, I was covered in sweat. Around midday, I saw Louise come towards where I was. "Your lunch," she curtly said as she left a small basket on a fallen trunk on the edge of the field.

I stopped the mule, and walked towards her. "Thank you," I said with a smile, and sat down on the trunk to eat my lunch. "Did you already have your lunch?" I asked, and she just nodded.

Louise didn't talk for a while, and then out of the blue she said, "I'll carry on your job while you eat. You can even have a little nap afterwards if you want, and I'll stay here working."

Of course I protested, but she ignored me completely. Maybe she didn't even hear me because as soon as she had her say, she walked to the mule, and started the work. I called her to stop, but she didn't even look my way. She was stubborn, I could guess as much. So I just remained there, filling my stomach while my wife worked. Not the thing I was used to. From the way she moved the plough, it was clear she had never done this before, but it was true that she was strong in comparison to her small size. I have to admit that she kept surprising me with every bit I got to know her.

Needless to say, I didn't take the nap she suggested, and as soon as I finished my lunch, I took over from her at the plough. I thanked her, and I even cracked a silly joke, but again she didn't talk or smile. She simply nodded seriously, and walked back to the house.

It was around six that I finished, and after taking care of the mule, and putting the implements away, I headed for the house. I had a bath, and when I walked down the staircase, Louise was standing in the lounge, as if waiting for something. When she saw me appear, she asked, "Would you like your dinner now?"

"That would be nice," I said, and as I walked to the table, I realized that everything was set for dinner. Two plates, glasses, and the cutlery, placed on both ends of the table. Lou returned from the kitchen, and served the soup she had cooked. She sat down opposite me, and as we started eating, I tried to engage her in light conversation, but she just answered with monosyllables. Obviously, she wasn't interested in chatting. Tonight I wanted to speak to her about our situation, and I thought I would break the ice first by talking about trivial things. That didn't work, though, and I kept quiet, following her example. It was when we were eating the casserole that followed the soup that I thought it was time to tackle the matter.

"Lou, I think we need to talk," I started, unconsciously using the name I had dubbed her the day before. She looked up at me, and I continued, "I'm not sure what your father told you about the arrangement he and my father agreed for our marriage." I paused, expecting her to say something, but when she kept quiet, I carried on, "When I was in Virginia, I found out my father had deceived me… tricked me with lies. I'm sorry to say this, Louise, but I didn't want this marriage at all."

"I know," she whispered.

"Lou, this was a mistake, and we need to do something about this situation. There are ways to get out of this marriage. Of course I don't want to harm you in any way, honestly, and I'm well aware what a hasty divorce would mean for a woman and her reputation. So I've thought we could let some time pass… wait a few months, for propriety's sake. I'll talk to your father, and I'm ready to repay the money he gave my pa. If I manage to sell the harvest next spring, I'll be able to give him a part, and then I can reach an agreement to pay him the rest little by little." I stopped. Louise kept looking at me, but the expression of her face didn't give anything away. I don't know if she agreed with me, or if my words upset her. "And don't get me wrong, Lou. I don't know you, and I'm sure you're a great woman, but for me marriage is something more than what my father arranged for me. I should never have agreed, and I'm really sorry you will be affected by all this." I gave her an awkward smile, but she kept serious, just looking at me. I was feeling uncomfortable by her silence. I wanted her to say something… anything, so I had to ask her directly. "So what do you say, Louise?"

"Nothing," she simply replied.

"Nothing?"

Louise nodded. "Nothing," she repeated. "Whatever you do or say is fine by me."

Those were her last words that night, and then she just turned her attention to her food, and continued eating. I couldn't understand why she could act so indifferently about something that directly affected her. I had no idea what she felt about all this, whether she was disappointed by my words, or actually she shared my feelings. It was frustrating not to know anything. I'm well aware that my initial attitude to her was more than reproachable, but I was trying to be civil and friendly now. My attempts were not paying off so far. Maybe this awkward personality of hers was the reason why her father thought she would never marry under normal circumstances, but I had the feeling it was more than that. What I did know was that if she was going to act like a piece of ice all this time, the months before my liberation were going to be long… too long indeed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17**

My days from then on were filled with silence, empty, blank silence… it was the only company I had in my routine early in the morning as I woke up to a new day, in the long hours I worked the land under the sun, and in my lonely nights. After the sudden twist my life had taken in the last couple of months, I welcomed the peace and quiet of my solitude, and the comforting warmth of hard work.

Little by little I came to terms with the fact that I had nobody but myself in this world. Everybody who I cared about was gone from my life: Jed, my parents, Doritha… I just had a wife who I didn't love and who didn't love me. And even when I was around her at home, I felt totally alone. Silence didn't seem to bother her. In the evening as we had our dinner, the only sounds between us were the clinking of the cutlery, or the world outside our four walls. At the beginning I tried to make small talk, but when my attempts were met with just brief, cold answers, I gave up. In a way, I was glad I didn't have to pretend. Apparently, she didn't expect me to, and I was thankful for her silent sincerity.

Don't get me wrong. This ain't some concealed criticism. To tell you the truth, I had no complaints about her… rather the opposite. She had proved me wrong, and all my opinions had been knocked down by reality… one by one. She ain't the lazy rich brat I expected her to be. That was as far from the truth as it could be. Louise sure doesn't idle around. When I rise in the morning, she is already up, busy downstairs. She works as much as me… even more. The house is spotless, the food is on the table at the right time, and my clothes are washed, ironed, and ready to use when I need them. Apart from that, she also does her share outside the house. She looks after the animals, cleaning the stables, picking up the eggs, and milking the cow. Then once or twice a week she hitches the wagon, and goes to town for provisions, or to exchange the eggs and the milk for some coins. For the love of God I don't know where she learned to do all that. I knew that since her family had money, she had servants at her beck and call.

That's what I got from the conversations I had with her father in Seneca, because Lou never talks about her life before our marriage… actually, she hardly says a word about anything. I have no idea what my wife is like at all even after weeks of living together. I just know her silences. Yeah, strangely I've learned to make out all the different ways she keeps quiet, and I can tell when she's calm, when she's nervous, when she's sad, when she's content… Maybe it ain't just her silence that gives her away, and it's rather her whole being, but I can really tell. Of course talking about the reason for her different moods is out of the question. She just won't talk.

One night … it was last week… Like usual, after dinner I checked the animals had enough feed and water, and when I returned to the house, the rooms downstairs were deserted. Lou had already gone to bed, which wasn't a surprise at all, and like it is my custom, I settled in the living room for an hour or so. It is the best time of the day, and I love feeling the peacefulness around me. Sometimes I read a book, and other times I just sit in my cozy armchair, watching the flames of the fireplace fighting with each other.

That night my peacefulness was suddenly broken by a deafening roar, which shook the foundations of the house, and I had the impression that the roof would fall on my head at any moment. Thunder growled fiercely, and as I lifted my eyes upwards, I noticed that Lou was standing at the top of the staircase, looking at me with apprehension. "Some thunderstorm we have tonight," I said. "The rain will be good for the crops. It's been too dry for the last couple of weeks." Lou nodded silently, and I asked, "Are you feeling all right?"

"Storms make me feel uneasy," she whispered. The longest sentence I had heard her utter in weeks.

"This one sure sounds frightening," I admitted. After a brief pause, I added, "It won't last too long. Why don't you come and sit with me? We can keep each other company… that might lessen your fears."

She bit her lower lip as if she was stopping the words from going out of her mouth, but then she said, "I… don't think so. It's childish… really. It's just a storm. I better go back to bed. You're right; it won't last."

I didn't contradict her, and she disappeared up the stairs again. Thunder was chaperoned by intense lightning whose flashes lit up the inside of the house as if it were daylight. The roaring sounds of thunder gradually ebbed away, and as rain started pouring, I decided to turn in. The raindrops pelting against the roof over my head kept me awake, and when those soft sounds turned into an insistent drumming, I breathed out relieved. Had the shoots in the field been grown by now, the hail would have destroyed the harvest completely, but fortunately, it was too early for that. I had nothing to worry, and yet, I couldn't be more wrong.

I don't know when I fell asleep that night, but when I woke up the following morning, there was no trace of the terrible storm that had hit us the day before. As I stood before the window, I got the shock of my life. Down in the fields the land was covered by a thick layer of water. Obviously, it had been raining torrentially all night long, and as I stared agape at the landscape out of the window, my mind began to panic. Then I dashed out of my bedroom, flew down the stairs, and stormed outside.

The house and the stables had been saved from the rain since they stood in a steeper position in comparison with the fields. I kept looking at my destroyed hard work crestfallen. Everything was lost; there was not a single patch visible as everything was flooded. All our efforts had gone to waste, and it would take too long for the water to drain and the earth to be ready for sowing again. Frustration and anger hit me, and a curse left my lips in a rush. "Damn it! I'm cursed."

"Yeah, I've been called that before," a voice resounded behind me, and I turned to see Louise. She was looking at me with a strange expression. For a moment her words didn't register in my mind, but when I realized what she was saying, I tried to protest.

"Lou, I didn't mean…"

She didn't give me the chance to finish my sentence as she turned on her heel, and walked back into the house. I don't know why, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea about my comment, so I followed her to the kitchen. She was busy, cooking breakfast like every morning. "Lou," I called her from the threshold, "I think you misunderstood me."

Without turning to me, she muttered, "I'm jinxed."

"What?"

"I'm jinxed," she repeated. "I attract bad luck, and pass it on to others."

I stared at her turned figure with an expression of disbelief. "Please that's just a silly superstition. You don't believe in those things, do you?"

"Tell me about something good that has happened to you since you met me… just one thing… only one," she continued. I kept thoughtful for a while, and as I went through everything that had happened in all this time, I couldn't think of anything to say. Louise then turned round to face me, and gave me an I-told-you kind of smile, and then just left the kitchen. I remained there, deep in thought. It was silly, and I didn't believe in jinx and all that. Some people obviously are more fortunate than others, but that's caused by certain circumstances, and not because of some random whim of the universe called luck. I couldn't believe that, but right then I wondered if that was the reason John Boggs had wanted to get rid of his daughter. Was that the reason why he thought nobody would want her? Was she reputed to be a magnet for misery and misfortune? I was still curious even though the reason didn't really matter. I was already married to her, and her ineligibility for marriage wouldn't change a thing now, but I couldn't help feeling curious. I'm still curious, and I wonder if I'll ever find out what mystery my wife is hiding from me.

* * *

"And that's my story," Kid said as he finished his account. "Well, as I had foreseen, my fields were… are barren now, so I started looking for a job. And here I am."

"Welcome to our family," Teaspoon replied. "We're a close bunch here… and after listenin' to your story, we feel you're one of us already, don't we, boys?"

The riders nodded in unison, and Kid blushed. He realized he might have told them more than he should, but he had no regrets. That was his life, and it felt good to share his worries and dreads with somebody.

"And we'd love to meet your wife," Rachel added. "You should bring her for dinner someday."

"I'll ask her," Kid replied in a low voice.

"Bring her in when I'm not around," Cody remarked. "I'd hate if she rubbed her bad luck onto me. I can't risk losing my charm with the ladies."

"Cody!" Rachel exclaimed aghast.

"Kid, I really understand Cody's worry, actually," Jimmy said. "If his luck with women gets any worse, he'll have to consider becoming a monk."

Everybody laughed at the comment while Cody glared at his friend and said, "Shut up, Hickok!"

"This is one of the things you'll have to get used to round here," Noah added among giggles. "Cody is… well, Cody."

"And you are blessed for knowing me and having me around," the blond rider replied proudly. "I'm the bravest, sharpest, most handsome rider this company…"

"Son, cut it out for once, will you?" Teaspoon broke in, and turning to Kid, he added, "Tomorrow we'll start your little trainin'. You may be the fastest rider, the best shooter, the hardest worker, but in this Pony Express business you need to be as sharp as nails. I'll show you my bag of tricks, and you'll be fine."

Kid nodded. "Thanks. I guess I'll go home now."

He started rising to his feet when Rachel said, "Kid… that friend of yours, you know, that girl from Virginia… what's her family name?"

Kid briefly glanced at her, wondering the reason behind her question. "She's Maxwell now, why?"

Rachel got up from her seat, and walked to a cabinet in the corner of the bunkhouse. "Her name rang a bell when you were talking about her. And now I remember why. A letter came a couple of weeks ago. No address, just a couple of initials, and the name of this town. That's not the first time, and sometimes folks come here asking for mail. I remember this letter comes from one Doritha," Rachel explained as she flipped through a pile of letters. "Yes, that's it. Doritha Maxwell. I guess this is for you," she added, stretching the letter towards Kid.

He took the letter from the station mistress's hand, and stared at the familiar handwriting on the envelope in confusion. "Yes, that's from her all right." His eyes kept focused on the letter for a while, afraid and excited at the same time. What did Doritha want to tell him? He had longed for something like this all along, and now that he had the letter in his hands, he hesitated. A murmur of voices snapped him out of his thoughts, and he suddenly became aware of the people around him. He raised his eyes to Rachel, and smiled. "Thank you," he whispered. "I better leave now. It's been a pleasure meeting you all."

"See you tomorrow," Rachel replied, chorused by the rest of the riders.

His mind was in a haze as he walked to the door. All he could think of was the letter in his hands, and what Doritha had to say. He was dying to know, and could not wait to leave the bunkhouse to rip the letter open. His heart was thumping powerfully as he opened the door to let himself out, but he stopped as he heard Teaspoon's voice calling him. Kid cast him a questioning look, and the marshal simply said, "Be careful, son."

His blue eyes gazed into Teaspoon's for a few seconds, understanding the meaning behind his warning, and slowly Kid nodded before finally leaving the bunkhouse, and finding himself in his own company again.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 18**

After Kid left the station, he rode Katy for a while, lost in his own thoughts. Doritha's letter was safely kept in his shirt breast pocket, and strangely he had the impression he could feel her warmth through the fabric. He had been dying to read the words she had written for him, but now he felt weirdly apprehensive.

Over a month had gone by since Kid was last in Virginia, and had that awkward encounter with Doritha and Garth. Since that day, he had thought about her often, wondering if she was all right, how she felt, and if she was happy. He could not reproach anything from her because he had known all along that her father would make her marry sooner or later. After all, he had been the first one to marry somebody else, and a woman's destiny always led to marriage. Kid really hoped Doritha could be happy with Garth. At least, they were good friends, which was something Kid could not say about him and Louise. He guessed that things would be easier if he and Lou could share some friendship, but that was almost impossible as Lou hardly talked to him.

Of course Kid could not put all the blame on his wife. After all, he had been sour and unkind when they had first got married. And then he did not really have much interest in pursuing Lou's friendship if he could be sincere with himself. So it was his fault if things were this awkward between them. Nothing was normal because the way he had got married was peculiar, to say the least. No wonder he was acting so alien, and from the little he had seen, he had the impression Louise was behaving in a strange way too. Kid was sure that she was more than the silent shadow she appeared to be, but this totally outlandish situation made her appear in that odd light to his eyes.

Kid's thoughts returned to Doritha and Garth. He was not surprised Garth had married her. It was no secret that he was infatuated with Doritha, and had blatantly challenged Kid more than once to win the girl's heart. Naturally, there was never a fight because Doritha had been the one to pull the strings, and she had always wanted Kid as her sweetheart. Apparently, Garth had won in the end, and got the girl. The notion was very painful for Kid, but he imagined his old friend and adversary would treat Doritha fine. There were lots of things Kid did not like about Garth: he was presumptuous, selfish, and too proud, but Kid had no reasons to believe he would not give Doritha the good, comfortable life she deserved. The idea that he couldn't be that man filled Kid with bitterness, but there was nothing he could do, and he honestly hoped Doritha was happy.

Kid led Katy to a secluded area leading to the mountains, and chose a spot where he knew he would not be bothered. Sitting on a rock, he stared at the envelope in his hands, and spun it around a few times. His eyes stared mesmerized at Doritha's neat handwriting as he imagined her elegant slender hand taking the nib, and writing every single word on both sides of the envelope. How had she felt when she had written the letter? What thoughts had run through her mind?

Kid wondered where Doritha had been as she had transferred her words onto the paper, and when it had taken place. Surely she must have been in her new home, the house she shared with Garth, and most likely she hadn't told her husband about it. Knowing Garth, Kid was sure he wouldn't appreciate his wife keeping in touch with a former suitor, especially one who has meant so much to her. Surely Doritha had written and sent the letter without her husband knowing, and Kid was intrigued to know what was so important for her to tell him that she had taken all that trouble.

It was time to tear the envelope open, and read its contents. Kid slid his body from the rock onto the ground, resting his back against the big stone. His curiosity had taken over his will, and in a flash the letter was before his eyes, which eagerly read the words neatly traced on the white paper.

_My dearest Kid,_

_I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since we last saw each other. It anguishes me to imagine what you must have thought when you saw me and Garth together. It is time that I am honest with you now._

_When we were together, I wasn't totally honest with you. I'm ashamed to admit that Garth was already courting me before you left Virginia with your parents. I hated to lie to you, but I knew if I said anything, you wouldn't want to see me anymore, and my heart couldn't bear the pain of being without you. I know you must be thinking the worst about me, but, my love, please understand me._

_There's something else I never told you. My father was in deep water; his business was going downhill, and we were in danger of losing everything. My marriage to Garth was the only solution, the only thing that would save us, and I knew I had to sacrifice myself for my family… much like you had to do, so I know you understand why I did what I did.. I don't have any regrets because now my family is happy and fine, and as you know, family is the holiest thing we have. Marrying Garth was the hardest thing I had to do. I wasn't in love with him… I'm not in love with him, but I'm learning to love him, or at least I'm trying. I know I will never feel for anybody the way I feel for you, but it makes no sense to reveal against a fate I had to accept. I really hope you're doing the same, and can find some happiness with your wife. I expect she treats you well, and can appreciate what a good man you are._

_I have tears in my eyes while I am writing this letter. My heart longs for you, and thinking I will never be with you again burns my soul. It will never happen, I know, but I don't want to lose you completely. I have a favor to ask you. Please let's keep in touch. We might never see each other again, but at least, I want to hear from you. Please write to me whenever you can… I don't mind how often, but please don't become a stranger. Please, Kid, I beg you. I know you don't want to end everything. So write to me because I still love you, and I always will._

_All my love_

_Doritha_

_P.S. If you decide to write me, address your letters to Sarah Gordon. She's my personal maid. We can't let Garth know, can we?_

When Kid finished reading the letter, he slowly folded and hid it in his breast pocket. He wasn't sure how he felt, whether he was angry, sad, or disappointed. Now he understood so many things. In the last weeks Doritha had been acting strangely. She always refused to go for a walk in town, and instead she insisted on them meeting at the oak grove, a place where you could spend hours and hours, and see nobody. Foolishly, Kid had thought the change of scenario had been because Doritha had wanted to be just with him, without any interruptions, and now he realized she didn't want anybody to find out. Kid also remembered the annual dance, an event they had attended together for years, but that last time Doritha had complained of feeling unwell, and they had not gone. Kid imagined Garth must have escorted her to the dance instead. Doritha knew Kid wouldn't go without her, and his parents never attended.

By now Kid was feeling like a fool, and boiling with anger. How on earth hadn't he realized? Was he so gullible that everybody could deceive him so easily? First, his father, and now Doritha. How could she do that to him? Why couldn't she be honest? He had never fooled her, and had told her about his arranged marriage almost as soon as he had known himself. Now he understood why Doritha had been so supportive, and had even tried to convince him that the woman he was supposed to marry might be nice and good. With all probability that turn of events must have been a relief for her, liberating her from the uncomfortable duty of breaking the news of her own wedding to Kid.

Feeling angry and betrayed, Kid rode Katy at full steam. This news was the least thing he could expect from Doritha. As he galloped across the wide plains outside Rock Creek, he kept replaying her handwritten words in his mind, and his anger started to crumble down. There was something that was true. Doritha had done exactly the same as he had when he accepted to marry Louise. They had both wanted to help their families, so what right did he have to feel upset? He was no different; of course he had not known at the time that in fact, he was just sacrificing himself so that his father would just lay his hands on good money. Doritha's ways had not been right. She should have told him, but he could not reproach her anything. He was nobody to her now, and back then he was just a fantasy, because from the very start he was aware that their love would never lead them anywhere.

Kid eventually slowed Katy down to a canter, and headed for his home. His anger had been replaced by sheer sadness, and he mused about Doritha's request. His feelings were jumbled, and he was not sure it would be right to keep in touch with her. They would not be committing any sin, but Kid doubted he could stand knowing about her life without him. It would be too painful, but at the same time he shared her feelings. It would be unbearable not to know anything about her at all.

As Kid reached his home, he eased off Katy, and walked inside. The smell of cooking welcomed him, and he felt his stomach grumble. "Hello?" he called as he craned his neck through the kitchen door, but there was nobody. A pot was simmering on the stove, but Lou was nowhere. Kid imagined she would show up eventually, but in the meantime he would go to his bedroom and wash up.

The door to his bedroom was ajar, and when he stepped inside, he saw Lou there. Her back was to him, and when he approached, his face flamed with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Louise was holding and looking at a portrait of Doritha he had. Usually he had kept the framed photograph in a drawer, but a couple of days ago he had put it on top of the dresser, and now Louise had discovered it. Kid knew he had done nothing wrong, but after today's discovery he was too sensitive, and prone to fly off the handle at the least thing.

"What are you doing here?" he barked angrily.

His voice startled Louise, who had not noticed his presence until now. She turned to him, and simply said, "I was dusting your room."

"But you have no right to poke your nose in my things," he replied loudly, snapping the portrait from her hands.

Louise remained strangely serene, which contrasted with Kid's mood. "There's no need to get so nervous," she said calmly. "I wasn't prying. If you have a mistress or a dozen it's none of my business."

"I don't have a mistress."

"I told you. I don't care!" Lou retorted, this time her tone of voice rising. Kid tried to protest, but she simply said, "Dinner will be ready in five minutes." She picked up her duster, and turning on her heel, she left the bedroom.

When Kid went down the stairs shortly afterwards, Lou was already sitting at the dinner table in her usual position. As he took his seat, Louise rose to her feet, and served the stew and vegetables, and returned to her chair. Kid watched her move; her eyes kept downcast, purposefully avoiding his gaze at all costs. As she started eating, Kid remained still, trying to find the words to address her. He felt bad by the way he had treated her just minutes ago. She didn't deserve his roughness just because he was upset. After a while, he cleared his throat, trying to catch her attention. Louise, though, did not seem to notice him, so he had to call her name.

"Lou…" he whispered, which made her stop eating and look up. "I… I'm sorry for the way I talked to you before." Lou kept quiet, looking at him with a serious expression, and he added, "The girl in the photograph… she's not my mistress."

"I told you. That's none of my business," Lou muttered.

"I… I know, but I want to tell you," Kid replied. He did not know why, but he hated that she might think the worst of him. Maybe it was his southern upbringing, a very deep sense of honor that made him hate to be seen in a bad light by others. "That girl… she… she used to be my girlfriend, you know, back in Virginia. But now she's married too."

"Why didn't _you_ marry her then?"

"Her father wouldn't allow me. I have no money, and then my father and yours arranged our marriage," Kid explained.

"I'm sorry," Louise said sincerely.

"Lou, I just want you to know that despite the circumstances of our marriage, I don't plan to show you anything but respect. I could never take a mistress… I know my responsibilities to you, and I don't plan to go back on my word."

Lou did not reply, and resumed eating her dinner. Kid kept looking at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking, but nothing on her face gave him a clue. When they finished the meal, and Lou was on her feet, collecting the plates, Kid remembered something. "I found a job," he announced. Louise paused briefly to meet his eyes, and he continued, "At the Pony Express. I'm gonna be a rider. That means I'll have to be away from home quite a lot, but the pay's good. Are you fine with that?"

Once again Lou did not say a word. She simply shrugged her shoulders in indifference, picked up the rest of the plates and cutlery, and disappeared into the kitchen. Kid remained sitting there as loneliness once again hit him. Why was it so difficult to talk to her? When he thought they could have a normal conversation, she clammed up, and became the silent shadow of his home. If they could talk at least, this fake marriage would not feel so hard and uncomfortable. He wouldn't be so forlorn, so lost. This loneliness was driving him crazy; he had a very strong need to feel somebody, anybody, hear a friendly voice, and be heard. Never before had he experienced this strong urge. And as his lone figure stayed there, alone with his loneliness, the answer to a question popped up unexpectedly and very easily, and before he knew what he was doing, a paper sat before him as his hand scribbled two first simple words: _Dear Doritha…_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 19**

The following days were long and strenuous. Kid woke up early, and headed for the station where he remained till sunset. Many hours were spent in training and learning the ropes of the job with Teaspoon, and he devoted the rest of the day to do the chores around the station, which was part of his responsibilities too. Despite ending up totally tired, Kid enjoyed the job, working with horses and in the open, even though he hadn't done his first ride yet. He felt relaxed and at home with the rest of the riders. Teaspoon had been right; they were a close-knit group, and little by little he was starting to feel part of it too.

Every one of them was so different and unique, but there was something that joined them together, like an invisible force or a powerful energy that erased all the differences that were so evident to everybody else. They might be a peculiar bunch, but no one felt there was anything odd in their makeshift family. So little by little Kid was growing fond of his new friends, and felt he had known them all his life.

With Jimmy, the Southerner had a weird start. Hickok's presence had first made Kid feel as if he was continuously challenging him, even when they were in the most complete silence. Jimmy kept trying to appear like a tough cowboy, hard and brave, but Kid was finding out that there was something more than met the eye as far as Jimmy was concerned. Wild Bill Hickok was a character in a novel made up by a hack out of revenge, but whose storyline had nothing to do with Jimmy's real life and personality. This had inevitably caused too many problems for the rider, which had made Jimmy very wary of people in general. Kid really admired the way Hickok used the gun, so accurate and fast. Kid was not alien to guns either, and back in Virginia he was quite skilful with the shotgun, saving his family from many foodless nights by hunting a rabbit or a bird. Of course a revolver was quite different, and Kid had never used a gun against a person, and hoped he never had to. Teaspoon and Hickok had shown him how to use a six-shooter, and commented that sooner or later he would have to use it to defend himself in this dangerous job.

Noah had also been wary around Kid in those first days, clearly because of the Southerner's background and origins. Slavery was logically a sore point for a man like Noah as, Kid had learned, his father had died to preserve Noah's freedom. Kid had to admit that it had surprised him to see him as one of the riders, free and unshackled. It was not the way Kid was used to. In Virginia things were very different, and black people always belonged to somebody else. Many of Kid's friends, including Doritha and Garth, had slaves working for their families, and he had never given it a single thought about the righteousness of all that. That was the life he had known until now, and there was no reason to question it. However, as he got to know Noah, Kid realized his indifference had blinded him, and had hindered his judgment. Reflecting upon it, he admitted that, even though not everybody treated slaves roughly, it was true that belonging to somebody, not being able to make your own decisions, and being forced to another person's will could be totally horrid, a nightmare nobody wanted to live for real. In a way, Kid reflected, everybody was a slave of something. In his case, he had been submitted to a destiny his father had decided for him, which in a way made him a slave of the circumstances. But at least, he could think of a future in which he could be freed from that destiny, unlike most slaves living in the south, who knew their lives started and ended as slaves in their owners' plantation.

Cody had not surprised Kid at all after the first day of meeting him. He was sure a joker and liked boasting about everything, even about his defects. Kid was not sure if he was always joking, or he really thought so highly of himself. Actually, Kid could not deny that there were reasons for Cody to brag. He was an excellent shooter, a fast rider, and a hard fighter, but of course nobody would admit that in front of him, or Cody's ego would grow the size of Russia. On the other hand, Cody also had a more serious side, caring about his friends, and supporting them in all times. All the riders had been unanimous in their opinions, and considered Cody a loyal friend, and a better person.

Buck was also a particular man, serious, and sometimes detached. Kid had been told that a few months before Buck's best friend had died… killed as he saved the life of the woman he loved. The riders said Buck and Ike were like brothers, and the latter's death had devastated Buck, and Kid could see there was a latent sadness in the Kiowa's countenance. Apart from that, Buck seemed to be an honest, good person, and in those first days he had offered his help to Kid without reservations.

The day of his first ride arrived, and Kid was a nervous wreck. He felt this job was important and it made a difference because thousands of people trusted the Pony Express to carry their letters or other important documents across the country. Kid told himself he couldn't fail; he couldn't let all those people down, and most importantly, he had to prove to himself he could do the job. Things could not go wrong this time.

The first ride Teaspoon scheduled for him was a short one, a one-day job, and as soon as he started, Kid loved every second of it. The feeling of freedom was like nothing he had experienced before; a myriad of sensations engulfed him as he galloped across the prairies, and his five senses had never been more aware of everything happening around him. The land had never looked more beautiful, the scents of nature filled his nostrils powerfully, and the thousands of sounds reaching his ears seemed new to his world. He could even taste and touch everything he was feeling. It was overwhelming.

There were no problems in that first ride, and everybody congratulated him as soon as he eased off Katy at the Rock Creek way station.

In the couple of weeks that followed the rides succeeded for Kid, confirming his love for the job. He loved when he had to camp overnight, sleeping with the stars shining above him. Not all of the rides were as smooth as the first one, and Kid found himself chased by Indians, shot by outlaws, and even thrown off by Katy. All in all, Kid adored every second of it. This job also relieved him from being at home, and in these weeks he had seen little of Louise. He even sometimes slept at the station when he had to ride off very early the following morning.

It was mid morning when the station windmill appeared in sight. He was coming back from a two-day ride, and he was early since he did not have to wait for the dispatch he was supposed to bring back. When he trotted into the station, he did not see anybody around, so he left Katy in the stables, and headed for the bunkhouse. When he got inside, he found his fellow riders wearing their Sunday suits. Cody had hogged the mirror, and was intent on combing his long, blonde hair; Noah was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of water; Buck was standing and smirking as he watched Cody's antics with the comb; and Rachel was helping Jimmy with the knot of his bow tie. When Kid entered, everybody greeted him raucously.

"What's going on?" Kid asked as he walked to a bunk and left his saddlebags.

"Don't you know it's Founders' Day today?" Cody asked without averting his eyes from the mirror in front of him.

"Founders' Day?" Kid echoed questioningly.

"There's a picnic, games, and a horse race," Buck explained unenthusiastically.

"Great fun," Noah added sarcastically.

"Boys, don't grumble," Rachel said. "You know Teaspoon wants all of you there."

"And that includes you, Kid," Jimmy added, raising an eyebrow to his friend. "This is part of the job, and no excuses. I've tried everything to get out of these things, but nothing works."

"Don't be such bores!" Rachel exclaimed. "It'll be fun." She paused, and then added, "Kid, why don't you go home and bring your wife along?"

"Yes, Kid," Buck agreed. "It's time we met her finally."

The Southerner hesitated, and eventually said, "I'll ask her." He kept thoughtful for a moment, and then added, "Actually, I think we both need some recreation. It's been a couple of hectic months… for me, and I guess for her too."

"Then go and find her," Noah urged him.

Kid nodded, as he readied himself for leaving, and as he walked to the door, Rachel said, "We'll meet you in town."

"I won't be long, promise," Kid replied.

"I wouldn't worry," Jimmy said. "Knowing Cody, he won't finish with his comb in less than half an hour. And honestly, Cody, I don't know why you fret. Unless you cover your face with your hair, you won't disguise your ugly face."

All the riders, even Rachel, laughed at Jimmy's comment, except Cody, who looked daggers at Hickok while Kid slipped out of the bunkhouse, and rode off to his place and Louise.

* * *

"Lou!" Kid called as he opened the front door of his house. "Lou! Where are you?"

Louise came into the living room from the kitchen, showing a surprised expression on seeing her husband. "I didn't expect you," she whispered, lowering her eyes to the floor.

"I came back early," Kid replied. They remained in silence for a few seconds, and he then asked, "Do you know there's a special celebration in town today?"

Louise nodded. "I saw some men putting up ribbons, banners, flags and other decorations when I went for provisions yesterday."

"I'm going with the boys, you know, the riders, so maybe you'd like to tag along," Kid said.

Louise hesitated. For a moment Kid thought she was going to say yes, but then she shook her head very slowly. "Why not? It might be fun and all the town will be there," Kid insisted.

"Except me," Louise simply said, and not wanting to give Kid the chance to reply, she turned round, and returned to the kitchen.

Kid shook his head as he watched her go. He definitely did not understand her. All his attempts to approach her were met with coldness even though he had to admit he had not tried very hard. Actually, since he had started working for the Express, Lou's presence in his life was minimal. And if she did not seem open to a more friendly relationship, he could not make her.

Kid did not try to follow or change her mind, and briskly headed for his bedroom, where he washed up and got changed. When he was ready to go, he let Lou know, but like usual she responded frugally. Kid then rode to town, and when he got there, he was welcomed by a jovial atmosphere. Dozens of people were around, dressed in their best clothes, and like Lou had said, the town was decorated in brilliant and cheerful colors. Along Rock Creek's main street there were stall and tents selling refreshments and trinkets, or displaying multifarious games.

As Kid eased off Katy, he noticed his fellow riders and other local men on their horses lined up at the end of the street as a loud voice announced that the horse race was about to start. Kid sauntered down the walkway, and lifted his arm to wave at his friends. A hand on his shoulders made him shift his attention to see Buck by his side. "Won't you join the race? You still have time; won't start for another five minutes."

Kid shook his head. "I just came from a ride. I don't think I could stand bouncing on a horse for one more hour," he said. Buck chuckled, amused, and Kid asked, "What about you?"

Buck shook his head. "This thing brings back bad memories," he explained, and at Kid's quizzical expression, he added, "Last year, when we were in Sweetwater, there was a similar festivity. I won the race, which led me to meet a lady… I fell for her, but, well, things didn't work out. I hate to think about it."

Kid was surprised that Buck would open up to him after being so quiet and discreet for the last weeks. "I'm sorry."

Buck shrugged his shoulders. "That's in the past now, but I don't want to do anything that reminds me of that time," he said, and after a brief pause, he remembered something, and asked Kid, "Where's your better half?"

"She didn't want to come."

"Why not?"

Kid pressed his lips and stretched them in a peculiar expression, and then said, "Beats me."

"Women. Complicated, aren't they?" Buck remarked.

"Tell me about it," Kid agreed, and both men started laughing like two old friends. It was good to laugh, the Southerner thought. In the last months he had little or no reason to crack a smile, and it was probably high time he could let some cheerfulness in. He couldn't change the past, and his present would look brighter if he could laugh at himself.

Buck and Kid watched the race with the rest of the Rock Creek citizens. Rachel and Teaspoon also joined them to cheer the boys on, and after watching the dozen competing riders going round the girth of town for several times, a winning horse crossed the finishing line. The victor was Thomas, the boy working at the blacksmith's, and he received a prize of $50. The three Pony Express riders approached their friends who received them with words of encouragement. Jimmy and Noah grinned amusedly as Cody whined exaggeratedly that he should be the one to win the race, and the result had been unfair.

"Come on, son. Don't be such a bad loser," Rachel scolded him.

"I ain't a bad loser, but the race should've been called off when my horse lost a shoe!" Cody complained.

"That's just your fault," Buck reminded him.

"You're wrong there. Do you know who shod my horse last week? Thomas, the one and only. He messed up with my horse on purpose because he knew he couldn't beat me otherwise," Cody continued stubbornly.

"And why, Mr. Cody, didn't you check your horse? If instead of a silly local race, you had been on a ride, you would've inflicted the poor animal a preventable pain." Teaspoon pointed out, which managed to shut the boy up.

"Why don't you boys have a look around? We'll meet for lunch, all right?" Rachel suggested, and the five riders nodded in unison. Teaspoon volunteered to escort the station mistress to the area where the women were preparing the picnic for the town, and when they were gone, Cody could not keep quiet any longer.

"I still think I should've won."

"Shut up, Cody!" the other four riders barked simultaneously, tired of listening to their friend's moans for too long.

It seemed that the scolding had an effect on Cody, who did not mention the same again. The group strolled around, looking at the stalls, and greeting acquaintances. After a while Jimmy and Noah decided they had enough, and went to the saloon for a sarsaparilla. Kid, Buck and Cody continued curiously roaming around.

It was a beautiful day, and Kid was feeling in high spirits. Sharing time and laughter with his friends was doing him a whole lot of good. It was hilarious to see Cody's poor attempts with the girls, and of course it didn't help that he and Buck always butted in to make fun of him when Cody tried to talk to the ladies. Needless to say, Cody did not appreciate what his friends were trying to do, and kept grumbling, which did not manage to silence the others' laughter, and he even ended up chuckling as well.

"Look at that!" Cody exclaimed as he pointed out a colorful tent, decorated with tassels and chiffon cloths. From the material forming the gap that was the entrance to the tent small bells dangled, and with the breeze that was blowing that day they let out a melodious jingle. On top of the pointed tent there was a painted notice. _"Madame Lola. Find out your future."_

"No way," Buck said straightaway, guessing what Cody's intentions were. "Those people are nothing but charlatans, and I have better things to do than waste the money there."

"Come on, Buck. Don't be such a wet blanket. It'll be fun," Cody insisted. "I thought you believed some people have the gift to see into the future."

"I do believe, but not those people. All they want is to get money out of it," Buck replied.

"Please, boys. Please," Cody insisted, almost falling to his knees to beg his friends.

Buck and Kid shared a look, and the latter said, "I guess it won't hurt if we try." Buck did not want to give in, but what Kid said was true, and if they refused, they would have to bear Cody's whines for the rest of the day, so he finally nodded.

Letting out a whoop, Cody led the way, and the three friends headed for the tent. The blonde rider moved the flap covering the entrance, making all the tiny bells jingle, and Buck and Kid followed him inside. There was a woman sitting behind a round table; she was quite old; her face was covered in wrinkles, and her very white hair was covered with a colorful scarf whose edges were lined with bright, golden beads.

"Come in, gentlemen," the woman said in a foreign accent, motioning them with her finger at the same time. Her wrinkled hands were baroquely loaded with bracelets, and rings, and her nails were painted in red color.

Kid and his friends sat down before the woman after paying the ten cents she required from them. "I'm Madame Lola," she announced, in a voice that was a mixture of a whisper and a suffocated cry. "So you boys want to know what the future has in store for you?"

Cody nodded vigorously, showing his evident enthusiasm, while Buck just cast a skeptic look in her direction. "I sense there's a certain resistance here. You don't believe in my powers, boy?" she asked, turning her black eyes to Buck.

"You guessed that right," the Kiowa replied sarcastically.

"Let me prove you wrong then," Madame Lola said, and picked up the pack of cards from the table. After shuffling them, she made Buck cut. "Hmm, let's see what the stars tell us," she muttered as she started placing a row of cards face up on top of the table. "I can see you've had a lot of pain in your life, but you're a strong young man." She paused, and as she placed another card next to the others already lying before her, she added, "But you have no luck with women."

"The cards told you that?" Buck asked in a mocked way. "I'm a half-breed in the white world. Anybody could guess that the ladies don't wait in line for me."

Madame Lola grumbled a few words in a language none of the riders understood as she turned her black, angry eyes to Buck. As new cards were put down, she added, "Your luck's gonna change. An angel will waltz into your life… an angel you thought was gone… a beautiful blonde creature that will sweep you off your feet."

"I hope it ain't Kathleen Devlin," Cody mumbled in a low voice, but loud enough to reach Buck's ears. The comment gained the blonde rider a glare from his friend.

Buck did not feel comfortable with this stranger poking her nose in his private matters. It was true he did not believe in people like her, but her words were stirring something that he'd rather keep hidden and buried on a day like this. "I don't want to hear anything else," Buck finally said.

The woman bowed her head. "As you wish, sir."

"It's my turn now," Cody said eagerly.

The woman repeated the same process as with Buck, and when a line of cards lay before her, she rubbed her chin as she said, "This… this is really interesting. Your future looks very bright and even dazzling. Your name will be known all over the world, and even when you aren't in this world, everybody will know who you are."

"You see, boys? I told you. I'm gonna be famous!" Cody exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear. Buck and Kid shared a knowing look, not believing a word Madame Lola was saying. In some way the woman had guessed this was what Cody wanted to hear, and was filling the rider's head with more nonsense.

"Believe me, you will," Madame Lola continued. "You will travel far and wide, know the most important people, and your feats will always be remembered."

Cody kept grinning in satisfaction, and slid an extra coin into the woman's hand. Madame Lola nodded her thanks, and then turned her attention to Kid. "And now you," she said.

"No, no," Kid said, lifting his two hands to her for demonstration. "Not me. I just came to see." In truth, these things gave Kid the creeps, and even though he shared Buck's ideas, and did not believe this woman had a gift, he still did not want to tamper with the unknown.

The woman ignored Kid's protests, and reached for one of his hands, which she brought closer to her. "Let me have a look," she said, as she ran her long-nailed finger over Kid's palm, her eyes following its trajectory. "You have a very interesting hand… very interesting."

"I bet nobody's ever told you that, huh, Kid?" Cody joked after the woman's comment.

Madame Lola lifted her black eyes to Kid's blue ones. "Your life line is a long one, you'll have a long life, but… but… I see you live surrounded by very negative energy… by black clouds… and only you can make the sun defeat those clouds… only you… nobody else." The woman paused, and lowered her eyes back to the hand again. "Here's your love line," she said, showing Kid by once again running her finger along it. "Hmm … hmm… I see it clear… there are two women in your life: your one, true love and…"

"His curse!" Cody piped up teasingly.

"Cody!" Buck exclaimed, whacking his friend on the arm with the back of his hand whereas Kid sent him a black look.

"You could call her that…" Madame Lola continued. "Your heart will get muddled… totally jumbled… and you might end up losing your true love forever because of a deep-felt moral obligation to this other lady."

Kid shuddered. "I already lost her," he said seriously.

"I'm talking about the future, not the past. This hasn't taken place yet. Your heart will be divided between your love and your duty, and you are the only one who can embrace a glowing future, or resign yourself to a flat existence. The ball will be on your roof."

Kid did not feel comfortable with all this gibberish, and pulled his hand free. "I think it's time to go, ain't it, boys?" he said pointedly to the two other riders.

When they were out of the tent, Kid could breathe relieved. That place did not give him good vibrations, and he was glad to be out of it. "What a load of nonsense!" he exclaimed.

"I don't think it's nonsense," Cody disagreed.

"Oh please, Cody, don't tell me you believed all that!" Buck replied.

"Why not? I really feel my future holds something important… I know you tease me for that, but I'm serious. I do believe in myself," Cody stated without a hint of amusement in his voice.

"So do you then believe I'll fall for that blonde girl, and that riddle she told Kid?" Buck challenged him.

Cody kept quiet for a while, but then his mouth split into a big smile. "I don't know about Kid, but I have the hunch your angel is bound to happen."

"Oh yeah? And who is she, my clever friend?" Buck asked skeptically.

"Jennifer Tompkins," Cody just said, stretching his arm to point at just opposite them. The two other riders followed the direction of his hand, and Buck realized that actually Jenny was standing there.

"What's she doing here? I thought she was gone for good," Buck muttered.

"Jennifer Tompkins and our here friend were really close a few months ago when she was rescued from an Indian village," Cody told Kid. "What did the witch say? A beautiful, blonde creature…"

"Nonsense. Jenny and I are just friends," Buck contradicted, lifting his hand in greeting as Jenny had noticed him, and was waving. The girl did not stay put, and ran to meet him, and when she reached him, she threw her hands to him, hugging him close.

Cody grinned at Kid "Yes, just friends… just friends, obviously," he said as he and Kid started walking off from the pair, and Cody added, "I'd remember what Madame Lola has told you, my friend." Kid just shook his head amused, and for once Cody kept quiet, obviously dreaming and thinking about the marvelous world that he really believed would be in his future. Today everything looked much brighter, and whether that woman was really gifted or not did not really matter. He was positive there was something big in his future, and nobody would convince him otherwise.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 20**

Louise aimlessly stumbled into the living room from the kitchen for the umpteenth time after roaming around the whole house over and over again. She was totally bored. There was nothing for her to do. Every room was spotless, without a single speck of dust, all the clothes were cleaned, ironed, and put back in the wardrobes, and the floors were swept and washed. Just this morning she had changed the sheets in the beds, and now the bedrooms were filled with the soft scent of the soap she used for the laundry. There was no cooking to be done for lunch today because she would have some of the leftovers from last night's dinner since she was not a fussy eater. Like every day Kid was at the station, and he would not come back till the evening. Lou would usually find some extra work around the homestead, mucking out the few stalls in the stables, pulling up some unwanted weeds in her garden, or just looking after the animals. Yet, today everything was already done.

As Lou stood in the middle of the living room, she looked around. Her book sat on the coffee table, but she had already read it twice, and even though it was one of her favorites, a third reading would be too much. Her hand crept into her skirt pocket, and found a coin. Maybe she could go to town, and get herself a new book. Yet, she hesitated. Should she spend the coin on a whim?

Lou had been trying to save all the pennies from the change when she went food shopping at the store. Of course it did not amount to much, but at least, it was something. Her future was uncertain. She did not know when this marriage would end and her husband would kick her out. So she thought she needed to make some provisions, but trying to depend on the loose coins she managed to save was naïve and stupid. She would have to return to her father eventually. If she had enough money, she could make a life for herself, but that would not happen. If only she were twenty-one…

There were still years to pass, and she knew her marriage would not last that much. In this time she had found out she loved her independence, her freedom and in a way she was enjoying the newly-discovered pleasure now. She hardly saw her husband, and sometimes when he was on a ride, she did not have to see him at all. His presence made her very uncomfortable, and when he tried to talk to her, she felt totally lost. Thankfully, that did not happen too often. Lou wished one day he didn't return home at all. Actually, she wouldn't mind if he decided to disappear and abandon her. Without him around, she would have options, but for some reason she suspected he would not do that, so she just had to resign herself to the reality.

'_A coin won't make a difference,'_ she muttered aloud, and prepared to go to town. As she stood before the mirror, she ran her fingers through her auburn hair. It was longer now; some wisps were timidly showing up from under her nape. Louise sighed. She really missed her long hair, and now she realized it had been daft to cut it so short. Short or long, it didn't make a difference, but maybe it would have been easier and less painful if she had accepted things from the start. Her hair would grow again, and she wondered where she would be then. It was strange; she wasn't scared. She had learned lately that what looked scary should not be dreaded, and what at first sight was welcoming could be totally the opposite. Louise just knew nothing and nobody was trustworthy, and as long as she kept a distance, she could save herself.

It was a warm day, so she put on a hat to protect herself from the sunrays. Soon the good weather would be over, and this was a good opportunity to make the most of the last warm days. She would walk to town, and enjoy the stroll. They did not live too far, and breathing fresh air, feeling the breeze and warmth on her skin, and smelling the fragrance of the last flowers would do her good. She had another look at her reflection in the mirror with indifference; she was decent enough, and without further ado, she grabbed her jacket and walked out.

* * *

"Good morning, Mr. Tompkins," Louise greeted the store keeper as she stepped into the mercantile. Tompkins looked up from the ledger he was holding, and nodded his greeting. Louise continued to the end of the store where some books were on display, and started checking the titles.

"Father, can you come here a minute?" a feminine voice resounded, coming from the door behind the counter.

"In a moment, Jenny" Tompkins replied, putting the ledger down, and as his eyes located Lou next to the book racks, he said, "Louise, my daughter needs me in the back. If you need anything, I'll be there."

Lou smiled. "Don't worry, Mr. Tompkins. I think it'll take me a while to make up my mind about what book to take home with me."

Tompkins nodded, and slid through the door leading to the back of the store. Louise kept examining the dozens of books on sale, most of which were dime novels portraying the adventures of gunslingers, cowboys, and criminals. Louise was not in the mood for reading about fist fights, shootouts, and blood and she kept looking for a good novel with some humor or romance.

At the bottom of a stack of books, Lou found one that drew her attention. _Rose Clark_ by Fanny Fern. This might be what she was looking for. A few years ago she had read another book by the same author, and she had loved it. Opening the first page, she ran her eyes through the first paragraphs. Engrossed in reading this first page, she half heard the door opening several times, and people's steps walking into the store.

Suddenly, she jumped startled when she felt a hand touch her shoulder, and as she looked up, she came face to face with a long-haired fella. "Women shouldn't be allowed to read," he said, smirking. The lower half of his face was covered in thick stubble, and as he talked, Lou cringed when his alcohol-laden breath hit her nostrils.

Lou shook the man's hand off her shoulder, and said, "Go away, will you?"

The man snickered, shaking his head, and without a word he walked closer to Louise, his burly body pushing against her, and making her drop the book. Lou protested and tried to get away from the brute. Yet, her frail frame was not a strong enough resistance for him. He guffawed as he held her strongly by the arm. "What the hell do you want?" Louise barked in panic.

"I got out of jail yesterday," the man slurred. "I haven't been with a woman for five long years. You're the first one I've stumbled upon. I sure can be more entertainin' than a damn book."

Lou stared at the man in disbelief. Why did things like this keep happening to her? Why couldn't she be left alone for once? She had just been quietly reading, and this oaf came bothering her. Why was the world so against her? She wanted to kick this brute hard as anger bubbled inside her. Her mouth opened to order him to leave her alone, but before any sound came out of her throat, another voice, an angry voice, boomed in the store. "Take your hands off her!"

The man turned round, and Lou then saw it was Kid. There was a small audience behind him, watching the whole scene. "Take it easy, man! This ain't none of your business."

Kid drew his gun, and in the same menacing tone he said, "You heard me! Leave my wife alone. Now!"

Kid pulled the gun hammer pointedly, and the man finally let go of Louise's arm. "Don't fret, man. I meant no harm."

As Lou watched the man's goofy face, her anger soared. She hated that kind of people that just because they were men, they thought they could rule the world, and everybody. Her right hand balled up into a fist, and without giving a second thought, she directed it against the man before her. Her fist collided against his jaw with such force that she managed to knock him down. As soon as her knuckles hit his face, intense pain course all over her hand and she let out a yelp.

"Let's take care of him," Teaspoon said, kneeling before the man, and after checking he was out cold, he added, "Jimmy, Noah, help me here."

When they took the man out of the store, Kid came closer to Lou. "Are you all right?"

Louise just nodded. Her eyes were downcast as she kept massaging her sore hand. "Thanks," she whispered, and she dared to lift her gaze to him.

"Well…" Kid mumbled and stopped as he ran out of words. Like usual he was feeling awkward around her, and did not know how to act casual. His hand reached to rub his neck, a habit he had when he felt nervous. "So… so you came here for provisions?" he ended up asking the first thing that crossed his mind.

"Uh… no… I… I… I was getting cabin fever, so…"

"I understand," Kid replied in the same awkward way. He noticed Rachel's presence by her side, and when he kept quiet, the station mistress stepped in.

"So you're Kid's wife then?" Rachel asked. Louise shifted her eyes between her husband and the station mistress, and then warily nodded at the question. "We were all looking forward to meeting you. I'm Rachel Dunne, but I imagine Kid must already have told you about all of us."

Lou sent a brief look at her husband, and then said, "Uh… not really… no."

"Kid… Kid," Rachel tutted teasingly. "Anyway, I'm the cook at the station, and look after all these big boys."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Dunne."

"Please, call me Rachel," the station mistress added. Louise gave her a shy smile, and Rachel added, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I heard something about feeling a bit lonely at home."

"Uh… no, just a bit bored," Louise stammered, blushing sheepishly.

"I see," Rachel replied, and then an idea hit her. "Why don't you come to the station with us today? I'm always longing for some female company, and that way you won't have to have lunch on your own. Meals at the station are anything but boring."

Lou locked eyes with Kid as she replied, "I… I don't know."

"Kid, say something," Rachel urged the rider, giving him a playful punch on his arm. "Tell Louise she's welcome."

"Lou, you heard Rachel," Kid said with a smile. "From the first day she wanted me to bring you to the station for dinner, but I guess it's my fault the occasion hasn't arisen." Lou still kept quiet, and Kid added, "Say yes, or they won't stop bugging me. And I'm sure the boys, especially Cody, will want to know how you managed to knock that fella out."

His last comment managed to make Louise giggle shyly, and turning her eyes to Rachel, she said, "Thank you. I'd love to accept your invitation."

Rachel's mouth broke into a wide smile. "And we still need to see to that hand," the station mistress said, pointing to Lou's sore hand, which the girl kept massaging. "I have an ointment at home that practically works magic. You'll see."

"Thanks," Lou said again, and as Rachel walked away to resume her shopping at the store, Louise shared a look with Kid. They stared at each other briefly before looking away uncomfortable. The same awkward silence settled between them again, and like usual one of them made an excuse, and walked away as if they could not endure being in each other's presence for too long.

* * *

Rachel was serving lunch to the riders and her special guest, who were sitting around the bunkhouse table when the door clicked open. Teaspoon trod inside, greeting every one of them, and tilted his head courteously at Louise.

"I thought you wouldn't make it for lunch today," Rachel said while she ladled the soup into the metal bowls and passed them around afterwards.

"So did I," Teaspoon agreed, taking his usual seat at the head of the table. "I had a complicated situation at the jailhouse."

"Because of the fella bothering Louise?" Rachel asked again. She had finished serving the soup, and sat down at the table, opposite Lou.

"Naw," Teaspoon said dismissively, tucking a napkin around his collar. "That was just a cowardly drunkard. A night in jail will do. I doubt he'll remember much of what happened at Tompkins' when he sleeps it off."

"So what's kept you so busy then?" Jimmy asked, taking a bite at the tender biscuit on his plate.

"The Fort Laramie sheriff and one of his deputies came to see me. Apparently, a few days ago a group of eight or ten dangerous convicts escaped when they were bein' transferred to a prison in the north. Nobody knows for sure how they did it. All the guards were killed," Teaspoon explained. "It didn't take the law long to locate them in a run-down shack outside Fort Laramie. Catchin' them was another story. It was a pitched battle. Those fellas had got hold of rifles, hand grenades, and even some special muskets that the army uses. Fortunately, they were arrested in the end."

"But how on earth did they have all that artillery?" Cody asked.

"There's this gunrunner the law's been after for a very long time. He's believed to have supplied these crooks with all the guns. Nobody knows who the gunrunner is, what his name is, or what he looks like. He's been dubbed Mr. X. He's been workin' in Nebraska Territory for many years, and the army is adamant to catch him. That's why they're requestin' every lawman's help, and that's why the sheriff just came to see me."

"You know you can count on us if you need help," Noah said, his words echoed by the riders' agreeing nods.

"Thanks, boys," Teaspoon replied, and as he looked around the table, he noticed Louise's big eyes staring at him with a curious expression. "But let's not bore our guest with this tedious business."

"Teaspoon's right," Rachel agreed with a smile. "This is precisely the kind of conversation that should be kept away from the dinner table." She paused to have a sip of her glass of water, and then added, "So, Louise, how are you settling down in our town?" Lou was still staring at Teaspoon even though he had stopped talking. Her big eyes unblinkingly kept focused on the marshal, and she did not hear a word Rachel had just uttered. "Louise?" Rachel called again. "Louise?"

Lou almost jumped out of her seat, startled as the station mistress called her name for the second time. She turned her attention to Rachel, and blushed. "I… I'm sorry. I was a bit distracted."

"Figures," Buck remarked, grinning. "I wonder why Teaspoon's tales have that effect on everybody."

Lou smiled shyly when the marshal gave Buck a glaring look as the others chuckled. When the laughter died down, Rachel said, "I was just saying I hope you like living here in Rock Creek."

"Yes, it's… it's a nice place."

"Where are you originally from?" Jimmy asked.

"Nowhere actually," Lou replied. "When I was a child, my family moved quite a lot, and it was just recently that we settled in Saint Joseph."

"You mean your parents?" Rachel asked cautiously. Kid had told them about Louise's father, but there had never been a mention of the girl's mother.

Lou coughed uncomfortable, and lowering her eyes to the plate in front of her, she muttered, "My ma died five years ago… in childbirth. It was going to be her fourth child, but the baby didn't survive either."

"I'm really sorry," Teaspoon said sympathetically.

Lou nodded morosely, and then Buck asked, "So you have two siblings then?"

Louise looked up, her sad eyes meeting the Kiowa's, and said, "Used to. A brother and a sister. I was the oldest. Jeremiah was five years younger and Theresa seven. About three years ago we all got typhoid fever… I was the only one who got over it."

Kid stared at Louise as strange feelings coursed all over him. This was the first he had heard about Lou's mother and siblings. Why on earth had he never wondered about her family? He remembered that first encounter many years ago when they were young children, and he recalled her mother and her baby brother. Then why had he never asked her? Right now he was feeling like a selfish moron. Could it be that he was so focused on himself that he could not see beyond his own nose?

"Then it's just you and your pa…" Jimmy added.

"That's right."

"You must miss him then," Rachel remarked with a sad smile.

Lou kept quiet for a while, and turning her eyes to Kid, she added, "My family's my husband now." At her words, Kid frowned in confusion, and then as quickly as her eyes had met his, she looked away, and focused on the food on her plate as she usually did when they had dinner together. The conversation soon moved to another topic, and no more words came out form Lou's mouth that afternoon.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 21**

The first raindrops had started to fall ten miles before reaching Rock Creek, and when Kid rode into the station, the storm was unloading buckets and buckets of water over his head. He could hardly see as the torrential rain got into his eyes and clouded his eyesight. Jimmy was already ready on his horse, waiting for him, and the exchange of mochillas was carried out smoothly.

"Ride safe, Jimmy!" Kid called. Hickok lifted his hand in response as he galloped out of the station towards the tumultuous trail ahead of him. When Kid could not make out his figure in the distance anymore, he trotted closer to the bunkhouse.

Teaspoon was on the porch, and stood up to greet him. "Cody, take care of Katy," he said in a firm tone. "And you, Kid, go inside, and get out of those wet clothes before you catch your death."

Without hesitation, Cody took the mare's reins, and pulled the animal towards the stables while Kid followed Teaspoon into the bunkhouse. Even though the Southerner did not live at the station, he kept a change of clothes for moments like today's, or when he had to stay overnight. Once inside, he took a towel from a drawer of the dresser, and when he slipped out of his wet shirt and long johns top, he started to dry himself.

Teaspoon sat on a chair next to the door, which he swung to and fro on its two back legs. "There's a letter for you, Kid," the marshal informed him. "It arrived yesterday. It's there… on the shelf."

Kid stopped his movements straightway, and eagerly grabbed the envelope, thinking it must be from Doritha. He had sent her a letter a few weeks ago, and was certain she would reply. Even though knowing from her and about her life with Garth hurt, Kid really needed to receive her news. She was the last connection to his roots, and he just could not lose that bond. It was too important. Kid really hoped he would eventually get over Doritha, and the love he still felt would be just a memory one day, but she was part of his childhood, of Virginia, and that was enough reason for him to want to keep the ties to her.

Yet, when Kid checked the addressee, another name was written on the back of the envelope. "It's from Lou's father," he muttered, leaving the letter on the table. "I'll read it later."

Teaspoon nodded. "Let me tell ya, son, that you have a very charmin' missus. I dunno… I expected her to be different. But she's very pretty… not too talkative, but I do believe those who don't suffer from oral incontinence like myself are much cleverer. She seems to be a nice little lady."

"Yeah…" Kid let out flatly.

"I'd expect a little more enthusiasm from her dear husband," Teaspoon remarked pointedly.

"Teaspoon, you already know my situation, and I can't show you much more enthusiasm because that ain't the way I feel," Kid exclaimed as he did up all the buttons at the front of his fresh shirt. "I could pretend I like her, but that's not me, and I can't lie."

"Son, to be honest, I was quite surprised by your attitude the other day," Teaspoon replied. "I know you're a kind and amiable young man, but that ain't what I saw. You didn't cross a word with her, and you acted very strangely. I thought you were tryin' to be on friendly terms with her."

"And I'm trying, honestly. But she won't talk to me."

"And do you ever wonder why?"

Kid lowered his head defeated. "Yes… I guess it's my fault… in a way, but Teaspoon, I can't help it. Being around her makes me so uncomfortable and the idea that I have to endure the situation longer makes me so bitter. I don't like this, I don't like her, and above all, I don't like myself."

On hearing him, Teaspoon raised an eyebrow in surprise. Even though he had heard the whole story from Kid's lips, it was the first time the boy talked so bitterly about his wife and his unwanted marriage, which made Teaspoon wonder. When Louise had visited the station days ago, her bearing and attitude had made Teaspoon suspicious, and after Kid's words, he dreaded finding out something he would hate in his riders. "And how far does your dislike of her go?"

The question did not hide Teaspoon's subliminal intention and meaning from Kid. The rider's blue eyes almost popped out in total shock, and his words rushed out of his mouth clumsily to deny what the marshal was implying. "No! No! That's … that's not it. I… I couldn't harm a woman… ever! My mother went through hell with my father, and I could never do that to a woman! I swear I'd kill myself if I ever found myself repeating what my father did! I couldn't stand it!"

Kid was almost in tears. Teaspoon rose to his feet, and came closer to him. "Son, don't get this upset. Forgive me. I didn't mean to offend you," he said, placing a comforting hand on the rider's shoulder.

"I know Lou's a good girl, and has had her share of suffering in life too," Kid replied. "She's even a perfect wife, but I don't love her. She's just a stranger I live with."

Teaspoon kept thoughtful for a while, and then asked, "Have I ever told you about my friend Hank?"

Kid shook his head. "I don't think you have."

"The thing is that his brother passed away, quite suddenly, leavin' a wife and a young baby," Teaspoon explained. "Hank was their only relative alive, and he felt morally forced to support them. How could he turn his back on his brother's family? And you can imagine that for propriety's sake, he ended up doin' his duty and married her. It was years later in the woman's funeral that Hank told me he'd never loved his wife. They were married for over thirty years, but he never felt the way a man's supposed to feel for a woman. But strangely, he said that he would marry her again, once, three times, twenty if he had to. She was his best friend, and the person who understood him best. I guess in a way they were happy… Hank had no regrets."

Kid mused about the story Teaspoon had told him. From his position, being stuck in a loveless marriage for so many years was unthinkable. Yet, it was true that in some cases a friendly union might work out better than some marriages that were supposedly based on love. His mother had loved his father all her life even though he had treated her like rubbish more often than not. That was something he had never understood. Kid had always dreamt about one day marrying a girl who he would be madly in love with, but apparently, life had other plans for him.

"I'd really like to be friends with Lou, but I just don't know… it ain't easy."

"You know what they say, son? You can't create movement unless you walk. So there's just one thing you have to do."

"What?" Kid asked, lost at the meaning behind Teaspoon's words.

"Walk," Teaspoon replied, patting Kid on the back.. "Just walk and the others will eventually follow you. Never stop, or everythin' else will."

Kid nodded, and the marshal started walking towards the door. "Teaspoon!" the rider called before the station master could leave. The older man looked at him questioningly, and Kid asked, "What happened to Hank… your friend? Did he ever find love?"

Teaspoon gave him a crooked smile. "You know what? He'd already found it… problem was he never knew it was just before his very nose." Kid frowned at his words, and Teaspoon added, "Ten children, Kid. They had ten children." And chuckling as he remembered his foolish friend, he slipped out of the bunkhouse, leaving Kid alone with his thoughts.

* * *

It poured heavily all morning and part of the afternoon. Because of the foul weather, Kid had stayed for a nap at the station instead of riding home as he usually did at the end of each ride. In the evening the rain receded, and the clouds lifted to let the sun greet the world briefly before setting.

It was then that Kid left the way station, and headed for home. The ground was muddy from the abundant rain it had received, and the paths and roads were slippery. Kid hoped that Jimmy and Buck, both of whom were away on rides, would reach their destinations safe and sound. The wet weather would keep bandits, Indians, and other potential dangers away, but the same safeguard that ensured their security meant a risk too.

As Kid rode into his farm, he found it strange to see the house in total darkness. Usually there was light coming from the windows in the living room and the kitchen. As he stepped into the house, everything was in silence. No fire was burning at the fireplace, no cooking smell lingered in the air, and no sound came from the kitchen.

"Lou!" he called in the silence. "Lou! Where are you?" When his summons were just responded by the reverberation of his own voice, he became alarmed. What if Louise had taken sick? What if something had happened to her while he was away? He kept calling her name as he started climbing the stairs.

"Louise?" He was in front of her bedroom, and knocked at the door lightly. "Louise?" Kid repeated and dared to open the door. The room was also lightless, and there was no trace of Lou here either. As he stood in the middle of the room, he felt awkward, and at the same time curious. This was the first time he crossed the threshold of her private domain, and had not even got a glimpse of the place at all ever before.

Looking around, Kid noticed how tidy and clean everything was, just like his own bedroom was. The double bed was neatly made, dominating the whole room, and some flowers gave the place a feminine touch that lacked in the rest of the house. A framed picture stood on top of the dresser, and moved by curiosity, Kid took it in his hands. It showed Lou, a few years younger, and two children, who Kid guessed were her siblings. She wore a bright smile, a smile he had never seen, and he had to silently admit that she was beautiful; her eyes shone, and she looked so fresh and … and so happy. Kid imagined that Lou had few reasons to smile these days. It was such a shame she had lost almost all her family, and regardless of what she had told Rachel, Lou surely missed the only member of her family left, her father.

Suddenly, a thought hit him. What if she had decided to leave him? Quickly he dashed for the wardrobe in a couple of long strides, and opened its doors. All her clothes were hanging there, so logically she had not left… at least willingly. "Where on earth is she then?" he asked aloud as fear crept into his heart. Something must have happened to her, he dreadfully thought, and he was about to rush out with the intention of finding Teaspoon when the sound of a horse approaching reached his ears.

Kid looked out of the window in her bedroom, and in the dim light of the evening, he made out the outline of a rider and a horse, galloping full steam towards the place. When they were closer, he recognized both of them. It was Lightning, their black mare, and Lou was the rider. She had donned the pants and shirt he had seen her in the night he had returned from Virginia, but this time no hat hid her feminine face. From his position Kid kept watching her, appreciating what a skillful and natural rider his wife was.

Lou stopped the horse, and jumped off before rushing into the house. Kid then left her bedroom, and as he went down the staircase, his steps announced his presence. Louise's eyes lifted and met his. She did not say a word, and stared at him warily as if expecting something. When Kid finally reached the living room, he smiled while saying, "You can ride and you can shoot. What other secret abilities are you hiding from me?"

Lou lowered her eyes to the toes of her shoes. "I'm sorry I'm late. I went for a ride, and the rain forced me to find shelter. And when I was on my way here, Lightning slipped and threw me."

Kid noticed her clothes were stained with mud, and her face was also smudged. "It's all right. No need to apologize," Kid replied. He was still curious, and could not help to ask, "Where did you learn to ride so spectacularly? I'm impressed."

Louise lifted her eyes to him, but ignored his question, and the praise in it. "I'll make dinner now. Won't be long."

Kid sighed, wondering why she clammed up when he tried to talk to her. It was frustrating, but he would try to do as Teaspoon had said, and keep walking even though the road was bumpy and full of pot holes. "Lou, why don't you take a nice, warm bath? You must be sore and cold. I can make dinner in the meantime."

Lou narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You?"

"Hey! I can cook some too!" he exclaimed, feigning offence. "Nobody has ever died after eating my food… at least none that I know of."

Kid grinned, trying to cheer up her mood, but Lou kept a serious countenance. "Thanks," he muttered as she slowly made her way upstairs while Kid's voice resounded behind her, offering to heat the water for her bath.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 22**

"It ain't so bad, is it?" Kid said as Louise took a first bite of the meat he had cooked for dinner.

Lou nodded. "It's nice."

Kid smiled a smile she did not see because her eyes were downcast and directed to her plate like usual. "Of course it ain't as good as your cooking."

Kid's comment made Lou look up. Her fiery eyes shot to his in a glare, and her annoyance became even clearer when she asked in a loud tone, "Are you mocking me?"

"Mocking?" Kid echoed, thrown by her words. "I'm serious. I like your cooking. Why would you think otherwise?"

Louise softened, and once again she lowered her eyes. "I… I don't know."

They relapsed into silence as they ate. The clinking of the cutlery against the plates became again their companion like every day in their awkward, silent meals. Kid kept sending her looks, wondering what was on her mind, who she really was. He knew next to nothing about the woman who was his wife. It was obvious that talking to him was not her cup of tea, but strangely today Kid was convinced that he could not allow this dead silence to rule their existence and stand in their way. They should make a little effort to make things easier, so even though he knew he was risking angering her, he said, "You never answered my question." Louise stopped eating, and frowned quizzingly. Kid elaborated, "You know … about riding."

Lou stared at him in silence, and Kid thought she would not reply this time either, but she surprised him. "Why do you want to know? Are you one of those men who don't think a girl can ride?"

"I'm just curious," Kid replied. In Virginia women also rode, but it was different. Actually, one should call what they did sitting on a horse rather than riding it. They sat sideways, and just let the horse walk. "You really impressed me, honestly. I think you could easily compete against me and the boys at the station."

Lou did not reply straightaway, and, after a short silent lapse, she said, "My father … my father taught me."

"Did he also teach you to shoot?"

"Uh… no… not really," Lou answered. "He thinks that guns ain't for women, but I have eyes and ears. I learned from all those times he was trying to teach my brother. And I sometimes sneaked out, took a gun, and did some shooting when nobody was around."

Kid grinned. "That could be a bit dangerous, couldn't it?" Lou shrugged her shoulders in indifference, and he added, "You're a bit of a rebel then, huh?" Louise did not reply to his jest, and Kid continued talking, "Speaking of your father, I got a letter from him today." He showed her the ripped envelope he took out of his breast pocket. He had read the letter while she was having her bath. "He's coming to visit us."

"Wh… why?" Lou exclaimed, her forehead creasing into a surprised frown.

"I guess he wants to see how you're doing," Kid replied. "He must miss you. It's been two months." He paused and studied the strange expression on her countenance. "What's wrong? Aren't you glad he's coming?"

"Yeah… yes… sure," Lou replied. "I'm surprised, that's all. I didn't expect to see him now… He's a busy man."

"I imagine his girl is more important than his occupations," Kid remarked. Lou's face remained serious and thoughtful, so he added, "You can read the letter if you want." He slid the envelope across the table towards her, but she did not make an attempt to pick it up. "He's coming next Friday and wants me to book a room for him at the hotel."

As if reading his thoughts, Lou muttered, "Better that way."

Kid nodded even though he was not sure if her motivations for her remark were the same as his thoughts. He knew it would be too awkward to have Lou's father staying with them. They would have to explain why they slept in different rooms, and different beds, and Kid would have to go somewhere to spend the nights, probably ending up at the station. With John lodging at the hotel, there would be no awkward questions, no meddling, or uncomfortable meaningful looks.

This would be the first time they would see John after their wedding, and doubtlessly, the man would want to know how his daughter was. Kid knew Lou wasn't happy in this marriage. Anybody could tell as much. Kid was not sure what Louise first expected from their arranged union. Her father had told him that she was excited and looking forward to the wedding, but Kid had not seen much interest from her part. Maybe she was disappointed because he was not the kind of person she imagined she would marry, or perhaps she had just pretended around her father. In any case, her apathy would be apparent to her father now. Kid did not look forward to responding to John's likely demands and queries. Lou's father seemed a reasonable man, and Kid supposed he would understand the circumstances. Anybody would.

Kid could well reproach John the way he had been tricked into this marriage, but the Southerner had to admit Lou's father was not the culprit in this business. It had been his own father who had concocted the deception. Maybe John knew, but that was hardly reproachable. So even though Kid wished he could unload the anger that had been bubbling inside him for months, he couldn't do that to John. That would be unfair, and he had enough with injustice so far. As far as Kid had seen in their first encounter, John was a friendly and good man. Maybe this was a golden opportunity to talk about the condition of this marriage, and they could sort out this mess, because in this matter nobody was winning… not him, and definitely not Louise.

* * *

Kid spent the rest of the week on a lengthy ride alongside Jimmy. Teaspoon had paired them to deliver a dispatch to Fort Kearney, and since the area they would be riding through was lately accounted for as being a hot spot, Teaspoon had deemed it reasonable to have two guns on this ride.

Even though long rides were a put-off most of the time, Kid had willingly accepted the job. When he returned, he would have a couple of days off, which was a longed-for perquisite for the hard work. Besides, having free time would come in handy. Lou's father would be arriving the morning after he would go back, so he wanted to be there to receive the man and try to make his stay as pleasing as possible. Kid did not know how long John would be in Rock Creek, but he had the hunch that he would not stay for many days. According to Lou, her father was a man of many responsibilities, so his visit was bound to be brief.

The ride became an odyssey as the two riders had to fight against a fierce gale that started blowing on the second day, and lasted for almost as long as it took them to get to Fort Kearney. If riding in the rain was grueling and uncomfortable, it was twice as bad to struggle against the ruthless wind. Kid and Jimmy even had to take shelter when it was impossible to carry on. No wonder that when they were back in Rock Creek, they were so shattered that they did not even exchange a single word when they parted ways. Kid rode home, and, after declining Lou's offer for dinner, he trudged to his bedroom where he crashed immediately.

Kid had the impression of having been sleeping for many hours when he suddenly woke up. Judging from the pitch-black sigh outside his widow, it surely was two or three in the morning. His mouth felt parched, and he sat up to pour himself a glass of water from the pitcher he always kept on the bedside table. As he downed it in one gulp, he thought he heard some squeaking sounds, very similar to when one of the downstairs shutters was opened. Kid's ears perked up as he tried to make out something else, and then he heard some more sounds, even steps on the porch.

Worried that a trespasser might have broken in, Kid took his gun and slowly prowled downstairs. Everything was quiet and in darkness, but he still could hear the sounds coming from outside, even more clearly. Definitely, there was somebody on his porch as he could hear the steps, and very slight noises that sounded very similar to rubbing. Kid stealthily made his way to the front door, trying to be as silent as the grave. He grabbed the doorknob, sighed nervously, and at the mental count of three, he flung the door open and cried while pointing his gun in the air, "Raise your hands, or I'll shoot you dead right this instant."

His threat was followed by a loud thump, and he felt cold water spurting over the front of his long johns top, and even his face. His expression changed from serious concern to astonishment when he saw Louise. She was actually raising her hands over her head, a wet rag held strongly in her right one, the water dripping from the cloth onto her shoulder. "Lou?" Kid exclaimed as he lowered his gun. "What the heck are you doing? I thought you were a thief! I could've killed you!"

Lou lowered her hands awkwardly and looked down. "I'm sorry," she muttered, and stooped to pick up the water pail she had dropped in the commotion. "I was just… cleaning."

"Cleaning?" Kid echoed as if she was speaking an unintelligible language.

Louise left the bucket on the floor, and shifted her gaze to him, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "Yes… the windows. There was a rainstorm a couple of hours ago and… and … the window panes are all smeared with water."

"It must be three in the morning," Kid replied pointedly, and at Lou's indifferent shrug, he could not help but blurt out, "You're so odd…" As soon as the comment was out of his mouth, he regretted it, and hurried to apologize. "Please forgive me. I have no right to pass judgment on you. I imagine you're excited about your pa's visit. No wonder you can't sleep." Lou did not confirm or deny his words, and simply kept staring at him wide-eyed. Kid gave her a small smile, and added, "I better go back to bed. Please don't be out here too long, and try to get some shuteye yourself."

Kid turned on his heel, and as he was crossing the door, he heard Lou call his name. He stopped, and when Louise came closer, she said, "Can… can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Lou, it's late. Can't it wait till tomorrow?"

"Please, it won't take long. I just want to ask you something," she explained.

"All right then. Shoot."

Lou bit her lower lip, and paused, obviously debating with herself how to address the question that had been in her mind for days now. "Are … are you … are you gonna tell my father about… you know… about divorcing me?" she finally asked.

Kid was surprised by her question. In all this time Louise had never brought up the matter at all, and when he had first broached their situation, she had not said a word either for or against it. Kid actually did not know how she felt about the whole thing, and wondered why all of a sudden she wanted to talk, especially at this ungodly time of the night. "I dunno," he said after a few seconds. "I really should. We can't pretend this is a real marriage, and your father ain't a fool… he'll notice. I think it'll be better for all of us if we bring the matter into the open."

Lou lowered her eyes, and started wringing her hands. Kid was not sure if she looked sad or satisfied, but her next words told him she had not liked his answer. "You told me we should wait a few months before sorting this out. You know, this is our problem… our situation, nobody else's, not even my father's."

"But he's your only family… he needs to know… he'll learn about it sooner or later."

Lou kept silent for a few seconds, and then she dared to lift her eyes and face his. "Kid, I… I know I mean nothing to you, but I… I'm asking… this is the only thing I'll ever ask you. Please don't tell my father… at least not yet."

"But why?"

"I have my reasons," Lou replied. "Please. I'm not even asking you to lie. Just keep quiet about it, and if he asks you how we are doing, just say we're still settling down. That ain't a lie. It's actually true." Kid kept quiet, and thinking he was still unconvinced, Lou insisted, "Please, Kid. I'll do anything for you, anything." A shudder coursed all over her body, which she disregarded, as she added, "Please do me this one and only favor. I beg you."

Kid did not know why she was so adamant to hide the true situation of their marriage from her father. This was the only thing that had made her come out of her shell so far, and in these five minutes she had spoken more words than in the two months they had been married. Kid was suspicious, and wanted to know her reasons, but it was clear she would not tell. After what had happened with his father and Doritha, Kid hated and was tired of secrecy and half-truths. In any case, it was true. Lou had never asked him for anything, and Kid had to admit she had been good to him. Shouldn't she have the benefit of the doubt? She deserved a token of his appreciation, so after a few seconds, he finally relented, and nodded in agreement to her request.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 23**

The following day Kid rode to town to receive Lou's father, who was coming on the stagecoach. That morning at breakfast Louise had relapsed into her usual quiet mood, but Kid could tell she was nervous about her father's visit. He could not blame her. Even though she had tried to deny it, Kid imagined she missed her pa. No doubt she wanted to make his stay as pleasant as possible. Kid had also noticed that the house shone more brightly than he had ever seen it, and as soon as breakfast was over, Lou had scurried away and run around the house, making sure everything was clean and in order.

Kid reflected that her request the night before was not as odd as he had first thought. She surely did not want to disappoint her father, telling him that the marriage he had arranged for her was a total failure. Maybe in some strange way the success of their marriage was like a personal challenge of hers. As far as Kid had seen, Lou was a perfectionist. Why else would she then be cleaning the windows at three o'clock in the morning? Naturally, it was clear that Lou loved him as much as he loved her, that is, nothing at all, but maybe she was one of those people who could not allow herself to fail, and she now wanted to put off the moment of admitting her failure before her father. Kid could understand that to a certain point, but the truth was that she was quite peculiar.

The stagecoach pulled over in front of Rock Creek's hotel on time, and a smiling John Boggs came out and greeted Kid with a hug. After Boggs had checked in at the hotel, and hired a horse, the two men started off towards the farm. The horses cantered side by side, and Boggs asked, "How's my daughter?"

"She's fine."

"Is she behaving properly?" Boggs asked again, and as Kid frowned at the question, the man let out a loud peal of laughter, bending his head backwards. "Look at me. Pathetic, ain't I? I still find it hard to believe my Louise is a grown-up married woman. You know, no matter how much time goes by, she'll always be my little girl."

"It's logical," Kid agreed.

"You'll feel the same when you have children of your own," Boggs remarked. Kid kept quiet, uncomfortable at the comment, and the man added, "She was sometimes a difficult girl… quite the tomboy actually, even before her mother died. I guess I am to blame. Because of my businesses my place is always swarming with men, so Louise has grown up in quite a masculine environment." Boggs smiled as he talked. Kid wondered what his father-in-law did for a living. He knew he was a rich businessman, but was not sure what specific field he worked in. After a brief pause, Boggs continued, "I tried to show her how to behave like a lady, but it ain't easy for a lone man."

"I think you've done a good job," Kid replied sincerely. He had not seen anything that made him think otherwise. Lou was a lady in every sense of the word, and nobody could disagree with that.

Boggs nodded, accepting the praise. "She's never been too receptive to my teachings, though. I tried to teach her how to ride like a woman should, for example, but at the first chance she slipped into a pair of pants, and jumped onto a horse astride."

Kid grinned, matching Boggs' amusement at the memory. "And she's a natural rider," the rider remarked. "I've seen her on a horse, and she really impressed me."

"You mean to tell me she still wears those filthy pants and rides like a man?" Boggs asked, his amusement turning into open concern.

"Uh… yeah… sometimes… only sometimes," he replied awkwardly, wondering if he should not have mentioned any of this to Boggs.

Boggs shook his head sullenly. "Oh God!" he exclaimed unhappily. "Kid, you should stop her. She's now your wife and your responsibility."

"But I don't really mind," Kid replied. If Lou wanted to ride in men's pants, why shouldn't she? That was just harmless fun, and she deserved to have some time for herself after the hard work she did around the farm.

"You should mind, Kid," Boggs insisted. "She's a married woman, and needs to care about propriety. What will people say if she exposes herself like that?" Kid thought that he could not care less about people's opinions, especially because Lou was not doing anything wrong. Yet, he didn't express his views and kept quiet. "There are certain things a woman can't be allowed to do. Remember, your wife's doings can soil your reputation."

"I… I guess," Kid agreed vaguely.

"I still remember when she had the crazy idea she wanted to learn how to use a gun," Boggs carried on in his tirade. "Can you believe it? Totally nuts. Well, let me tell you I have the suspicion she went behind my back, and got one of my employees to teach her." Kid remained silent, not wanting to confirm the man's suspicions. Kid imagined Boggs would not like to know he was right, and the rider did not want to upset him with something that Kid did not think was such a big deal.

"You know what they say. A child is a blessed headache," Boggs added, changing to joviality once again. "You'll agree with me when you become a father."

Kid just nodded, and the two men relapsed into silence for the rest of the ride to the farm. When they trotted into the property, Louise came out of the house. She remained on the porch, waiting for the two men to stop the horses, and come to her. In silence her bright eyes met her father's when he approached. "Aren't you going to hug your pa?" Boggs asked pointedly when she stayed unmoving on the spot.

The sound of his voice startled Louise out of the torpor she seemed to be in. "Of course," she replied in a soft voice, and quickly went to him. She tentatively wrapped her arms around her father, and Boggs reciprocated her gesture, and tenderly stroked her hair. Kid smiled on witnessing the sweet scene between father and daughter, and wished he could have some of that. The excruciating pain of his parents' absence became more palpable today, hitting him powerfully, and he felt as though all the air had been squeezed out of his lungs. How he wished they were here. Kid would even be ready to forget about his father's deceit. All he wanted was for his ma and pa to be fine and alive, but sadly, that could never happen.

Kid pushed his thoughts and pain to the back of his mind as he followed Lou and her father into the house. They walked into the living room, and while the men settled down on the sofas, Lou brought back from the kitchen a tray with the tea set and a side dish with cookies. She poured the hot brew into the delicate china cups, and when she sat down in the lonely armchair by the fireplace, Boggs said, "I brought you both presents.

"John, you shouldn't have bothered," Kid replied.

Boggs ignored his son-in-law's protest, and from his jacket pocket he produced a flask, which he held on his palm high in the air as if on display. "This is for you, Louise," he said with a smile, and when Lou remained still in her seat, he urged her, "Come and take it, girl. It won't walk to you, will it?"

Lou slowly rose to her feet, and took the flask in her hands. "Eau de cologne," she whispered. "Thank you, sir."

"And yours is in the horse saddle," Boggs added, addressing Kid, and before anybody could say anything else, he quickly ran out to retrieve whatever he had brought Kid. The Southerner cast Lou a quizzical look and a smile when they were left alone, but she simply kept a serious expression. Kid had not seen John put anything on his horse, and now he was curious. Boggs returned a couple of minutes later, carrying a long object wrapped in a cloth. "Here," he said, handing Kid the present. When the young man removed the cloth, his mouth dropped in surprise when he discovered a shiny, brand-new rifle, and all Kid was able to utter was an exclamation.

"It's a beauty, ain't it?" Boggs said with a smile. "The army uses them, and you can't get one of these for less that $100."

"This is too much," Kid muttered, running his hand over the length of the gun. "You shouldn't…"

"Nonsense," Boggs cut him off. "That's a good gun, and you need one to defend your home and my daughter." He paused, and shifted his eyes from Kid. "Anything you want to share with us, sweetheart?"

At his words, Kid turned to look at Lou. Her pale face was flustered, and her lips pressed tightly together as if she was refraining herself from uttering a single sound. Kid had the impression that she was upset or angry about something, but then as she stared back at the two men, her expression transformed completely. A shy, tiny smile set on her lips, and she breathed in deep as she said, "Nothing… I… I… I guess I better start cooking lunch."

"Go then," Boggs replied curtly.

Lou scurried out of the lounge hurriedly, looking as if she could not get out of the place fast enough. Kid thought her attitude was bizarre, to say the least. She had hardly exchanged a word with her father, and Kid had imagined that she would want to hog him and his attention from the moment he landed in Rock Creek. Things were obviously not like that. Then his memory traveled back to those days when he had first met Lou and her father, and he remembered she had acted pretty much in the same way, kind of aloof and silent. In fact, that was the way she usually behaved around him, so why should he be surprised?

When they were left alone, Boggs' voice snapped Kid out of his thoughts. "You seem to be miles away."

Kid grinned at being caught red-handed. "I guess I was. Just thinking."

Boggs nodded. "Things hadn't been easy, had they?" he remarked, eyeing the Southerner warily. Kid looked back in wonder and surprise, thinking that his words referred to his busted marriage. He had promised Lou he would not say a word to her father, but maybe he had guessed things right. "I mean… I heard about your parents. I can't start telling you how sorry I am."

"Oh…" Kid let out clumsily. "Thanks." He paused, debating with himself whether he should mention something that still bothered him. "That was the worst moment in my life, but … but that didn't come alone."

"What do you mean?" Boggs asked curiously.

"The fields I worked so hard on got ruined in the torrential rain, and… and… I discovered my father had lied to me… about the reason why I should marry your daughter," Kid finally let out.

Boggs shifted on the sofa uncomfortable, and took a sip of his tea. "I didn't agree with his proceedings, but that wasn't my business." Kid nodded, and Boggs added, "In any case, it doesn't matter now, does it? You and my daughter are married, and you can't complain your father didn't get you a good match. He's now dead, and what good does it do you to mull over something that is in the past?"

"I guess you're right," Kid admitted reluctantly. He did not think the matter was unimportant and he should forget about it, but he realized he better stop now. His promise to Lou would be jeopardized if he continued talking.

"So what were you saying about the fields?" Boggs asked, skillfully changing the subject of the conversation.

"A month ago it rained so much that the fields were flooded, and the crops ruined," the Southerner explained, feeling embittered as he cast his mind back to the unpleasant episode. "The land will probably be fit again in a couple of months. Anyway, I now have a good job… with the Pony Express."

At this new piece of information, Boggs seemed to be surprised. "As a rider?" Kid nodded, and his father-in-law asked again, "Isn't the job a bit dangerous?"

"Well… yes… but, you know, everything has an element of risk in life," Kid simply replied.

The older man laughed, obviously pleased by Kid's words. "That's absolutely true! And I'm glad to see you have the guts and spunk to do such a job. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't have pictured you like the type to do so." He laughed again, and added, "You know, you're making history! The newspapers are full of stories about the Pony Express young riders. I even heard Wild Bill Hickok is stationed here in Rock Creek."

"Uh… you heard right, but he… Jimmy doesn't like being called that name. Most of what people say about him is untrue or exaggerated tales."

"Really?" Boggs replied, and after keeping thoughtful for a while, he added dreamily, "It'd be so nice to have the chance to meet all our present-day national heroes."

"If you want… that can be easily arranged. We've always talked about them coming to dinner here, and the occasion hasn't arisen yet. Maybe this is the perfect opportunity."

"My, it seems my perspectives for this stay are looking up," Boggs remarked with a satisfied smile. "No doubt. I'm gonna enjoy being here more than I thought. Yes… I'm gonna have the time of my life."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 24**

"It's a real pleasure to meet you all," Boggs said with a smile as his eyes swept around the living room where a little crowd, formed by the Express family, gathered that evening.

"The pleasure is ours," Buck replied courteously, echoing everybody's feelings.

"You really have a nice place here, Kid," Jimmy remarked, looking around the room appreciatively.

"And it was high time you invited us over," Cody added with a smug smirk, patting the Southerner on the back. "You know, I never say no to a free meal."

"Boys, remember, my daughter's cooking, and she ain't the best of cooks… not even average," Boggs replied with an ample smile.

Cody shrugged with indifference, and, disconcerted, Kid turned to look at his father-in-law. What John was saying was not right. Kid had no complaints about Lou's cooking whatsoever. Maybe she was not as good a cook as Rachel, but that did not mean Louise was much worse. Actually, Kid thought he enjoyed the dishes that his wife prepared for him every day, and when he praised her cooking, he was always honest.

Kid opened his mouth to contradict Boggs' words, but before he could do so, Rachel stepped in, "Speaking of Louise, where is she?"

"In the kitchen," Kid replied. "She's been working hard all day to put together a nice meal, and I'm sure we'll enjoy it."

"If you'll excuse me, I'll go and see if I can give her a hand," Rachel offered, and instantly left the men alone in the living room.

When the station mistress was gone, Kid turned to the men. "Can I get you something to drink while we wait for dinner?" He paused to look at Teaspoon purposefully, and then added, "There's no alcohol in this house, but Lou has made a delicious apple juice."

"I guess that'll have to do," Cody mumbled without much enthusiasm.

"Don't grumble, son," Teaspoon said in a light tone. "You know well the oath you took to join this company, but of course you're free to explore other interests of yours. The door's open, and you just need to quit."

Cody rolled his eyes. "Maybe I should quit," he muttered under his breath, which luckily for him, Teaspoon did not hear.

"I'll get you the drinks," Kid said, putting an end to the bantering. "And please make yourselves at home, and don't stand there… you know, there are seats," he added, cocking his eyebrows pointedly.

Jimmy followed Kid to help him with the drinks while the rest of the men settled on the sofa and chairs in the living room. Silence fell in the room, which was soon broken by Teaspoon's deep voice. "You have a charming daughter if I may so."

"Thank you," Boggs replied, leaning back on the sofa rest to get into a more comfortable position. "My wife and I always tried to do our best with our children… even when I had too many responsibilities that kept me really busy."

"Kid told us you run your own business," Buck remarked breezily.

"Yes, that's right."

"What kind of business, Mr. Boggs?" Teaspoon enquired.

"Uh… imports and exports," the man simply replied.

"What is that?" Noah asked curious.

"Oh you know, selling and buying. We send our national products overseas, and bring theirs to the country."

"What kinds of things?" Cody asked this time.

Boggs hesitated for a second. "Most everything actually." His audience was staring at him, obviously expecting a more detailed answer, so the man added, "You know, spirits and… and…"

At that moment Kid and Jimmy returned with the drinks, cutting the conversation short. Drinks were handed round, but when Kid stretched the glass of apple juice to Boggs, the man lifted his hand in polite turndown. "No, thanks. I'd rather have some fresh water," Boggs said. "But don't worry. I'll go get it from the kitchen myself."

When Boggs stepped into the kitchen, Rachel was alone, stirring the contents of a saucepan on the stove. When she saw him, she smiled. "If you're looking for your daughter, she just went to the barn. Won't be long."

"I just came for some water, Miss Dunne," he replied, filling a glass, and quenching his thirst.

"It's Mrs.," the station mistress corrected him. "But please call me Rachel."

"Please forgive me for the blunder," Boggs apologized sincerely. "Couldn't your husband make it here today?"

Rachel cast down her eyes. "Henry passed away…" she whispered. "So yes, you could say he couldn't make it today," she added, in an attempt to prevent her mood from drooping, but failing miserably.

"I'm sorry," Boggs said, looking straight into her sad eyes. "Do… do you have children?" Rachel shook her head sadly, and he added, "Kids are said to alleviate the pain of losing your life companion… but maybe the correct line would be that they rather distract the pain, because it really never goes away."

"I heard what happened to your wife and children. I'm awfully sorry."

Boggs pressed his lips together in a troubled expression. "We've both been struck by sheer bad luck. Nobody can understand this burning emptiness better than somebody who's gone through the same, can they?"

Rachel nodded, feeling a strong connection with the man. He was totally right, and it was comforting to talk to a person who could understand her fears, her tears, and her loneliness. "It's too hard."

"It is indeed."

"I imagine it must've been difficult for you to let go of Louise," Rachel remarked with a sad smile.

"Well, I do believe that I haven't lost a daughter, but gained a son," Boggs replied. "And one day grandchildren will start arriving."

From what Kid had said, Rachel knew that the odds for this man to get grandchildren were almost nonexistent, but she couldn't actually know if things might work out in the end for the couple. Of course Rachel had no right to say anything, and she just smiled encouragingly while saying, "That'll be just great."

* * *

Light conversation flowed at the dinner table, generously sprinkled by laughter and high spirits as the riders told story after story of their adventures and mishaps. Boggs was clearly enjoying himself if his loud guffaws were any evidence to go by. His cheerful disposition sharply contrasted with Lou's serious countenance. She kept her attention directed to the food she was eating, and did not seem to be listening to a word of what was being said at the table. Kid kept looking her way, wondering what was wrong with her. That was not the way she had behaved the day she went to the station, but today she acted totally aloof. Kid could not understand why she behaved this way, or why she did not join the mirth. Just for propriety she should at least pretend she was interested. Kid knew she was shy and too quiet, but she was beyond weird. Who couldn't crack a tiny smile by just listening to Cody's exaggerated accounts?

"I can see all those stories in the newspapers are true," Boggs remarked, sharing a smile with Rachel, who was sitting by his side. "The Pony Express riders are national heroes."

"I know nothing about that," Noah said matter-of-factly.

"We just do the job," Buck added.

"And Teaspoon sometimes deputizes us when the need arises, but that ain't always as thrilling as it sounds," Jimmy concluded.

"So if you need your riders to help you, I imagine that Rock Creek must be a magnet for trouble then," Boggs remarked.

"Well, things ain't that bad now," Teaspoon replied. "When we first moved here, the town was severed, and confrontations between abolitionists and pro-slavery citizens were common. The town was mayhem and a hotbed of violence. Thankfully, things have sobered down, and are now even humdrum."

"Aren't you into anything now?" Boggs continued his questioning.

"I'm afraid there's nothin' much going on. I told ya, too calm and borin'."

"There's the Mr. X business, remember, Teaspoon?" Cody reminded his boss.

Boggs cleared his throat and lowered his eyes when he heard the rider. "Mr. X?" he echoed in a low voice.

"Well, that's a foreign matter," Teaspoon replied dismissively, chuckling at the same time. "I mean, it's nothin' to do with this town. It's just a little job in cooperation with the army and the lawmen in this area."

"It doesn't sound so little to me," Boggs remarked.

"I guess not, but I'm just playin' a small part actually."

"That name… Mr. X… it sounds quite enigmatic," Boggs continued, lifting his eyes towards Teaspoon again.

"That's just a goofy nickname… for a gunrunner who's escaped the law for years," the marshal explained.

"Any progress in the investigation, Teaspoon?" Kid asked, and, as he glimpsed across the table, he noticed Lou's attention seemed to have perked up. She was looking at Teaspoon expectantly as if she was interested in hearing what the marshal had to say.

"There's somethin'… a scent to follow, at least," Teaspoon explained. "Apparently, this Mr. X is suspected to have been a neighbor in Willow Springs. His identity's still a mystery, but there is another thread to pull… his family."

Suddenly, the sound of something cracking cut Teaspoon's account short, and everybody turned to see Louise had knocked down her glass of water, breaking it in the process. The liquid ran over the surface of the table, wetting the beautiful cloth Louise had dressed the table with, and even some of it fell onto the floor. "Oh I… I'm sorry… I'm so clumsy," Lou apologized, hurriedly wiping the water on the table with her own napkin.

"Don't worry, Louise," Rachel said as everybody helped the girl to sponge the water from the tablecloth with their napkins. "It could happen to anybody."

Louise crouched by her chair and wiped the little water that had fallen onto the floor too. "I'm sorry," she whispered once again.

"Sweetheart, remember you're not a child now."

From her cowering position, she lifted her gaze to meet her father's. He was shaking his head in obvious displeasure, and a familiar glint in his eyes told Lou everything she had to know. Louise lowered her eyes, and when the floor was dry, she straightened up, and sat back down at the table. As she wrapped the broken glass in a dry napkin, Boggs seemed not to have forgotten the conversation before the interruption.

"So, Marshal Hunter, the next step is going after this fella's family?" he asked.

Teaspoon shook his head. "That was the plan, but apparently, accordin' to Sheriff Martin, there's a lot of contradictory information about this man's family… too many scents for just one nose." Teaspoon paused, and then added, "Anyway, we've found out about the whereabouts of one of his thugs: Red Peters. He's now in Blue Creek, and it's just a question of time and patience for Sheriff Martin and his deputies to fall on him."

"And he'll lead you to Mr. X…" Boggs added.

"Hopefully yes," Teaspoon replied with a smile.

"A very interesting story, very interesting indeed," Boggs remarked, and his eyes turned to find his daughter's. At his intense stare Lou lowered her gaze back to her plate as a shiver coursed all over her body.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 25**

Louise stopped her buggy, and jumped off it. After securing the wagon to a hitching post, she took the basket from the back and started down Rock Creek's main street. It was a bitter cold day and Louise wrapped her coat more tightly around her petite body. The howling wind increased the feeling of cold and managed to slip into any small gap that it found on its way. The air smelled of snow, and it would not come as a surprise if today the town welcomed the first flakes in the late autumn.

Lou directed her steps towards the general store with the intention of buying some provisions. Her larder was in dire need of being refilled, especially if she wanted to cook dinner for her husband tonight. Lou was not sure if her father would show up at all. Since the day Kid's co-workers had visited a couple of days ago, she had not seen her father again. Apparently, he was not in Rock Creek for social formalities, but the main reason of his visit was to wind down some business dealings whatever that meant. Lou did not care what he did, and in fact, she was glad that he was not around that much. His presence made her nervous, and the mere knowledge that he was in the city was enough to perturb her. Lou was so looking forward to seeing him leave, and only then would she recover the peace of mind she had enjoyed before his arrival.

"Louise!"

The sound of her name made Lou stop and look back. A few yards from where she was, Rachel was waving at her, and when Lou waved back, the station mistress ran to meet her. "Good morning, Louise," the station mistress greeted her warmly.

"How are you, Rachel?"

"Fine thanks," the woman replied. "I'm so glad to find you here. I was actually thinking of dropping by your farm to talk with you."

Louise frowned in wonder. "Talk with me?"

"Yes, that's right. First, I don't think I thanked you for such a nice dinner at your home the other day."

Lou gave a weak smile, which disappeared almost instantly, and lowered her eyes. "It was nothing… nothing. I'm well aware I can't manage too well in the kitchen."

"Don't say that!" Rachel exclaimed. "It was lovely! The soup was delicious, the meat so tender and tasty, and the dessert… that was something to die for."

"You're too kind," Lou replied, glancing up.

Rachel stared at the young woman, not understanding her reluctance to accept a well-deserved compliment. The words Rachel had uttered were not out of kindness. It was the truth, but she suspected that she could not convince Louise easily, and they could well be discussing the matter all day long. So she tried from another perspective. "That was why you were so quiet? Because you were nervous we didn't like your food?"

"Uh… I'm not really a very chatty person, but well… yes… I guess I was a bit jittery too," Lou admitted even though the reason for her demeanor that day was much more complex.

"When you get to know the boys and Teaspoon better, you'll realize there's no reason to feel nervous," Rachel remarked with a wide smile. Lou nodded slowly, and for a few seconds the two women kept quiet. Rachel then cleared her throat. Now it was her turn to get nervous, and after that silent pause, she mustered the courage to release what was bugging her. "I also wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Yes?"

"About… about your father," Rachel blurted out.

Lou's face suddenly looked very scared, and she stared at the station mistress in horror as if expecting the worst. "My father? What about my father? Did… something happen?" She did not want to imagine what Rachel might possibly want, and thinking of the possibilities made her tremble.

"Oh no! Nothing happened to him," Rachel hurried to soothe Louise. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't think how my words sounded. Please forgive me."

Rachel did not manage to soothe Lou's fears. "What about my father?" Lou repeated in a voice that sounded too harsh.

The station mistress smiled again, and breathed in before she spoke up. "This is so awkward," she whispered almost to herself. "The other day at your place your father and I kind of hit it off. We… we talked… it was a nice conversation, and you can well imagine how lonely one feels when you don't have anybody who can understand you."

Lou nodded. Of course she knew how lonely it could actually get. She had first-hand experience, but it was true that loneliness came second in line when other matters took up your mind. Louise did not say a word about her musings and kept listening to Rachel.

"Yesterday… yesterday… he came over, we did some more talking, and … and he invited me to dinner… on Saturday."

"I see," Louise let out in obvious surprise. "You and my father."

"Don't get me wrong. There's nothing going on between us. We happen to have a similar background history, and we understand each other," Rachel explained. "But… but… I just knew I had to talk to you."

"My father's a grown man, and he can do as he pleases," Lou replied matter-of-factly. "He doesn't need my blessing."

"Yes… but I wouldn't feel good if you didn't approve of our friendship."

Lou hesitated. "It's… it's fine, but he's leaving in three days."

"Yes, I know," Rachel replied. "And believe me, we're just friends. I don't want you to get the wrong idea; that's why I wanted to clear the air with you." Louise nodded, and Rachel smiled, stretching her arm to give Lou's hand an affectionate squeeze. The station mistress really meant every word she had uttered. She was not interested in John or any man romantically, at least, what she now wanted was a wholesome friendship. Maybe in the future she might consider things from another perspective, and if that possibility might arise, she had better leave everything clear from the start. She liked Louise, and even though she couldn't tell they were friends, Rachel would hate to be at odds with her because of confusing half-truths.

The sound of hooves dangerously close startled Rachel, and as she looked up, Teaspoon appeared on his horse, and stopped before them. The marshal eased off his mount, and courteously tilted his head to the ladies. "Rachel, I was on my way to the station to let you know I'm headin' off."

"Where to?"

"Blue Creek," Teaspoon replied. "Remember what I told ya about the man who might lead us to Mr. X?" Rachel nodded, and the marshal continued, "I got a letter just now from Sheriff Martin. He's been murdered. Seems somebody got wind of our plans, and did him in before he could fess up."

"Oh I'm so sorry."

"Sheriff Martin's called a meetin'. I'll be back in a few days," Teaspoon explained. "Can you please fill me in at the station, and tell the boys to take turns to keep an eye on Barnett?"

"Sure. Don't worry," Rachel replied. "And please ride safe."

The marshal nodded to the ladies politely, taking his leave. He got on his horse, and spurred into a trot. Lou and Rachel kept watching the marshal and his mount disappear in the distance. The station mistress shook her head slowly as she muttered, "I don't know how my nerves can take all this worrying." She turned to look at Lou, and smiled. "You're lucky that at least your father ain't in danger's way continuously. Saves you a lot of headaches." The look that Louise gave her confused and intrigued Rachel, and she could not help but ask, "Anything wrong, Louise?"

"Uh… no… nothing, I… I … I think I better go now."

"Oh yes, please forgive me for holding you up," Rachel exclaimed, chuckling at her own clumsiness. After a rash goodbye, Lou almost ran away, and the station mistress remained on the spot deep in thought. She could understand what Kid had told her about his wife. Louise was actually an enigmatic character, and her behavior was baffling to say the least. Rachel wondered if Lou had been honest about not minding if her father pursued Rachel's friendship. Maybe in fact she did mind, and was upset and disapproving, or maybe there was nothing there. In any case, Rachel thought Louise was a strange girl… very strange, and who could know what was in her mind? Apparently, only her, because for the rest of the world she was totally, absolutely inscrutable.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 26**

The crackling of the kindling lapped and stroked by the flames in the fireplace broke the silence in the room. Kid comfortably leaned back in his favorite armchair, a cup of steaming coffee nestling in his hands, his crossed legs stretched across the wooden floor, and his eyes focused on the dancing fire. After a copious meal, he loved to relax in his lounge, which he usually did with the sole company of his thoughts, but tonight, he was not alone.

After dinner, Lou had complained of a splitting headache, and went straight to bed. Kid reflected that lately his wife was acting even more oddly than usual. Kid could not put his finger on what it was exactly, but there was something that was not right. She constantly had a strange expression on her face, as if scared, as if she was expecting something bad to happen. Maybe what she feared was that he would tell her father about their certain divorce in the near future. Kid had not said a word, and did not plan to do so. He had made a promise, and for a man of honor as he was, that was sacred. In any case, Kid did not understand her dread. John was a friendly, approachable man, and he surely would accept her daughter was not happy in a loveless marriage, and something had to be done.

That night Boggs had come to dinner. It was his last night in Rock Creek, and logically he wanted to spend it with his daughter. During dinner, Lou had kept to herself like every single day, and since she had turned in early, her father had not had much of a chance to enjoy her presence. In truth, Kid thought, they had not seen Boggs much these days, and it was not Lou's fault. His business dealings had kept him busy, and he had also spent a great deal of time with Rachel. Kid suspected his father-in-law was sweet on the station mistress, and the feeling was probably mutual. Rachel kept saying that they were just good friends, but Kid had seen the looks passing between the pair, and there was no doubt that there was something deeper than just friendship.

"Time really flies," Boggs piped up, breaking the comforting silence.

"Yes, it's true."

"I wish I could stay longer. We haven't had much of a chance to talk, have we?" Boggs continued.

"You're right," Kid agreed with his father-in-law again.

"I haven't even been able to ask you about my daughter."

Kid turned to look at Boggs with a surprised frown. "About Louise? What about her?"

"You've been married for two months, and I'm curious to know how you two are getting along."

Kid bit his lower lip. His promise to Lou meant he would have to lie to John. She had said he would not have to be totally untrue, but before opening his mouth to answer the question, Kid already felt like a liar. "Things are… fine… yes, fine. We're just settling down," he said, repeating the sentence Lou had told him to use.

Boggs nodded approvingly. "And are there any possibilities that a baby would soon be on its way?"

The question took Kid off guard. He did not expect to be asked something so personal. In the world he came from that was unthinkable. It would be considered totally improper to mention or be curious about what happened between a married couple behind closed doors. Nobody would dare to ask such a blatant question, not even within the family.

"Uh… no, I don't think so," Kid stammered awkwardly.

At his answer Boggs' face fell in disappointment. "How come?"

"I… I… well, things are slow between us. We're just getting to know each other," Kid replied with downcast eyes, trying to hide the blush flaming his whole face.

"What do you mean by that?" Boggs exclaimed, his tone of voice rising. "Is my daughter refusing to do her duty as your wife?"

"No… no, it ain't that!" Kid promptly replied in a louder tone. "It's just… well… Lou and I hardly know each other. In Virginia proper courtship usually goes on for at least six months before a couple is allowed to marry. We didn't have the chance to court properly."

"We ain't in Virginia, Kid."

"I know," Kid whispered. "I… I respect your daughter… she deserves all my respect."

"She's your wife, and has a duty to you," Boggs stated firmly. "Forget about courtship, and all those silly conventions. You're married, and marriage means family… making a family and that can't happen by just holding hands." Kid blushed even more, and as he still looked unconvinced, the man continued, "Kid, I'm a no-nonsense man, and like to call a spade a spade. Let me tell you something; in bed all women are the same." At his bluntness Kid was obviously shocked, and Boggs chuckled at the expression on the young man's face. "And you can't expect my daughter to be as knowledgeable and ardent as Violet. She's after all a professional."

Kid's eyes almost popped out as this new piece of information registered in his mind. Kid had always thought that the idea of hiring a prostitute the night before his wedding had come from his father, and now it turned out it was John's doing. "Was it you? You hired her for me?"

Boggs snickered amused. "I imagined you were a green horn, and well, a man needs to lead when… you know… when dancing." Boggs grinned, and after a brief pause he continued, "There's nothing more humiliating and embarrassing than to act lost when you're supposed to know the way."

"_More embarrassing than this? I doubt it,"_ Kid thought, but did not voice his feelings.

"Kid, I know there ain't love in your marriage, but that doesn't mean anything," Boggs continued. "Louise is your wife, and you need to show her you're the man here, and demand her duties to you."

"But… but I can't force her!" Kid exclaimed, horrified by the thought.

Boggs raised his right eyebrow with curiosity. "You said she wasn't refusing," he said pointedly.

"She's not."

"But she ain't offering either, is she?"

Kid lowered his eyes again. The point of embarrassment had crossed all limits of propriety, and never before had he had such an uncomfortable conversation. All he wanted was to end it as soon as possible.

"Do you want me to talk to her? I can have a word with her tomorrow before leaving," Boggs said.

"No… please no. We'll work it out," Kid exclaimed, appalled. The last thing he needed was for Lou to know that her father and her husband had talked about matters that should only concern her behind her back. Kid thought he would die of embarrassment and shame if she got wind of it.

"All right then. I trust you," Boggs said, smiling. "You know, I dream of the day you present me with my first grandson."

Kid did not say anything. He felt terrible because this man's hope would not take place, and the day he and Lou announced their divorce, Boggs' dreams would be shattered. There was no way he would consider lying with Lou. That was unthinkable. Their marriage was nothing but a fake façade hiding just emptiness. Kid was sorry Boggs would not get his longed-for grandchildren any sooner, but that did not mean they would not come eventually. Louise could remarry one day, and have the children her father desired so much.

"Look at the time!" Boggs exclaimed as he had a glimpse at the clock on the wall. "I should be on my way."

Kid walked his father-in-law to the door. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"I ain't sure yet," Boggs replied. "I'm riding this time… I got a good horse this morning. Anyway, I'll come by to say good bye before departing."

"I don't think you'll find me," Kid added. "I have a ride tomorrow."

"So we better say goodbye now," Boggs concluded. Both men hugged briefly and then John said, "Thanks for everything. I hope we can see each other again soon."

Kid nodded, and simply added, "And ride safe."

Boggs smiled thankfully, and as he started walking away, he said, "And remember what I told you. Be the man."

Kid sighed tiredly, and as he closed the door, he shook his head as if clearing his mind of the muddle he got into just now. It was time he called it a day. After his conversation with Boggs, all he wanted was to bury his head under the blankets and forget the most uncomfortable moment in his whole life.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 27**

Humming a tune, Louise finished the washing-up after breakfast, and dried her hands on her apron. Today she felt in high spirits, and her mouth widened into a smile. Yet, as she casually threw a glimpse out of the window, her humming stopped, her face stiffened, and a curse escaped her lips. "Damn it!"

No sooner had the expletive come out than Lou ran out of the kitchen door, snatching the laundry basket from a cupboard. Rain was pouring down, which would surely drench all her laundry that was drying on the lines if she did not hurry. In no time did Louise collect all the hung clothes, throwing them carelessly into the basket. Some of them were already damp, but she would now leave them to dry in front of the fireplace. Once all the clothes were collected, she made her way to the house. Her hair and the clothes she was wearing were wet, and she felt the bitter cold penetrate her bones.

Walking the length of the kitchen, Louise headed for the living room. On opening the door, she jumped startled when she came upon a standing figure she did not expect. Her right hand pressed her chest as she breathed out. "You startled me," she whispered.

Boggs turned his eyes to his daughter. Like usual, he was dressed in one of his impeccable suits, a bowler hat covered his head, and his gloved hands were holding a riding crop, which he softly kept tapping against his left palm. "I bought this house, and paid every single cent for it, so I have a right to walk in whenever I feel like it."

"Yes, father," Lou muttered as she put the laundry basket on top of a chair. Her hand took a handkerchief out of her apron pocket, and wiped her face. She could sense her father's eyes boring onto her, and felt ridiculous to appear all wet before him.

Boggs took a few steps closer, and glanced down at the pile of clothes in the basket. As he shifted his eyes to the young woman, the serious expression on his face told her that he was anything but happy. "Is this supposed to be your clean laundry?" Boggs asked dryly, picking up a pair of pants between his thumb and index finger as if he was holding a nauseous cockroach.

"Those are Kid's working pants. They're old, and the stains won't come out," Lou muttered even though she knew her explanation would fall on deaf ears.

Boggs dropped the garment, and shook his gloved hands together as if wanting to get rid of the dirt he supposedly had picked up. "Look, Louise," he spoke up again after a few seconds. "I ain't gonna say anything about the poor condition you keep this house, or how so much worse your cooking can get. I won't even mention your very unladylike habits… because we are already familiar with all that, aren't we?"

Lou nodded wryly, fearing where this conversation was leading. There was no doubt. She would not like any direction her father would take. It was old history. No matter what she did, nothing was good enough for him, and she did not know how to please him. Yet, Lou reflected, things were now different. She was a married woman, and he had no power over her anymore, did he?

"What I want to know is what's going on!" Boggs said loudly.

"Going on?" Lou repeated in a tiny voice.

"Yes… exactly. Last night I had a very interesting conversation with your husband," Boggs explained, his brilliant eyes showing his discontent.

Lou blanched. Had Kid told her father about the divorce? How could he let her down? He had promised not to tell, and she had believed him. But again, what would she expect? He was a man, and even though he seemed to be a decent one, his nature had spoken out for itself. Besides, why would he respect her wishes? She was nobody. Lou's cheeks burned hotly in a mixture of annoyance and fear, and a sharp coldness rushed over her whole body.

"Your husband complained to me that you don't sleep with him, and I want to hear what you have to say about it."

Lou's jaw dropped stunned. She had not expected this at all. Kid had complained about their lack of… intimacy? Why? That didn't make sense. He was the first one who had expressed his lack of interest and his refusal. Why would he complain now? What was this sick game of his?

"I'm waiting, Louise. I don't have all day."

Lou raised her eyes to him, and muttered sheepishly, "He doesn't want me."

"Bullshit!" Boggs barked angrily. "All men want that from women… from any woman. What's wrong with you then?"

"I don't know, Pa," Lou whispered.

"You don't know! You don't know!" Boggs repeatedly, unkindly mimicking her voice in jet. "You never know anything! You're nothing but a fool that's always showing me up."

His insults and doubts challenged her well-ingrained pride, and even though she knew she would be stepping on dangerous ground, she could not keep quiet. "I try to be a good wife to him. I am good to him."

"It's not enough!" Boggs barked even more loudly. "I'm so fed up with you. I sometimes wonder how someone like you even came from me and your mother. You're nothing like your poor siblings, not even your sister. I'm dead tired… tired of hearing nothing but complaints."

Louise felt the tears sting behind her eyelids, but she fought them. She wouldn't cry again before him; she wouldn't show him her weakness. This was the cruelest thing he had ever told her. Mentioning her dear mother and siblings as a way to hurt her was beyond heartless. Her pain soared, and her anger came unleashed. How could he blame her for something that was not her doing or fault?

"You were the one who forced me to marry him!" Lou growled furiously, unable to control her tongue and temper any longer. "How can I be a real wife when I know nothing about the man you married me off to! He's a stranger to me. I just know he hates my guts!"

"You're nothing but an ungrateful vixen! I got you a husband. No man would look at you twice, and I got you a husband!"

"I didn't want a husband! You sold me as if I were unwanted cattle! What kind of gratefulness do you expect from me? You traded me like you do in your business! You only care about yourself, nobody but yourself! And you know what, father? I also sometimes wonder if I'm actually related to you!"

The snap echoing in the room when his fist contacted with her cheek sounded as if a whip had cracked. Lou felt the familiar, metallic taste of blood in her mouth, but she was determined not to let him tyrannize her, not this time. He had lost the power to control her, and she would show him.

Lou lifted her chin up proudly as her eyes met his. "You have no right!" Louise barked, and without being aware of what she was doing, she pushed him with both hands, making Boggs stagger. "You have no right! You can't touch me! I now belong to my husband, not you!"

Lou knew the moment she saw her father sway that she had tempted her luck too much. She did not have to wait long to realize her instinct did not fail her. Boggs was red with sheer fury as he stretched his arm, and his hand grabbed her neck, almost choking Lou. "Your husband! Your husband!" he kept repeating while banging Lou's head against the wall behind her. "A husband that's an idiot who hardly has the brains to put on his pants every morning!"

With a strong push, he tossed her onto the floor. Her bones complained as she fell down, and as the air rushed into her again, she was overwhelmed by a fit of cough. Her body curled, and her arms moved to cover her head defensively. "Please, please," she whimpered when she could breathe better, fully aware that this was just the beginning.

"You don't sound so spunky now. Where's your bravado gone, Louise?" Boggs asked cynically as he picked up his riding crop, swinging it to and fro in the air.

The man took a few steps closer, his imposing figure hovering over Lou's pitiful, cocooned body. Lou almost felt his shadow fall over her, and she dared to lift her eyes. Her father was softly stroking the crop, and she knew exactly what was on his mind. "Please, Pa. Don't, please."

"Too late. You need a lesson," Boggs said, lifting the crop high in the air, and without a single contemplation he lashed his daughter with the leather crop over and over again. Despite Lou's desperate pleas and cries, he did not stop, and kept showing her his anger in a very evident way. When Lou's voice died out as well as her will power, Boggs threw the crop away across the room.

Lou was barely aware of her surroundings. Her body was in agonizing pain, and the room seemed to spin around her. Despite having her eyes shut, she noticed her father's figure next to her as he crouched. "Open your eyes!" he ordered as he took a handful of her hair, forcing her head to rise to him. "Hear me out!" he said in a strong, commanding voice. "I didn't get you a husband for your own recreation! I want a grandson, a proper heir to my wealth, and you owe me big! If you don't give me my grandson, I'll come back and kill you with my bare hands. That'd free Kid from a useless wife, and me from a burden!"

Boggs' hand let go of her, and Lou's already sore head painfully banged against the hard floor again. The man rose to his feet, straightened his clothes, and picked up his crop. He started towards the door, but as he took the knob, he kept thoughtful for a few seconds, and then retraced his steps. Lou noticed him crouch next to her again, and this time his hand gently came under her nape, and tilted her body to him. "Louise, you know I love you. I want the best for you, and that's why sometimes I'm a bit hard on you, sweetheart. If you mind me, you'll have a good life, because that's all I want for my favorite girl," he said gently, and bent over to kiss her forehead.

The kiss hurt more than all the blows she had received all together. She felt like gagging, and could not stand it. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me, and leave me alone!" she cried with a stronger voice she knew she had, and somehow she managed to muster her strength, and pushed him off her.

"Goodbye then, honey," Boggs said as he rose back to his feet, and walked to the door again, but before letting himself out, he added, "And tell Kid you just fell down the stairs. I imagine he already has a low opinion of you, and we don't want him to think you also enraged daddy, do we?"

"Just go!" Lou cried, feeling totally suffocated with each word he uttered.

The door slammed closed behind him almost at the same time that a loud wail escaped Lou's lips, and then the sobs started racking her frail, sore body. She was feeling lost, miserable, and too small. Why? Why? She kept repeating. Why did it hurt so much? She should already be used to his ways by now, but every time it hurt more and more as she became more and more aware of what she had and was not. The pain and shame prevented her from moving, and the tears trickled down her sore frame. Every single part of her body ached, but not as much as her dented, bruised soul. She wanted to die at this very moment, and prayed to all the saints to grant her wish. It is uncertain whether her pleas were heard, but her senses gradually became numb, and little by little she fell into a deep, long sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 28**

"Rider coming!" Rachel called as she spotted the outline of Kid and Katy riding into the station. Cody instantly came out, wiping his mouth, and grumbling something about having to cut his lunch short. The blonde rider jumped onto his mount, and kicked it into a gallop. The exchange of mochillas was performed smoothly, and in a few seconds Cody disappeared into the wide horizon.

Kid slid off his mare, and tethered it to one of the posts supporting the porch roof. Rachel came up to him. "Rough ride?"

"I've had worse," he replied, shaking the dust off his jacket.

"Are you heading home right away?" Rachel asked again.

"As soon as I have some water. My throat's parched."

"Do you mind if I tag along?" Rachel said, and at Kid questioning stare, she added, "I want to talk to Louise about something."

"Sure," Kid replied, but did not dare to ask anything further.

About fifteen minutes later they were heading for the ranch. Kid had hitched up a buckboard, and tied Katy at its back since he was driving the carriage. For a few moments he and Rachel were silent, sitting side by side on the wagon seat. After a while, Kid felt curious, and asked, "So what do you want to talk to my wife about?"

Rachel smiled, and a subtle blush colored her pale skin. "Uh… nothing special… I just want to have a little talk… that's all."

Kid grinned knowingly. "About her father?"

Rachel's face flushed even more in silent acknowledgement. "We kinda agreed to keep in touch by mail, but in the end he forgot to leave his address."

"Are you so eager to write to him? He just left today," Kid couldn't help to comment teasingly.

"Kid!" Rachel exclaimed, swatting his shoulder and pretending to be offended.

"Just joking, don't take it to heart," Kid replied with a conciliatory smile. "But nobody can deny you two get along superbly."

"He's a good man," Rachel said, beaming. "For the first time since Henry died I've felt that strange connection with somebody again. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with romance… all I know is that John is a person that makes me feel completely at ease. He's so tender, and funny, and a good listener."

Rachel finished her tirade with a sigh. "I understand how you feel," Kid replied in a daydreaming voice. Lately he tried not to think about what he had lost in that way, but listening to Rachel made the fire in his heart rekindle. "You're gonna miss him then."

"Yes…" Rachel whispered. "It probably sounds crazy. We've just known each other for a few days."

Kid shook his head. "It ain't crazy."

By then they had reached the farm. Once Kid helped Rachel off the wagon, they walked into the house. "Louise! Rachel's here to see you! Loui…" Kid's voice faltered and the call died on his lips when he discovered Lou's figure slumped on the floor. "Lou!" he cried wildly as he ran to her, followed by Rachel.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Kid kept repeating as he crouched and started checking his wife. Rachel let out a gasp when Kid turned Louise over, and they saw the condition her face was in. Her countenance was marred by bruises and bleeding lashing marks, which contrasted with her pallor and the skin around her neck was swollen, and tinted by a myriad of yellowish and blackish tones.

"But… but… wh… what's happened?" Rachel stammered without shifting her eyes from Lou's face. Kid just shook his head, and when his hand gently cupped his wife's nape, his eyes widened in horror. The palm of his hand came out red with blood.

"Oh merciful God!" Rachel exclaimed, horrified.

"Lou! Lou!" Kid started calling desperately over and over again. When Louise remained unresponsive with closed eyes, he dared to shake her as gently as possible. "Lou… please, Lou!"

To his utter relief, Louise's eyes fluttered briefly, and finally opened. "Oh thank God!" Rachel exclaimed. Lou groggily stared at the two faces looking down at her, and she felt disoriented and confused, not even sure where she was. The acute pain in every part of her body quickly refreshed her memory, and she remembered the last unfortunate encounter with her father. She regretfully realized she was not dead, and had only been sleeping. Her senses were still confused, and she could not tell how long she had remained on the same spot her father had left her, but she felt unable to utter a single sound. Being found in this condition would feel humiliating and embarrassing, but right now her mauled body hurt so much that other than pain she could not feel anything.

"Lou, we need to move you from here. Is it all right if I carry you?" Kid asked, and Lou nodded weakly. Helped by Rachel, Kid tried to be as gentle as he could on moving her. He secured his right hand under her nape, and his left arm under her legs. As he lifted her, Louise let out a moan, feeling her bones complain, and dizziness hit her. "I know it hurts, sweetheart. We're gonna put you to bed now, and make you as comfortable as possible."

As Kid started his way up the stairs, Lou shut her eyes, trying to hold back her tears. It was not the pain that made her tearful, but the horrible memories that today had materialized again. For years she had suffered her father's severity, his beatings, his cold cruelty…. too long a journey that seemed endless. He always talked about love and family in a grandiloquent way, but Lou knew her father did not love her as he claimed. She did not believe his words any longer. He loved his money, his horses, and his damn business, doing everything to protect and cherish them like a faithful lover. But he did nothing to protect her, but, on the contrary, he hurt her body and soul in the most terrible ways. Not even after beating her did he do anything to comfort her, or to ask for forgiveness. He just left her to rot, and every single time Lou had to pick up the remainder of her bruised spirit, and patched herself up, all alone, without a friendly soul.

Lou felt her body lower and touch the soft mattress, and, even though the movement made the pain more intense, she did not utter a single sound. Opening her eyes a crack, she noticed Kid leaning against the bed, and bringing his face closer to her. "Lou, I'm gonna leave you with Rachel now. I'll bring the doctor as fast as possible."

At the mention of the doctor, Lou panicked. She did not want to see any doctors. So even though weak and sore, Louise managed to raise her hand, and grab Kid's shirt front before he escaped her grasp. "No… not the doctor."

"Lou, you're hurt. Dr. Maxwell needs to see to your injuries," Kid said, gently trying to release her hold, but she would not let go.

"Please no…" she cried.

"Louise," Rachel started softly, unsure how to talk, "you mustn't feel embarrassed." Even though the station mistress and Kid had hardly exchanged a word since they had discovered Lou on the living room floor, she suspected that the rider was thinking about the same lines as she did. While alone on the farm, Lou had been attacked, probably in the most horrid way a woman could. "There's nothing to fear, honey. The doctor has to check no further damage has been done."

"Please don't make me! Please," Lou pleaded, her knuckles turning white from holding Kid's shirt too strongly. "I don't need a doctor. I can clean my own injuries."

Kid shook her head at her stubbornness. She was too distraught, and he did not want to upset her anymore. "Lou, what Rachel says is right. What's happened to you ain't your fault, and you shouldn't be ashamed." Lou opened her mouth to protest, but Kid did not let her. "If you don't want to see the doctor, I won't make you… unless I see something's not right."

Louise let out a relieved exhalation, freed him from her hold, and dropped her sore body on the bed again. "Thanks," she whispered, closing her eyes to prevent a cry out of her mouth.

"Rachel will help you clean up, won't you?" Kid asked.

"Of course," the station mistress replied, and Kid's gaze told her that they would try to persuade Lou later when she felt calmer.

Other than the doctor, Kid was concerned about something more important, and it was essential he did not delay the thing any longer, or it would be too late. "Lou, I know you must be feeling worse than bad, but this can't wait." He stopped to share a knowing look with Rachel, and then added, "Do… do you remember who did this to you?" Kid asked hesitantly. Lou looked at him, but kept silent. "I'm gonna call Teaspoon, and I promise we're gonna hunt down the animal who hurt you."

Lou started getting nervous again. "Teaspoon? The marshal? No… you can't, you can't."

"Louise, this ain't a matter for discussion, and you need to tell me everything."

"The man who attacked you can't just get away with it. He needs to be brought to justice, and pay for it."

Lou paused, and now he realized what Rachel was implying. "He didn't attack me the way you think," Lou said in a soft voice, and after a brief pause, she blurted out, "He didn't rape me."

At her words Rachel and Kid glanced at each other, relief obvious in their faces. "In any case, honey, he hurt you," Rachel insisted.

Lou ignored the woman's comment, and turned her eyes to her husband. "Kid, you can't report him to the marshal. You can't do that. It's a family matter."

"What?" Kid let out, unsure if he understood what she was saying.

Louise inhaled deeply, and said, "You just can't report my father to the law, can you?"

Knowing that her words settled the matter, Lou closed her eyes. She was feeling too weak to carry on, and all she wanted was to shut herself away from the world. Beyond the darkness she was voluntarily hugging, life went on, and would go on. This was not the end, but she wanted to dream it could be. She longed for a world where there were no fears for her, a world she could feel safe in, but she was too aware that her terrifying shadow would never go, and would always be stuck to her… forever.

After Lou's words Kid stared at her wide-eyed in total shock. He chanced a glance at Rachel, who looked pale and astonished. No wonder. It came like a blow to discover that the wonderful man Rachel had generously praised just minutes ago could be so cruel and callous as to beat his own daughter senseless. It was hard to believe, but Kid knew Lou was not lying.

He turned his eyes back to Louise, and suddenly, he was taken aback by a revelation as his mind traveled back in time. He remembered the first day he had lay eyes on Lou, and thought there was something familiar about her. Now he knew. Louise reminded him of his own mother. The way she kept looking down, her arms folded across her chest, and her expressionless gaze … all that mirrored his own mother, and her hidden suffering. Kid knew this was not a first, and Lou and his mother had endured and shared a similar existence, suffocated and abused by the man that was supposed to love and care for them. John Boggs was no different to his father, two cowardly dogs that proved their worth and fake strength by terrorizing those who were weaker than them.

"I'll heat up some water to clean Louise's wounds."

Rachel's dry voice snapped him out of his torpor and shock, and all he could do was nod.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 29**

Kid discreetly left the bedroom when Rachel returned with a pail of water and some rags. She poured the hot water into a washbowl, which she placed on the bedside table. Lou had fallen into a deep slumber, and looked peaceful. "Louise, wake up," the station mistress called, gently patting Lou on her shoulder, and hating herself for disturbing the younger woman's much-needed sleep. Lou opened her eyes, and Rachel said, "Let's patch you up, honey. Can you move by yourself?"

Louise nodded, and grabbing one of the bars of the iron-wrought headboard, she pushed herself up, and slid her legs out of the bed. Once in a sitting position, she unbuttoned her blouse, slid out of it, and left it next to her on the bed. Next her camisole came off, and feeling self-conscious she swirled her body, allowing just her turned figure to be visible to Rachel.

Behind Lou, Rachel was unable to suppress a gasp when she saw the condition of Lou's arms and back. It was some sight. Her arms and back were covered in bruises, lash marks, and bloody blots. The blonde woman breathed in, trying to pull herself together, and in a dry voice, she said, "I'll start, all right?"

Lou's silence granted her permission. Rachel dipped a cloth in the washbowl of water, and lightly brushed the wet rag on Lou's tender skin. This caused the girl to flinch, and she let out a hissing sound. "Sorry," Rachel muttered.

"I'm fine. Go on," Lou replied, holding her hands tightly together as she expected the pain to hit her soon.

In silence Rachel started cleaning Lou's injuries on her ill-treated back. As the woman gently rubbed the cloth over every inch of Lou's skin, she felt totally appalled by the sight before her eyes. This was beyond horrible, and Rachel could not even imagine what Lou had gone through to end up like this. Rachel had often acted as a nurse for the riders when they were wounded or beaten up. It was not uncommon that they were shot, or got into a fight. Rachel was used to seeing and treating injuries, but this was like nothing she had seen before. Things like this should never happen, but sadly, Rachel knew Lou was not the only woman who had suffered abuse.

How could anybody hurt their own flesh and blood so hideously? How could somebody that acted like a gentleman turn into such a monster? Rachel was still in disbelief. Those so different people could not be the same one. It was so hard to believe that charming, gentlemanlike, tender John Boggs was the person who had beaten Louise up with no apparent remorse.

The selfish part of her soul started whispering wickedly in her mind. It would not be far-fetched to think that Lou might be lying, and she had accused her father to protect somebody or even herself. She did not know anything about Louise, and for all she knew, Lou might have an ulterior motive. Maybe she had a man on the side, a lover she might have had a disagreement with, which resulted in her being on the receiving end of a tremendous beating. Of course she would want to hide this from Kid.

"Rachel?" Lou's soft voice cut the woman's thoughts short.

"Yes?"

"I… I want to thank you for your kindness. You're being so good to me."

The meaning of her words that sharply contrasted with the black, selfish thoughts running in her mind hit Rachel powerfully. She was totally ashamed of herself for entertaining such low ideas. How could she be so insensitive? She had no right to jump to conclusions when she had no reasons to think ill of Louise. Here was a poor girl who had been abused and mauled, and what she needed was compassion and understanding, no selfishness. Rachel felt she was no better than the vicious man Lou had for a father.

The shame and self-loathing overwhelmed Rachel powerfully. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she started whimpering and sniffing softly. She cried for her selfishness, for feeling let down and deceived, but above all, she cried for poor Louise, her pain, her loneliness, and what she had to go through under her father.

On hearing Rachel's soft sobs, Lou slowly turned around in obvious surprise. "Rachel?" she called, sliding into her robe to cover herself.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry," Rachel begged among tears. "Forgive me."

Lou's bruised face frowned in confusion. "Forgive you?"

Rachel nodded, hanging down her face in shame. "For doubting you," the station mistress filled in, wiping her tears with a handkerchief and, as the woman lifted her eyes back to Lou, she was surprised when she saw no trace of anger, disappointment, or hardness on Louise's face.

Lou looked at her with a placid expression, and said, "There's nothing to forgive. I understand." She paused, and added, "Who would anybody be prone to believe? A well-considered, wealthy gentleman like my father or an insignificant little person like myself? I'm certain of the answer. At least, you doubted."

"I'm sorry," Rachel repeated truthfully.

"I'm sorry too," Lou whispered, lowering her eyes.

Rachel stared in silence, expecting Lou to elaborate. She was unsure what Lou meant by her last words. Was she sorry for finding out Rachel was not better than the rest of the world? Was she sorry for what had happened today? Or was she just sorry for what this meant for Rachel? Maybe Lou meant the three of them, but no other words came out of her mouth.

Rachel then took the cloth again, and in silence she continued cleaning Lou's wounds and in a strange way the station mistress felt she was also cleansing her own soul and shame.

* * *

There was a knock at the door, and Louise called a weak 'come in'. Rachel had left an hour ago, and before going, she had helped Louise change into a fresh nightgown, and put her back to bed. Kid had also come once to ask her how she was doing, and insisted she was not to move from bed under any circumstances.

When she had found herself alone, Lou had tried to get some sleep, but she just could not. Her senses were too alert, and on top of it all, she had a splitting headache, which for certain was the consequence of the bumps her head had suffered. When Rachel had examined her, she had said that there was a small cut, and clogged blood smeared over her scalp, but it did not look serious. Now the wound was cleaned, and a bandage wrapped around her head, but the pain still lingered.

The door opened a crack, and Kid craned his head inside. "May I come in? I brought you some dinner."

Lou nodded, beckoning him to enter. As Kid advanced to the bed, carrying a tray with what looked like a bowl of steaming soup, Lou said, "You shouldn't have bothered. I ain't hungry."

"It's just some broth. You need to eat something," he replied. Lou shrugged her shoulders in resignation, and pushed herself up, propping her back against the headboard while Kid carefully placed the tray on her lap.

"Thanks," Louise whispered, tucking a napkin into her nightgown neckline. She grabbed the spoon, and a sigh escaped her lips, foreseeing a hard task ahead of her when she tried to get the soup into her stomach. Out of the corner of her eyes, she got a glimpse of Kid, still standing next to her, and in a pose that showed he wanted to tell her something.

"How are you feeling, Lou?" he finally asked.

"Better… much better, actually," she replied, which was true. Her body still hurt like hell, but remembering other times that she had gone through the same, things were different now. Whenever she received a lesson, like her father called his disciplinarian methods, Lou always knew that was not the end of it, and she lived in the constant fear that there would be another 'lesson' somewhere along the road. However, today she discovered that the fear was gone because her father was miles away, and for the time being she was safe.

"Do you mind if I keep you company while you eat?" Kid asked.

"Please, be my guest," Lou replied unenthusiastically.

Kid sat down on the rocking chair across from his wife while Louise had her soup. Struggling to eat was even harder than she had first thought. Not only did her lack of appetite make the job totally toilsome, but the effort of raising the spoon to her lips was a bit too much for her sore arm. "I can't anymore," Lou said in the end, tiredly collapsing against the pillows. "My stomach can't take any more."

"Very well," Kid replied, rising to his feet, and taking the tray from her lap. Lou imagined that he would be leaving now, but instead, he left the tray on the bedside table, and stood hovering next to her. Lou sent him a curious glance, and he smiled. "Lou, would… would you like to talk about what happened today?" Lou stared at him in wonder, and Kid added, "Sometimes it helps to talk."

Louise shrugged her shoulders. "There's nothing much to talk about. My father was… was displeased because … because you complained about me."

"Wh…what?"

"Because we don't share this bed," Lou stated, patting the mattress under her body.

At her words Kid was speechless in total shock, and his face colored violently in outrage. "But… but… I… I… I never complained," he finally managed to find his own voice, but the sound of it came out jittery and clipped. "I swear to God. I never said anything against you. He… he just started asking a lot of questions, and…"

"It's all right, Kid," Lou replied, cutting him off. "I don't blame you. I expected it. I knew this might happen when I first heard he was coming."

"That's why you didn't want me to tell him about the divorce?" Kid asked as he lowered his body, and sat down on the furthest end of the bed opposite Louise.

Lou nodded. "He'd have gone ballistic," she whispered. "Well, more or less like he was this morning."

Since Louise did not seem to object to the conversation and his questions, and she was opening up, Kid felt encouraged to keep asking her. "I gather this ain't the first time," he muttered in a sullen tone.

Lou shook her head morosely. "Last time was when I told him I didn't want to marry you," she explained non-chalantly. "That's why the wedding had to be put off. He didn't have an accident. _I_ was the accident, and naturally, he just couldn't flaunt me when my face looked much in the same way it does now." Louise smiled wryly as she remembered her father's lies to Kid's parents a couple of months ago. He had not even flinched when he had shamelessly said she was happy, and looking forward to the wedding, which was as far from the truth as it could be. Weeks before her forced marriage she had tried to run away from her father, and the place she called home. She had cut her long hair, and made her escapade dressed like a boy. Yet, her father's thugs had found her, and dragged her back to him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be because it ain't your fault," Lou replied. "Looking back, I know I shouldn't have made such a fuss, and I should have gone along with my father's plans willingly since the beginning. It would have saved me from a lot of trouble and pain." Lou paused, and looking Kid into his eyes from the relative distance separating them, she added, "Actually, being married to you has turned out to be better than I imagined. It's like having a job. I'm fine here. You let me be most of the time, don't beat me, or make me… you know what." Lou blushed as she uttered the last part of her speech, subconsciously pulling the quilt higher up around her body to cover her front.

Kid shook his head. "Lou, I'm such a fool… the biggest fool in history."

"Why?" Louise asked confused, wondering what had prompted him to have that reaction.

"I… I never gave any thought to what this marriage meant to you," Kid exclaimed truthfully. "I've been so selfish, so dazzled by the reflection of my own shadow that I just couldn't see anything else."

"This marriage wasn't my idea… I was never your enemy," Lou whispered.

"I know that… now. Will you be able to forgive me?"

Amused, Lou thought today seemed to be the national day of forgiveness. First, Rachel, and now Kid. "There's nothing I have to forgive you for. We're both on the same boat, and I know how you feel."

Kid nodded in agreement, and despite everything, he smiled. "I'm glad we're talking," he said, and after a pause, he added, "I like it when we talk. I have the impression there's a great person in you, but it's hard to really see you when an ice wall rises between us." Thinking that Lou was liable to protest, he held his hand up in the air while saying. "I know… I know. I didn't treat you well at first, and I am aware I deserved to be blocked out."

Lou shook her head. "That's not true. I'm aware I'm not an easy person to deal with, but that doesn't have anything to do with you personally. It's just… I guess I was trying to protect myself. Talking too much has often got me into a whole lot of trouble."

"Louise, I ain't like your father. I could never hurt you," Kid replied. "We both know our marriage is a road that leads nowhere, but… but… I'd like to be friends with you. Honestly. Do you think that could be possible?"

Lou kept quiet, staring into his blue eyes with a dead serious expression. Kid wondered if his request was out of tune, and she would think it ridiculous. For a moment he was certain she would say no. Then her eyes shifted from his, and looked down. Kid followed the direction of her gaze, and pleasantly realized that her hand was stretched to him in a clear offering of friendship and peace. "I'd love that too."

Kid's face lit up with a wide smile, and his hand joined hers happily in a gesture that would seal their friendly agreement, and change the course of events in more ways than they could think.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 30**

The aroma of freshly-brewed coffee and fried bacon wafted in the air as Louise slowly made her way down the staircase. The morning sun swept in through the windows, lighting up the whole house. Lou felt rejuvenated with a strange new boost of energy after a long night sleep, and even though her sore body reminded her of the previous day's events, she was in high spirits.

When she crossed the door into the kitchen, she found Kid in front of the stove, enveloped by clouds of steam coming from the skillets he was busy cooking with. As he heard her soft steps, he turned around and greeted her with a welcoming smile.

"Did I sleep in?" Louise asked.

"You have every right to sleep in," he replied as he turned his attention back to his cooking. "But, no, you didn't. I just woke up earlier to make us some substantial breakfast."

"Thank you," Louise whispered with a shy smile as she sat down at the table.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kid noticed her slow motions and her face wince when she sank down on the chair. "How are you feeling this morning, Lou?"

"Better. I have the impression I've been sleeping for days long."

"You needed your rest, and I think you should've stayed in bed," Kid said.

"But I ain't sick," Lou contradicted him. "I can't just stay idle and bedridden all day long. It would drive me crazy."

"Yes, I know… you're a little busy bee," Kid remarked lightly. "But at least today you ain't moving a finger around here." At his words Lou sent him a confused look, and Kid added, "I have the day off. I rode to the way station earlier, and asked Teaspoon. So it's my turn to pull my weight around here."

"But… but…" Lou stammered, her face showing her evident alarm and astonishment.

"Please, please don't fret," Kid added, well aware of what she was not saying. "I didn't say a word about what happened. Believe me. I told him you were not feeling well, and I needed to stay at home."

"But I'm fine," Lou protested, not sure whether she was feeling annoyed or thankful.

"Well, then just take this as a day to relax, free from responsibilities. I think you deserve some respite. You've been working too hard."

Lou knew he had also been working hard, but she did not speak up to contradict him. Kid had knocked down all her sound arguments, and discussing his decision would require the energy she did not have. It was true his help would come in handy. She could not do much, feeling the way she did. Besides, she was supposed to buy some provisions at the store today, but she could not go to town when her face was black and blue. It would certainly set people's tongues wagging, and everybody would erroneously think that her husband beat her.

"And here comes breakfast," Kid announced as he transferred the food from the pans onto a couple of plates. "Bon appetit," he exclaimed cheerfully, placing a plate in front of Lou.

Louise stared at the food with wide eyes, feeling put off by what looked like huge amounts to her taste. The plate was overflowing with sausages, rashers of bacon, scrambled eggs, roasted tomatoes, and beans. "You really overdid yourself, Kid," Louise commented without averting her eyes from the plate. "This is too much… way too much."

"Lou, you haven't eaten anything but a few spoonfuls of soup in the last twenty hours," Kid replied, sitting down at the table, but instead of taking the chair at the furthest end as he usually did, he placed himself next to his wife. "You need to refill your energy, and I expect you to eat every single bite on your plate, Miss."

Lou muttered a few words that did not reach Kid's ears. "What did you just say? I didn't hear you."

Louise lifted her eyes to him. "It is Mrs., not Miss. I'm married, remember?"

Kid could not help but grin. "Oh yeah… I think I've met your husband, Ma'am. Quite an extraordinary fella," he replied in playful jest.

"Yeah… Mr. Wonderful… that's what they call him," Lou replied sarcastically. Kid was taken back by her sarcasm, and his grin vanished. Yet, as he glanced at her, her brown eyes were clearly shining with badly-concealed amusement, and the corners of his lips curved upwards into a smile.

His grin returned to him as he added, "Then I guess that makes you Mrs. Wonderful."

"You said it, not me," Lou replied, playing along, and finding she was enjoying herself.

"No wonder you were worth all those dollars."

The unfortunate and clumsy remark felt like a punch to her stomach, and her amusement was gone instantly. Lou's face blanched, and her whole expression turned sour. One of the most mortifying moments in her life was when her father decided what her price in dollars was, and paid every single cent to get rid of her. Now he expected his reward, the prize to his investment, and Lou felt like the poor goose that laid golden eggs. Reminding her of her shame was too much for her. "That's not funny," Lou muttered in a dry tone, and putting her fork down, she added, "Excuse me, but I've lost my appetite all of a sudden."

In no time Lou was on her feet and on her way to the door, but before she could leave, Kid had stopped her, grabbing her by the forearms. "Please, Lou, don't go!" he begged her, his pleading eyes glowing with embarrassment for his blunder. He had realized his mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth, and now he felt like slapping himself hard. "I'm such an idiot! The biggest idiot in the world… Please forgive me. I didn't mean to offend you. Honestly."

"You can't imagine how humiliated I felt."

"I know… I know. I felt the same way. I'm such a fool. I meant every word that I said yesterday. I would never hurt you on purpose. I'm just a clumsy oaf who doesn't have the slightest clue how to deal with ladies… and probably with people in general. Please forgive me."

His sincere apology softened Louise. A sigh escaped her lips as she shook her head. "I think you're better than you sometimes look… and sound."

"Can we start from scratch, please?" the rider asked hopefully, and stretched his hand to her. "Morning, Ma'am. My name's Kid, occasionally referred to as Mr. Wonderful, but actually I'm just Mr. Clumsy. It's a real pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Louise stared at his stretched arm in amusement, and, unlike what he expected, she swatted his hand while saying, "You already met me. Let's eat breakfast."

Kid grinned as she turned round on her heel, and sat back at the kitchen table. She resumed eating while Kid remained on the same spot. He breathed out in relief. He and his big mouth had been too close to spoiling the good vibe between him and Lou. Thankfully, Louise had forgiven him for his inexcusable blunder. Somehow he felt he wanted to cultivate her friendship. Since yesterday, something had changed in her. Even though what had happened with her father was beyond terrible, Lou looked and acted freer, more receptive, and ready to open up. They had even joked, which had led to his shameful slip of the tongue. He liked this new side of her, and he wanted to learn more. Now he realized he had wasted his time, brooding over his own problems, when he could have tried to get to know the person under his same roof. It was not too late, and he would learn to appreciate his wife for as long as she remained married to him.

* * *

As days flew by, Louise's beaten body gradually started to heal. The bruises were not completely gone, and there was a scar on the back of her head, an ugly reminder of the farewell 'gift' that her father had generously left her.

Despite struggling with the shame and pain for too many days, Lou was feeling better than she had felt in years. Her spirit was at peace and free. It was weird to feel that freedom now when she had been forced into a marriage she did not want, and was logically tied to the man who was her husband. Yet, she did not feel enslaved, or suppressed. Strangely, she was experiencing a fresh and peculiar sense of liberty, and peacefulness. Talking to Kid had smoothed the road. Now they were not merely civil to each other, but really friendly.

Lou had to admit Kid was a good man, and they were actually getting along. When she had first learned who her father wanted her to marry, she had been horrified, and scared. For a while her father had not mentioned anything about marriage, and since the last fiasco, she had even thought he had given up on the idea. But no, Lou could never have been more wrong and just ten months after what had happened the last time, her father announced she was to marry. Becoming the wife of any man was a horror in itself, but it was twice as bad when you knew where you were embarking. Lou recalled Kid from a visit his family paid hers many years ago. Lou remembered him as an unbearable child; back then he had scorned her, sneered at her with a nasty superior air, made fun of her, and on top of it all, he had even pulled at her ponytails. That child was a demon, and when she had been told that demon would become her husband, she had been completely appalled.

As Lou now pondered about the whole picture, she realized that horrible child she had met years ago had grown into a decent man. When Lou had first married him, Lou had been scared… terrified. Even though Kid's mother had insisted that her son was a nice person, and she would be fine with him, Louise had not completely believed her. Her experience told her that no man was trustworthy, and in the first two months she had expected him to prove her right at any moment. Yet, despite their disagreements, Lou could not deny Kid was a good man, and even though they were both unwilling participants in this marriage, they were trying to find the positive side of this situation until they could find a way out.

Louise was learning to appreciate Kid's friendship. They were still a bit unsure around each other, but the coldness was starting to thaw. It really felt good to find some solace in her loneliness. Lou vaguely remembered when she had last had a friend. Many years ago when she started school, she had befriended Eleanor Brown. However, three years later she had been removed from the local school, and their friendship had ended. It was difficult to make friends when her family moved from town to town so often. It was after her mother's death that she had lived in the same place, but even so, circumstances made it difficult and almost impossible to make friends.

Kid's was not the only friendship she was lucky to have. Rachel was also becoming part of her small circle, shrinking her moments of solitude. Since the station mistress had helped Louise, she had come to the farm every single day to visit. At the beginning Lou had felt a bit uncomfortable after their last conversation in which Rachel had admitted her doubts about Lou's sincerity. Louise understood that Rachel and her father had become closer, and it could have been logical that she could take his side. As Rachel kept coming to see her, Lou wondered why she bothered to visit, and little by little the young woman learned that Rachel wanted to be a good friend.

The two women gradually felt more at ease with each other, and could talk non-stop for hours. Lou knew she could tell Rachel everything without fear because she felt Rachel as a woman understood her. In a way Lou had the sensation she had found something she had not been fully aware she was missing till now. Her mother had been her only confidante all her life, the voice of reason, the shoulder to cry on, and when she had died, Lou had lost more than a mother. Now Lou felt she had gained back a small part of what had been taken from her. Naturally, Rachel was not a mother, or a substitute, but the way the station mistress listened, and comforted her reminded her that she had been in great need of some female companionship.

That afternoon Rachel had driven her buckboard to the farm like almost every day, and then she and Lou had gone for a walk. When they first set off, they just made small talk about trivial matters, but after a while, Rachel hesitated, but ended up asking Lou what had been burning in her mind for days. Since she and Kid had found Louise lying in the living room, the young woman had not explained a lot about what had happened between her and her father. Rachel was curious and wanted to hear the story with all the details. At the direct question, Louise stared at the woman in silence, and Rachel feared she had upset her by asking what she should not have, but after a few seconds Lou finally started.

"He threatened you to death if you didn't give him a grandson!" Rachel exclaimed, horrified when Lou finished her account.

Louise shrugged her shoulders in resignation. "I understand him… in some way," Lou replied, and when Rachel stared at her wide-eyed as if her friend had lost it, Louise explained, "When Jeremiah… my brother died, my father was devastated. After my mother, he was his whole life… his pride, his heir. Now he only has me… a useless girl, and all I can do is replace his beloved son with one of my own."

"But that's outrageous!" Rachel almost shrieked. "Lou, he told you he'd kill you! Your father told you he'd kill you!"

"I know."

"Have you told Kid about this?" Rachel asked, totally thrown by the way Lou seemed to be so indifferent.

Lou shook her head. "I've been scared of my father all my life. Even when my mother was alive, and he hardly acknowledged me, he was this strange and frightening man I had to call father, but who was actually as alien to me as snow in the desert." Lou paused to breath in, and then added, "To tell you the truth, I ain't scared any longer. I'm really tired of feeling like a puppet in my father's hands, and I'd do anything to break my strings to him… anything." Rachel gawked at her agape. "I don't think he really meant his threats. His bark is always worse than his bite… even though his bite can be really fierce. Still, I don't think he could kill his own daughter. That wouldn't yield anything, and he always does everything for some gain."

"What if you're wrong?"

"Well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it," Lou replied breezily as if the matter was not such a big deal.

"Louise, I still think you should tell Kid. This is serious."

"Rachel, Kid's my husband just by name, that's all. He's been real good to me for the last two weeks, but I ain't his problem. My problems ain't his."

The station mistress did not agree with Lou, or understand the peculiar situation between the pair. She knew their marriage was just an arranged contract, but in her view as long as they were married, they both had a responsibility to each other, and should share pains and joys. What Rachel also knew was that if Lou had decided to keep mum about her father's threats, nothing would talk her out of it. The station mistress would drop the matter for the time being, and take another direction. "So what are your and Kid's plans?"

"You mean about our marriage?" Lou asked, and at Rachel' nod, the girl remained thoughtful for a while. "Well, he says we'll get a divorce in a few months."

"But what about you, Louise? What's gonna happen to you?"

"That's a good question," Lou replied, bobbing her head up and down as if she had never thought about the matter before.

"Well?" Rachel urged her.

"My immediate plan is to stick to this marriage," Louise replied, and when Rachel stared at her in confusion, she added, "I know that as long as this marriage lasts, I'll be safe, and won't have to go back to my father."

"That plan kind of clashes with your husband's desire for a divorce," Rachel reminded her.

"I… I know. I ain't a fool, and I'm aware our divorce is unavoidable," Lou replied. "I didn't want this marriage either, but I just want to buy some time. That's all. I'm trying to figure out what I could do to have a life without my father. If I had to go back to him and his prison, it'd be the worst that could happen to me." Lou paused, and then added, "If I were twenty-one…"

"What then?"

"At twenty-one I'm supposed to inherit some money my mother bequeathed me. It's not a fortune, mind you, but it would give me the means to be free. Naturally, I can't wait that long."

"And why don't you discuss that and any other options with your husband?"

Lou gave Rachel a tiny, smug smile as if the suggestion was the most absurd idea she had ever heard. "I told you, Rachel. I'm not Kid's problem. I have to figure everything out by myself. Nobody can help me, and I don't expect it."

"I think you're wrong, but I really wish you the best. You're a good girl, Louise, and you deserve a good life."

Not being used to compliments, Lou blushed to the roots of her hair. Rachel was too kind, and she felt her words were not for her. "Thanks," she whispered anyway, hanging her head in embarrassment. The conversation was making her extremely uncomfortable, so even though she knew it would be too obvious, she consciously twisted the direction of their talk. "And tell me Rachel, what were you telling me yesterday about Cody's new girl? I'd love to hear everything about it."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 31**

The riders had picked straws to decide who would accompany Teaspoon to the cattle fair in Cottonwood. Luck had settled that the honor would fall on Noah and Jimmy. That meant that when Teaspoon required riding companions again, Kid, Cody, and Buck would be next in line.

There were no rides scheduled for today, and once the chores around the way station were done, the three riders were free to do whatever they felt like. Normally, Kid would have stayed at the station, playing cards, or simply goofing around with his fellow riders, but today he decided to go back home. It would be nice to have lunch with Lou for a change, and then devote some time to work around his farm. With all his responsibilities at the station, Kid was neglecting his duties at home, so Lou took care of everything. He just had time to refill the troughs and feeders at night, and any other odd jobs. It was time he did some of his share now that he had the rest of the day off, and he could also have a look at the fields, and check whether they would be fit for sowing in the spring.

After dismounting in front of his home, Kid resolutely marched to the house. When he opened the door, and tried to enter, he suddenly bumped against something. Lou had been about to step outside at the same time, and they had collided against each other. As he saw her stagger, his hand reached out, and wrapped around her back to prevent her from falling.

"That was close," Kid said with a grin.

"You should make sure there's nobody behind a door before you barge inside," Lou scolded him teasingly as she disengaged herself from his hold.

"I didn't barge in," Kid defended himself. "And you, Missy… you did the same." He knew her moaning was a playful game between them, which was a common occurrence as of lately. Since the day they had a disagreement thanks to his big mouth, there was always this silly banter between them. She called him clumsy, he put up a fight, and they ended up having a laugh. It was incredible to think that just some weeks ago they hardly exchanged a word with each other, and now they were even able to joke and make fun.

"What are you doing here so early?" Lou asked curiously as she stepped aside, and Kid finally entered.

"I have the rest of the day off," Kid explained, and changing his mood to playful again, he added, "And you know, last time I checked this was also my home." Louise gave him a crooked smile, and in that brief silent moment, Kid curiously looked her up and down. She was wearing the masculine outfit he had seen her in a couple of times already. "And what are you doing dressed like that? Going somewhere?"

"I thought I could go for a ride, but, well, now you're here, I'll rustle up something for lunch."

"Lou, you don't have to change your plans for me," Kid replied. "Please go on your ride." As he uttered his words, he was struck by a sudden idea. "Uh… Lou, if I told you I'd like to join you, what would you say?" Even though his initial intention had been to spend the rest of the day working on the farm, now Lou's plan sounded more enticing. Why couldn't he then have a relaxing, friendly afternoon with his wife?

"You mean you want to go riding with me?" Lou asked, surprised by his suggestion. Kid nodded a bit too enthusiastically, and Louise shrugged her shoulders in indifference. "It's fine by me, but if you lag behind, don't expect me to wait for you."

Kid chuckled, but did not reply to her provoking words. The proud look she cast in his direction was a clear challenge, and as she walked out of the house with the same proud stance, Kid continued grinning in clear amusement. While Kid followed her to the stables, he thought how Lou had changed a great deal lately. She was no longer the silent, docile, and submissive woman she had been for months, but a bubbling personality was starting to emerge in the person he had thought was just plain and flat. That did not mean she worked less, or neglected the duties she believed she had to comply as his wife. What had changed was the way she acted. Now Louise was not afraid to speak her mind, and he was getting to know a person who was funny, sincere, and even bold at times. Kid was glad they had talked, and she got to understand she had nothing to be afraid of. Kid really liked this side of hers, and what he regretted was that he didn't try to settle matters sooner.

Once the horses were saddled, they set off, and left the farm behind. Kid's first perception of her riding skills proved to be right and there was no doubt she rode like the best of riders. They started at a light canter, but shortly afterwards their pace quickened, and they galloped full-speed across the wide plains. Their playful banter passed on their ride as they kept trying to outrun each other. More than once Kid was behind her tracks, inhaling the cloud of dust her horse hoofs were raising, and by the position of her body, he could tell she was beaming proudly. The Southerner had to admit it was difficult to keep up with her. Lightning was a fine horse, and in combination with Lou's small size, her speed was often unbeatable.

After an hour of racing each other, Lou suggested they stop for a short while, which Kid agreed to. The girl led the way to a clearing in the forest, where the river's crystal clear waters widened, and looked like a pond. They quickly jumped off their mounts, and as soon as their feet came in contact with the firm ground, a thankful sensation of relief coursed all over their tired legs. "I love this place," Lou said dreamily, as she removed her jacket, and left it on her horse. "It's so peaceful and beautiful."

Kid remained on his feet, just on the spot where he had landed. His eyes followed Lou's figure as she gracefully walked to the river. He had never paid much attention to Louise, her looks, or almost anything, but as he now watched her, he found himself subconsciously admiring her body. Even in the wide clothes she was wearing, Kid could see she had strong but delicate features. Maybe she was not like other women who aroused men's interest with just one look, but Lou definitely had something. His eyes traveled from her back, and fixed on her hips, wrapped by her loose-fitting pants. Lou crouched, and washed her hands in the river. Kid's stare followed every one of her movements as if in a trance, and even though Lou kept talking, Kid did not hear a single word.

"Kid?" Louise called, turning her head to him from her squatted position when he remained unresponsive to the request she had just uttered.

The sound of her voice startled the Southerner, and he blushed scarlet in shame on realizing she had caught him ogling her. Kid removed his hat, and started spinning it in his hands to hide his embarrassment. "Sorry, what did you say?"

Lou smiled at his absent-mindedness. "I just asked you if you could bring me the canteen to fill."

Kid nodded slowly, still feeling awkward about his shameful staring. Taking the canteen from her horse, he crouched next to her, and filled it with the cool water of the river. "You're right; it's a breathtaking place," he commented, sweeping his eyes around, not because he was so captivated by the landscape, but because he wanted to avoid looking directly at her, and giving his embarrassment away.

Louise rose back to her feet, and walked to Lightning. "I have a couple of sandwiches here with me. We can share them if you want," she said, grabbing a small bag from the saddle.

"Much obliged," Kid replied politely while screwing the canteen cap. Lou had sat down on a fallen trunk, and he sank down on a stump across from her. With a thankful smile, he accepted the sandwich she handed him, and they started eating in silence. Despite his intention to keep his eyes off her, he could not help himself. For some reason he was curious to discover the person he had been so intent to be blind to, so as he quietly munched on his sandwich, he dared to lift his gaze to her.

Kid kept looking at her with curiosity. It was true what everybody had told him. Lou was very pretty even with her short hair. She had beautiful eyes, which were big, contrasting with the rest of her features that were small and delicate. Kid wondered why he had not noticed the beautiful woman he was married to. Any man would say he was lucky, and in a way it was true. Even though he was not in love with Louise the way a husband should be, he was learning to appreciate her, and he was fortunate to enjoy her friendship.

Louise kept munching on her sandwich, and then she noticed Kid staring at her. His scrutinizing eyes were making her uncomfortable, so turning her face to him, she asked, "What on earth are you looking at?"

Kid could perceive the annoyed tone of her voice. Once again he blushed, and smiled uncertainly. Clearing his throat in awkwardness, he tried to come up with a plausible excuse that saved him from admitting that he was just admiring her pretty face. "I… I was thinking about that time my family and I visited yours," he finally said.

Lou cringed at the reference. "Do you remember?"

"I'm afraid I do," Kid replied, scrunching up his nose in a clear dislikeable gesture. "You know what? I hated you."

Louise scowled dismissively. "And I hated you more. You were such a horrible child. I couldn't wait for you to leave."

"You liar!" Kid exclaimed lightly. "Admit it, you were sweet on me."

"What?" Lou retorted with a flabbergasted expression. "Are you delirious or what?"

"It's true, and you know it," Kid insisted. "You told me proudly we'd get married one day."

"I did not!" Lou denied categorically, looking as if she had been insulted in the most outrageous way.

"Yes, you did."

His insistence made her pause and think. "Did I?" she asked slowly, and when Kid nodded with an amused grin on his lips, she added, "But why would I say something like that? I did hate you."

Kid kept grinning in obvious amusement. "I dunno, but obviously, your wish was granted."

"You don't say! I'm overjoyed," Lou replied sarcastically. Kid chuckled, and Louise could not help but finally join his mirth. Silence then ensued while they finished eating, and kept passing the canteen to each other for a drink. When the sandwiches were gone, and their hunger satisfied, Lou kept thoughtful as her eyes gazed at the blue sky, and decaying nature around them. It was the beginning of December, and she could smell snow in the air. This might be her last outing on her beautiful mare for a while. When the bad weather set in, and snow covered the land, she could not venture to leave her property. So now she should make the most of every single second of this chance in the open.

Her gaze then shifted to Kid, and Lou smiled at him sheepishly. As his blue eyes looked back at her, she realized she had not had the opportunity to talk to Kid about something she had meant to tell him for weeks. "Kid?" she called softly, breaking the silence.

"Yes?"

"It's been a while, but I wanted to thank you for helping me so much in the last few weeks," Lou said in a shy, low voice.

"You don't need to thank me," Kid replied. "I didn't do anything."

"Believe me, you did," Lou insisted.

"Then I should thank you too."

Louise's brow creased in confusion after his words. "Me? What for?"

"For letting me help you," Kid replied, and as Lou kept staring at him, clueless, he added, "When… when I was a child, my father had the same nasty habits as your old man."

Lou's eyes widened in shock. "You… you mean he beat you?"

"Me and my ma," Kid explained. "That lasted for years… until I was old enough to stop him. You can imagine how hard it was."

Lou shook her head in consternation, understanding what he was not saying. "How could your mother endure that situation for so long?"

Her well-intentioned curiosity sounded like an accusation to Kid's ears, and his calm disposition changed into clear annoyance. "Excuse me, but you shouldn't talk about things you don't have the faintest idea about. It's easy to judge when you're born into good money. You don't know what it's like to be a woman with no money or relatives? Where could my mother have gone with two small children, and not a single cent?"

"Kid, I didn't mean to…"

"And I don't see you've done anything to fight your father either, or escape his grasp," Kid continued in irritation.

"Because I couldn't."

"Why? Did he keep you in a golden cage?" Kid asked mockingly.

Lou lowered her eyes, and whispered, "Rather a golden prison."

"What?"

Louise raised her gaze back to him, and hesitated. Never before had she told anyone what she was thinking about telling Kid, but after what she had learned today, if someone could understand her, it was him. "The first time my father hit me, I was eight. My mother was horrified, and swore she would never let him lay a finger on me again. One night she snuck us out, and we ran away on him." Lou paused to catch her breath, and then continued, "I do understand what it means to be a lone woman with small children and no money because I saw my mother struggle for us to survive for a long, long year. She worked hard to support us, but with two children and a baby she couldn't leave home for too long. She did some cleaning jobs and some sewing for a few hours a day while I looked after my siblings. It wasn't much, and we even had to accept charity from the local church. Most of our money went to food, the shabby rooms we lived in, and the doctor. My sister was a delicate baby, and she often needed the cares of the physician. It wasn't easy. We were hungry, cold at night, and ended up looking like beggars… because that was what we became. Then my mother got real sick. I was afraid she might die, but at that time my father found us, and took us back. Ma got better, and since then he never let us out of his sight, and even hired some men to keep watch." Lou stopped, and sighed. "I'm not sure what is worse, suffering shortage, or having our stomachs full under my father's control."

"I'm sorry," Kid replied, his annoyance already gone.

"Even with his close watch, I tried to escape several times… but you can imagine I never succeeded," Lou added, and paused again. "Kid, I didn't mean to offend you, or say anything against your mother. To tell you the truth, I grew quite fond of her. I think she was a great woman."

"Forgive me for overreacting. I'm really sorry."

"I understand you're so sensitive. It's logical. It was horrible the way you lost your parents… nobody can blame you for feeling angry with the whole world. I'd feel the same in your case."

"But it wasn't anybody's fault… only those murderers'… It wasn't my fault, and needless to say, it wasn't yours," Kid said, voicing what he should have told her long ago. "And I'm sorry I implied something so awful about you."

"That's water under the bridge," Lou replied. "Let's not stir what should be left in peace."

Kid smiled thankfully, and they relapsed into silence once again. In the quiet of the afternoon, he pondered about the whole conversation he and Louise had. Despite their differences, he realized they both shared a very similar history, a very unlucky childhood and youth. Now in a very strange way, Kid came to think that their marriage was not as bad as he had initially thought. It could have been much worse if he had ended up with some other woman. Lou was a nice girl… more than nice, indeed, and for the first time since their much dreaded wedding, Kid felt less miserable… and much less lonely.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 32**

December shelled its days one by one, and Christmas stumbled upon the good people in Rock Creek almost unexpectedly. The bitter cold weather had also arrived to stay for the winter months, and snow covered the earth, displaying a beautiful picture of whiteness, but freezing life as if in a still painting.

With the Christmas season, the Pony Express pouches were heavier and fuller as season greetings were sent in hundreds, or maybe in thousands, from one extreme of the country to the other. In one of those weighty mochillas came a letter for Kid. It was from Doritha with a simple handwritten Merry Christmas. Kid had read those two words over and over again, analyzing every single trace in the writing as he debated with himself whether he should send a reply. His common sense urged him to stay put. Doritha had her life, and he had his, and it made no sense to force a bond that was logically broken by the circumstances.

The saying was true. Time healed everything. Even though he still thought of Doritha, the memories of her were not so strong anymore, and his pain had turned into just mere nostalgia. Kid had only written a single letter to her, which she had replied with another one, and now this Christmas greeting came as an unexpected surprise. After struggling to reach a decision, he finally made up his mind, and despite his initial intention, Kid ended up sending her his good wishes for the season. It did not feel right he ignored her message of good will; Kid could envision her painful expression if days went by, and nothing came from him. It would be rude not to reciprocate her gesture, so he finally wrote his greetings on a single sheet of paper, similarly to hers, brief and to the point, but unlike her, Kid could not help himself but end his message with 'love' before his name.

Doritha's was not the only mail he received in those days. Boggs also sent his greetings, even inviting the married couple to spend Christmas with him. On reading the letter, Kid had been beside himself with anger. How could somebody sound so breezy and unconcerned when he had left his own daughter battered and bleeding? The man made Kid sick. Of course he would like to pay him a visit and show him how much he 'appreciated' his last visit. Lou, though, had told him not to mind her father, and forget about him, which naturally Kid did not agree on. It was something he could not forget. John Boggs had no right to trample over Lou, and then get away with it. It was completely wrong. Kid felt that at least he would like to give the man a piece of his mind, and make him see in a very evident way that Lou was untouchable. Naturally, Kid could not contradict his wife, and force her to see her father again, especially at Christmas. The encounter between the two men would have to wait.

On Christmas Day Rachel had cooked a traditional lunch for all the riders and Teaspoon. Naturally, Louise had also been included in the celebration. Like every single meal in the bunkhouse, the atmosphere around the table that day was jovial and boisterous. After lunch, Teaspoon sat on his armchair next to the fireplace, and read the birth of Jesus from his Bible. The rowdiness reigning minutes ago during the meal vanished instantly, and the bunkhouse remained in total silence, but for Teaspoon's intoning voice. Louise curiously looked around, studying the expressions of all the riders and her husband, and she could recognize the shadow of sadness in every face, something she was too familiar with. They all shared a huge vacuum; they had all lost their mothers, and the story of Baby Jesus naturally came as a reminder of what unfortunately they all lacked in their lives.

"Merry Christmas, boys… and ladies," Teaspoon said, courteously tilting his head to the women once he had finished reading. His words were promptly echoed by his audience that seemed to come to life again, and after greetings and wishes were exchanged, the marshal added, "This year's comin' to a close very soon, and lookin' back to what we left behind us, I gotta say I'm content. Boys, let me congratulate and thank you."

"What for?" Cody asked.

"For stickin' together, for doin' a good job, for survivin'."

"Sadly, that ain't true for everybody," Buck replied with a doleful expression, the image of his good friend flashing in his mind.

"That's true, son," Teaspoon agreed, nodding morosely. "We all miss him. Life, though, goes on whether we want it or not. There's another year ahead of us, a chance to live, fight, love, and fulfill dreams. That's the beauty of life… unfold the mystery of our destinies."

"I already know my destiny," Cody piped up, his smiling blue eyes seesawing proudly among his friends. "I'm gonna be rich and famous one day." His over-repeated self-prediction was followed by a rumble of skeptic smirks, exclamations, and comments. "It's true… that witch, Madame Lola… she foretold exactly what I've just said. Kid and Buck can confirm that."

Kid and Buck shared an amused grin across the table, and the Southerner lifted his hands while saying, "I don't know anything of that."

"Cody, she just said a lot of gibberish that didn't mean anything," Buck replied.

Cody pulled a discontented face while his fellow riders cracked up at his expense. "Boys, boys," Teaspoon cut in before tempers flared, and the day would end up with confrontations, "there's no harm in believin' in oneself like our friend Cody here does." The blonde rider then stuck his tongue out to the skeptic riders, and the marshal continued, "Actually, in many cases self-confidence and faith are the key to reach our aims, and plans." He paused briefly, and added, "I know I ain't wrong to say you all have dreams, and want somethin' from your futures."

"No… not me, I don't have any of those," Jimmy said, narrowing his eyes. "I just live one day at a time. Can't bother myself with what will happen tomorrow."

"I beg to differ, son," Teaspoon continued. "I'm sure there's somethin'… even a little, tiny plan. If you delve deeper, you certainly might find more than just emptiness."

Against all odds, Jimmy kept thoughtful for a brief second. "I… I guess I'd settle for a quiet, unadventurous life…and if I stretched things a bit too far, I'd even say I'd like a good girl by my side." His eyes casually shifted, and stumbled upon Louise, who was looking at him curiously with a smile on her lips. Jimmy blushed, hanging his head low, and quickly disregarded what he had just said. "Of course, that's nothing but hogwash."

"Nothing's impossible," Teaspoon remarked. "A man's will can be invincible."

"I understand what Jimmy says," Noah continued. "One might shoot for the moon, but you know you'll never reach it. The world won't change, and you're just a man… nothing much, and your will can't always win."

"Boys, you're too young to be such a pessimist lot," the marshal exclaimed. "I ain't sayin' you'll become the earth's savior… I'm talkin' about personal plans… Everybody needs hope… small aims to shoot at. Without them, what's the point of wakin' up every mornin'?"

"I think Teaspoon's right," Buck joined the discussion. "I've never considered what would come after today too seriously, but lately… I dunno… I do believe we can also choose the road to walk on."

"And we all know what your road looks like… blonde and blue-eyed, and with a huge pothole for a father," Cody joked, his words followed by a chorus of chuckles, and knowing grins.

Buck shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? It's true. I like her."

"And you two make a lovely couple," Rachel remarked, tapping him on the shoulder as she passed by him while serving coffee around.

"Yes… unlike others," Cody quipped, his playful, mocking eyes traveling between Kid and Lou. The comment did not sit well with the Southerner, whose mood soured instantly. He silently glared at his friend for his absolute lack of tact. Kid knew he and Lou could not make a good match, because they were not even a couple to start with. That, though, did not give anybody the right to flaunt their private matters in public. Kid was sure the meaning behind Cody's words and expression had not gone unnoticed by Lou, and he silently cursed his blonde friend for embarrassing her in front of a group of people she barely knew. It was not fair for her, and Kid refrained himself from throwing himself against Cody because it would make Louise even more uncomfortable.

Kid was right, and everybody was aware of Cody's joke and impropriety… everybody, but apparently the blonde rider himself. For a second, everybody held their breath, expecting Kid to explode, but fortunately, the explosion did not come. Anyway, tension in the air was palpable, and they could see Lou was shifting in her seat uncomfortably. In an attempt to distract attention, Buck broke in, "And what about you, Kid? You haven't said a word."

Kid shook his head in dismissal. He was not in the mood, but Jimmy insisted, "Come on, Kid. Tell us… it's only right."

"And I'm sure your charming wife would like to know how that head of yours works," Teaspoon added.

At the mention of Lou, Kid turned his gaze to her. Louise smiled at him, nodding in encouragement. The rider's irritation faded away, as he thought he'd better forget about Cody's big mouth. Clearing his throat, Kid lowered his eyes, and focused them on the fingers of his right hand that he ran over the rugged surface of the table. "Since I was little, my dream was to come to the west," Kid explained in a soft voice. "In the summer I used to have a little job, helping a neighbor with the animals on his farm. He'd lived in Missouri, and always told me stories about life in the west. I loved working with the animals, especially the horses, and the stories. I told myself one day I'd live in the west, and work with horses."

"Seems your wish already came true," Noah remarked.

Kid hesitated. "Uh… yeah, I guess it did," he replied. "Living here is what I've always thought it would be. I love being a Pony Express rider, but I can't expect to be a rider forever."

"That's true, son," Teaspoon replied, envisioning that the Pony Express would not last too long.

"So if I had money, I'd love nothing more than to have my own ranch… raise and breed my own horses."

"And muck out stables all your life?" Cody exclaimed, horrified by the idea of doing what he hated most forever.

"It's part of the job," Kid replied.

"And very hard," Jimmy added.

"All work is hard."

"You're absolutely right, Kid," Rachel piped up. "Don't heed these silly boys. I think you'll make a wonderful rancher one day. You're good with horses."

"Thanks," Kid replied, flushed by the compliment.

The conversation shifted into other directions, and laughter continued filling the bunkhouse. After a few seconds, Kid could feel as if somebody was watching him. Turning his attention to his side, he found Lou's eyes boring into him, and she looked totally absorbed in her own thoughts. "Anything wrong?" he asked in a low voice.

His unexpected question startled Lou, who quickly composed herself, and smiled awkwardly. "Uh… no, nothing," she replied, and then returned her attention to the conversation around the table, not uttering another word for the remainder of the afternoon.

* * *

Kid drove the wagon back to the farm in the early hours of the evening. It had been an enjoyable Christmas Day in the company of the people that he had come to think of as his family. Kid had dreaded the season since it would be the first Christmas without his mother, and today he had painfully felt her absence more than ever. Kid remembered all the Christmases from his childhood fondly when his mother woke him early in the morning, urging him and his brother to see if Santa Claus had left them anything. Being years older, Jed did not bother to look, but Kid always rushed down the stairs in eager anticipation. Despite the shortage they suffered at home, there was always something waiting for him in his stocking, and even when he was grown-up, his mother always made sure to have something for her family. The memories had naturally struck him deep down today, but the pain had eased to a certain extent thanks to the good company of his friends.

The sun had already set, and darkness surrounded the wagon and its two occupants as they headed for their home. It was a chilly night, but thankfully, Kid had brought a blanket along, which now cozily wrapped around Lou's body. As he handled the reins, Kid threw her a glimpse out of the corner of his eyes. She was staring at the darkness ahead of her with a faraway look, much in the same way she had been for most of the afternoon. "Is everything all right, Lou? You are awfully quiet tonight."

Louise turned to look at her husband. "I was just thinking, that's all," she replied.

"Thinking about what?"

"You," she blurted out, and noticing the odd expression he gave her, she giggled in embarrassment, and said, "I mean… about what you said before, you know, all that about raising horses."

"What about it?"

"It can be done," Lou replied, nodding her head at the same time.

"Yeah… I wish."

"No, Kid, I mean it!" Lou exclaimed. "If you put your mind to it, you could start putting it together right now. You already have our place, and you just need a small team of horses… maybe four or six, and work from there."

"That would mean a lot of money, not only from the purchase, but also the maintenance expenses, and the stables would need to be extended to house more animals."

"Don't you have the money from selling your parents' house?"

"Yeah…" Kid replied vaguely. "It ain't much actually. I sold it cheap."

"But it's something," Lou insisted, and when Kid did not speak, she asked, "What?"

"Nothing… just had the idea to keep the money for something else," Kid muttered awkwardly.

It dawned on Louise then what he was talking about. She remembered what he had told her when he had returned from Virginia, and what his intentions were. "Do you honestly feel you owe my father something?" Lou asked with a tinge of irritation.

"No!" Kid promptly shot back, but then he added, "I just don't know."

"Kid, I told you. What happens between you and me is our business alone. Don't bring my father into this. When we put an end to this marriage, it won't mean you'll be breaking some holy agreement you had with my father. After all, he wasn't very honest in the matter either."

"What do you mean?" Kid asked with a confused frown.

Lou kept quiet for a beat, realizing she had talked too much. "That doesn't matter now," she replied quickly, stumbling upon her own words. "What matters now is what you can do with that bee that's been buzzing in your ear for so long. I know you can do it."

"I ain't sure, Lou. It's too risky."

"Everything's a risk in life! You can get the horses. Don't tell me you don't have enough with what you got from the house plus your wages from the Pony Express."

"Yes…but we still have to live on," Kid reminded her.

"You know we don't need a lot, and I can help. Mrs. Shaw's trying to get somebody to look after her small children for a few hours every day." Kid opened his mouth to speak, but Louise carried on, "I know what you're gonna say, that you have a lot on your hands, and wouldn't have the time to see to everything." Kid nodded, and Lou continued, "It'll be hard at first, of course. We can both chip in, and when things take off, you could just leave everything else."

"It might fail…"

"I know it won't," Lou enthused. "I know you can do it. I believe you can. I'm so sure. Tell me… what do you think? Say something."

The Southerner stared at her for a few seconds in awe. Her black eyes shone passionately, her face was rosy from the cold air and her zeal in her speech. Her enthusiasm moved and impressed him at the same time. She was really something, and the way she carried herself was endearing. Kid grinned an ample grin, which gradually became into an unexpected, sonorous chuckle.

On hearing his laughter, Lou blushed in embarrassment and irritation as she realized she had crossed the line. Lowering her eyes, she muttered, "Forget what I said. I'm sorry. I should've kept quiet."

His cheerfulness died down, and concern replaced it. "Why? Lou, I ain't laughing at you. I find your enthusiasm refreshing, that's all."

"I should know when to stop talking, and stick to my own business," Lou insisted, almost talking to herself. "My father would already have slapped me quiet."

The comment irritated the rider. "Please, Lou. I ain't your father, and I don't like being compared to him."

"I'm sorry."

"And stop saying sorry!" Kid exclaimed. "I want you to feel free to talk to me about anything… anything at all. I like to finally see the real Louise."

Lou lifted her eyes back to him, and smiled shyly. "I like her too. I missed her."

"I hope she's back for good," Kid replied with a wide smile. Lou averted her eyes sheepishly, and Kid added, "So explain to me again how you think I can become a successful horse rancher. I'm all ears."


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 33**

Like every morning, Kid rode to the station to start a new work day. Once on the ample property that comprised the way station, he gracefully eased his horse, and as he was about to pull Katy towards the stables, a voice called him. His eyes turned to the source of the summons, and he saw Teaspoon and Jimmy come out of the bunkhouse.

"Kid, I need a couple of guns to ride out with me," the marshal informed him. "Are you up to doing some deputizing?"

"Sure," the Southerner promptly replied. "What's the matter?"

"We're still deep into this Mr. X business," Teaspoon said as he buckled his holster around his waist. "We're off now to have a little talk with a gentleman that might help us track down the man's family."

"Will we be gone long?" Kid asked again.

"A couple of days… maybe three," Teaspoon replied. "Why?"

"Lou doesn't know."

"Tell Rachel or one of the boys to drop by your place and tell her," the marshal suggested, and Kid nodded.

Teaspoon and his two riders galloped out of the station as soon as they got ready. The marshal explained that the gentleman they were about to visit was certain the gunrunner's family had rented some rooms from him for a few months.

"I don't really understand how this man is so sure they were our man's folks," Jimmy said as he sipped his coffee. They had stopped for a spell to water the horses, and have some rest after riding for half the day.

"Apparently, he has some proof… a letter addressed to Mrs. X," Teaspoon replied.

"He stole a letter that was supposed to be for this lady?" Kid exclaimed in consternation. "Are you sure we can trust this fella?"

"He's the only string we can pull," Teaspoon said. "But it seems he didn't nick it… it got to his hands when the family had already left."

"I just hope he won't make us waste our time," Jimmy remarked with an unhappy scowl. He had been happy to learn he had no rides scheduled for the next few days, but to his chagrin, he had to follow Teaspoon on this adventure that did not mean much to him.

The three men relapsed into silence as they drank their coffees, trying to warm their stomachs and the rest of their bodies. Jimmy threw a casual glance at Kid, who seemed to be engrossed in his own thoughts as he stared blankly in the distance. "What are you thinking about, Kid?"

The Southerner almost jumped at the voice penetrating in the stillness of his mind. His eyes turned to the long-haired rider, who clearly expected an answer, and his face flamed with embarrassment in advance. "I… I was thinking about Lou," Kid replied, and as both Jimmy and Teaspoon sent him amused looks, he added, "She had a slight cough this morning, and I just hope it doesn't mean she's coming down with something."

"Don't worry, son. I'm sure Rachel won't leave her alone if she notices somethin' ain't right with your lady when she goes to your place."

Kid nodded slowly. "Yes, I know."

Jimmy arched his eyebrows in surprise at Kid's concern about his wife. "I see things are better between you and her."

"Yes, we're becoming good friends."

"Good friends!" Jimmy exclaimed loudly in a sarcastic tone. "For Pete's sake, Kid! Friends? If I were in your shoes, I'd…"

"You'd what?" the Southerner broke in sharply, his blue eyes glaring at his friend, since he had not liked what Jimmy was implying.

Hickok did not reply straightaway, realizing that he had gone too far with his comment. It was beyond his understanding why Kid had to make such a fuss when he could consider himself lucky for having a fine woman like Louise as his wife. Yet, despite the circumstances, Jimmy knew he should not have butted in so bluntly. Louise was a married woman, and Kid was her husband, and there was no joking about it. "Nothing… I'm just saying she seems to be an outstanding lady."

"Yeah, she is," Kid agreed in a softer tone, regretting his overreaction to Jimmy's comment. "I know she is."

"Do you still intend to get a divorce, son?" Teaspoon asked.

"I… I don't know," Kid replied, pulling some blades of grass out of the ground. "Things are even more complicated now."

"How so?" Jimmy questioned with curiosity.

"I can't let her go back to her father… I couldn't live with myself thinking she's at his mercy again," Kid muttered, toying with the blades of grass in his hands. It was not a secret to Teaspoon and the other riders what Boggs had done to Louise. Kid had kept mum at first, but one day he had blown his top, and almost fought with Cody because the blonde rider had innocently praised Boggs' gentlemanlike qualities before Kid. Knowing it was not Cody's fault; the Southerner had later apologized, and had to explain the reason behind his anger. After all, John Boggs did not deserve his contemplations, and Kid would not lie to hide the fact that the man was a cruel abuser. "I don't know what difference a divorce will make in my life other than being on my own. Lou and I get along superbly now, and I feel comfortable with her."

"Son, are you tellin' us you'd stay in this marriage of yours because you feel morally obliged to Louise?"

"It's not that," Kid exclaimed. "We have a good relationship."

"Marriage is more than feelin' just comfortable, Kid," Teaspoon insisted. "Stayin' with a woman you don't love is way too risky, son. You might grow bitter and resentful, and end up hatin' the person you are tied to, and in turn make her miserable too."

"I ain't saying we'll be together forever," Kid replied with clear uncertainty. "I just know I can't leave her now, and in the meanwhile we can find a solution."

"Of course there's always the possibility you two might grow to love each other," the marshal quipped with a crooked smile. "Wouldn't be the first case."

"Have you been drinking, Teaspoon?" Jimmy exclaimed teasingly. "Seriously? Of course this oaf might grow to love her, but there's no way a fine woman like Louise could have feelings for him."

Kid could not help but grin in amusement, and decided to join the teasing atmosphere when he said, "Oh you shut up! Who cares what you have to say, Mr. Ladies' Man?"

"I might not be very lucky with women, but at least, when I'm with a lady, I do know I want more from her than getting my laundry done every day."

Feeling that the banter between the two riders could get a bit out of hand, and make tempers flare, Teaspoon thought it was time he stepped in. "Come on, boys. Time to go."

No more words were exchanged, and once they put out the fire, and collected everything in their saddle bags, the three men got back onto their mounts, and rode away.

* * *

Teaspoon made a series of varied sounds as he swept his eyes through the letter in his hands. He and his riders had arrived in Willow Spring around midday, and straightaway located their witness. Mr. Harrison, the man in question, was a tall, lanky fella in his early fifties. He seemed to be a respectable citizen, smartly dressed, neat-looking, and the house where he welcomed the marshal and his deputies showed he was the kind of man who cared for order and control.

The envelope Mr. Harrison handed Teaspoon had no addressee, and only some initials were written above the address the letter was for. As the marshal unfolded the sheet of paper inside, he was surprised to notice that at simple sight no names were written as part of the heading, and there was no signature at the end of it. The person who had sent the letter had gone to a whole lot of trouble not to let away the identities of both correspondents. As Teaspoon read the missive, he could tell the handwriting belonged to a woman, and the tone of the words confirmed his suspicions. From what he read, Teaspoon understood that the woman this letter was addressed to had left her husband. The reasons were not specified, and the author of the missive vaguely mentioned an event in Fort Kearney involving Mr. X, who was somehow linked to the lady. There was no evidence that the estranged wife was Mrs. X, but it was clear there was a very close connection there.

"How long have you had this letter?" asked Teaspoon as the yellowish shade of the paper was a giveaway of its age.

"Around nine or ten years," Mr. Harrison replied, casually drumming his fingers on the beautiful mahogany table around which the four men were sitting.

"And you kept it all this time!" Jimmy exclaimed in puzzlement.

Mr. Harrison's mouth curved downwards, his lower lip protruding in indifference. "It wasn't right for me to throw away something that wasn't mine."

"But you had no problem in reading words that weren't intended for your eyes," Kid pointed out rightly.

The man did not like the accusing tone in the lawmen's remarks, and his patience wore thin. "Look. Everybody can tell you I'm an outstanding citizen, and I told the sheriff about this letter because I thought it was my duty!" the man exclaimed irritated. "This letter was lost among my own documents for years, and one day I just happened to stumble upon it. Nobody would claim it any longer, and I felt curious… I'm just human."

"It took you a while to report it to the authorities," Teaspoon said.

"I didn't know there was something to report," Mr. Harrison replied. "It was just recently I heard the law was after this criminal. I clearly recalled the slaughter in Fort Kearny… all those poor soldiers killed… it was in all the papers, and strangely, it dawned on me that I had read about it somewhere else too, and the content of this letter, which at the time had meant nothing, came back to me."

"What can you tell us about your tenant?" Teaspoon questioned.

"She was a very discreet woman… kept to herself most of the time."

"Her name?" the marshal continued.

"I called her Mrs. McCloud."

"And did Mrs. McCloud have any children?"

Mr. Harrison nodded. "It's been a long time… I ain't sure if she had three or four kids… I'm sure there was a baby, and… I do remember her eldest… a lovely girl. Hold on, what was her name?" Mr. Harrison scratched his receding hair, trying to refresh his memory, and finally he saw the light. "Oh yeah… I remember. Her name was…" Instead of a name, a deep-throated moan left his lips almost at the same time as a shot and the sound of glass breaking reverberated in the room. A bullet had flown through the window opposite Mr. Harrison, hitting the man square in his forehead.

"Quickly, boys! Duck!" Teaspoon cried, and both riders followed their boss's orders. No more shots were heard, and after a pause, Jimmy beckoned Kid to make his way out. The Southerner crept to the door, and from his crouching position he lifted his hand to the knob above him. Noticing a body behind him, Kid turned his head to find Jimmy, and the long-haired rider nodded in approval. Before proceeding, Kid swept his eyes around the room, and noticed Teaspoon crouched before Mr. Harrison's fallen body, obviously checking whether the man was still alive. Kid had no time to waste, and finally turned the knob as his free hand slowly drew his gun out of the holster. His heart was racing, and his hands were clammy. This was the first time he found himself in this kind of situation, and he could not help but feel nervous.

With a strong push he opened the door, and he stormed outside, taking shelter on the porch. From his position, he tried to spot the shooter, but when he did not see anyone, he dared to expose himself to get a better view. A first shot resounded in the near distance, and Kid fired in the direction the bullet came from. Almost instantly his body swayed for a few seconds, and then fell when two bullets painfully entered his body.

"Kid!" Jimmy screamed as he ran out of his hiding spot, repeatedly firing his gun. The very first shot hit the man dead, but the rider kept pressing the trigger until there were no bullets left in the chamber. "Kid!" Jimmy called desperately, falling to his knees before his friend, and holding his head on his lap. The Southerner's face contorted in pain as he struggled to keep his eyes open, but his strength was faltering by the minute. "Hold on, Kid! Everything's gonna be all right! Just hold on!"


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 34**

"Make sure you clean the wounds every day, and get plenty of rest," the doctor said as he finished wrapping the white bandage around Kid's arm. The two shots the rider had taken went into his right shoulder and his left leg. Thankfully, neither of the wounds had been life-threatening, and after the doctor had patched him up, he felt weak but fine.

"We'll make sure he does when we get home," Teaspoon replied.

"I wouldn't advise you travel in your condition, but it won't kill you," the doctor added, and after a pause, he said as an afterthought, "You've been lucky… unlike poor Mr. Harrison."

"Yeah… we're very sorry," Teaspoon muttered, shaking his head morosely. "Do you know if he had any enemies who might want him dead?"

"Patrick was a loner, but nobody would wish him ill. He was a good man."

"What about the fella who killed him? Do you know who he is?" Jimmy asked. After taking Kid to the doctor, he and Teaspoon had returned to retrieve the bodies of the two men, and brought them to the town sheriff, who had quickly offered to help them.

The doctor shook his head. "I had seen him before, but he wasn't from this town. He'd been around these parts for a while, but he was a strange character. Nobody even knew his name, or why he was in this town. Marshal, do you think he was after Patrick Harrison? It doesn't make sense."

Teaspoon did not reply to the man's question, but took a detour. "Mr. Harrison was tellin' us about a lady… one Mrs. McCloud who used to live in this town about ten years ago. Anythin' else you can tell us?"

"I came to this town seven years ago," the doctor replied. "My predecessor was Dr. Bailey, but he died last year. Maybe you can ask around. If that woman lived here, people are likely to remember her."

"Thank you so much for all your help, Dr. Ross," Teaspoon said, shaking hands with the physician. The marshal then led the way outside while Jimmy helped Kid as they followed their boss after bidding goodbye to the doctor.

"Jimmy, go get a wagon from the local stable," Teaspoon told his rider once they were outside. The sun had set, and darkness enveloped the three men. "Kid can't ride Katy in his condition. We're leavin' first thing tomorrow."

"I thought we'd stay for at least another day, and try to find out more about Mrs. McCloud," Kid piped up.

"Son, you ain't in any position to hang around here. The sooner we get ya home, the better. Besides, I don't want to risk anybody's safety by snoopin' around too much. With Mr. Harrison's death, it ain't a secret why we are here, and we don't know if there are other men lurkin' in the shadows. Hopefully, the sheriff might find out somethin' else."

"So you think Mr. Harrison's been murdered because of what he was telling us?" Jimmy asked.

"I see no other reason," Teaspoon replied.

"But how could anybody know what he was gonna tell us? And why didn't that fella try to shut him up sooner? Dr. Ross says that man had been pullulating in the city for weeks," Jimmy said.

"I know as much as you, son. Maybe Mr. Harrison bragged about what he knew, and intended to do, and somehow that information got to Mr. X. He might've sent one of his men to spy on Mr. Harrison. Maybe he didn't think Mr. Harrison meant any risk, but when he saw us, he knew he had to act."

"So you don't think the man who Jimmy killed is Mr. X?" Kid asked.

Teaspoon shook his head. "A man like Mr. X can't get involved in petty matters like this. He must be a powerful man in his circle, and of course, has his own entourage that does the dirty work. He's like a coach driver, sittin' on the seat, without touchin' the ground, and pullin' the reins in the direction he wants to go."

"So what do we do now?" Jimmy asked.

"You get us the wagon while Kid and I will get rooms in the hotel," Teaspoon replied. "We might return, but tomorrow we're ridin' back home."

* * *

Lou was contentedly sweeping the porch when the rattling of a wagon drew her attention. The sun was hanging low, so she pressed her hand against her forehead to shade the light, and her eyes squinted to see who was coming. The outline of the carriage in the distance definitely did not belong to Rachel as Lou could make out a man sitting on the driver's seat. Louise had no idea who it might be. Apart from Rachel, nobody ever visited, and almost at the same time as the thought entered her mind, her hand crept into her apron's pocket to get hold of her gun. Whenever she found herself alone on the farm, she took every possible precaution, and carried a gun with her at all times.

As the wagon came closer, the fuzzy image became clearer and clearer until Lou could distinguish it. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed fearfully when she recognized Jimmy on the wagon, but could not see Kid anywhere. "Oh my God!" she repeated, and fearing the worst, she dropped the broom carelessly, and darted toward the approaching carriage. "Jimmy! Jimmy!" she called urgently. "What's happened? Where's Kid?"

The long-haired rider pulled the reins to stop the horse, and opened his mouth to speak, but another voice sounded instead.

"Lou, I'm fine. Don't fret," Kid said tiredly.

Louise ran to the back of the wagon to find her husband, lying on the wooden platform, and painfully trying to lift his body. "What… what happened?" Lou asked as her eyes ran over her husband, and realized his right arm was in a sling.

"I was shot," Kid said, and Lou's hand flew to her mouth in shock. "But I'm fine… I'm fine," Kid hurried to reassure her on noticing her expression.

Lou still looked distressed, her open eyes traveling over every inch of her husband's body, making sure he was as fine as he claimed he was. "Lou, he's just tired," said Jimmy, coming behind her as if he had guessed her thoughts. "Who the heck could kill this oaf? I'll let you in on this secret of his: he has leathery skin like the devil."

"Very funny, Jimmy," Kid interjected sarcastically, pretending to be offended by the comment. "Just shut up, and help me here!"

"You better watch your manners, or I might well ride off, and leave you high and dry."

"Will you quit fooling around, and get a move on?"

Lou grinned, amused by the two friends' banter. Despite today's scare, she could not help but smile. The riders kept bickering as Jimmy helped Kid off the wagon, and towards the house. Louise followed them, and once inside, Lou led the way upstairs to Kid's bedroom. Jimmy steered his friend across the room, and gently laid him down on the bed.

"You need help to get undressed?" Jimmy asked.

Kid shook his head. "I'll just rest in my clothes, but I'd appreciate if you could give me a hand with the boots."

Jimmy nodded, and turned to Lou. "I'm gonna need your cooperation," he said, winking at her.

Following the long-haired rider's instruction, Lou placed herself on the bed, resting on her knees, and carefully maneuvered her husband so that his body leaned against her. Louise wrapped her arms around his torso, and as Jimmy knelt before his friend, he flashed a crooked smile while saying, "Being shot also has its rewards, huh, Kid? Who would think you'd be cocooned in the arms of your pretty wife?"

The teasing remark did not sit well with Kid, who blushed awkwardly. The Southerner silently cursed his friend; the physical part of his marriage was carefully buried and forgotten, and Jimmy should know that shouldn't be mentioned, especially in Lou's presence. "Will you just pull them off?" Kid ordered angrily, not daring to turn his head to look at Louise.

Jimmy snickered, and without any further delay, he pulled at the boots. Even though he tried to go about it as gently as possible, the yanks were too much, and Kid could not prevent himself from moaning in pain. Once the boots were off, Lou carefully eased her husband back on his back. "Are you comfortable?" she asked as she lightly touched his forehead with her hand, feeling relieved to realize he was not running a fever.

Kid nodded at her question, and smiled weakly when he said, "Just remind me to buy a pair of lace-up boots for next time."

"Let's hope there's no next time," Lou stated firmly, and folding her arms over her chest, she directed her eyes to Jimmy, and asked, "So anybody cares to explain what happened?"

The question was actually a direct demand, which Jimmy could not parry, so he started telling Louise what had taken place since they left Rock Creek. The rider explained everything, about Mr. Harrison, the letter, Mrs. McCloud and her link to the criminal they were after, the shootout, and the way two men had died, and Kid had ended up wounded. As piece by piece of information unfolded, Lou's face blanched, and she felt her stomach churn in dread.

"Lou, are you all right?" Jimmy asked, noticing her pallor, and he dared to place his hand over her shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry. Kid's all right. The doctor said so."

Lou smiled wryly, breathing in to get a grip of herself, and relieved that Jimmy had misunderstood the reason behind her distraught demeanor. "Yeah… yes, I know."

"Lou, I'm fine," Kid reassured her, suspiciously eyeing his friend, who still had his hand on Lou's shoulder, and was even stroking it gently. Kid did not know why, but since Jimmy had made that comment about Lou during the ride, he felt foolishly wary of his friend, and what he had meant by those words. "Don't worry. I ain't gonna make you a widow just yet," Kid joked, trying to distract the strange thoughts going through his mind.

"And blame me for that, Lou," Jimmy added, joining his friend's amusement. "I saved his poor neck, so I'm afraid you'll have to call off the celebration."

"Tough luck, I'm afraid," Kid added with a crooked smile.

Lou took a few steps back, and her horrified eyes shifted between her husband and Jimmy. "You men are… are… are…" Unable to find a suitable word that expressed the anger she was feeling, she just let out a loud grunt in frustration, which startled the two riders. "How could you joke about something so serious? What kind of person do you take me for? I could never be happy about somebody dying, let alone you!" Lou barked, pointing an accusing finger in Kid's direction.

"Lou, forgive us. You're right… it ain't funny," Kid muttered.

"We were just trying to cheer you up, that's all," Jimmy added, taking the steps Lou had retraced towards her, and patting her on the back.

"_There again… him touching her,"_ Kid thought irritated. No romantic liaison joined him and his wife, but Kid could not help but be bothered to see somebody making passes at Lou. That showed little respect for him and for Lou as well.

"I better go now," Jimmy announced, cutting off Kid's train of thought. "Teaspoon's waiting for me in town, and you need your rest."

"Thanks for everything," Kid said sincerely, but also relieved to see his friend go.

Jimmy nodded politely, and Lou said, "I'll walk you out."

Before Jimmy could accept or decline Lou's offer, Kid could not help but jump in. "There's no need. He knows the way, Lou. Don't bother yourself."

"It ain't a bother," Lou insisted, sending a puzzled look at her husband, who was acting very oddly all of a sudden. Kid was starting to sound rude, which was so unlike him, and the expression on his face showed he was tense and even irritated. Lou put it down to his tiredness and the pain he was surely feeling, so she disregarded his attitude. "I'll be back right away, Kid."

Before the Southerner could utter another word, Louise had followed Jimmy out of the room, and he remained in his bed with an unhappy countenance. His eyes shifted and were directed to the ceiling blankly. All his body hurt from all the bumping he had suffered while traveling in the back of the wagon, and he felt totally done. He longed for some much needed sleep, but would not succumb yet. Lou would be back in a minute, and he wanted to stay awake for her.

Long minutes went by, and Lou was not back yet, so Kid became increasingly restless. His mind tortured him with thoughts of what Lou and Jimmy were doing downstairs all this time. His ears perked up, trying to perceive the sound of their voices, but he could not make out any, only silence. Then again he had not heard the wagon go either, and this dead silence was driving him mad. What on earth was taking Lou so long? What the heck were she and Jimmy talking about?

Time seemed to drag torturously. Kid felt tempted to rise from the bed, and have a look out of the window in the hope of catching a glimpse of Jimmy and Lou. Yet, he did not have the strength to do so, and kept waiting. After what seemed like ages, the door opened, and Lou finally appeared. The girl had not taken more than a couple of steps inside when Kid said in an impatient tone, "Where were you?"

"What?" Lou let out, not really understanding what Kid was asking.

"You said you'd be back right away. Have you been talking to Jimmy all this time?"

Lou stared at him with a puzzled expression on hearing the accusing tone in his voice. "Your friend left as soon as I walked to the door with him. I was just heating some of the stew I made today for you." For the first time since she had stepped inside, Kid realized she was carrying a steaming bowl, and he suddenly felt ashamed of himself. Louise silently crossed the length of the room, and left the bowl on the bedside table while she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Is there something wrong, Kid? I mean, apart from the obvious."

"What… what do you mean?" he asked, averting his eyes from hers.

"You are acting all strange, and I wonder why," Lou whispered, fearing what his answer would be. His apparent dread of her talking to Jimmy made her think that the two men had not been completely sincere when they had explained what had happened in Willow Springs. Maybe they had found out more than they had claimed, and were keeping it secret from her.

"I… I guess I'm too tired."

"Are you sure it's only that?" Lou insisted. "Know that you can tell me anything… anything at all."

"Yes…"

"Is there anything you have to tell me… you know… something about me?"

Kid blushed, dreading that she had naturally guessed what had been in his head when he had asked about Jimmy as if he were a jealous husband. "About… about you?"

Lou nodded slowly. "If there's something… anything… I want to know."

His blue eyes locked into hers, noticing the challenge in them. Kid wondered what she wanted him to admit. Telling her he did not like the way Jimmy talked and looked at her could give way to all kinds of misinterpretations. Lou might surely laugh at him, thinking he was jealous, or worse. Naturally, he was not jealous… he couldn't be jealous, because to feel that way, he would have to have strong feelings for Lou first, and there was just a wholesome, budding friendship between them. There was nothing weird going on. He just felt protective of her because Lou was his responsibility, and despite everything, she was his lawful wife. For this reason, it was logical he would not like other men to show too much interest in her, not even one of his best friends, because it was not right.

"Kid?" Lou called as he kept quiet. His silence made her think her worries were right, and she held her breath in expectation, fearing the worst. "What is it? Please talk to me."

The Southerner met her eyes for a second once again to avert them straightaway. "It's… it's nothing," he lied because he knew Lou would not understand if he told her the truth. "It's nothing."

"You sure?"

"Lou, I'm just tired. Honestly."

"So, if it's nothing, it's nothing," Lou whispered, visibly relieved, and her mouth stretched into a smile. "And now, be a good boy, and eat your food."

"Yes, Ma," Kid replied in amusement, and his lips shaped up into a smile, which mirrored her bright, beaming face.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 35**

The throbbing pain in his arm and leg kept Kid awake, and through the night he barely managed to get the rest he needed, sleeping on and off. It was difficult to adopt a comfortable position. If he rested on his left side, the pain in his shoulder shot over the rest of his body; if he lay on his right flank, his leg practically screamed bloody murder; and if he rested flat on his back, he was just unable to get to sleep at all.

Tired of tossing and turning in bed, Kid decided to get up. It was early, and the translucent tone of the curtains hinted that the sun outside was timidly greeting a brand new day. Very slowly Kid managed to rise from the bed and limped to the window. Pulling back the drapes, the rider threw a look out, and his forehead creased into a frown when he spotted Lou dressed in pants and a shirt, riding Lightning into the property, apparently returning from somewhere. Louise saw him behind the window, and waved her hand in greeting. Kid awkwardly returned the gesture, and stood there, watching her jump off the horse and disappear into the house.

Where on earth had she gone to so early? Kid asked himself as he made his way back to the bed. His pants were dangling at the foot, and he grabbed them. His head kept wondering where Lou had been this morning as he tried to get his legs into his pants, but it seemed an impossible task to do. Last night he had been struggling for almost half an hour until he managed to peel them off, but apparently taking them off was easier than getting back in them. Tired and frustrated, he threw the pants on the bed when he heard a knock at the door, and Lou's head craned inside.

"May I come in?"

"Please," Kid replied, beckoning her to do so with a tilt of his head.

"How are you feeling this morning? Did you sleep well?" asked Lou as she stopped before him.

"Not really. I've been awake half the night," Kid complained morosely.

"And what are you doing out of bed then, Mister?"

"I need to get out of this room," Kid replied. "If I stay here one more minute, you'll see me going up and down the walls in frenzy."

Louise grinned. "Well, if you're a good boy, I might drive you to the station to see your little friends," she offered comically. "But first things first. Let's have a look at those wounds."

"Lou, you don't have to… I can do it myself."

"No protests, sir, or I won't let you out of here all day," she threatened with a teasing wink.

Louise then walked to the dresser, and filled the wash bowl with some hot water she had brought in a ceramic pitcher. Crossing back to where Kid was sitting, she left the wash bowl and fresh bandages on the bedside table. "Lou, may I ask you something?"

Louise turned her head, and sent him a curious glance. "Sure. What is it?"

"Where did you go this morning?"

"Uh… nowhere special. Just went for a quick morning ride," she replied vaguely as she damped a cloth in the hot water.

"You must've ridden out very early."

Lou smiled. "The earlier, the better," she simply said, and walked back to him. "Let me help you out of that shirt," she offered, sitting down next to him. Kid slightly opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. He had no arguments why she should not be doing this, because it was true he could not see to his own wounds himself, and the only reason why he did not want her to do it was his embarrassment.

Lou's finger undid the buttons and gently removed the shirt. Next came his long johns top, and then his naked middle appeared to her eyes. A blush crept onto her cheeks, and her gaze lifted to his momentarily as she smiled awkwardly. "Uh… let's get this done as soon as possible." After unwrapping the bandage around his left shoulder, Lou wrung out the cloth in the washbowl. Her left hand tentatively rested under his elbow while her right one approached his skin with the damp rag.

"Something wrong?" Kid asked when he noticed her hesitate.

Lou looked up, and her voice faltered when her eyes stumbled upon his. She suddenly realized he was too close… the closest he had ever been, and a shudder ran through her body. The soft aroma of their home-made soap on his skin wafted to her as well as his own, unique touch, and as her eyes kept staring at his for a few seconds, she noticed for the first time how deep his blue orbits were. His pupils looked like an explosion of blueness in all its infinite shades, and Lou felt strangely awed by the beauty she was admiring. They called on her. It was like looking into the sea where its immensity seemed to drown you, embrace you, welcome you.

Lou noticed his eyes stare at her in confusion, and pulling herself together, she muttered, "I… I just don't want to hurt you."

"Don't worry. I'm a tough man."

Lou nodded with cast down eyes, and her cloth-brandished hand dared to finally make contact with his skin. Dry blood was smeared over his shoulder, but Louise could hardly notice any of this. Her motions were almost robotic as she cleaned the wound, but her eyes and attention were totally focused on his skin and strong muscles. Strange images filled her head, images that she did not even want to acknowledge in fear. A tremor coursed all over her again while her face was blushing so much that she thought it would actually smoke. Lou tried to distract her mind, and drown the awkwardness she was feeling, but she could not. Her own thoughts betrayed her, and an overwhelming suffocation pressed her chest frightfully.

With a mixture of relief and longing, Louise finished wrapping the fresh bandage around his shoulder, and helped him into a clean shirt. Kid smiled in thankfulness, and without a single word, he pulled up the leg of his long john bottoms, revealing the second dressed wound on his thigh.

Lou gulped tensely, overcome by similar sensations. Her trembling fingers awkwardly unwrapped the cloth while her eyes tried not to look anywhere else. She could see that this injury looked worse than the one in his shoulder, and the hole where a bullet had been encased was visible. "Lou, are you sure you're all right?" Kid repeated his question, feeling that there was something strange in her behavior.

Lou nodded her head energetically. "It's… it's… it's just the blood that makes me a bit nervous, I guess," she lied.

"Pretty gross, huh?" Kid remarked wryly. "I can do this one myself. Don't worry."

"Don't be ridiculous. I can finish it," Lou replied in a low voice, and hanging her head low to hide her crimson face, she repeated the process as she had done with his shoulder. Her heart kept thumping, and she felt this time was worse than with his other injury. _"Keep focused, keep focused, and just look at his wound,"_ she repeated in her head over and over again, as her fingers clumsily cleaned and dressed the wound. Once again she was too aware that she was touching and stroking the naked skin of a man, and instead of feeling scared, these sensations were totally new to her. Her reaction, she pondered, was logical. What woman couldn't get nervous by doing the same? She was just nervous… just nervous. Even telling herself that she was just looking after Kid in the same way as a nurse behaved with a patient did not work. His closeness was too much, and she wondered why she could not remain calm.

"All done," she announced in a whisper, and if scalded, she jumped from the bed, putting a safe distance between her and Kid. Turning her back, she picked up the discarded bandages, and got ready to leave.

"Lou, thank you so much. You're an angel."

Lou nodded in silence, and dashed out of the room as if she could not breathe the same air as he did anymore. Once she closed the door, she heavily dropped her back against its surface, as if defeated, and let out the sonorous sigh she had chocked back all this time. Her heart rate decreased back to normal, her blushed face cooled down, and the goose bumps on her sensitive skin disappeared. Once again she sighed relieved, but almost at the same time a sudden thought struck her dreadfully, and in a whisper she hurled a question to the silent air, "How the hell am I gonna go through the same again tomorrow?

* * *

As Lou had promised, she drove Kid to the way station later that morning. On the way there Louise could hardly look her husband in the eye, and kept her attention focused on the road ahead. It was totally bizarre, but she could not shed the awkward sensations that she had experienced barely an hour ago. Whenever she turned to look at him, her mind filled with images of his strong, muscular chest, and Lou felt completely flustered.

The sight of the way station welcomed them, and Louise flapped the reins on the horse's back, spurring it into a gallop. Kid had to hold onto the seat firmly as the horse shot towards the station with such a speed that he thought he would fall off the wagon. "Are we in a hurry?" Kid asked in amusement.

"Uh… sorry," Lou muttered, and pulled at the reins again as the wagon arrived in the station yard. On spotting the carriage, the riders flocked from the porch to greet the couple, except Noah, who was on a ride. Jimmy instantly walked to Lou's side, and held his hand up for her to get off the wagon, while Kid stared at them annoyed, a look nobody noticed.

"How are you feeling, Kid?" Buck asked.

The Southerner forced himself to avert his eyes from Jimmy, and said, "Much better, thanks."

"Let us get you off there," Cody offered, and alongside Buck, he helped Kid down from the wagon.

Once on firm ground, Kid leaned against Cody's shoulder, and Lou approached them. "Isn't Marshal Hunter around?" she asked casually.

"He's in his office in town," Buck replied.

"Why do you ask?" Kid asked his wife curiously. "Do you need to see him for some reason?"

"Uh… no, not really," Louise answered awkwardly, blushing at drawing attention over herself. "I just wanted to thank him for keeping you safe like I thanked Jimmy yesterday."

After hearing her explanation, Kid stared at her in puzzlement. Somehow that did not sound like Lou at all, but like somebody else's wife… a concerned wife, and even though he knew she worried about him as a friend, there was something in her words that did not match. "He'll be back later," Cody replied. "Probably at lunch, sniffing after the scent of Rachel's cooking. The man's a glutton."

"Look who's talking…the pot calling the kettle black," Jimmy added, sharing an amused glance with Kid and Buck.

Cody lifted his chin proudly, and was about to retaliate against his friend's mocking comment, but Buck cut him off by turning to the young woman. "Lou, Rachel's in her house. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you, and she's much better company than all of us together."

Louise nodded, and briskly headed for the whitewashed house at the furthest extreme of the yard, leaving the boys behind. Her knuckles knocked at the glass-embedded door a couple of times before opening it a crack. "Rachel, it's me… Louise," she called loudly.

The station mistress's voice instantly sounded, coming from up the staircase. "Oh Louise… I'm in my bedroom upstairs. Please feel free to come up."

Lou obediently climbed up the stairs, and when Rachel saw her appear through the open door, she beckoned her to come in with a big smile. "How's Kid?" the woman asked after exchanging greetings with her young friend.

"Better, I think," Lou replied as her attention got drawn to the framed portrait Rachel was dusting.

The station mistress noticed where Louise's eyes were focused, and said, "This is my husband Henry… was my husband. He died."

"I… I'm sorry," Lou muttered awkwardly.

"Two years ago, but it seems like yesterday," Rachel sighed, running her index finger over her late husband's outline on the portrait. "His life was severed so, so unjustly," she added, and when Lou cast a questioning look, she continued, "He was killed defending my honor."

"Oh Rachel," Lou exclaimed horrified. "It must've been so hard for you." The station mistress nodded ruefully, and Louise dared to ask, "Were you two in love?"

"Very much," Rachel replied with a sad smile. "We were crazy about each other… just like it has to be."

Lou smiled awkwardly; her friend's words made her think about her strange marriage, but instead of lingering on what was missing, Lou brought to mind what had happened to her in Kid's bedroom, and she felt tempted to ask Rachel her doubts. It was more than embarrassing to think about it, let alone explain it, but she had nobody to talk to about it, and needed to say something. "Rachel, may I ask you a very personal question? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to."

Lou's mysterious tone intrigued Rachel. "Fire away then."

Louise looked down, a blush already coloring her cheeks, as she kept toying with her fingers. "When you were married… did you… did you… did you use to have impure thoughts about your husband?"

Rachel smiled at the girl's choice of words and her obvious shyness. "You mean carnal desire?" Lou nodded reluctantly, and Rachel said, "Sure I did… he was my husband, and I loved him."

"Logical," Lou muttered even though she was not sure what she was agreeing to.

"Not only did I feel that way about Henry, but other men as well… you know, physical attraction sometimes might not be linked to love. Otherwise, why would men frequent brothels?"

"But women are different," Lou objected.

"Don't deceive yourself, Louise. Both men and women have similar needs and feelings. We ladies are also human, and hot blood flows through our veins, but there's this ridiculous idea that honest women ain't capable of feeling passion, and enjoy it… just to make us feel guilty." Rachel paused to catch her breath after her enthusiastic tirade, and then added, "Why are you asking me, Lou? Are you having those impure thoughts, as you call them, about your husband?"

"No!" Lou exclaimed loudly, blushing and shocked. "No! No! Never! Of course not!"

"Maybe some other man? " Rachel dared to ask.

"Oh… no!" Lou repeated in an even louder tone, and her hands automatically flew to cover her flushed cheeks. "No! I… I couldn't do that… I… I'm just curious, that's all. I don't know much about these things."

Rachel smiled, feeling that Lou was not telling her the whole truth. "It's natural to feel curious," she agreed. "But please never be ashamed for feeling like a woman. It can be the most beautiful emotion anybody can have."

"I guess," Lou muttered. Silence settled between the two women, and after a few seconds, Louise said, "Shall we go see how Kid's doing?"

Rachel nodded, and as she was about to follow Lou, the blonde woman called the girl. Louise turned her head, a silent question in her eyes, and the station mistress spoke up. "I'm aware what you've told me, and I believe you. But if one day you feel those impure thoughts about Kid, don't smother them, or feel afraid to tell him. You're married to him after all. And even when you're not in love, it can be nice to feel somebody so close."

"Uh… thanks," Lou mumbled awkwardly, not sure what else to say to Rachel's odd suggestion. Hanging her head low in embarrassment as if hiding from Rachel her thoughts, she scurried out of the door, while the station mistress followed her, softly chuckling in amusement.

* * *

Rachel did not need to insist too much in order to convince the married couple to stay for lunch at the station. Actually, Louise quickly accepted the invitation as if she was expecting it. Like usual, lunch was an animated event as conversation flew, especially with Jimmy retelling everybody how Kid had been shot, toning down the story he had told the riders the night before for Lou's sake.

Unlike what Cody had said, Teaspoon had not shown up. So since his chair at the table top was much more comfortable than the backless bench where the riders sat, Kid had taken it today. Much to his chagrin, Lou had sat at the furthest end from him, which coincidently was next to Jimmy, but Kid told himself to stop imagining things. There was nothing there.

"Tired or bored?" Rachel asked when she noticed that Lou was yawning.

"I didn't sleep too much last night," Lou explained sheepishly.

"Then I hope you didn't spend the night cleaning," Kid pointed out.

Lou smiled amused, shaking her head. It was no wonder that Kid still remembered when he had found her cleaning the windows in the middle of the night. In truth, she shouldn't have bothered because despite her efforts to have the house perfect, her father had just seen only what he had wanted to see.

Lunch was almost over when the door opened, and Teaspoon walked in. Greetings were exchanged, and Rachel offered to heat the stew for him, but the marshal stopped her. "Don't worry. I ain't hungry. I had a bite in town." He paused briefly, and sighed. "It's been a crazy mornin'."

"Problems in town?" Jimmy asked.

The marshal shook his head. "Not in town. Somethin' new and unexpected has come up in the Mr. X business."

The riders' attention perked up instantly. "New clues?" asked Kid.

"Maybe… or maybe not," Teaspoon replied vaguely, which soared his audience's curiosity. "This very mornin' I found this letter on the floor of my office," he explained, pulling an envelope out of his breast pocket. "Somebody surely slipped it under the door."

"What's in it?" Buck asked this time.

"Rachel, would you read it aloud, please?"

"Sure," the station mistress replied, taking the envelope from the marshal. Her eyes lowered to the letter in her hands, and after clearing her throat, she started.

_It has come to my attention that you are trying to track down a certain gunrunner that has caused trouble in this area for the last two decades. Do yourself a favor, and stop trying to do the impossible. You will never find out who your so-called Mr. X is. He is too protected, and even though many people make up his vast empire, only a few know his identity… a few men who will die rather than betray him… and me, who try to keep alive._

_Hear me out in this. Destroy his people, and you will destroy his power. It is the only way._

_So if you help me, I'll help you. It's a promise, but please stop looking for my family, and leave us alone_.

"There's no signature," Rachel whispered when she finished reading the letter.

"What d'you think, boys?" Teaspoon asked, looking around the table, and briefly sharing an apologetic smile with Louise for bringing this matter up, and the young woman remained solemn and serious.

"Who's supposed to have written that?" Cody asked, voicing what all his fellow riders were also thinking.

"Your guess is as good as mine?" Teaspoon replied.

"Could it be Mrs. McCloud, the woman Mr. Harrison told us about? I imagine that the family that is mentioned there is hers," Kid stepped in.

"Or her children… they might be grown up now," Jimmy added. "Didn't Mr. Harrison mention a girl?"

Teaspoon nodded, and Buck carried on, "What I don't understand is how on earth whoever wrote that letter knows we're trying to locate Mr. X's family."

"That's a good question," Teaspoon admitted. "We came back just yesterday."

"Maybe this individual was in Willow Springs, heard about Mr. Harrison's incident, and followed us here."

"That doesn't make sense, Jimmy," Teaspoon differed. "We never said a word about what Mr. Harrison told us… not even the sheriff, and I doubt this person's related to the fella who killed Mr. Harrison."

"So you think the letter belongs to somebody from Rock Creek?" Jimmy asked skeptically.

"I dunno," Teaspoon said slowly. "I have no idea at all. Even if that were true, that still wouldn't explain how this person knows. Apart from us, only Colonel Adams from Fort Kearney, and Sheriff Woods from Fort Laramie are familiar with our plans. And I guess none of you have talked about this to anybody."

The riders shook their heads in unison while Rachel said, "You know I never mention your matters, Teaspoon."

The marshal's eyes shifted to Louise, which made her blush. "I… I know almost nobody in town."

Teaspoon smiled. "Yeah… silly me. Forgive me, but this business is drivin' me crazy."

Lou plastered an awkward smile on her face, which disappeared as soon as attention was drawn away from her. "And what does… uh… she… he… uh…?" Kid started, but Rachel cut him off.

"I think it's a woman. The writing definitely belongs to a lady," the station mistress remarked, running her eyes over the neat traces on the letter.

"I think so too," the marshal agreed.

"Or maybe it's a man, and he faked his handwriting," Cody added in a thoughtful stance.

Teaspoon sent the blonde rider a stop-making-things-more-complicated-than-they-are kind of look while saying, "So what were you sayin', Kid?"

"What does… she mean by 'if you help me, I'll help you'?"

"I was goin' down to that now," Teaspoon replied. "Apparently, if, like she says, we stop botherin' her family, she'll be ready to supply us with valuable information."

"What kind of information?" Buck inquired.

"About Mr. X's empire as she calls 'em," Teaspoon explained. "In the envelope there was another paper… an advance of what she means," he continued, showing the second scrap of paper. "There's a name… Albert Benson and a thorough account of the man's activities and history: dates, places, deeds he's been involved in… She even mentions the nicknames he's gone by over the years, addresses he might be found in, and people who know him."

"So he is one of Mr. X's men?" Cody asked.

"Seems so," Teaspoon replied. "With this information we might catch the fella easily."

Jimmy took the second paper from Teaspoon, and noticed a note at the bottom and read it aloud: _"More to follow. Remember; if you're good to me, I'll be good to you."_

"I guess she means she'll provide us with more information," Teaspoon muttered. "I don't know how or when."

"But what if this is a hoax? What if Mr. X's thugs are behind this strange letter? This is really weird," Buck suggested.

"Yes, I've thought about that possibility too, but if this is real, we can't pass on the opportunity. We'll just need to be extra careful, but I have the hunch we'll have to thank Mrs. McCloud or whatever her name is for what could take us forever to discover by ourselves."

"Won't you … won't you try to find out who's behind the letter?"

Teaspoon turned his eyes to the voice, surprised to realize that Louise was asking the question. "No," he replied firmly. "This woman went to a lot of trouble hiding her identity for a reason. Like she mentions in the letter, she might be in danger if some people get to know she's helpin' us. I do believe we should respect her wish for privacy, and be discreet about this matter."

"So are we gonna try to find this Albert Benson?" Buck asked.

Teaspoon smiled confidently as he said, "As soon as possible."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 36**

In the weeks that followed Kid gradually got back into shape. His wounds healed and ten days later he was back on his horse as if nothing had ever happened. During that time Teaspoon had hired a couple of replacement riders, not just because of the extra work that Kid's absence meant, but also because the marshal was employing his loyal riders to help him with Mr. X's business. They had been following the lead that the anonymous letter had left; every single detail there had proved to be accurate, and even though Albert Benson had not been found yet, Teaspoon knew that sooner or later they would catch him.

Once Kid was feeling better, he started paying attention to some other personal matters. Lou was so convinced that he could make his all-time dream of having a horse ranch a reality. There was no other way to reach the destination but by taking little steps along the road. Lou had suggested he get some horses from the same Indians who supplied the station. Kid could break and train them, and when they were ready, he could easily sell them. With rumors of an impending war, many men were traveling to and from the east, and horse selling was sure going to become a lucrative trade. Kid had to admit that Lou clearly had a good eye for business. She was full of ideas and suggestions, and Kid guessed that she must have inherited that trait from her father, who was a prosperous businessman. At least, she had something good from him, thought the Southerner.

Since their property was intended to be used as farmland, the place was not equipped with suitable facilities for too many horses. Therefore, before going along with the purchase of horses, Kid and Lou had worked together to build a corral in the middle of their so-far empty yard, putting off the enlargement of the stables for after the first trading had been undertaken.

It was on one of the posts surrounding the corral where Lou was sitting at the moment. She was beaming broadly as she watched in the short distance Kid and Buck talking to a couple of Indians, who had brought a group of six horses to the farm. Buck had accepted to act as an interpreter for Kid, and from her position, Lou could see their friend moving his hands with different signs to communicate with the two men. The Indians exchanged a brief look, and one of them nodded his head at Kid. Money changed hands from Kid's to one of the braves', and almost instantly the Southerner turned to where he knew Lou was, and lifted his right fist in the air in a clear victorious gesture. Lou responded by clapping her hands enthusiastically, and giving him the brightest smile.

The Indians left satisfied, and Kid and Buck pulled the six horses to the corral. Louise quickly jumped off the fence, and ran to the animals. "Oh they're so beautiful!" she exclaimed, and in her eagerness to come closer, one of the horses spooked, and lifted its hooves in fright. Thankfully, Kid quickly grabbed her by the waist, and got her out of danger's way. "Careful, Lou. These babies are still wary around people, even nice girls like you."

Buck managed to calm the startled horse down, and very aware of Kid's touch around her waist, Louise awkwardly disengaged herself, and her eyes kept admiring the horses surrounding her and the two men. "Oh… I can't stop looking at them," Lou whispered in awe.

"They're worth every cent we've paid," Kid replied, agreeing with his wife. "I just hope they're also worth the economic effort, otherwise we'll be ruined."

"Don't be so pessimistic, Kid," Lou said as she followed the men out of the corral. "You gotta believe in yourself."

"Listen to your wife," Buck added. "The ladies know what they do, so heed her. And like Teaspoon says, you've got yourself a nice lot of horse meat. You won't regret investing in your future."

"Yeah… you're both right. I need to be more positive."

Louise smiled. "And speaking of meat, what about having some dinner?"

"Actually, I'm hungry," Kid admitted.

"And you, Buck? Would you like to stay for dinner?" Louise asked.

"Thanks, but I'm afraid I can't accept your invitation," the black-haired rider replied. "Tonight I'm expected at Jenny's. I'm having dinner with her and her father."

"I see things between you two are getting serious," Kid remarked, patting his friend on the back.

Buck shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. "Yes… it's true. Jenny and I…well… we're in love."

"I meant you and Tompkins," Kid replied teasingly, a goofy grin flashing on his face.

"Kid! Don't be mean!" Lou scolded her husband, and turning to Buck, she added, "I'm really glad for you and Jenny. She seems to be a very nice girl."

"Thanks, Lou, but I have to say your husband's quite right. Tompkins has never liked me, and once he even kicked me out of his store. So I still can't believe I'm dining at his table tonight, and he hasn't raised too many objections to me courting his daughter. I don't know what to expect from this dinner, and I'm quite nervous, to be totally honest."

"Good luck then," Kid wished him honestly. "Tompkins couldn't have a better future son-in-law."

Lou smiled, silently supporting her husband's words, and after bidding Buck goodbye, the married couple went into their house. Louise headed for the kitchen to finish dinner while Kid took it upon himself to set the table. A few minutes later Lou walked into the dining room, carrying a steaming tureen. Her smile did not diminish for a second as she ladled the soup and sat down to eat. Curiously, Kid kept looking at her beaming face, and after a while, he said, "You look very happy tonight."

"I have reasons to be in high spirits. We did something good today, don't you think?"

"Uh… yes, it's exciting."

Lou studied his expression suspiciously. "You don't sound too animated right now," Lou remarked, and her smile faded when it suddenly dawned on her what he was not saying. "Oh… I… I understand. You're thinking about her."

"Her? Who are you talking about?"

"The girl from the portrait… your former girlfriend," Lou elaborated in a neutral voice. "I imagine you'd like to share this thrill with her… it's natural."

"Lou, you're wrong," Kid contradicted her, because in truth he had not given Doritha a thought today. Actually, it had been a while since he had last stopped to think about her. ""I'm just a bit wary… and yes, scared. Things mightn't turn out the way we expect, and all our money went to those horses. I know I still have my job at the Express, but I don't know… Something else might happen, and I could be injured again, and might not be able to work… and…"

"Kid, you think too much," Lou cut him off. "It's gonna be all right."

The Southerner nodded reluctantly, and after a very brief pause, she added, "And I want you to know I'm glad to share this dream… or rather the seed of a dream with you, and nobody deserves this position better than you. You're half the soul of this project, nobody else… nobody else at all."

Lou ignored his whole comment since she was more interested to learn more about the woman her spouse was apparently in love with. "Kid, is there a chance… this girl might leave her husband?"

"I don't think so," Kid muttered with downcast eyes.

"I'm sorry," Lou breathed softly. "In any case, I have to say she's one lucky girl." Kid raised his confused eyes to her, and Louise continued, "Despite what's happening, she has your love, and you have hers, which is more than what many have."

"I guess," Kid muttered uncertainly. Right now he was not sure how he felt for Doritha anymore. His hopes and dreams to be with her were now dead, and his whole self had come to terms with her absence in his life. Lately, he hardly thought of her, and the pain he had thought would be with him forever was completely gone.

"Who knows? Maybe one day you'll find love again," Lou said with a smile. "Hopefully, you'll have got rid of me by then."

"Lou, don't say that! It sounds horrible, and I'm really growing fond…"

"You know, when the time comes," Lou continued, cutting him off bluntly, "we won't have a problem to get an annulment… or a divorce. We can claim this marriage hasn't been consummated, which incidentally is true… and also that our fathers tricked us into it."

Her last words sparked his curiosity. She had mentioned once before that her father had not been honest, and he wanted to know what she meant by that. "Lou, how did your father deceive us?"

"Deceived you…not me," Louise corrected, and as Kid's intent eyes begged her to continue, her cheeks reddened in anticipation for what she was about to say. "Uh… remember what my father told you about my virtue?" Kid nodded, and Lou added, "It… it ain't true."

"What exactly ain't true?"

Lou's face flamed even more as she spoke again. "I'm… I'm no virgin," she stammered, her eyes lowering and focusing on her hands that kept wringing a napkin. "And he knew that. I… I… I was engaged to be married once before, but in the end he broke the engagement." Lou sighed, feeling tears prick her eyes, but she continued regardless, "Later I thought that since I was soiled goods, I'd die a spinster, but my father wouldn't accept that. I'm sorry he lied to you… well, I guess I also lied for not telling you, but that ain't something I feel comfortable telling a stranger. I know it wasn't fair to you, and I'm really sorry."

Kid was flabbergasted by what he had just learned. Now he finally got to know why a well-off man would marry his daughter to a poor nobody like him. If it hadn't been for him, he would probably still be single now. This new piece in the jigsaw would have made him angry before, but now he felt different. The only thought that had stuck on his mind was that Louise had been on intimate terms with a man, and the whole thing disappointed him, and strange feelings overwhelmed him for some reason. "Why did… why did your fiancé leave you, Lou? Did you argue or something?"

Louise lifted her bright eyes to him. "Kid, would you do me a favor?"

"Sure… what is it?"

"Don't talk to me about him. It makes me very sad."

Kid nodded slowly, and without another word, Lou picked up her spoon, and resumed eating her soup. From across the table Kid watched her sullen countenance. A few minutes ago she had looked so ecstatic, so content, and now her face reflected the same grim expression as when they had first met and married. Kid cursed himself for bringing up the matter, and making her sad. What was in her past wouldn't matter. Both of them had baggage, and what she had lived in her life was just her business. What Kid could not understand was how somebody could leave a girl like Lou. She was a great woman; funny, intelligent, hard-working, sweet, and charming. No sane man could be so foolish as to lose her. Who could be such an idiot? Kid stopped, realizing that he knew the answer to that question. The man who he was describing was just before him … he was that idiot… the complete idiot who wanted to leave her.

* * *

The following morning Kid was riding through town on his way to the station when he spotted Teaspoon and Noah dismounting in front of the jailhouse. A hand shackled prisoner was on a horse behind them, and once on firm ground Noah roughly pulled the man off his mount.

Kid spurred Katy towards them as he called their names at the same time. The marshal waved at him while Noah lifted his hand to the Southerner once before pushing the prisoner into the jailhouse. "Hey, Kid!" Teaspoon greeted him with a smile when the rider stopped the horse.

"Did you finally catch our man?" Kid asked, tilting his head to the marshal's office which the man and Noah had disappeared into.

"That's right… finally," Teaspoon replied as both men started walking towards the jailhouse. "One of the clues in the letter led us to Cottonwood. It turns out Mr. Benson's family lives there… under another name, of course. After makin' sure he was the man we were after, we arrested 'im. It was shame to do so in front of his wife and children though."

Kid nodded in agreement. Even though Teaspoon might appear tough to the casual observer, the marshal was a soft-hearted and compassionate man. Being a lawman was not easy, a job that involved witnessing people suffering, crimes being committed, injustice being done, and finding yourself at difficult crossroads on more than one occasion. For a man who was as honest as Teaspoon, his job meant many satisfactions but at the same time many more heartaches.

"Welcome, Teaspoon!" I'm so glad you're back!" Deputy Barnett said as the two men stepped into the room.

"Yeah… I imagine you are," the marshal replied ironically, noticing the chaotic heap of papers on top of his desk. Yet, he opted for not lingering on the thought, and walked to the end of the room where Noah was locking the prisoner in one of the cells.

From his position near the door, Kid kept watching in silence. The man behind the bars was probably in his early thirties. A thick, black moustache drooped over his lopsided mouth, and his shiny, sleek hair topped and a slim body. The man had dropped onto the bunk, his flexed right leg resting on the mattress, and his eyes directed to the wall on his left.

Teaspoon bent over before the cell, his hand grabbing an iron bar, trying to call the prisoner to attention. "Hey you!" the marshal called.

"What can I do for you, Marshal?" the prisoner asked sarcastically as he turned his smirking face towards the older man.

"I need information, and you are gonna give it to me," Teaspoon blurted out. "Who's your boss?"

"My boss? I don't know… or I don't remember… my mind's blank," Benson replied, amused that the marshal actually expected him to confess or divulge anything.

"You realize that you're to face very serious charges? Murder, robbery, arms trade… That would mean a certain death sentence," Teaspoon said. "If you were willin' to cooperate with us, the judge might lighten the sentence."

"You don't understand, do you?" the prisoner exclaimed loudly. "Right now I'm dead… either way. Please don't waste your time or mine. I'm not gonna talk… now or ever."

Benson turned his back to the marshal, putting an end to the conversation. Noah tapped the marshal on the back to call his attention. "Teaspoon, we won't get anything from him… we better leave him alone."

The marshal nodded unhappily, and both men walked away from the cells. Teaspoon sat down at his desk, and irritated after his fruitless questioning, his annoyance soared on seeing the chaos his desk had become. "Barnett, what the hell have you been doing with my office all this time I was away? Did you plan to pull it down?"

"I just tried to put your desk and papers in order," the deputy replied weakly.

"You call this order!"

"I didn't finish… that's why it looks a bit messy," Barnett said while Kid and Noah shared an amused look, listening to the usual banter between the marshal and his deputy.

Teaspoon groaned and grunted as he started tidying Barnett's version of order, collected the wanted posters and other documents spread over the surface of the desk. Among the dozens of papers, Teaspoon came to discover a small envelope he had not seen before, on the front of which his name was written. The paper sheets fell from his hand back to the desk as he quickly ripped the envelope open, and eagerly scanned the contents of the letter.

"Teaspoon, your tidying technique ain't too different from mine," Barnett remarked as the desk was again covered by sheets of paper, some of which had also fallen on the floor.

The marshal ignored his deputy's comment. "What's this, Barnett?" he asked, flapping the envelope in the air.

"A letter?"

Teaspoon had to breathe in deeply to prevent a curse from coming out of his lips. Barnett was a good man, but tried the marshal's patience more often than not. "I know it's a letter," the marshal exclaimed in obvious irritation. "I mean… when was it received?"

"That one? Oh… last Friday," the deputy replied.

"And why on earth didn't you tell me?" Teaspoon barked. He had been away for just three days, so when the letter got to them, he was still in town.

"I guess I forgot."

Teaspoon shook his head wearily. "Something else you might've forgotten, and I should know?" he asked sarcastically.

"Another one got here yesterday," the deputy replied.

"Another one!" Teaspoon exclaimed.

"Yes… must be somewhere. God, where did I put it?"

"Think, Barnett, think, for goodness' sake. Pray you find the letter for your own good," the marshal said in an irritated tone.

"What's going on, Teaspoon?" Kid asked, not sure why his boss was so nervous all of a sudden.

The marshal turned his eyes to his left where the cells were located, and noticed Benson looking intently in their direction. Therefore, not wanting to have curious ears around, he rose to his feet, and beckoned to his riders to step outside with him.

"Our friend has written again… twice."

"You mean Mrs. McCloud?" Noah questioned, using the name they all thought the letters belonged to.

"Exactly, and, boys, we have work to do again."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 37**

March came with the hope that spring was close. The cold weather had given way to the much-desired warmth of the new season, and there were days in which the sun reigned in its whole splendor. People welcomed the mild days so that they could leave the shelters their homes had become during the winter months, and everybody eagerly basked in the good weather and enjoyed the first symptoms of spring.

Teaspoon and his riders had been extra busy during these weeks as they had a station to run and rides to cover, and at the same time work multiplied as the anonymous letters kept coming, pointing out the direction their next steps should follow. A bunch of men had already been arrested, but like Benson, none of them had said a word that would bring the law closer to find Mr. X. Some of them had refused to talk, and others simply had no information at all, a situation that was becoming a real frustration, especially for Colonel Adams, who was determined to be the man to find out Mr. X's identity and stop his activities.

That morning, Kid walked into the marshal's office, and found his boss and Colonel Adams, who was in town with his unit, engaged in a heated conversation. "I don't see why we should change our course of action. This lady… whoever she is… she's helpin' us in her own way when she could well have stayed put." The marshal lifted his eyes to the rider in a silent greeting, and instantly shifted them to the army officer when he spoke up.

"Teaspoon, finding out who this anonymous sender is could lead us to the big fish… she knows who he is, and we need to know," Colonel Adams replied as he stood before the marshal's desk, his hands crossed behind his back.

"Even if we discovered who she is, there's no way to know she'd be more willin' to talk than all the men we've caught… by the way, thanks to her."

"I don't like this situation. We are like pawns in this strange game, puppets tied to a string. We get a letter and then follow what's written there like lapdogs!" the army officer exclaimed loudly.

"And what's the big deal?" Teaspoon replied. "We've caught a bunch of long-sought criminals which we might never have done without this woman's help."

"We don't even know if it's a woman," the colonel counterattacked. "This man or woman might have ulterior reasons for this apparently generous offering, maybe revenge on somebody."

"Whatever the reasons are, the bottom line is that we're profitin', and I don't see what difference findin' out her identity can make. Witnesses are never questioned about the reasons why they're willin' to testify. Why should this woman be different? I still think she fears her life could be in danger if certain people get to know she's helpin' us."

"Teaspoon, this matter is too weird, and our main target isn't any closer to being apprehended. I'm sure if we manage to get our mystery letter sender face to face, we will get Mr. X's name at the very least. You know, my superiors are really pressing me."

Teaspoon raised an eyebrow dramatically. "I guess a possible promotion's also pressing," he pointed out, uttering what the man was not saying.

"Maybe," Colonel Adams admitted. "I really appreciate all the help you're providing us, but I'm in charge here, and I want to do things my way."

The marshal folded his arms over his bulging stomach in defeat. "All right. As you wish. So what are your plans?"

"We'll keep watch on your office every night starting today. We think the letters are deposited here sometime in the very early hours of the morning, am I right?"

"Yes, that's probably right," Teaspoon agreed reluctantly.

"One of my privates will be posted in the building opposite the jailhouse every night until our target shows up," Colonel Adams explained. "Sooner or later this woman… if it's a woman… will turn up."

"One of my riders will also keep watch alongside your men," Teaspoon said seriously.

"It isn't necessary."

"Adams, it ain't a request… I'm just tellin' you how it's gonna be. You might be in charge, but this is my town… and I run things here."

"If that's what you want… fine," the colonel replied indifferently. "All I ask you is for discretion, or our plan will fail." Teaspoon nodded, and after bidding goodbye, the army officer placed his hat on his head and walked out with a proud gait.

When Adams was gone, Kid approached the desk behind which the marshal sat. "The day hasn't started very well for you, has it?" the Southerner remarked.

The marshal shook his head. "I don't think this will go well. I have a bad hunch, and I'm afraid we'll be regrettin' this course of action sooner or later."

"There's nothing you could've done, Teaspoon. That colonel didn't give you another option, but to obey his orders. Who knows? Maybe he's right, and we might find out more if we learn who this lady is."

"Yeah…" the marshal replied vaguely. "Anyway, there's no point in grumblin' about somethin' we have no power on. It's what we have to do." He paused briefly, and then added, "Son, would you be the first one to keep watch with Adams's private tonight?"

"Sure. Count on me."

"Good. Don't work at the station today. Just go home, and get some rest. It's gonna be a long night for you."

* * *

As Teaspoon had told him, Kid rode home after dropping by the station to let his fellow riders know about the marshal's orders. It was a few minutes after eleven when he made his way into his property. The sound of galloping hooves greeted him, and as Kid's eyes shifted to the direction a horse was neighing, he saw his wife and Lightning leaving the place.

"Lou! Lou!" he called loudly, but Louise did not hear him, and was soon out of sight. For a few seconds he debated with himself whether to follow her, or stay at home like Teaspoon had told him. He needed to rest in order to stay awake all night. Reasoning that he had the entire afternoon and part of the evening to repose, he finally decided to follow his first instinct, and fired after his wife.

Kid spurred Katy, and galloped out of the farm. Thankfully, Lou's tiny figure was visible in the distance, and the Southerner ordered his horse to increase speed. He did not bother to call her name because he knew she could not hear him. Louise disappeared from his sight once again after she had reached the end of the wide prairie, but from the direction she had taken, Kid could guess where she was heading. The road that she had turned onto led to the beautiful spot by the river where they had stopped once after their first and only leisurely ride together.

Not wanting to startle Lou, Kid dismounted at a safe distance from the river, and after tethering Katy to a nearby tree, he started walking towards where he could see Lightning drinking from the river. "Lou! It's me!" he called, but there was no answer from Louise, and he could not see her anywhere either. "Lou!" he called again as he came a bit closer. Once again his summon was unanswered, but suddenly, the sound of something or somebody plunging into the water was followed by a shriek, which Kid knew came from his wife. "Lou!" he called urgently, charging to the place and drawing his gun at the same town. The Southerner stopped dead on his tracks on the edge of the bank as his eyes scanned across the width of the river. Lou's head popped out of the water to the surface, and she started swimming, and happily splashing around, clearly unaware of Kid's presence. "Lou…" he whispered almost to himself, captivated by the beauty of the scene he was witnessing.

This time his soft call managed to reach her perception, and she jumped startled. "Kid?" she exclaimed in a surprised tone, and as the realization that she was stark naked under the water dawned on her, her voice took a sharper quality and she cried, folding her arms over her front, "Kid!"

At her cry the Southerner realized that he was shamelessly gawking at her, even unconsciously trying to make out what the water hid. "Oh… I… I'm sorry," he stammered, swirling around so fast that his voice faltered when his feet skidded in the mud on the ground. His attempts to steady himself failed; his arms violently rotated for a few seconds as if catching a handful of air that would prevent his inevitable fall, but he ended up dropping headlong into the river, water spurting all around him in the collision.

"Kid!" Lou called urgently. His drenched head finally appeared, a jet of water spouted from his mouth, and he started coughing. Lou stared at him for a few seconds in silence, and when it was clear he was fine, she could not help but burst out laughing.

The Southerner turned to look at her with a tinge of irritation, and Louise sent him an apologetic glance, and then started to swim away. "I heard you cry, and I thought you were in danger," Kid said as he struggled to get out of the river. His dripping clothes were ballast to his motions, and he had to push himself up three times to finally land on dry ground.

"I'm sorry," Lou said from behind the bushes where she was drying herself to slip back into her shirt and pants. "Just my reaction to the cold water. I didn't know you were around."

Kid had lowered his wet body onto the ground, his legs splayed out and his hands uselessly trying to wipe his drenched face with a likewise dripping handkerchief. "Lou, you should be more careful. What if somebody else had surprised you? There are some men out here that could do untold harm to a woman."

"Nobody ever comes here, and I love having a dip when the weather is good," Lou replied, still behind the bushes. "I don't intend to stop doing what I like just because it might be dangerous."

"But at least you should put something on to swim in," Kid insisted, looking in her direction as she left her discreet hideout, and walked to him fully-dressed.

"And you should take everything off now… before you catch your death," said Lou, dropping her towel in his lap for demonstration. Kid stared at her standing figure over him, and she added, "Let's make a fire and get you dry. Come on… get out of those clothes."

"Now?" Kid exclaimed in clear refusal. "Can't it wait till we get home?"

"No, it can't. I can't have you fall sick… I don't want to nurse you back to health when it can be prevented," Louise added in an authoritative tone. "I'll pick up some kindling for the fire. You get undressed."

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied sarcastically.

Minutes later a fire was burning when Kid shyly appeared from behind some foliage. The long towel was wrapped around his legs, and he had put on his dry jacket, which fortunately he had left on his horse. Kid placed his wet clothes over a fallen trunk near the crackling fire, and as he sat down on the ground across from Lou, making sure he did not show any of his indecent parts, she started laughing.

Kid sated at her, and among peals of laughter she said, "Forgive… forgive me. I… I ain't laughing at you. I was just remembering the pirouette you took before falling into the river… the fastest body in the west."

Lou laughed heartedly. Kid kept staring at her in silence, and after a while the intensity of his look made Louise uncomfortable, who sobered immediately. "What are you looking at?" she asked in a cocky way.

The Southerner did not reply straightaway. After a shy smile, he replied sincerely, "I've never seen you laugh before, and I like it."

His words made Lou blush, and once again his deep gazed bored into hers, which embarrassed her even further. The young woman lowered her eyes to the ground, and her index finger aimlessly started tracing indefinite figures on the earth. They remained in silence, and even though she was still looking down, she could feel his eyes upon her, which made a tremor course all over her body.

Trying to distract her attention away from his closeness and the strange sensations his presence triggered, Louise tried to find something to say. "And what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be working?" she finally asked, lifting her eyes.

Kid then explained about Teaspoon sending him home since he would be keeping watch tonight. As he told her about the conversation he had heard between the marshal and Colonel Adams, Lou's face contorted into every possible expression as feelings of surprise, shock and disappointment shook her. "But… but Teaspoon can't do that!" she exclaimed. "He said he would respect this woman's desire for secrecy!"

"Yes, I know, and he ain't too happy," Kid replied, "but the army's pressing him."

"You told me that thanks to those letters long-wanted men are gonna get their deserved punishment… the law's then winning, and in return for this lady's help, you're gonna treat her like another criminal!"

"I have the hunch Colonel Adams thinks she, or whoever that person is, is a crook," Kid said. "And naturally, he knows she can lead him to Mr. X, and he doesn't seem to care about his minions."

"It ain't fair… it ain't fair, Kid!" Lou exclaimed passionately.

Kid frowned in surprise at his wife's strong reaction about something that was so alien to her. "Lou, this matter has nothing to do with us. I don't understand why you're so upset about it."

His words made her realize she had let her guard fall, and if she was not careful, she might be found out right now, without the need of a scheduled watch. So Louise smiled awkwardly, and trying to look calmer, she said, "Yes… I know that, but… I dunno… if I were in that woman's shoes, I'd feel betrayed."

"Lou, maybe Colonel Adams is right, and this is the way to reach Mr. X. That man needs to be stopped… somebody who benefits from other people's wars and miseries shouldn't get away with it."

Lou shrugged her shoulders, trying to appear indifferent. What Kid said was true, but she could not reveal more than she had already done. "Maybe… but what about her, Kid? Has your colonel thought about the reason why she doesn't want to be found out? She might be in terrible danger."

"I don't know, Lou, but if this woman is at risk, I'm sure Teaspoon will do everything to guarantee her safety."

"Honestly, Kid," Lou continued in a low tone. "I really, really wish you failed." The Southerner gave her a shocked stare, and eager to put a stop to this conversation, Louise rose to her feet, and added, "I'll get some more wood before the fire dies down."

Lou walked away, and as her steps resounded in the silence of the place, Kid kept thinking that Lou was turning into such a surprise. She had nothing to do with that expressionless shadow that he had met and married these months ago. This new person put so much passion in everything that she believed in, and had so much life which astounded him completely. Kid regretted wasting his time and not giving a chance to know her sooner. Right now he felt pleased and at peace with his life, and though their marriage was not grounded in love, friendship might be as good a reason. Things were good for both of them, and he was feeling happy. So what else could he wish for?


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 38**

Kid yawned tiredly as he poured himself and his night-watch companion a cup of hot coffee. It had been very long, tedious hours, which had ended up with nothing. Only on two occasions suspicions had arisen when a couple of individuals had come close to the marshal's office.

The first one was Neil Wayne, a common drunkard, who spent many nights sleeping it off in a jail cell. Kid and his companion had watched Wayne stagger his way to the front of the marshal's office. The man, his back turned to the building from which he was being watched, lingered in the place for too long, and even though the letters were believed to have been written by a woman, no possibilities could be ignored. Yet, as Kid had a look through the binoculars the private lent him, he realized that what he had in front of his eyes was just a very dirty man, who was relieving himself against the jailhouse façade. Barnett, who was on duty that night, came barging out of the building, armed with an apparently dangerous broom, but Wayne scurried away before the deputy could catch him.

The second suspect was a lady, who the town had dubbed Cat Woman because she took in every single astray cat she stumbled upon. The number of felines she had gathered in her house over the years amounted to over a hundred, and superstitious folks never dared to come closer to the property as there were rumors that linked the woman to black magic. With all probability that was just mere speculation, but nobody could deny that the woman was peculiar, to say the least. When that night she surreptitiously approached the marshal's office, alarming voices rang in Kid's ears. Yet, once again that proved to be a wrong scent when Kid was privy to a very interesting turn of events. Cat Woman knocked on the door, and immediately Barnett showed up, and from the way he and the woman acted together, sharing more than words, Kid could guess that the lady also had other interests in this world other than cats. No wonder Barnett had shown a thin scratch on his right cheek in the last days, Kid thought with a smile. What was not clear was whether that scratch came from the cats or from some other source.

It was the early hours of the morning, and from his position before the window on the first floor above the tailor's shop Kid saw Teaspoon ride in, and ease down from his horse in front of the jailhouse. The marshal, though, did not go into his office, but shuffled to the building where Kid and the soldier had kept watch all night.

Kid turned away from the window as he heard Teaspoon's steps outside the front door. The marshal walked in, and after greeting the two men good morning, he asked, "Any news?"

Kid shook his head. "Nothing at all," the Southerner replied, and then proceeded to tell his boss in detail what he and the soldier had witnessed that night.

"I knew Barnett was sweet on somebody!" Teaspoon exclaimed with a smirk when Kid had finished his account. "He's lately clumsier than ever, which is too much for anybody… even him. He's usually quite absent-minded, but not like lately. Now that I come to think of it, he acted similarly when he courted and married that polygamous woman… Millicent whatever-her-name-is."

Kid raised an eyebrow, not familiar with the story of Barnett's fake wedding since it had happened when Teaspoon and his riders were stationed in Sweetwater, and Kid was not around yet. The marshal did not notice the questioning look in the Southerner's eyes, and did not explain the details of the story, but a goofy grin lit up his face as he fondly remembered his deputy's one-minute wife.

"Teaspoon?" Kid had to call him to snap him out of his daydreaming.

The marshal cleared his throat uncomfortable, and pulled himself together. "Uh… boys, let's call it a day," he said, and turning to Kid, he added, "Jimmy'll keep watch tonight, so you're off the hook until further notice." The three men then walked out into the street, and once outside the marshal said, "Let me buy you some well-deserved breakfast. Mrs. Evans makes the most delicious coffee in Rock Creek."

"I'm afraid I have to report to Colonel Adams immediately," the private said.

No sooner had the soldier's words been uttered than a cry was heard in the silence of the early morning. The three men turned their attention to the end of the street, and the cry that resounded again was clearer. It was a woman's voice, and Teaspoon's name reverberated across the street. To their surprise they saw Rachel run towards them, waving a paper in the air. Breathless and flustered, she reached them.

"What's up, Rachel? Are you competin' with the boys to deliver the mail horseless-fashion?" Teaspoon joked.

The station mistress grinned, and as she got her breath back, she said, "This envelope's for you. I think it's from Mrs. McCloud."

Teaspoon grabbed the letter, and quickly ripped it open. "Where did you find it?" Kid asked while the marshal ran his eyes over the letter eagerly.

"On the clothesline. I was gonna hang the laundry this morning, and the envelope was pegged on the line in my backyard," Rachel explained.

"Did you see anybody snooping around, Ma'am?" the soldier asked.

Rachel shook her head. "Neither did any of our riders. I asked them."

Teaspoon had finished reading the small scrap of paper in his hands, and exclaimed, "Damn it! I knew this wouldn't lead to anythin' good!"

Kid took the letter from Teaspoon, and read its contents aloud. _'Marshal Hunter, I'm sorry to realize you broke our deal. So from now on you're on your own. Good bye and good luck.'_

Teaspoon turned to look at the private. "We blew it!" he said. Even though he was aware the soldier was just following orders of his superior like he was doing himself, there was nobody else he could vent his frustration and powerlessness to. "Where are we supposed to go from here?"

"I'll report this back to Colonel Adams," the private simply said, and tilting his head politely to the two men and the woman, he took his leave.

Teaspoon shook his head in thoughtfulness. "How on earth did she find out we were tryin' to catch 'er? I didn't even say a word to Barnett!" His question remained unanswered. Nobody had an answer because nobody knew. Their chances to catch Mr. X and his men had become a remote hope, and the progress they had made so far had been reduced to dust because of one simple big mistake. "And now what?" Teaspoon kept asking himself, but only silence echoed in the walls of his muddled mind.

* * *

After picking up the eggs from the newly-built scoop, Louise contentedly crossed the yard, a small basket dangling from her arm, and her lips humming an old tune. Katy was tethered to the post in front to the house, which meant that Kid was back. "Hey, girl!" Lou greeted the mare, patting her on the back. "Did you miss home last night?" The horse let out a neighing sound as if answering Lou's question, which made her smile. "Let me put these eggs away, and then I'll get you some fresh water and good hay."

Lou walked into the house, and saw Kid coming down the staircase. "Hey, stranger," he greeted her with a wide smile.

"Hey, yourself," she replied in the familiar formula they greeted each other as of lately. "Where have you been all this time? I expected you to come back earlier," Louise said as she left the basket on the dinner table.

"Yes, me too," Kid agreed tiredly as he dropped onto the sofa in the living room, and then proceeded to explain what had taken place during the night and early in the morning. "So since Colonel Adams learned about the letter, we've had to endure his foul mood. You can't imagine what the man is like, Lou! Insufferable! He was adamant to know how our plans had come to be known, and he believed somebody must have blabbered away the information indiscreetly."

"Oh… rea… really?" Lou stammered nervously.

Kid did not notice the change in his wife's demeanor, and nodded to her question. "So he hadn't let us go until he didn't find out the tattletale." Louise stared at Kid fearfully, wondering whether he was testing her to get the truth out of her lips. Maybe Teaspoon, Colonel Adams, and their men were hiding somewhere on the property, expecting a signal from Kid, and they would jump over her when she least expected it. "Apparently," Kid continued after a while, "two days ago a couple of soldiers fooled around at the saloon with… you know, the ladies there. They confessed they don't remember much, just the hangover they had the following day, so they can't swear they didn't reveal confidential information.

"So do you mean that Colonel Adams thinks that one of the women those soldiers were with is Mrs. McCloud?" Lou asked as she sat in an armchair across from her husband.

"Who knows? Some witnesses claim that the soldiers were laughing raucously as they talked to a small audience in the saloon… not only those ladies. Seemingly, those witnesses remember something about some letters between Marshal Hunter and a mysterious admirer, or at least, that's what they understood. We don't know if the soldiers mentioned plans to keep watch at night, and if they did… well, you know how fast rumors and gossip spread in this town." Louise nodded, relief coursing all over her. "What a couple of fools!" Kid continued. "I can't believe there are such idiots in the army! Chattering away what they shouldn't in a public place! Could somebody be more stupid!"

Lou shifted uncomfortably in her set. Kid was actually talking about himself; he was the tattle tale, not those soldiers, but of course he was not a fool. "Kid, don't be so hard. It could happen to anybody."

Kid softened, and cast a smile in her direction. "You're so generous and softhearted, Lou," he said, which made Louise blush and look away. "In any case, I wouldn't like to be in their shoes when they have to face Colonel Adams."

His last words alarmed Lou as guilt nagged her overwhelmingly. Those men had not done anything wrong, and she didn't want them to get into trouble unjustly. "What's going to happen to them?" she asked, twisting the material of her apron in her hands.

"I don't know… probably, nothing much, but honor in the army is very important. I imagine they'll be locked up for a couple of days. I'm sure they will think about it twice before opening their mouths again."

Louise bobbed her head up and down thoughtfully. Their punishment did not sound too terrible, and even though she hated to think that somebody was going to be treated unfairly because of her, there was nothing she could do to avoid it. After all, witnesses had heard them talk about the letters, and their lack of discretion was something the army could not afford.

As Lou thought about it, worry about being discovered by the army was replaced by anxiety. As far as she knew, anybody in Rock Creek now knew something about some letters between Teaspoon and a woman. That could be a laughing matter that would send tongues wagging. What worried Lou was to think that somebody might have understood the whole story behind those letters, and the tale would go to the person she most dreaded. What if that happened? Her father must already be miffed as some of his men had been arrested. If he heard about the letters, he would instantly know who was behind this matter. In that case, she better start praying the earth open up and swallow her.

The dark shadow flickering on her face did not go unnoticed to Kid. "Something wrong, Lou?"

Louise shook her head and plastered a smile on her lips to disguise her fear and discomfort. "No…nothing. Just wondering what Teaspoon, or rather that colonel, plans to do now."

Kid arched his eyebrows to show his likewise ignorance. "I guess that, since there's nothing much to do here, Colonel Adams and his unit will ride off soon… unless he manages to get some more information about Mrs. McCloud, but I don't think he can dig out much more."

"You're probably right," Lou agreed unenthusiastically.

"And you were right about this whole thing too," Kid pointed out. "We played with fire, and ended up getting burned. We've lost our only string to pull. We won't hear from her again."

Lou nodded, and eager to change the direction of their conversation, she said, "I imagine you must be exhausted. Shouldn't you go to bed?"

"Actually, I'm not as tired as I thought I would be," Kid replied. "I'll stay here, put my feet up, and relax."

"Kid, wouldn't you be more comfortable in your own bed upstairs?"

"I'm fine here," Kid said in a slow voice. "But you better check out your bedroom. There might be something for you there."

"What?" Louise let out, her forehead creased in puzzlement as she did not understand what he was saying.

"Don't ask me," Kid replied with a grin while he tried to get a comfortable position on the sofa. "I know nothing. Just go and see."

Moved by curiosity, Louise shot up the stairs, and when she got to her bedroom, she noticed straightaway that there was a Manila-wrapped-up package on top of her bed. Louise first took the parcel tentatively, but her curiosity got the best of her, and she tore the parcel open. A bundle of navy blue material fell out of it. Lou smiled sheepishly, shaking her head in wonderment at the same time, when she spread the garment and discovered what it was.

Downstairs Kid was feeling the effects of a sleepless night, and his eyelids seemed to grow heavier and heavier until he could not keep them open any longer. His legs lay on a footstool in front of him and his head fell askew against his own shoulder. He was just about to cross the threshold of sleep when a voice resounding in the living room stopped him.

"So is this what you think I should wear when swimming?"

Still with eyes closed, Kid grinned and said, "Tompkins says it's the latest fashion in Europe. I hope you like it." His eyes then opened as he turned to her. Surprise instantly registered on his face when, unlike what he expected, he found her standing on the last step of the staircase and wearing the swimming costume he had bought her that morning. Kid stared at her agape. The garment looked so much different in her. It was a two-piece suit; the short-sleeved top wrapped around her torso, emphasizing her petite size. The bottom consisted of some kind of loose bloomers that reached a bit above her ankles, and a short skirt that covered most of her thighs, but tight enough to outline the shape of her hips.

Kid's eyes studied her keenly from head to feet, and a rumble hammered his head when overwhelming sensations stirred in his insides, as he was marveled by the image before his eyes. "It's nice," Lou said, unaware of Kid's struggle to keep calm. "But with so many layers, how am I supposed to feel the fresh water on my body?" she exclaimed, running her hand over the matching hat that covered her head.

Kid silently gulped as she mentioned her body, and thousands of improper thoughts came rushing into his mind. Even though he tried to shush them away, they just would not go. They were stuck in his head, and he felt his face burning. He was very aware of what was happening in his body, which was making him increasingly uncomfortable.

His silence and awkward expression naturally came to Lou's attention. She descended the last step, and walked closer to the sofa where her husband was sitting. "Kid, are you all right?" she asked, placing her right hand on his shoulder.

Her touch felt like a hot branding iron, and Kid jumped to her feet as if he were scared of her. "I'm… I'm fine," he stammered, wrapping his coat around himself more tightly in an attempt to cover his shame from her. "I'm perfectly fine, but I think you're right… I better rest in my bed. It's impossible to sleep here… too uncomfortable."

Before Lou had the chance to reply, Kid almost broke his neck in his eagerness to leave the room, and over all, her presence. He flew up the stairs, and ran into his bedroom. This couldn't be happening, he told himself over and over again as he flopped down onto his bed. He was just human, and Lou was a beautiful woman, who was dangerously too close. No wonder he was reacting to her many charms. Either willingly or not, he was risking his peace of mind by walking into her, or being surprised by her when she was showing more than a man could resist. Kid felt ashamed of himself for experiencing these unwholesome temptations when Lou had been such a good friend.

It wasn't his fault, he tried to excuse himself. His body reacted as if it didn't belong to him. He had no power over it, apparently. His problem was a case of excessive trust. Lou seemed to think of him as if he were just a sexless relative who would not react even if she were in her birth suit. Unluckily, he was not immune, and even though he thought of her as a good friend, he was also a man, even more of a man when she was around. So the solution was clear. From now on a few things would change. Distance was the key. So no more casual touching, and of course no more peeking, and then everything would be all right. As easy as that.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 39**

From the porch of her house Louise smiled widely as in the short distance she could make out Kid riding into the property alongside an unfamiliar rider. The young woman lifted her hand above her head, and waved. Kid had also spotted her, and reciprocated the greeting in the same way.

Today could be a day to remember, the starting point for the future ranch Kid had so many hopes in creating. In a small town like Rock Creek, almost nothing was a secret, so shortly after Kid had bought the horses, it became public knowledge that the animals, which came from the same source as those used by the Pony Express, would be for sale after being broken and trained. Kid had spent every single free minute he had with the horses, his bones stubbornly enduring the dozens of falls he had taken, and his body putting up with tiredness and the sometimes cruel weather.

Lou liked to watch him work. It was obvious to the casual observer that Kid really enjoyed what he did, and his face beamed with evident happiness. Louise usually watched him from a close distance, granting him the space he needed to work at ease. Apparently, he tended to get nervous and clumsy when he was aware she was looking. Therefore, he had timidly asked her to let him work on his own. Lou had agreed reluctantly because that meant she had to spend even more time in her own company, but of course, she had obeyed him half-way, stealing a peek at him from a discreet position.

Lately Kid was busier than ever which made Lou miss him and feel too lonely. In these months Kid had become the friend she never had, and she longed for his presence and company. In these last weeks she hardly saw him, and when she did, he was so tired that he went straight to bed, barely exchanging a word with her. He did not even stop to have dinner most days. Even though Lou understood the reasons for his absence, she could not help but feel a deep sadness. In a strange way she often had the temptation to ask him to save some time to spend with her, but she didn't.

The idea sounded too ridiculous. Who was she to act like a neglected wife? Yes, she was his wife, but not in a true way. Louise could say they had become good friends after a very awkward start, but she was nobody to demand anything from him, especially when she had no reasons to complain. Apart from her parents, she did not have an example on how married folks behaved, but as far as she knew, Kid was a good husband to her. He was kind, friendly, respectful, and hard-working. Money did not come in handfuls, but she did not need much more. The only thing she missed lately was Kid, and even though she often got to spend time with Rachel, that did not lessen her loneliness and desire to be around Kid in the same way they had been before.

There was a good thing in all this hard work, though. When Kid broke the wild stallions he had bought from the Indians, he had agreed to let Lou try and ride them, which she loved doing. Lou then had proof first-hand how fine the horses were, and what a good job Kid had done with them. The fact that Kid trusted her with the task boosted her confidence, and even her vanity. He had told her she was one of the best riders he knew. Those words had warmed her heart, and she had felt peculiarly special. Louise was fully aware of all her shortages and flaws, but she also knew she was a gifted horsewoman. It didn't matter if she lacked all the qualities a woman should have. She might not be pretty, clever or too feminine, but she didn't care. Kid admired her riding skills, which was enough for her, and for the first time in her life she felt totally free.

The day had dawned bright and hopeful, and both Kid and Lou were excited about this golden opportunity. This was a first step to make their plans true. The buyer, Mr. Kirk, was a cattle ranch owner, and every spring he drove hundreds of head of cattle from Nebraska to California, so he needed good horses for him and his employees. The man had heard in town that Kid was selling good animals for the task, and he would be interested in purchasing all six horses together.

That money would come to the married couple's household like rain after a drought. Even though they did not lack anything in their basic needs, it was also true that they had to handle their income carefully and cleverly in order to make ends meet. Kid had spent every single cent from the sale of his parents' house on the horses, and even though he earned good wages at the Pony Express, the expenses that the house and stocking for the animals arose left them with just enough to get by. Louise had volunteered to work for Mrs. Shaw, looking after her very spoilt children, but Kid had talked her out of it, arguing that she already worked too much, and they could live on what they already had. In any case, if Kid got a good deal with Mr. Kirk, the money would mean a respite for their finances. They then could make enough to allow them to get along for a bunch of months, and also buy new horses to keep the business going.

When the newcomers finally arrived, Kid introduced Mr. Kirk to Louise. At first sight the man seemed to be amiable and friendly. He was around Teaspoon's age, stocky, and quite agile. Receding white hair crowned his head, and a small moustache outlined his upper lip. After greetings were exchanged, Kid and his might-be client headed for the stables. Louise went back into the house, and busied herself in the kitchen. Kid had invited Mr. Kirk to stay for lunch, and presumably they would close the deal over a nice meal. For that reason Louise tried her best, and cooked a special meat dish, following a recipe from Rachel. First impressions were very important in business, at least, that was what her father said. He was a crook and a despicable parent, but one thing was certain: he knew his business. So Louise wanted Mr. Kirk to leave their home today with a very good impression. The man might become a regular client if he felt pleased by the way he was treated today. Therefore, Louise spared no effort to help her husband in any way she could.

So far, so good, Louise thought as she shifted her eyes between Kid and Mr. Kirk as they sat around the table an hour later. The smile on their faces showed that her efforts in the kitchen were paying off, and soon the man's praising words proved to her she was right.

"I have to say it again. I'm very impressed by what you have here," Mr. Kirk started when they were eating the apple pie Louise had baked. "A lovely wife… and great stock. You can count on saying goodbye to those pretty horses."

Kid immediately shared a look and a smile with his wife. "I'm glad to hear that, sir."

"I'm ready to pay you a good figure for all those six horses," Mr. Kirk said, slipping a small scrap of paper to Kid.

The rider read the number written on the paper, and his gay expression turned into an unhappy frown all of a sudden. "You must be joking," Kid said, lifting his eyes back to Mr. Kirk, and handing Lou the paper. "That's less than we first paid for those horses!"

"That's a risk businesspeople have to take," Mr. Kirk replied with a crooked smile. "Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose."

"You're crazy if you think I'm gonna sell you my horses at that price!" Kid exclaimed annoyed.

"All right… all right… let's do something. I'll equal the price you paid… every single cent. Do we have a deal?"

"Course not!" Kid retorted. "Those horses are for sale at my price… I'm not gonna accept any less!"

"Son, I'm doing you a favor," the man continued in a patronizing tone. "It's obvious you're still a greenhorn in this business. Grab the golden opportunity I'm placing on your plate. Do you really think anybody would buy all those horses at that price? Nobody knows who you are! You can keep on dreaming because that's as far as you'd reach. These are hard times… I'm offering you a fair deal, and if I'm satisfied, I might be ready to bring a more generous offer next time."

Lou had been listening to the exchange between Kid and Mr. Kirk in silence, fuming with indignation, but at this point she could not keep quiet any longer. "Stop treating my husband as if he were an idiot!" Lou barked.

"Stay out of this, woman!" Mr. Kirk sneered, flapping his hand dismissively as if she was a mere servant.

"Who the hell do you think you are! Coming here and trying to cheat us!" Lou continued in the same tone, her eyes shining with smoldering fury. "My husband is an honest man, and I won't allow you to take advantage of his good heart. This ain't a charity! Accept our conditions, or go looking somewhere else!"

Mr. Kirk smirked after Lou's speech, and turning his eyes to Kid, he said, "I didn't know it was your wife who fought your battles. Seems there are more henpecked men around than I thought!"

"Shut up!" Kid growled, and his angry words kept coming out of his mouth, but Lou just could not make them out. Her face flamed violently after Mr. Kirk's scorning comments, and all of a sudden, she felt a terrible urge to kick him straight where it hurt him most. Yet, she refrained herself from making a show and embarrass Kid even more, so she jumped to her feet, and ran up the stairs.

Kid's furious voice sounded behind her, but she still couldn't hear the actual words, or maybe she just didn't want to understand what he was saying. Once again she was committing her worst sin: speaking up when she should keep quiet. With all certainty Kid was angry with her, because thanks to her big mouth he had been mocked and ridiculed in his own house.

Lou dropped onto her bed, and stayed seated in the same position for what felt like many long minutes. She could still hear the men's voices downstairs, and not long afterwards the front door banged closed. Silence then fell in the house, and Lou wondered what had happened between Kid and Mr. Kirk. She was still livid, thinking about the way the man had shamelessly tried to talk them into selling the horses for almost nothing, and he acted as if he was doing them the greatest favor in their life. What nerve! Yet, now that she thought things through, she had to admit that she shouldn't have hit the ceiling, and let Kid handle the situation. Maybe the man was just haggling in a very aggressive way, and Kid might have managed to reach a better deal, or even accepted the one that Mr. Kirk had offered. Getting a refund of their invested money was better than nothing, and it would allow Kid to start again. Who knows what was better? Like the proverb said, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Knocking sounds snapped Lou out of her thoughtful mood, and she lifted her eyes to find Kid at the opened door. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Louise replied with a shy smile.

Kid stepped into the bedroom with slow steps, and dared to sit next to her on the bed. "Are you all right?"

Lou nodded, and said, "I'm sorry, Kid."

"Sorry? What for?" Kid asked with a quizzical frown.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you, honestly," she muttered, lowering her eyes ashamed. "I shouldn't have meddled."

"Lou," he called her, and placing a finger under her chin, he tilted her head to him, "don't apologize. If somebody owes an apology, it is that old fox… first, for treating us like idiots, and secondly, and more importantly, for disrespecting a lady like you."

Louise smiled, and moved her chin from his grasp to avoid the contact of his finger and the awkwardness his simple touch caused her. She did not know if she was a lady or not, but liked to hear that he thought she was one. "So you didn't close the deal?"

Kid shook his head. "I wouldn't do business with him even if he offered King Solomon's treasures for our horses. I won't allow anybody to silence my wife. You're as part of this as I am, and nobody has a right to shut you up. There will be other buyers… don't worry."

Lou bobbed her head up and down in agreement but with certain reluctance. "It's such a disappointment, though. We were so excited, and you know, we have little money to fall back on."

"Don't fret, Lou. We'll be fine."

Louise nodded, and the aura of sadness that still clung to her expression concerned Kid. "What's wrong, Lou?"

"Nothing… I … I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

Louise did not answer straightaway. "You work too much," she finally said.

"So do you," Kid replied.

"Yeah…" she agreed vaguely. "I… I … I know being a Pony Express rider and working with the horses at the same time here takes up a lot of your time… but… but… but…"

"What is it, Lou?" he urged her, curious to know what made her so nervous and tongue-tied.

"I hardly get to see you lately, and… and … and I miss you," she managed to say, feeling her cheeks hot with embarrassment.

"Do you?" Kid replied, surprised by her open sincerity. His heart unexpectedly jumped, pleased by her revelation, but at the same time his sense of guilt haunted him. He had avoided her on purpose in the last weeks because of the strange feelings that assaulted him whenever she was too close, like right now. Lou was a beautiful woman, and it was normal he felt allured. Of course he would never show Lou anything but respect. Yet, this peculiar appeal made him very uncomfortable, and that was why he wanted to avoid it. In any case, Kid had to admit that he felt the same way as Lou did. He also missed her.

Lou sheepishly nodded at his question. "You know, this is the longest conversation we've had in weeks."

"Yes, you're right," Kid agreed. "I miss our conversations too."

"At least, we could have dinner together like we used to," Louise suggested.

"Yes, I know I've been skipping meals too often lately. That can easily be sorted out," he admitted with a shy smile. His eyes drifted to meet hers, and he felt unable to move them from there. Every time he looked at her, he discovered something different, a new marvel on her beautiful face. He was mesmerized by every single detail: her eyes, her cute little nose, her lips… her beautiful lips. A tempting thought hit him unexpectedly. Couldn't he kiss her, and see where that led? They were married after all, and they might remain in this marriage for a long time. In fact, he hadn't thought about divorce at all lately. Shouldn't he try to be a real husband to her? As soon as the idea got into his head, he shushed it away. That wouldn't be right… that would make things more complicated. Could he offer her love? He didn't know, but he was pretty sure she would feel shocked if he hinted he wanted to get his marital duty. No, he couldn't do that to Lou… she was a good girl, who deserved his respect above anything.

Out of the blue, Kid jumped to his feet as if the mattress he was sitting on was burning hot, and without a single word, he ran out of the bedroom, leaving Lou totally bewildered, and wondering what was wrong with him.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 40**

Lou slowly walked down the street in the direction of the Pony Express station. The evening sun hung low on the horizon, nature's silent sign for the end of the working day, and on her way to the station, the young woman came across dozens of people eagerly getting ready to go home to their families. This was also Kid's usual time to call it a day at the station, except for the few occasions when he had to stay later, or finished work earlier. Lou hoped today wasn't one of those times, because she would hate it if she missed him, and had to struggle to drive home all by herself.

As Louise reached the station, she spotted her husband in front of the bunkhouse, checking Katy's saddle straps, clearly about to mount and ride away. "Kid!" she called, and when he realized who was summoning him, he stopped what he was doing, and ran to her.

"Hey!" he greeted her with a wide smile. "What an unexpected, though nice, surprise!"

"I'm glad to find you. I thought we could drive home together. The wagon is in town."

"Sure," Kid replied promptly, and his eyes looked her up and down, studying her. She was wearing a short blue cloak over a white lacy blouse, and a blue cotton skirt. Kid was surprised to see her so smartly dressed since he was used to her usual attire of plain dresses or riding pants. "You look mighty elegant today," he remarked, moving his index finger up and down and pointing at her clothes.

Louise shrugged her shoulders dismissively. "This is just what I wear for church, social visits, or the doctor," Lou said, stressing the last part of her speech so it was clear why she was dressed in this outfit today.

"The doctor?" Kid exclaimed, his blue eyes opening widely in alarm. "What… what's wrong? Are you feeling sick?"

"Not sick… rather clumsy," Louise replied with an unhappy scowl. "I clumsily fell down the stairs. I was sweeping the staircase, and somehow the broom got tangled between my legs, and boom… I took our fifteen steps in just one stride."

"But… but are you all right?"

"My body is a bit sore after the fall, but at first my right hand was hurting like hell," Lou explained, not bothering to apologize for the curse she had just uttered. "I thought it was broken. I don't know how, but I managed to drive the wagon to town. The doctor says there are no broken bones; my hand is just twisted, but it hurts all the same." Lou pulled up the sleeve of her blouse to reveal the bandage around her wrist to illustrate what she was saying.

"Oh Lou, I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Don't apologize," Lou replied. "It wasn't your fault. It's mine. I should've been more careful and less clumsy."

"I imagine the doctor told you to give your hand a good rest until it recovered," Kid said, and at her nod, he added, "Then, Lou, rest means rest, so I don't want you to strain yourself. You ain't to move a finger until that hand heals or the doctor says otherwise."

"But, Kid, there's too much to do… meals to cook, a house to clean, the…"

"We'll manage," the rider said, cutting her off. "I can do it."

"You can't do everything," Louise contradicted him. "You have to work here, and the day after tomorrow you have a ride."

"We'll think of a way," Kid insisted. "I can ask Teaspoon for a couple of days off, change my ride, or you can even stay at the station with Rachel while I'm gone. We'll see."

Lou knew she better not fight his arguments, because he was right, actually. She couldn't do much with her now useless hand, which kept throbbing with pain. "Shall we go home then?" Lou asked, changing the direction of the conversation.

"Sure."

Kid dashed to untie Katy from the hitching post, and when the couple started walking out of the station in the opposite direction Lou had first come, they stopped short on hearing a shout behind them. As they turned their heads to the sound, they saw Buck, who had presumably come out of the bunkhouse, running towards them.

"I'm so glad to see you!" Buck exclaimed with a smile when he reached the pair.

"You've seen me all day," Kid pointed out ironically, chuckling at the same time.

Buck grinned at the comment, and rectified his words. "I mean the two of you together," he said, teasingly elbowing his friend on the side, which Kid skillfully avoided. When he sobered, he added, "There's a big favor I need to ask you."

Kid and Lou shared a curious glance before she asked, "What is it?"

"Nothing big," Buck replied. "Tonight… well, actually, in half an hour I'm taking Jenny to the restaurant for a nice dinner, and I thought you could join us. My treat, of course."

"That's the favor?" Kid asked, feeling that there was more in this matter than meet the eye.

Buck nodded. "Jenny's father won't let us go anywhere unchaperoned, and we always end up having him along… every single time. Can you imagine what it is like to endure Mr. Tompkins' special personality when all you want is to be just with your girl?"

Kid and Lou had to laugh at the expression of sheer despair on Buck's face. They understood his predicament, but that did not diminish the amusing side of it. It was true. Mr. Tompkins was sometimes kind and amiable, especially with his most selected clientele, but he did not have a reputation as a frumpy, annoying, bigoted man for nothing. Having him as a future father-in-law could be an undesirable experience, over all for somebody like Buck. "And what does your situation with Tompkins have to do with us?"

"I thought that if we get together with somebody else on our outings, we won't have to bear him. It would be nice to have some other company other than him. And I'm sure Jenny'd appreciate to hang out with another couple our age. She doesn't have many friends." Buck paused, and then added, "Please say yes."

"Buck, I don't know," Kid replied. "I'd say yes any other time, but Lou's had a small domestic accident, and must feel tired, and ready to go to bed. And for my part, I've been mucking out stables and sweating all day. I can't go into the restaurant, looking like a caveman."

"That can be sorted out easily enough. You can have a shower here, and borrow Jimmy's suit. He told me he would be pleased to lend it to you," Buck suggested.

"Even so," Kid continued, turning his eyes to his wife, "that doesn't worry me. We could leave our dinner for another day when Lou feels better."

Before Buck said anything, Louise stepped in, "Well, Kid, we need to have dinner anyway, and you said it yourself, I can't cook tonight. I feel fine, just a bit sore, but other than that, I'm all right."

"You sure?" Kid insisted, and at Lou's nod, the Southerner turned to his friend. "Seems you got yourself a new pair of chaperones. But let me warn you. We can be as terrible as Mr. Tompkins. Ain't I right, Lou?"

"Most terrible indeed," Louise played along. "So no holding hands under the table, or kissing when we ain't looking."

Buck smiled, and then exclaimed, "Believe me… no one can be as terrible as Mr. Tompkins." Pleased, he patted Kid on the back in appreciation while he said, "Let's then get decent for tonight, my friend. We can't make the ladies wait."

* * *

When both Kid and Buck were ready and preened, they came out to find Louise, who was sitting on the porch swing in animated conversation with Rachel. After bidding the station mistress goodbye, the three started off towards town. "Boys, I gotta say I'm right now the envy of the town's ladies," Lou remarked as she noticed the appreciative looks of some women they came across. "You really clean up nicely."

"That's because we have to keep up with you," Buck replied. "We're actually scared that you pretty ladies dump us if we don't watch out."

Lou smiled, thankful for his discreet compliment, and turned her eyes to Kid, expecting, and almost hoping he would say something. Yet, he kept quiet, which for some reason disappointed her terribly.

"Why don't you wait here while I pick up Jenny?" Buck said as they stood in the walkway opposite Tompkins' store. The couple nodded, and then Buck ran across the street. Next to the mercantile there was a small room, which opened to the store keeper's dwellings, and as Buck got there, he rapped three times on the door.

"How are you feeling?" Kid asked, turning his gaze to Lou, who was looking at Buck waiting for the door to open.

"Fine," she replied curtly.

Kid was surprised to hear the dry tone in her short answer, and wondered why she sounded so stiff and even irritated all of a sudden. "Something wrong, Lou?"

"No, nothing… something wrong with you?" she asked in the same snapping tone.

"Uh… no," he stammered, feeling uncomfortable with this new attitude of hers.

"Good then," she replied sarcastically. "We're both fine."

Kid nodded in stunned silence. As he turned his attention to Buck on the opposite side of the street, Lou shook her head, cursing herself in silence for her silly outburst. What was she so upset about? What did she expect from him? Did she actually want him to lie and flatter her with empty words? That was what all those men sucking up to her father used to do… praising her nonexistent charms to get to him. Things were different for Kid, though. He didn't need all that flattering in the first place, and also he was courteous, but over all honest. Why would he have to say she looked pretty when she was not? Why? Just for her stupid vanity?

Lou wanted to apologize, but she was too ashamed of herself, and could not utter a single word. From their position the couple saw Buck greet Tompkins and Jenny, and after a few words both father and daughter directed their eyes to where Lou and Kid stood. The couple waved in greeting in the short distance, which was reciprocated by Jenny, but the store owner remained impassive and serious. It seemed the man was not happy about being replaced in his chaperoning duties by the married couple. Buck then shook hands with Tompkins politely, and when the door closed, the young couple started towards where their friends were.

Lou shifted her gaze slightly, and suddenly, her eyes stumbled upon a man whose eyes were directed to her. He was leaning against one of the posts supporting the walkway before the mercantile. Louise blanched when she recognized him, and her body shivered. Noticing her eyes on him, the man gave her a crooked smile, and made a greeting gesture with his hand against his right temple. His reaction perturbed her even more, and she ducked her head nervously. "Do you know that fella?" Kid's voice asked, startling her.

Louise timidly met his eyes, and nodded reluctantly. "He … he used to do business with my father."

The strange way Lou had reacted on seeing the man, and the stranger's cheeky attitude filled Kid with curiosity. He wanted to know what seemed to upset her so much, but as he made his decision to ask her, his intention was thwarted when Buck and Jenny reached them at that moment. Greetings between the couple and Jenny were exchanged, and as they started towards the restaurant, Kid turned to look at the man again, but he was gone.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 41**

"Here you are," Kid said as he put down Lou's plate in front of her at the table after he had cut her steak into small pieces. With her wounded hand she could not use the knife properly, and Kid had volunteered to help her courteously.

"Thanks," Louise replied in a dry tone.

Kid gazed at her with curiosity and even concern. Louise was acting in a very peculiar way tonight that threw him completely. First, she had reacted harshly, and sounded annoyed as they were waiting for Buck and Jenny. That, Kid reflected, might be put down to the terrible day she had with falling down the stairs, so the Southerner had disregarded it. Yet, what worried him was her sudden mood swing after she had seen the man who had been her father's business partner. There was something fishy in the way she behaved from that moment on. Now that they were in the restaurant, she kept looking around dreadfully, especially checking the door, and Kid suspected that for some reason she feared the man would follow her, and make his appearance. Kid knew nothing about the man, but seeing Louise act so out of character told him that there was something very fishy in all this. She hardly spoke a word, and the apprehensive expression on her face made her look like a completely different person.

"This is so nice," Jenny exclaimed with a wide smile as she looked around the place. The atmosphere in the restaurant was romantic and cozy. Flickering candles lit on the table and the delicate lamps on the walls gave the room enough light with a touch of intimacy. The pianist in the corner was playing Moonlight Sonata, which added up to the restaurant's pseudo baroque decoration.

"Can't believe that somebody who considers herself a true Lakota enjoys the pleasures of civilization so much," Buck teased his girl with a wink.

Jenny stuck her tongue out at him flirtingly. "I'm above all a woman, and we women appreciate good taste and everything our men do to spoil us, don't we, Louise?" Lou just gave her a neutral smile. The men also shared a grin, and after a brief lapse, Jenny exclaimed, "Oh look at that! Isn't it the cutest thing?" Louise and the men followed the direction Jenny was ecstatically staring at, and saw a woman holding a toddler at the table next to theirs. "Oh I love children!" Jennifer continued in the same enthusiastic tone. "One day I'd love to have a big family… four or five little ones."

Buck smiled tenderly. That was one of the things he loved most about Jenny. She was so blatantly sincere, which made him love her even more. She never cared whether what she felt and thought was right or wrong; she simply voiced what was in her mind regardless who her audience might be. "Don't you think it's a bit soon for you to consider children?" he asked lightly.

Jenny shook her head. "Not really. A woman thinks about becoming a mother since very, very young. Have you ever seen a little girl who doesn't play with dolls?"

"That's true," Kid agreed with a smile.

Unexpectedly, Jenny turned her attention to the married couple, and asked, "So what about you? Should we get ready to welcome a little Kid or Lou soon?"

The couple shared a brief look, and as soon as their eyes met, they averted them, and blushed hotly. "I… I… I don't think so," Lou muttered awkwardly.

"Why not?" Jenny kept asking, unaware of the discomfiture her questions were creating.

"Honey, I think that's private," Buck skillfully cut in, trying to save his friends from further embarrassment. He had never told Jenny the special circumstances under which Kid and Lou had joined in marriage, and as far as he knew, theirs was a totally chaste relationship, which logically would not produce offspring.

"It was just a question," Jenny replied, shrugging her shoulders. "But forgive me… it wasn't my intention to sound as a prying fool."

"It's fine. We ain't offended, are we, Kid? " Lou said in a low voice, keeping her eyes low because she felt unable to look at her husband.

"Sure," Kid replied.

Buck smiled apologetically as he said, "In any case, the current perspectives are not too favorable to bring a child into this world, are they?" Buck said, resorting to the first thing that came to his mind in order to change the subject of the conversation. "All these rumors about war are unsettling to say the least… that's all that makes it to the newspapers' headlines lately."

"Yes… that's true," Jenny conceded in a melancholic tone. "Pa's customers talk about nothing but this darn war, and I'm dead tired of the same words and conversation. After all, none of that has anything to do with me."

"I wouldn't say as much, Jenny," Kid contradicted her. "This war is about our country, our people, and it will divide us into two conflicting sides. It's something very serious."

Jennifer shrugged her shoulders in obvious indifference. "That ain't my war," Jenny repeated. "Maybe it's yours, but not mine."

Kid kept quiet, and for the first time that evening Louise's attention perked up. "Is it yours?" she asked, apprehension creeping into her soul.

The Southerner stared at her in silence for a few seconds, and finally said, "Maybe… I mean… yes, of course it is… it involves everybody in this country."

"Does… does that mean you'd be ready to fight?" Lou asked again.

"I'm from Virginia… my roots are in the south, and if need be, I'll defend the place I've always called home," Kid explained.

"And fight for slavery…" Buck pointed out.

"Look, I don't want to discuss politics here because this ain't the place or the time. I just wanna say I don't condone slavery… but… but the south means everything to me… my family, my memories, my whole life… I feel I owe the land as much as it's given me all these years." Kid noticed Lou's big eyes staring at him with a strange expression, and he added, "I don't know what I'm gonna do for sure yet, Lou. It's just an idea."

"And for all we know, there mightn't even be a war," Jenny added. "So Louise, don't worry about your beloved because there might be nothing to worry about in the end."

Jenny's words made Lou blush to the roots of her hair once again, and she started stammering, stumbling upon each syllable, unable to get a coherent word out. "Yes, she eventually managed to say, lowering her eyes, and focusing her attention on her safe food.

Today was proving to be such a horrible day. First, she almost broke her neck after clumsily plummeting down the stairs, then she had to see her most dreaded nightmare in the flesh here in Rock Creek, and now she learned Kid might leave for Virginia as soon as the war broke out. Lou knew she shouldn't get so upset about him disappearing from her life because that was the plan since the beginning. War or no war, Kid was supposed to divorce her when the time was right. So why should she feel this wretched? Maybe it was because Kid had not mentioned divorce in a long time, and she had entertained the idea it wouldn't happen. Louise had grown used to him, and in fact, she liked to live with him. They had some special camaraderie which she had never shared with anybody else before. The mere idea of him leaving for good scared her to death, and the additional bit that he might get involved in a bloody, cruel conflict which might mean his end was ten times worse.

Louise felt a sudden urge to throw herself against him, and cry in his arms, but she kept her composure. Jenny kept gleefully talking, meaningless words that were making the men laugh, and even though Louise longed for nothing more than joining the conversation, she just couldn't. Her gaze kept focused on her plate as she did her best to choke back the burning tears that fought bitterly to escape.

* * *

"Jenny seems to have warmed up to Lou," Buck remarked as he and Kid walked a short distance behind their girls after dinner was over. Jennifer was talking to a very smiling Louise enthusiastically as they had a leisurely stroll along Rock Creek's main street.

"Yes," Kid replied, fixing his eyes on his wife. After a few first awkward moments, Lou had loosened up and enjoyed dinner and the company. They had all shared some laughs, and good conversation, and as Buck said, the two young women seemed to have hit it off.

"Kid… do you mind if I make a personal comment?" Buck asked tentatively.

"Sure," Kid replied, intrigued by his friend's mysterious air. "What is it?"

"Uh… you and Lou… you're acting quite differently from the last time I saw you together."

"Differently?" the Southerner echoed, clueless about what Buck meant by his words. "What are you talking about?"

"You seem to be closer now."

Kid smiled. "We are," he admitted, and when he noticed an impish grin on his friend's face, he added, "but not in the way you think."

"What way is that?" Buck asked, pretending not to know what he was pointing at.

"You know… the kind of closeness you and Jenny have."

Buck nodded. "So there won't be anything going on at home tonight?" Kid replied to his friend by chuckling, and Buck insisted, "And you don't have feelings for Louise then?"

"I'm very fond of her, and I would be lying to you if I said I don't find her extremely attractive," Kid admitted. "She's a great woman… a great person, one of the best people I've ever met. I really appreciate her company and friendship… She's funny, sweet, charming, and passionate about what she believes in. We now get along fabulously, and are great friends. Right now she's my best friend, and I think I could talk to her about anything… anything at all."

Buck smiled after Kid's heartfelt tirade. "You just described what I feel for Jenny," he said, and before Kid had the chance to retaliate, he added, "For somebody who claims not to be in love, you sound too love-sick."

Kid shook his head. "You're wrong."

"What's the problem, Kid? You scared?"

"No… course not!" the Southerner exclaimed.

"She's your wife, for pity's sake! Just tell me you've never felt tempted to kiss her, and I'll leave you alone," Buck challenged him, and when Kid kept quiet with a serious expression, Buck cracked a grin. "You have, haven't you?"

"That doesn't mean anything… she's beautiful and I'm just a man! Anybody in my position would feel the same. I just know one thing: I won't do anything that might muddle everything up."

"That's what you're afraid of?" Buck asked, getting a better picture of his friend's situation. "Kid, what are your plans then? Spend your whole life with your wife but remain a celibate? Or are you still thinking about divorcing her?"

"I… I don't know. I have no idea what I want or what she wants… I'm so confused."

"Why don't you talk to her then? Share your confusion with her."

"Because you're right," Kid said, and at Buck's frowning look, he added, "I'm scared… scared of finding out what I feel, scared of finding out what she feels… and especially scared of spoiling everything we already have."

"That's a risk you'll have to take," Buck pointed out.

Kid stared at his friend in silence, considering what he was saying. Until this moment, the Southerner had not stopped to think about where he and Louise were going. It was true that his insides stirred and his whole body shivered when she was around. Would that mean that the impossible had happened, and he actually had feelings for his wife? He had no idea. He tried to take his mind back to the time, not so long ago, he had been so much in love with Doritha, but somehow this felt different. He was so sure about what he had felt for Doritha, but now… everything was so confusing. The last thing he wanted was to hurt or shock Lou. She was his very good friend, and of course he loved her in a wholesome way. Other than that, he was not sure. Would it then be worth ruining their very special friendship when he was not even certain of what he felt?

Kid's mental debate was cut short when Jenny's voice calling the men sounded loud and clear in the almost empty street, urging them not to lag behind. Buck and Kid eventually reached the ladies, and Jennifer said, "I was telling Louise we should do this again, you know, the four of us. It was fun."

"Yes, as long as we don't have to put up with your father and his lecturing speeches, I'm game."

"Buck!" Jenny scolded her beau lightly, slapping him on the shoulder. "That's not nice to say about a man who might end up being part of your family," she added, winking at him. "But yes… you're right."

"We had fun too," Kid said, sharing a look with his wife.

"Are you going to the social on Saturday?" Jenny asked as an idea hit her.

"I don't think so," Lou replied slowly.

"Why not?" Jennifer asked again, her voice sounding disappointed. "It's gonna be my first time… please, you gotta be there. I'd love to see some friendly faces other than my father's customers… I think they hate me."

"Maybe we can go this time, Lou," Kid suggested, smiling at Jenny's exaggerated arguments. "I ain't the best dancer, but it would be nice to do something other than spending another night at home."

"Yes, maybe we could go," Louise agreed, realizing that she was actually looking forward to it.

"Great!" Jennifer exclaimed in delight. "We're gonna have so much fun!"

"That'll be on Saturday, but now I guess it's time I walked you home. Your father will send a posse after me if you're not under his roof at the agreed time," Buck said, hating the time he had to leave his girl and return to the station alone.

The two couples exchanged goodbyes, and as Kid and Lou started to walk in the opposite direction towards the local stables, a shout calling the Southerner's name resounded. The couple stopped and turned around to find Buck, who said, "Kid, think about we've been talking about."

Kid nodded. "I'm afraid I won't be able to think about much else. And thanks."

As the married couple resumed walking, Lou could not help but ask, "What was that with Buck?"

"Uh… nothing… just some boring matter about work."

Somehow Lou could tell he was lying, but she did not press him any further because she thought she might not like to hear what he had to say. Buck's words would probably have to do with their uncomfortable conversation about the war and Kid's decision, and Lou had no desire to talk about it anymore, and would rather ignore the threat for the time being. What she had learned tonight was enough to shake her, and even though curiosity nagged her, she did not want to hear anything else.

The couple continued to the stables in silence. Kid retrieved the wagon, hitched the horse, and helped Lou onto it. "How much do I owe you?" he asked the groom outside when he was ready to get on the carriage, and drive away.

"Let's see," the young man said, checking a book in his hands. "Fresh hay, water, and grooming for the horse… and oiling the wagon wheels and…"

"One moment!" Lou interrupted as she heard the man listing the tasks he had apparently undertaken. "I didn't ask you for any extra jobs, and we ain't paying for something I didn't want in the first place."

"That's what the boss has written here, Ma'am," the groom said.

"Where's your boss?" Kid asked.

"In the shed," the young man replied, pointing at a small construction next to the corral on the other side of the property.

"I'll talk to him then," Kid said, looking at Lou. "Stay here. Won't be long."

Louise nodded, and from her position on the wagon's seat, she watched her husband walk away in the direction the groom had pointed at. Kid rounded the circular corral, and when he stood before the shed, he knocked on the door. Mr. Woodward, the stable owner, appeared, and then Lou could see Kid gesticulate as he talked to the man in a very expressive way.

"My, my, what a lovely surprise."

The voice sounded too close, and as Lou shifted her eyes from the scene between Mr. Woodward and her husband, her body automatically reacted with a shiver as she saw her father's former partner leaning against the wagon frame, and looking up at her with a crooked smile on his face.

"When I saw you before, I couldn't believe my eyes," the man continued. "You look different from the last time we met. More radiant… more beautiful."

"What do you want, Wicks?" Lou asked in a stiff tone, making an almost supernatural effort not to show how shaky she was.

"Nothing… I just want to pay my respects to a lady friend."

"You just did, so now go. My husband's there and won't appreciate you bothering me."

"Yes, I heard you are now married," Wicks continued. "But honestly, I couldn't care less what your husband likes or doesn't."

"Leave me alone, all right?"

"That's very rude of you," Wicks added in a mocking way. "If that's what marriage is doing to you, it doesn't suit you at all."

"If you don't go right now, I'll start screaming," Lou threatened, silently cursing herself for sounding so pathetic. If her useless hand wasn't bothering her so much, she would promptly grab the gun attached to the wagon seat, and she would show him for real how much she had changed.

"Take it easy, girl. I ain't doing anything wrong," Wicks replied in unkind jest. "I'm actually leaving town just now. Did you hear the news? Your father and I are working together again, and I'm off to see him. Maybe you want me to pass a message onto him."

"It's fine… don't bother yourself," she replied dryly. "Just go and leave me alone!"

"Lou!" Kid's voice called her, which was like music to her ears. Her eyes desperately darted to find him, and he was coming to her in a fast pace. As soon as Kid had spotted Lou talking to the man in obvious excitement, he had shot off to her. This was the man who she had recognized as her father's former partner, and by the way Louise was gesticulating, Kid could tell she was not comfortable.

When he was closer, he slowed down. "What's going on here?" Kid asked, eyeing the stranger warily.

"Nothing. I was just greeting your lovely wife. You're a very lucky gentleman," Wicks said, tilting his head to both Kid and Lou, and then he just walked away.

When they were alone, the Southerner studied his wife's face, which looked pale and perturbed. "Lou, did he do anything to you?"

Louise met his concerned eyes, and after breathing in deeply, she said, "Please, Kid, let's go. I'm fine." When after her words he remained motionless in obvious reluctance, she pressed on. "Please, please. I just want to go home."

Kid finally nodded, and climbing onto the wagon seat next to her, he urged the horse forward. They drove in uncomfortable silence for a while, but then Kid broke the ice, and started talking. He hated those silences between them, which reminded him of their first times, and he did not want to even have a memory of that. In just a few minutes he chattered away about almost anything that crossed his mind while his eyes kept focused on the road ahead. Lou replied to him with monosyllables, but at some point he noticed she was unresponding and totally quiet. A muffled sob sounded by his side, and as Kid's gaze shifted, his heart almost broke when he found her quietly crying. "Lou…" he let out in a low voice as he pulled at the reins to stop the horse.

Louise turned her tearful eyes to him, and in a trembling voice she managed to say, "Could… could you please hold me?"

Kid's arms promptly wrapped around her petite body and drew her to him. Her face buried in his chest as she kept sobbing while her good arm circled around his strong torso. The day was taking its toll on Louise, and she felt completely miserable. The encounter with Wicks and the idea that Kid might leave for good had powerfully joined together to overwhelm her, and she had finally crumbled down. She felt a terrible urge to cry her eyes out for the rest of her life, but curiously, she also felt at peace, safe and at home, as she sobbed against Kid's chest, feeling his warmth, his support, and especially his whole self.

No words were spoken as Louise kept weeping. Kid just held her in silence rocking her as if she were a baby, and wordlessly letting her know he was there for her. A tumultuous war was taking place within him as feelings struggled to get the winning hand. Anger towards the man that had upset her this much. Tenderness towards the woman in his arms. And fear… terrible fear as Buck's words resounded in his mind, and he started seriously considering his friend might be right after all.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 42**

In the week that followed the black clouds dispersed and a bluer sky shone bright and clear on the horizon. Lou's sore hand gradually recovered its strength and motion, which was a total relief to her, since, despite the doctor's recommendations for her to rest she had struggled to work at home every day. So now with her hand totally healed she did not have to feel like a pathetic little girl who needed to ask for help for even the simplest tasks. It had been just three days, but they had been the longest of all her life as she had to be marooned at home.

It had been impossible for her to go riding, and everything she tried to do took her too long. And also by the time she had finished all her chores, it was too late to go for a walk. During this time Kid had been on a ride, and even though she had promised she would stay at Rachel's while he was away, she eventually decided not to move from home. Of course when Kid had returned, she had to bear his lecture, but she did not care because by then her hand was fine and working.

Lately Louise had come to realize that Kid was becoming, or rather had become, a big part in her life. As soon as she woke up, her first thought was for him, and she quickly went to find him. When he was not around, she missed him more than she had ever experienced before, and as he returned to her at the end of a ride or his usual routine at the station, she welcomed him as if his presence was enough to brighten her poor existence. The idea that one day he might be gone and she would be all alone filled her with utter dread. Louise feared that once again she would feel as lost and lonely as when her mother had died. That was the most horrible experience she had gone through, a pain that had soared when she had lost her siblings too. Louise was sure she was heading in that direction and even though she did not want to suffer again, that was certainly waiting for her at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes Lou wondered why she couldn't go back to those early days in which she hardly exchanged a word with Kid, and he was just the annoying bore she had been forced to marry. That was impossible now. She had grown too fond of him. How couldn't she? Kid was proving to be an excellent man, and an even better friend. Last week when she had got upset after her encounter with Wicks, he had been there for her, supporting her without questions or demands. The following day he had simply asked her whether she was all right, but he had not tried to dig deeper, which Lou really appreciated.

Saturday came, and that evening Louise got ready to attend the social as she had promised Jenny Tompkins. She had a new dress, and, as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, her nose wrinkled in obvious dissatisfaction. The dress was beautiful but simple, but she felt and looked too weird in this fanciful garment. It was as if she was wearing some kind of carnival costume, which was totally alien to her, and it also reminded her of the time she lived with her father. That was the reason why she had got rid of those elaborate dresses her pa made her wear at his social gatherings. Louise hated those occasions, especially a specific one that she had struggled to forget since it took place, but the events of that day still popped up in her mind, catching her off guard. Her old dresses bore too many bitter memories, so when she had left her father's home to marry Kid, she had given all of them to Mrs. Bart, the cook.

Louise brushed her hair, which now reached her shoulders. Tonight wouldn't be like all those times she had to dance with her father's creepy friends. This was totally different. She would be escorted by her handsome, charming husband, and they would have fun. Why did she have to think about negative times now all of a sudden? Maybe it was because Wicks' encounter had affected her more than she had thought. Yet, tonight she wouldn't bring those dark moments back to her mind. This was the time to have a bit of enjoyment, and get rid of all those black thoughts. She could even say she looked quite nice in her new dress, and deep down she wished Kid would also think the same.

Done with her preening, Louise left the room, and walked down the stairs. Kid was in the living room, dressed in his Sunday best. His back was turned to Lou as he rearranged the few books they had in their half empty shelves. Louise stopped behind him, and cleared her throat to make her presence known. As Kid turned around and saw her, he was instantly taken in by the vision before his eyes. He stared at her in awe, and said, "Lou… you… you… you look beautiful."

Louise blushed, pleased by his words, and nervously ran her fingers through her hair. "You're too kind."

Kid kept staring at her unblinkingly. "I hadn't noticed it before, but your hair's grown quite a lot."

"Uh… yes… it's… actually, it's a bit messy. It's in that stage in which it isn't short enough to feel comfortable, or long enough to put it up. I guess I might get a couple of combs to keep the loose strands off my face," she blabbered on. Realizing that she was talking a load of nonsense, she blushed and giggled. Why on earth was she so nervous? "But I imagine you don't care about all these details."

"Whatever you do, please don't cut it short again. I like the way it is now."

Louise blushed again, cursing herself for the betrayal of her own body. Why was she acting so foolishly? This was just an ordinary social, and it was not such a big deal. Kid was only being kind, and there was nothing else in his comments. He wasn't trying to allure her or court her, and they weren't like the other couples that would probably be at the social. They were just two friends who would spend a nice night dancing and chatting. "Are you sure you really want to go? I hope you're not doing this for my sake."

"Of course I want to go. We have something to celebrate, remember? And there's no better way to do so."

Lou nodded with a smile. It was true. Yesterday Kid had sold two of his horses, and the customer had left satisfied, promising that he would recommend Kid to his personal circle. "Yes, I remember."

"And I think we're already running late with all this chitchat," Kid remarked lightly, stretching his arm to her pointedly. Motionless, Louise stared at it as if she were seeing a strange, scary-looking object. "You know, the girl, that is, you, takes my arm, and the boy, that is, me, escorts you out. Those are the rules in the place I come from."

Without meeting his eyes, Louise tentatively entangled her hand around the crook of his arm, and then gave him an awkward smile.

"You'll see, Lou. Tonight we're going to have the time of our life," Kid said, looking into her eyes. Louise could only nod as she followed his lead, and they both walked out of the house.

* * *

Music drifted out of the hall into the street, mingling with laughter and murmur of voices. The well-lit building glowed cheerfully, decking part of the house with a luminous aura. After leaving their wagon, Kid and Lou made their way to the place. The beat of the music was inviting, and as the pair finally stood watching the dancing couples for a few seconds, Louise unconsciously started tapping her right foot on the wooden floor. Jenny and Buck were already dancing, and the girl waved at their friends when she saw them, but they did not stop, and kept whirling around the place.

"My, my, look who's here… my favorite couple," Teaspoon said in his special flamboyant way, and the young pair turned to him with smiling faces. "It was high time you granted us the pleasure of your company and presence."

"It's nice to see you too, Marshal Hunter… I mean Teaspoon," Lou quickly rectified as she remembered the marshal's insistence she call him by the nickname everybody used.

"And you look stunnin', my dear," Teaspoon added courteously.

"Thank you," Louise whispered sheepishly.

"May I have the honor of this dance, Ma'am?" the marshal asked. "That is, if you husband doesn't object to it," he added quickly, eyeing Kid out of the corner of his squint eye.

"No objections… the night's long," Kid replied.

Teaspoon then led Louise to join the other dancing couples while Kid walked to the refreshments table, and helped himself to a glass of punch, and a generous piece of cherry pie. The Southerner watched his wife and the marshal swing and twirl around the place. Louise was smiling from ear to ear in obvious delight. Kid thought that she even looked more beautiful, and felt unable to avert his eyes from her. When the tune finished, Kid took a step forward with the intention to go to his wife, but stopped short in disappointment. Jimmy beat him, and was now Lou's new dancing partner.

Rooted on the same spot for over an hour, Kid saw his wife dance with different men, some of his friends, and some strangers too. The occasion was turning to be quite different from what he had anticipated. Kid had imagined enjoying Lou's company all night long, and had not counted with her being hogged by Rock Creek's male population. Of course he could also ask one of the ladies in the room for a dance, but he did not feel like it. Louise was the only woman he cared to dance with. Therefore, as a new song started, and another man snatched her, Kid told himself the next tune would be for him and his wife. So before the music of the tune was over, he was already walking across the dance floor to Louise.

The song finished by the time Kid reached her. Lou politely thanked her dancing partner, and heard somebody clear their throat behind her. She made a face before turning around because she would really welcome a break from all this dancing. She was having fun, but she was getting tired, and besides, it was not right that Kid had to stand in a corner, looking all bored when she was frolicking around. All his friends were obviously having fun, and Lou wondered why he did not follow their example. She would have to see to it, and before the last dance had finished, she had made a point of going to her husband and forcing him to enjoy the night.

Lou turned around, intending to tell whoever was calling her attention that she could not dance because this song was reserved for her husband. When Kid's face appeared before her angle of vision, her face lit up with a big smile. "Is your dance card full? Or may your poor husband have this dance?"

"It's never full for you," Louise replied in a flirty tone, which took her by surprise, and wondered where that had come from.

A slow tune started, and for a moment the couple did not move, but remained staring at each other. Kid finally took the first step, and dared to rest his left hand on her waist while offering his right one to her. Louise blushed, and awkwardly intertwined her fingers with his, and laid her other hand on his shoulder. They grinned sheepishly, sharing a knowing look as they started to move to the music. Lou felt her face burning and her heart race, and wondered why her body was reacting so strongly to his closeness. She had been dancing with half the men in the room, and nothing like this had happened. Why then did she feel so weird with Kid? … Kid, who was her fiend, her confidante, the one she shared laughter with, the one she trusted, and the one she could always count on. And why, even though feeling so nervous and awkward, there was no other place she'd rather be? The answer was clear, echoing in her mind, but it was easier to pretend to be deaf than acknowledge something that could be too complicated and scary.

After the first moments, the awkwardness gradually faded away and as he looked deeply into her eyes, he felt more at ease. His senses were more acute than ever. The soft scent of the hand-made soap that she had used in her bath called to him, almost hypnotizing and bewitching his whole self. Her warm hand and tiny waist felt so soft, so delicate, so enticing that made him long for more… much more, something that he was ashamed to even regard. The music, the murmurs and the people around them could well disappear. All he wanted was to keep dancing all night long, only with her, just the two of them.

"Ouch!"

The exclamation came accompanied by a grimace, and to Kid's mortification, he realized he had stepped on her right foot. "Oh Lou… I… I'm sorry. I'm so clumsy!"

"It's all right… no big deal."

As the exchange of apologies and disregard took place, the tune ended. Kid noticed that Lou was flustered and her face was shining with crimson splodges. "Let's get some fresh air. You look as if you need a break."

Louise was thankful that Kid had not guessed the real reason of her blushed face, and let herself be escorted out of the social hall. It was a starry night, and just a tiny slit of moon hung above their heads. Arm in arm, the couple walked in silence, both relishing the coolness of the night and the pleasure of each other's company.

After a while, they came to sit on a ledge at the end of the street. From there the music reached them vaguely, but other than that no other sounds could be heard. There was no one in sight either, and the pair remained in silence for a few minutes.

"Awful pretty, ain't it?" Lou finally broke the silence.

"Yes, you are," Kid replied to her comment, and when Lou gave him a strange look, he hurried to rectify, "I mean it is. Sorry… I was a bit distracted."

Louise smiled indulgently, and lifted her eyes to his. "Kid," she called softly, and when she was sure she had his whole attention, she said, "I… I want to thank you for lending me your shoulder the other day… without asking questions."

"Do you want to talk about it? I'm a good listener."

Lou shook her head. "I don't want to spoil the night… maybe another day."

"Whenever you're ready, I'll just be a shout away."

A smile flashed on her face. "You're so sweet," she whispered, and unexpectedly she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. After the initial surprise, Kid wrapped his own arms around Louise. They remained in a close embrace for long minutes, neither wanting to let go, and both enjoying each other's warmth and nearness. Once again time seemed to stand still, and Kid felt as if he were in heaven, and did not dare to move for fear that the moment would pass.

A loud voice resounded in the almost silent street. Very slowly they pulled away, and as they locked eyes, Kid felt a strong desire to kiss her. She was so close and so tempting, and without even being aware of his own motions, his head inched to her, and his mouth brushed against hers briefly. Their lips barely touched, a soft caress, like the vague touch of a feather, which might raise doubts whether it had been a kiss. Yet, they both blushed and quickly broke away.

Louise ducked her head as she giggled sheepishly, feeling embarrassed but swollen with joy. Once again she dared to meet his eyes, and in an unsteady, husky voice, Kid said, "Lou… why don't we… why don't we continue… uh… continue talking at home?"

Louise stared at him unblinkingly, wondering what there was behind his words. His blue eyes gazed back at her with a smoldering quality that intrigued and pulled her to him. After their hug and almost kiss, she was sensitive, and ready to do anything that he might ask from her, anything at all. She felt like putty in his hands, and her heart started to pound in anticipation as she nodded her answer.

Kid smiled, and as they rose from the ledge they had been sitting on, he grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. They walked to the wagon in silence, casting each other looks when the other was not looking. Neither opened their mouth to speak as they drove home. Nerves were on edge, and their stomachs in knots in eager anticipation. There was no say what was going to happen, but one thing was certain. Something had definitely changed.

When they reached their place, Kid helped Lou off the wagon. Their hands never let go of each other, and as Louise raised her gaze to him, time seemed to cease. They remained locked into each other's eyes, and it was Lou who finally broke the silence. "Shall… shall we go inside?"

Kid answered by moving towards the house. His hand was joined to hers and his eyes glued onto her beautiful face. Lou was a bundle of nerves, her hands were clammy and cold, her breath came in gasps, and her heart was beating so strongly that she thought Kid could hear it. Suddenly, an unfamiliar noise instantly drew Kid's attention. "Lou, stand behind me," he urgently whispered, as he moved in front of Louise. Naturally, he had left his gun at home, and he cursed himself for feeling so defenseless to whoever was trespassing. "Who's there?" he called loudly, while continuing to walk, his arm automatically behind his back and wrapping around Lou as if he could protect her with just this simple gesture. "Who's there?" he called again, eagerly trying to make out any movements in the darkness.

As Kid finally came closer, a figure appeared from among the shadows. His face changed from apprehension to confusion as recognition dawned on him and he could just croak a single name, "Doritha?"


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 43**

"Father died three months ago," Doritha said in a trembling, nasal voice as she tried to choke back her tears. After the initial surprise of finding her in his home, Kid had greeted and invited her in. Louise had excused herself and scurried up the stairs while Kid and Doritha had settled in the living room. "He started feeling very weak and got out of breath easily. In just three week he got so sick that he couldn't leave his bed, and in another two weeks we were burying him. I still can't believe he's gone."

"I'm really sorry," Kid muttered sincerely. The night was turning into the most bizarre. He was not sure what had really happened between him and Lou at the social, and when he was about to challenge those limits they had put up in their marriage, Doritha had shown up unexpectedly. Kid had not been able to explain to Lou why his former girlfriend was here because he did not know himself, but even so, he felt bad.

"I knew he had financial problems, but I had no idea things were so bad," Doritha continued. "Kid, the bank took over our house, our property… the place that has been in our family for generations… where my sister and I were born and grew up. All my memories are in that house, and now they're going to put it up for auction."

"Can't you and Garth buy it back?"

"Garth?" Doritha exclaimed, shaking her head meaningfully. "Don't make me laugh! That poor excuse for a man has been the reason of all my miseries and I curse the day I accepted to become his wife."

"What did he do to you?" Kid asked in a hard voice, his mind imagining all sorts of terrible scenarios. Garth had never been too trustworthy as a friend, but he had always looked like the perfect gentleman, especially around Doritha. Of course, appearances were often misleading. Lou's father had appeared to be a straightforward man, and he had turned out to be nothing but a beast.

"I didn't know his family had disowned him," Doritha said, her eyes shining with scorn and anger. "He told me a tall tale about his brother plotting against him, and that was why his family wouldn't welcome him. I believed him, of course, but that was a big fat lie." Doritha stopped to catch her breath, and then continued. "We had no financial difficulties. We lived in a big house, and were served by a bunch of slaves that Garth got in Charleston. I was quite happy at the beginning… of course I missed you terribly, and I continuously thought how much greater I would feel if you were my husband," she added, meeting Kid's eyes pointedly. The rider nodded awkwardly, and Doritha carried on, "Then I started noticing strange things."

"What kind of things?"

"Once I saw a couple of odd-looking men in our property, and when I asked Garth, he said they were just vagabonds begging for money. That didn't make me suspect even though I later learned that those men had come to see him. What made me suspicious is the dozens of times Garth had to leave during the night, or when he locked himself up in the studio and didn't let me in. One day when I was alone at home, I sneaked into the studio, and I found a bag full of jewelry in a drawer. Then I started to watch him closely, and I found out." Doritha paused once again to continue straightaway. "Kid, he had partnered with swindlers and crooks, stealing from decent people! When I confronted him with the truth, he had the nerve to say I had never questioned where our money came from, and why should I now."

"I'm really sorry."

"I couldn't stay in that house any longer, so I escaped in the middle of the night. I took some documents and bank bonds that I found in the study, which pointed his involvement in the robberies in the area, and I sent them to sheriff. I hope Garth's now behind bars, and getting his deserved punishment. That was ten days ago. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to bother my mother and sister with my problems, and I thought there was just one person who would never let me down: you," she concluded, resting her hand on Kid's softly.

Uncomfortable, Kid cleared his throat and removed his hand from hers. "And … and what do you plan to do now?" he asked tentatively.

"Can… can I stay here with you?"

Kid's face instantly showed his surprise. "What? Here?" She nodded, and Kid added, "Doritha, that ain't possible. First, it would be totally improper… you forget my wife lives here… and… and we don't have a room for guests. We only have two bedrooms."

A smile played on the blonde woman's lips as she quickly understood what he was implying. "You mean you and she don't share the bedroom?"

Kid had to shake his head reluctantly. Things with Lou had progressed greatly from their first days, but nothing had really happened. Strictly speaking, they were just friends with an affable, civil relationship, but nothing else. It was an unexpected surprise to realize that he actually wished he could tell Doritha that he and Lou were a real couple, that they were totally in love, but the truth was that their relationship was as chaste as the first day.

"All right. I'll stay at the hotel then. I don't want to cause you any inconvenience with your missus."

"Doritha, I want to help you any way I can… honestly."

The woman smiled. "I wouldn't expect any less from you. Kid, this is definite. I've left Garth for good, and I want a divorce… to make it official." The rider nodded, and Doritha added, "Kid, we can now be released from the chains of our forced marriages. This is our opportunity to finally be together. This is what we've always wanted, and as soon as we divorce them, the road is free for us and our love."

At her words Kid panicked. "But… but… but… there's too much to consider," he managed to stammer. The idea of a divorce had not crossed his mind for a while, and now that Doritha took it for granted that he would follow her lead, he was starting to be afraid. This encounter was proving to be an eye-opener, and he was discovering so much like the fact that he didn't want to divorce Lou.

"Yes, I know. There's a lot we need to discuss, but not tonight… let's leave it for tomorrow. I'm too tired. Will you drive me to the hotel, Kid?"

"Uh… yes, sure, but first let me tell Lou, all right?"

When Kid stood before Louise's bedroom, he paused for a second. There was a slit of soft light coming out from under the door, which meant Lou was awake. The Southerner finally knocked lightly, and a husky voice was heard inside.

"Lou, it's me. Can I have a word with you?"

A few seconds later the door opened. Louise appeared, clad in a white sleeveless cotton nightgown, and even though Kid noticed her attire straightaway, he tried his hardest not to look at what her skimpy garment revealed. "Lou… I'm really sorry for… you know… Doritha's unexpected appearance. It was a surprise for me too, but it wasn't right for you."

Lou lowered her eyes while her right hand kept holding the doorknob. "It ain't your fault, and you don't need to apologize."

"She… she's having it rough. Her father died recently, and she's left her husband, so she came looking for a friend."

"You must be a heck of a friend to make her travel thousands of miles," Lou muttered sarcastically, but so low that the words did not reach Kid's comprehension.

"What did you say? I didn't catch that," he asked.

"Nothing… I mean… I can understand that," Louise lied.

"I'm gonna take her to the hotel now. She needs a place to stay in until she makes up her mind what to do with her life. I won't be long."

"Don't worry. I'll be sleeping by the time you come back home," Lou said in a hard tone, and turning around, she slammed the door closed before his very nose. As Kid stood before the shut door, he shook his head, realizing that Doritha's appearance was already causing havoc. He had already suspected that her presence in Rock Creek would complicate things, and those complications had arisen sooner than he had counted on. Lou was obviously unhappy, and he did not want to even think what would happen if she got to know why Doritha had actually come here for.

* * *

When Kid woke up the following morning, the familiar smell of coffee, eggs and meat welcomed him to a brand new day. Lou usually cooked breakfast before he managed to get up. Kid always went to bed with the intention to wake up earlier and surprise her by having breakfast ready. Yet, he didn't know how, but Lou always beat him. And of course today it was hardly surprising. Since last night he had gone to bed later than usual, he had slept in.

As Kid made his way down the stairs, he was surprised to find his wife already sitting at the table and eating. Any other day she would wait for him, and they would share breakfast, but apparently today she could not wait this morning, or rather, as Kid suspected, last night's events were already making a difference.

"Hungry this morning?" Kid asked lightly as he sank down on his usual seat. Louise shrugged her shoulders, and without lifting her head, she kept eating. Kid poured himself a cup of coffee, and grabbed a biscuit and some meat from a platter in the middle of the table. Silence reigned for a couple of minutes as Kid battled in his mind how to find the best way to bring up the matter that had been nagging him all night long.

"Lou…" he finally called and as Louise fixed her eyes on him for the first time that morning, he said, "I want to talk to you about last night… you know… about the social."

Hearing his words, Louise started to feel nervous. This was a conversation she wanted to avoid at all costs. It would be too humiliating to hear his clear refusal and patronizing explanation, and after that woman's sudden turning up, Lou had no doubts what Kid's intentions were. This would be hundreds of times worse than when she and Kid had got married. Louise did not want to listen to him, so she tried to pretend she had misunderstood what he meant. "It's not such a big deal. You don't have to keep apologizing for stepping on my foot over and over again," Lou said, and wiping her mouth with her napkin, she got ready to make her escape. "And now if you excuse me, I'll start doing the dishes."

Lou rushed to the kitchen, carrying her breakfast things. True to word, she walked to the sink and started pumping water with strong motions. When she finished and tried to locate the bar of soap, her eyes fell on the silent figure behind her that she had not heard come in. "Lou," started Kid, who was too stubborn to let the matter pass. This was too important, and he wanted to make sure where he and Lou stood before he saw Doritha again. "I wasn't talking about your foot and my poor dancing skills. I was referring to the other thing."

"What other thing? Your friend?" Lou asked, once again playing dumb and hoping Kid would let the matter rest. She started soaping her plate and cutlery, which came in handy so as to avoid looking at him.

"No, not Doritha. I mean… uh… you know… what happened outside the social… the stroll, the hug, and … you know, everything else," he managed to say even though he was blushing as hotly as a glowing piece of coal.

"There's nothing to talk about," Lou replied dismissively as she wiped her hands dry on a tea towel. "Nothing happened. I guess… I guess we just got infected by the jovial atmosphere… as if we were drunk."

"Lou, it's more than that, and you know it," Kid insisted. "We can't pretend nothing happened. I really want to understand why…"

"There's nothing to understand!" Lou cut him off rudely. "It was nothing. And if you're worried about your friend finding out, don't. I won't tell, and you can maintain your spotless image as my indifferent, chaste husband."

"Lou that's not…"

"Please, Kid. Drop it. I don't have time for this, and there's too much to do. We'll talk later."

At her categorical refusal to talk, Kid had no other option but nod. Lou then walked out without sparing a single look in his direction. Kid remained in the kitchen, unmoving, alone, broken… The conversation had left him with more questions than answers. If Lou had told him that last night had meant something to her, he would have… Actually, he wasn't sure what he would have done, but he was sure her positive answer wouldn't have left him indifferent. Little by little he was learning to accept he had feelings for Lou, and he wanted to explore them. If only she felt the same…

Of course Doritha's appearance could alter things. Less than a year ago he had been so sure that Doritha was the love of his life, but now he had doubts. So much had happened since then. Naturally, he couldn't state he was indifferent to her, but now Lou also was part of his universe. Things were too confusing, and Kid was starting to feel the beginning of a headache. He had to think everything through… maybe being away from Lou and Doritha for the day would help him to clear his head, because otherwise he was in big trouble.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 44**

A candid smile spread across his face as he stared at the gleaming objects in his hand. Yet, suddenly a gentle push on his back snapped Kid of his reverie, and as he looked over his shoulder, he found his friend Jimmy. "What do you have there, Kid?"

"Uh… nothing. Just something I'm thinking of buying," Kid replied.

Jimmy looked down at the counter where Kid had left his would-be purchase, and gave him a crooked smile. It was a couple of matching tortoiseshell combs, whose edges were lined by a delicate painted pattern of tiny flowers. "I do hope those are a present. Your hair ain't your best feature, but resorting to those is a bit too extreme. Please tell me they ain't for you."

Kid chuckled at his friend's words. "They're for a very special lady," he said in a soft voice.

"Which one? Your lawful, wedded wife, or your sweet love of youth," Hickok asked. Kid had told the riders that Doritha, the woman he had been pining for when they had first met him, was in Rock Creek, and of course everybody was curious about what the woman's presence would mean.

Kid's beaming expression dropped, and he gave his friend a stern stare. "For your information, the combs are for Lou," he said, and raising his voice to draw the store keeper's attention, he added, "Tompkins, I want to pay for these."

Once the transaction was over, Jimmy followed Kid out of the store. "What's the occasion then? It must be pretty big for you to spend so much on just a couple of combs."

"No occasion. I told you… she's special," Kid said as they started walking towards the station.

Jimmy eyed his friend suspiciously. "You feeling guilty about something?"

His broad hint made Kid stop and turn to him with a severe look. "What do you mean by that?" he asked with obvious irritation, resting his hands on his hips and fixing his eyes on his friend's.

"You told us about Doritha and…"

"There's nothing going on between me and Doritha!" Kid exclaimed, cutting Jimmy off. "I'm married to Lou, and she's my main priority. Besides, Doritha's not the woman I've been thinking of lately." Jimmy threw him a silent question, and Kid paused, looking around as if he feared somebody might be eavesdropping. "Last night at the social… something happened."

Jimmy's attention perked up with this new piece of information. "Something like what?"

"Me and Lou… we… we hugged, and… and … and I think I kissed her," Kid replied blushing uncomfortably.

"You think?" Jimmy echoed, raising an eyebrow pointedly in obvious confusion.

"Everything was so quick and subtle. I know I kissed her, but I ain't sure she even noticed my peck," Kid replied, looking deflated and tired. "How could I ask her if she actually noticed my kiss?"

Jimmy knew that this was not a laughing matter for his friend, and by the way he looked, all this was causing him great strain. Yet, the long-haired rider could not help but start chuckling. Kid sent him an annoyed look, and when Jimmy sobered, he said, "Then make sure she knows… Go to her and plant the longest and best kiss she's ever received. That'll sure do the trick."

Kid smiled weakly. "I can't do that, Jimmy. First I need to know what she really feels. I tried to talk to her this morning, but she sent me packing, so to speak. But I've decided not to let it go, and tonight we'll talk for sure."

"So that's the reason for the present?"

Kid shrugged his shoulders. "Partly. I've never given her anything, and I also want to show her my appreciation. She's been the perfect companion and wife all these months, and I feel the need to tell her."

"And the next logical question that pops in my mind is: what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. What do you feel for her?" Jimmy elaborated, studying his friend's reaction carefully.

Kid did not reply straightaway, keeping thoughtful for a while. "I sometimes think I'm just confused, but I think I feel very strongly… so strongly that I'm bewildered most of the time. And you know what? Just thinking she might not care in the same way scares the daylights out of me."

"But you said she was willing to show her appreciation to you at the social. That must sure give you a clue."

"I dunno, Jimmy. This morning she started saying that we weren't ourselves last night… that we were just acting out. Maybe she feels that way, and regrets what almost happened," Kid replied in a rueful tone. "But then at the same time I firmly believe she must feel something for me too. She's too honest just to play fake games because she might have been in a weird mood. Lou's not like that at all."

Jimmy nodded. "So what about Doritha?"

Kid let out a deep-felt sigh. "She came as a new headache to my already muddled mind."

"You used to say she was the one for you… only her," Jimmy reminded her. "Do you mean you've stopped loving her?"

"No!" Kid answered impulsively. "I mean of course I love her… I guess I love her."

Jimmy's forehead scrunched up in great confusion. "Hold on there. You can't mean to say you're in love with two women at the same time."

"No… it's complicated to explain," Kid admitted. "I've known Doritha all my life… she's been part of me forever, and of course I loved… I love her. I think if we had got married, I'd have been quite happy. But then Lou happened, and she kind of crept into my soul, setting in a huge space that I now realize Doritha never took." Jimmy still looked confused, and Kid tried to explain himself better. "It's as if you'd eaten beans every day of your life. You like them, enjoy them, and eat them every day happily. But then one day you get to eat a scrumptious, juice steak served with roasted potatoes and soft vegetables. That opens you to new foods you never thought existed, and you discover what good food really means. Of course you can go back to your beans, but never again will they taste half as good as they did before you knew what a mouth-watering steak was like."

"I see."

"Doritha believes I'm gonna divorce Lou to marry her. I know I promised her to love her forever, but… oh God… I don't know."

"Kid, don't beat yourself up so hard. These things happen. You were young, and thought you were really in love. And if you promised Doritha eternal love, you also made vows to stay with Lou for as long as you're alive. Nobody could hold a change of heart against you. Lou's your wife, and if you have grown to love her the way she deserves, that's great. I couldn't be happier for the two of you."

"Thanks, Jimmy. But let's not sell the hide before hunting the bear. Lou might like me as a man as little as when we first met and married."

"Don't be so pessimistic, man!" Jimmy exclaimed, slapping his friend on the back. "Anyway, let me wish you good luck tonight. And please I want to be the first one to congratulate you."

Kid smiled, but still felt negative and low. He was not looking forward to talking to Lou tonight, but at the same time he couldn't wait. Kid wished he had the same optimism as Jimmy, but he was actually too scared. Tonight would be his turning point. He would either win or lose. There was no middle ground, and the idea that he might definitely learn Lou was not his to keep saddened him so much that he felt the urge to cry like a small baby.

* * *

Pulling at Katie's reins, Kid stopped in the middle of his property, but did not ease off his mare. He kept staring at his house, feeling his nerves throbbing at the pit of his stomach in a mixture of dread and exciting anticipation. All day long he had mentally rehearsed over and over again what he wanted to tell Lou, selecting the words carefully so that they were clear enough about his intention, but not so blunt that might scare her away. After finishing work, he had had a shower at the station and changed into the fresh clothes he kept there. Considering everything they had shared under the same roof, it was silly, but today he wished for everything to be perfect, and he didn't want to appear before his wife, smelling like a horse, and looking like a dirty cowboy.

"I better get a move on," he said to himself, and hearing her owner's voice, Katy let out a neigh as if she were trying to cheer him on. Kid smiled, and when his feet were touching the firm ground, he gently took a bunch of flowers he had picked on the way, and strapped to the saddle. His legs felt like jelly as he walked to the house, and Kid almost laughed out loud, thinking that if somebody could see him right now, they would laugh their heads off because of the show he was making of himself.

"Hello?" he called as he stepped into the lounge. The sound of steps eagerly walking towards the room echoed in the house, and Kid smiled in anticipation while hiding the bunch of flowers behind his back. Yet, his smile instantly froze when a different person appeared to welcome him.

"Hello, Kid."

"Do… Doritha?" the rider let out in obvious surprise. The woman smiled, batting her eyelashes flirtingly, and took a few steps closer to him. "Here I am as I told you," she said, and at her words Kid racked his brains, trying to remember if during their conversation the night before he had mentioned anything about her coming to his place. All he had said when they were bidding each other goodbye was that he would see her the next day, and that was all. "I didn't know what time you finished work, so I guess I came way too early. Louise let me in… she's a very kind lady."

"Yes, she is," Kid replied in a dull voice. His plans were clearly wrecked, and he was starting to feel irritated. The idea of Doritha stepping into his private domain repelled him. Like he had told her, he was ready to help her any way he could, but she should also know that she had to respect certain limits. "Look, Doritha, I…"

"Oh, Kid! Aren't you the sweetest of men?" Doritha exclaimed, cutting him off, when she spotted the flowers that the rider was holding in his hand. Baffled by the woman's unexpected appearance, Kid had forgotten about the flowers, letting them show. Unsurprisingly, Doritha thought they were for her, and had already snatched the bunch from Kid's grasp. "Oh thanks so much… I love them!" she said, burying her nose in the flowers to smell their aroma.

"Doritha… I… I…I…" Kid stammered, desperately trying to find the way to tell her that the flowers were intended for somebody else, but how cold he do that without sounding rude or embarrassing her? His gentlemanlike condition prevented him from crossing the limits of propriety, and kept quiet. To make matters worse, suddenly he saw Lou watching them from the door, and he blushed violently.

As Louise noticed Kid's attention on her, she took a few steps inside, and approached the pair. "They're beautiful indeed."

"Kid's a man, but he's always had very good taste," Doritha said, smiling in his direction flirtingly.

Kid was totally mortified by Doritha's lack of tact and manners. He couldn't have Lou think he was making love to his former sweetheart in front of her very nose, so even though it might be totally improper, he did the only thing he could think of to fix the awkward situation. "Lou, I brought you something," he said, searching his pants pockets, and producing the velvety pouch that Tompkins had put the combs in.

"Kid's such a gentleman!"

While Doritha exclaimed passionately, Louise silently stared at the pouch in her husband's extended hand, and finally took it. "Thanks," she replied without much enthusiasm, and put the present down on the table.

"Aren't you gonna open it?" Kid asked.

"Maybe later… I really need to go for a walk now," Lou replied harshly, and dashing past him, she walked out, slamming the door shut behind her.

Kid stood looking at the closed door with a sad expression, and Doritha's voice sounded again. "She definitely doesn't like you at all."

The cheerful expression on her face that stared back at him when he turned to look was enough to ignite his irritation, and Kid could not help but blurt out what he was feeling at the moment. "Doritha, what the heck do you think you're doing? I never told you to come and wait for me here. This is the place my wife lives, and you just can't burst in, not caring about anybody's feelings."

"I didn't burst in, Mister!" Doritha retorted in a loud tone. "Forgive me for wanting to be with you so fervently."

"You have to understand I'm a married man. What would Garth have done if I had shown up just to see you? I'm sure he'd have shot me dead in the very least. Don't you realize that this situation is totally improper?"

"I don't care!" Doritha exclaimed even louder. "I used to worry about what was proper and what wasn't. But where has that taken me to? I've wound up as a lonely, miserable woman, but hear me out, Kid. That's gonna end. From now on, I'll do what I want, and the way I want. I don't care about anything else."

"But this ain't just about you," Kid reminded her.

"Yes, but I didn't do anything wrong. Louise was very nice to me," the woman said in a calmer tone. "We just talked."

"Talked about what?" Kid asked, fearing what Doritha might have told Louise.

"You know, about my situation with Garth, the divorce, all that… we have so much in common. After all, we are both married to men we don't love."

Her words alarmed Kid at once. "Did … did she say that?"

Doritha paused to remember the conversation, which she had practically hogged, having Lou nodding or agreeing with monosyllables. "Not with those exact words, but yes, she did. And it's obvious from her behavior she doesn't hold you in high esteem. She was nice and lovely before you came, and all her charm was gone as soon as she saw you. Gosh, she almost pulled the door off its hinges!"

"What else did she say?" Kid asked in a dry tone.

"Nothing much… what we already know… that she agrees that both our marriages need a solution, and we'll all be happier when we get our freedom."

"I see," Kid said stiffly. All his hopes and dreams about him and Louise together had crashed miserably, and he was feeling so dreadful that he wanted to hide in a dark corner and cry.

"Kid, why don't we go for a nice walk? It's a lovely evening, and I still haven't seen much of the place you now call home."

"That… I'd love to, but I'm afraid I can't. I need to keep working here with the animals. My day doesn't finish at the station," Kid said. Right now he needed to be alone, and feel sorry for himself in solitude. "Maybe another day." Doritha nodded, and as Kid walked out, a strong suffocating sensation squeezed his chest, and the emotions clogged his throat overwhelmingly. Once in the barn and in the sole company of his animals, he let out a loud scream and his fist powerfully struck the surface of a wooden post. His hand horribly throbbed and complained after the impact, but even though he would have hit the wooden post over and over again, the physical pain would not have been close to the one that right now coursed all over his soul.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 45**

Looking out the window, Louise made an unhappy face. On the porch Doritha comfortably rocked back and forth on one of the chairs while her eyes scanned the wide yard. Since her arrival five days ago, the Southern young woman dropped by the ranch every single afternoon and stayed till dinner time. Lou was not sure why she bothered to come because she spent most of the time in her sole company. Louise always found an excuse on purpose to scurry out of her presence, and Kid usually worked with the horses, either in the stables or in the corral, an activity which had increased since Doritha had appeared in Rock Creek. Lou imagined that Kid must feel it was wrong to spend time with his former girl before his wife. In any case, Doritha never came close to him when he was working for some reason Lou did not know, so the only time they were together was when he drove her to the hotel in the evening, and Lou guessed they used that chance to talk.

Louise was fully aware that Doritha planned to divorce her husband, and in all probability that would mean her own divorce too. Kid would logically want to marry the woman he loved, and if Doritha was free and without ties, he would surely do anything to join his life to hers. Kid had not said a word about it, but Lou was not a fool, and could foresee what was on the horizon for her.

One thing she was absolutely sure about was that Doritha had changed everything. Since the moment the woman set foot in Rock Creek, Kid was unusually quiet, and hardly talked to her. Their house had filled with endless silences. Louise missed their conversation, their tease, their laughing. That woman had made her lose her best friend, and that was something Lou could not ignore or forgive. She felt so furious all the time that she wanted to cry. Why did that darn woman have so much power over Kid? What was with her? Why couldn't things remain the way they had been till now? Why did Doritha have to come bothering them and spoil everything? Why? Why? Why? The answer was clear… there was just one reason that Louise did not want to admit. That woman loved Kid, and he loved her back. Who could oppose true love? Nobody could, and Lou knew she couldn't either.

Unable to stand Doritha's image anymore, Louise moved away from the window, and sat down on the sofa to take up the hem of a new skirt she had bought. After a couple of minutes, there was a knock at the door. Lou cringed as she could hear Doritha's voice outside. This was unbearable, thought Lou. Not only did she have to put up with her presence, but with her continuous requests. She kept coming to the house, bothering Louise. Either she wanted a glass of water, or she claimed to be a bit peckish, or even asking for a blanket to wrap herself in, a ridiculous request when spring time was already in full bloom, and temperatures were mild to say the least.

Lou rose to her feet, and slowly made her way to the door. When she opened the door, her mood instantly swung as she found Rachel at the threshold. "Oh Rachel, what a nice surprise!"

The station mistress smiled pleasantly. "I was at home, thinking I hadn't seen you for a while, and well here I am. I hope I didn't come at a bad time."

"Course not. You know you're always welcome," Lou replied sincerely.

"Louise, you're definitely the perfect hostess," said Doritha, who had left her seat to greet the station mistress.

"Do you know Ms. Dunne, Doritha?" Lou asked, ignoring the woman's latter comment.

"We just met," Rachel explained. "It was time I finally made your acquaintance. I've heard so much about you."

"I hope you just heard the good part… I try to keep the bad things just for myself," Doritha remarked, giggling at the same time.

"Don't worry. I doubt my informant could ever say anything bad about you… or anybody."

Doritha smiled proudly, fully aware of the person Rachel was talking about. Lou, though, was finding the conversation disturbing, so she broke in, not caring if she sounded rude. "Let's not stand here on the porch. Come inside, Rachel, and I'll make us some tea."

"Thanks, Louise, but I have another idea in mind," Rachel replied. "Why don't we go for a walk? It's a beautiful day, and I'm tired of being cocooned in the kitchen all day long. So I'd appreciate breathing some fresh air."

"That's a good idea," Lou agreed. "Let me get my jacket first."

When Lou was back and ready for their stroll, Rachel turned to Doritha, who was sitting on the rocking chair once again. "Mrs. Maxwell, would you like to come along?"

Lou silently prayed the woman turned down the invitation, and luckily, heaven heard her prayers. "Thank you, Mrs. Dunne, but I'd rather stay here," Doritha said, which almost caused Lou to jump in joy, but the young brunette kept a straight face despite everything.

"See you later then," Rachel replied politely.

Lou did not bother to say a single word, and both women started off. They walked in silence for a while, just relishing the warmth of the last afternoon sunrays and the chirping of the birds. Rachel did not want to pry or rush Lou to talk, but she felt her younger friend wanted to talk and unburden herself. That was the reason why she had decided to pay her a visit. Rachel knew from Kid that his former sweetheart was in Rock Creek after running away from her husband. The rider did not talk much about the new situation that the arrival of his old flame had obviously created, or how Lou was taking it, but as a woman, Rachel could imagine that Louise couldn't be having it easy.

"How are you getting on?" Rachel finally asked, unable to keep quiet any longer. Lou sent her a blank look, and the station mistress added, "You know, with Doritha Maxwell around."

"I hate her," Lou blurted out, throwing a faraway look at the wide prairie ahead.

"Can't blame you."

"Oh Rachel!" Lou exclaimed, turning her bright eyes to her friend. "I'm so, so, so jealous! You can't imagine how much! I know it's silly, but I can't help it. Whenever she turns up at my door all happy and chirpy, I feel the urge to throttle her."

"Lou, honey! It's not silly. It's natural to feel like that."

Louise nodded, and spoke with a calmer voice. "Rachel, there's something I have never told anyone," she muttered, casting her eyes down.

"What is it?"

"I… I'm in love with Kid," Louise confessed in a low voice, and glimpsing at her side, she saw Rachel smile knowingly. "I'm not ashamed to feel like this, but I know I'm not supposed to have these feelings… it's wrong."

"Wrong? What are you talking about? He's your husband. How ever could that be wrong? I think it's beautiful."

"It is not when he's in love with another woman," Lou said bitterly. "And the worst is that I can't even show how upset I am about it."

"And why don't you talk to him?"

"What for, Rachel? I already know what there's to know. I can't stand the humiliation of hearing he doesn't feel the same for me. Besides, that would be too awkward, and I couldn't put us both in that position."

"You need to do something, Louise… anything. Throw a tantrum if need be, and show him that you're not happy with that woman pullulating at your home. That's totally outrageous, and you shouldn't have to put up with that in the first place."

"I know he's not too happy with that either. I happened to overhear him telling her something about it, but apparently she doesn't mind too much what he thinks," Lou said. She paused, and let out a sigh. "I can't believe things had turned out this awkward between us in just a few days. I was so happy the night of the social. Kid was so courteous, so gentle… so handsome, and I felt as if I were in the plot of a romantic novel, and he was my hero. At some point we were so close… so really close, and… and… and… he even kissed me."

"What?" Rachel exclaimed, her eyes as big as saucers.

"But not in the way you think," Lou promptly replied with a wry smile. "I think it was rather an accident. I practically threw myself to him, almost choking him in a close hug, and when we pulled away, his lips bumped onto mine. I guess he didn't mean for that to happen… but it was nice, though."

"You definitely need to talk to him."

"He tried to talk to me, but I brushed him off. I already knew what he wanted to tell me, and I didn't want to hear it." Rachel shook her head at Lou's stubbornness, and after a pause, Louise continued, "When she's around, she … she really fills the room… completely, totally, and in comparison I feel like a piece of filth. Can't blame Kid for loving her. It was daft of me to think he could actually feel something for the likes of me."

"Lou, don't say that!" Rachel scolded her. "You're a beautiful woman, and any man would sell their soul to the devil for a lady like you."

"But I don't want any man! I want my husband… I want him to love me the way he loves her!" Lou exclaimed passionately. Rachel gave her a sympathetic smile while rubbing circles on her back affectionately. Louise sighed, and added, "I knew that sooner or later he would want his freedom. That can hardly surprise me, and of course my days here are now numbered."

"What do you mean by that?" Rachel asked with a frown.

"I… I feel I don't belong here anymore… I'm like an unwanted guest, so I guess it won't be too long until I have to say goodbye."

"Louise no! If someone must go, it should be him. He's the one who has another woman on the side."

Lou smiled sadly. "We shouldn't be so hard on him. I know him, and I'm completely sure he hasn't done anything to disrespect me. We're both victims in this odd game. I never expected to fall for him. I can't reproach him for continuing to be in love with his long-time girlfriend. I knew about Doritha almost from the beginning. The problem is mine, not his. It's not his fault he doesn't feel the same." Lou paused for a second to steady her trembling voice, and then she continued, "Kid's life is in Rock Creek… his job is here, his friends are here, and one day I'm sure he'll own a great ranch too… I can't ask him to leave, and I couldn't stay either because it would kill me to see him and her as a couple."

"But what would you do? You can't seriously be thinking of going back to your father. Remember how he threatened you the last time he was here? He said he'd kill you if you didn't give him a grandchild. You can't return with him, can you?"

Lou hesitated. "I'll manage on my own. I can take care of myself."

"How?" Rachel insisted.

"I don't know! I can't think right now!" Lou barked loudly. "All I can think about is how miserable I feel, and I'm going to lose the only man I've ever loved!"

The tears Louise had held back sprang to her eyes, streaming down her cheeks. "Oh Lou!" Rachel exclaimed piteously, wrapping her arms around her younger friend and hugging her. The gates had opened, and Lou's body was racked by sobs. The tension and worries of the past days had finally broken her down, and as she cried on Rachel's shoulder, she felt more miserable because she realized that very soon she would have nobody to turn to.


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 46**

When Louise returned from her stroll with Rachel, she was feeling more at ease and less burdened. Confessing her feelings and miseries had lightened her soul, and a good, long cry had also made her feel better. Naturally, her pain had not disappeared, and she was fully aware that nothing had changed and never would, but at least, she had been able to open her heart without constrictions. Rachel had become a very good friend who had listened to her problems when Lou needed it most.

When Louise was crossing the yard in the direction of the house, Kid was coming out of the stables. He waved at her, and she waited for him to catch up. "Where's Rachel? I saw you two strolling out of here, and I thought she'd stay for dinner."

"I asked her, but she said her boys still need to eat."

"Especially Cody," Kid added with a grin.

Strangely, Lou found herself giggling, and realized that this was the longest they had talked in days. She really missed his silly remarks, and not only that, but also his smile, his laughter, or just the sound of his voice when he uttered her name. As soon as her mood had sparkled, it darkened again when she reminded herself that she was gradually losing all that and him to another woman, and she could not do anything about it.

The sounds of the cows and horses in the stables mingling together in a chaotic cacophony came as an opportune excuse to distract her attention. "What's with the animals today?"

Kid threw a look behind his back to the stables as he said, "Nothing that I know. Maybe a small animal's crept into the stables and startled them."

"Probably a rat," Lou replied, cringing in disgust.

"Yeah… I have to remember to buy some rat traps the next time I go to Tompkins."

Lou just nodded, and they walked side by side until they reached the house. They made their way inside through the kitchen door, and to their surprise, Doritha was there, hovering over a steaming saucepan on the stove. As she heard the door creaked open followed by steps, her smiling face turned to the married couple, and she said, "I hope you don't mind, Louise, but I've started dinner. I'm cooking a dish my grandma used to make. It's French, and I just call it Granny's hotpot because I've never been able to pronounce its real name. Did you know my Grandma Genevieve was originally from France, Kid?"

"No, I didn't know," Kid replied flatly. He could not know whether the lady in question was French or from Siberia or what not, because he had never met her.

"I'm sure you will both love this dish as much as I do," Doritha continued enthusiastically. "The problem is that I need more tomatoes, but I couldn't find any more in your kitchen, Louise."

"We have some more in the storeroom in the stables," Kid said. "I'll fetch some for you."

"Don't… I will," Louise cut in, and before Kid could protest, she dashed out as if the house was on fire. She would do anything so as not to be forced to stand Doritha's presence more than necessary, especially on her own.

The moon was timidly hovering in the starry night as Louise crossed the yard. She was already dreading today's dinner. Like every night Doritha would hog the conversation and chatter away endlessly, describing anecdote after anecdote that she and Kid had lived in their childhood and youth. Her loquacity always contrasted greatly with the married couple. Kid kept nodding or briefly commenting on her stories, and Lou just smiled politely whereas what she actually wanted was to shut her up for good. Every night Louise ended up with a splitting headache that soared as she turned in, and in the silence of her room she cried her eyes out for hours.

As Louise breezed into the stables, the usual silence was broken by a horse neighing nervously. Louise scanned the place, and her eyes fell on Lightning, who was whinnying and kicking the stall wall with her right rear leg. "Hey, girl. What's up?" Lou sweetly asked the mare, her hand reaching for the animal and caressing the area between her ears. At her touch, Lightning calmed down, and Lou smiled. "Been missing me these days?" she asked, realizing that in her intention to avoid Kid, she had stopped coming to the stables and forgotten about her favorite mare. "I'm sorry, darling. Shame on me for neglecting my baby."

Lou kept caressing Lightning's mane absent-mindedly, thinking how beautifully simple life could be for an animal. Lightning just needed her trough full of feed and water, and just a small gesture of affection. On second thoughts, Lou admitted that human beings were similar, but with a difference. People were never satisfied, and wanted more and more. At that moment Lou asked herself why she couldn't be happy with what life had granted her. Aspiring for more was too painful when the object of her affection was already out of reach. "Oh Lightning, why do people need each other? Why are the simplest things so difficult?" she muttered sadly.

Suddenly, she jumped startled as with a loud neigh the mare lifted on her hind legs nervously, and in the motion Lou's hand violently hit the stall door. "Girl, what…?"

Louise could not finish the sentence as to her utter horror, she felt a strange hand cover her mouth. Her first instinct pushed her to let out a loud scream, but all she managed was a muffled sound as the unfamiliar palm pressed strongly against her lips. Almost instantly her body reacted, thrashing and kicking against the person she could feel behind her. Yet, she stopped dead as the cold metal of a gun barrel pressed against her temple at the same time as the click of its hammer being pulled sounded near her ear. "Be a good girl, and I won't harm you."

Lou's scared eyes turned to the voice, and came face to face with a young man around her age. Jet black hair framed his pale-skinned face, a contrasting combination that completed his blue eyes, which, unlike Kid's soft, warm gaze, looked cold and vicious. "Now, Ma'am, you and I are gonna pay a visit to that husband of yours. That treacherous hyena has something that belongs to me. You have nothing to fear if he behaves and hands me my wife back. Otherwise, you better start praying."

Louise's eyes widened in surprise as she realized that this was Doritha's crooked husband. Impulsively, she tried to scream, but again her voice got muffled against his hand. Despite the gun against her temple, she struggled to break free. Yet, Garth steeled his hold and his hand shifted from her mouth and wrapped strongly around her neck. The lack of air stilled her movements, and as Garth pressed her throat more and more tightly, she thought she was going to die. "Seems you're a feisty little thing. Didn't your husband teach you any manners?" Garth hissed viciously, grinding his teeth as he squeezed her neck. "What do you intend to do? Getting killed right here, stupid woman? He's not worth it, you know."

Garth finally released the pressure on her neck, and Louise fell onto the floor, overcome by a fit of coughing as she struggled to get her breath back. Before she could do so, Garth roughly pulled her up to her feet and grabbing her by the collar of her dress, he yanked her out of the stables toward the house. Lou almost fell on the porch as he forced her along, but Garth did not pause, and with a strong shove he raucously opened the door with a kick. Likewise, Lou was pushed forward violently, landing on the wooden floor of her living room.

At the racket Kid and Doritha emerged from the kitchen, and stopped short just as Louise was hauled up from the floor and threatened again with the gun. "Garth…" Doritha breathed in total shock.

"Hello, my dear spouse. Surprised to see me?" Garth snickered, and then his tone hardened. "What did you think? Did you actually believe you could walk out on me like that? You're my wife, and your place is with me. So get ready to leave right now!"

"I'd rather kill myself than go back with you!"" Doritha stated proudly. "Leave Louise out of this, and act like a man for once in your life."

"If you do something to my wife, you'll wish to be dead!" Kid threatened, his blue eyes shining with the anguishing fear he was feeling.

Garth glanced at his former friend and rival. "I have nothing against your missus, but her wellbeing is in your hands. The deal is straightforward. Your wife for mine. You decide," he said, pressing his gun harder on Lou's neck.

"You're crazy!" Doritha cried. "Let her go!"

"If you walk out now, we won't report you. Please release Lou," Kid said as calmly as he could in the present circumstances. Garth was apparently nervous and able to do anything. Getting him riled up was not the most suitable way to proceed, and Lou's life depended on the hands of that madman.

"I'm sorry, but my conditions are not open for discussion. I'm not budging here. I came for my wife, and I won't go without her."

"And you think I would actually want to go with you after this stunt?" Doritha exclaimed loudly.

"I love you, Doritha. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to gain you back."

"And is this the way you're trying to redeem yourself?" Doritha continued in the same harsh tone. "What kind of woman do you take me for? I didn't want you before, and I absolutely don't want you now."

"You're my wife," Garth repeated. "You vowed to love and obey me!"

"And you vowed to respect me. Is this your idea of respect? You're nothing but a lying snake, a thief, and a coward!"

In this exchange between husband and wife, Lou locked eyes with Kid in the short distance separating them, and he could swear she was trying to tell him something. Garth had relaxed his hold on her, but when Doritha called him a coward, Louise felt him stiffen as he started barking. "Nobody calls me a coward! Nobody! You hear me? Not even you… Utter a single word again, and I'll forget all the vows I pledged on our wedding day!"

As Garth boomed his threats angrily, he moved his gun to aim at his wife as a way to demonstrate his intentions. In just those brief seconds, Lou was quick to react and with a swift motion she managed to powerfully elbow him. After that, the events succeeded in quick succession. The strike took Garth off guard, and he doubled in pain. Louise briskly scurried away from him, and when Garth managed to get a grip of himself, he aimed at her fleeting figure, ready to shoot.

"No!" an agonizing cry came out from Kid as Lou fell when the bullet hit her. Without thinking about it twice, the rider threw himself against Garth, knocking him down to the floor. In what seemed like hours but was actually seconds, the two men fought for the gun, and all of a sudden, a second shot went off. Doritha yelled deafeningly as she stared at the now still bodies. Blood formed into a pool on the floor, and the scent of death could be sensed in the air.

There was finally some motion coming from the two falling figures. Kid pushed Garth's inert body off him. "Oh God!" Doritha cried as she realized that Garth was dead, and she knelt next to her husband. In his part, Kid quickly scanned the room looking for his wife. She was sitting on the floor, and blood soaked the top of her right dress sleeve. "Lou!" Kid called desperately as he crouched in front of her, cupping her face in his hands. "Oh Lou, please tell me you're all right. Tell me you're all right," he kept repeating over and over again.

"I… I'm fine," she said. "It's just a graze."

"You sure?" Kid insisted, convulsively touching her as if he could not believe she was alive. When Garth had shot, Kid had feared for her life, the most terrifying moment in his whole life.

"Yes… I'm fine," Lou reassured. Sobbing and wailing sounds filled the room, and Lou turned her eyes to see Doritha desperately weeping in front of Garth's corpse. "Go to her," Louise whispered, nodding in Doritha's direction.

"But you…"

"She needs you," Lou interrupted him in midsentence. "And I'm fine."

Kid nodded slowly. Lou remained in the same position, watching him bend over Doritha. She lifted her weepy eyes to him, and let herself be helped to her feet. The blonde woman eagerly wrapped her arms around Kid and kept crying against Kid's chest while he tried to soothe her, stroking her hair and whispering soft words. Louise kept looking at them and stretched her lips with some strange expression. With her good hand she managed to push herself up, and as she walked away from the terrible scene in her living room, a lone tear managed to force its way against her will, and ran down her face, which became the sole company to her lonely soul.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 47**

That very night the doctor confirmed that Garth had died from a bullet wound to his chest, so Louise, Doritha, and especially Kid had to answer endless questions about the events that had led to the man's untimely death. Teaspoon had finally concluded that an accidental shot had killed Garth as he and Kid had fought to take hold of the gun the deceased had used to threaten and shoot Louise with. Fortunately, like Lou had rightly said, the wound in her arm was just a graze, and the doctor had simply applied an ointment, covered the injury with a bandage, and prescribed her arm to rest for a few days.

Following Garth's death, things between Kid and Lou became even more awkward. Teaspoon had allowed the rider to have a few days off, but paradoxically, that had meant for the married couple to speak less and have fewer moments together. In those days Doritha spent every single second at the ranch, demanding Kid's attention as the poor mourning widow she claimed to be. Kid had been unable to refuse when she had asked him to let her stay overnight too, so Doritha had taken his bedroom and Kid went to sleep at the station. Naturally, Lou could not voice her disagreement because she understood his delicate position, and she knew that in his place Lou would have done the same.

What Lou did not understand was Doritha's attitude. Just before Garth's death, she had proclaimed she had never loved her husband, and that the day she regained her freedom, she would be the happiest woman on earth. Yet, she kept sobbing and wailing almost all day long, indiscreetly begging to be comforted when Kid was around, and of course he could not deny giving her the support she needed. Logically, Louise had to admit that she was biased as far as Doritha was concerned, and she might be judging her too harshly. Maybe it was natural for her to mourn her husband and miss him even though she had not said one kind word about him before.

On the day of the funeral, despite her own real desires, Lou forced herself to attend the ceremony. There was a whole host of reasons why she could have stayed put. The man that was to be buried in consecrated ground had terrorized, threatened and almost killed her. Apart from that frightening moment, Lou had never seen him, and she did not have a much deeper relationship with his wife although she was a constant presence in Lou's life as of lately. Actually, Lou did not have friendly feelings for Doritha because she was clearly trying to steal her husband. In spite of all these reasons, Lou had finally decided to go to the funeral. No one knew Garth in Rock Creek, so apart from Doritha, only Kid would be there to bid Garth a last goodbye. So Louise felt a moral obligation to pay her respects to her forced guest. Besides, the notion of Kid and Doritha sharing that moment alone troubled Lou more than she was ready to admit, which was the ultimate reason why she finally decided to attend the funeral.

As Lou stood in the cemetery, she regretted her final decision, and wondered what on earth she was doing in the place. Unlike the previous days, Doritha was acting much calmer, and as the minister intoned his prayer in front of the casket, she just kept sniffing softly but her eyes were dry and clear. What bothered Lou was that during the entire funeral Doritha's gloved hand held onto Kid's arm as if he belonged to her. Standing next to them, Louise felt like an outsider, like a shadow that could well disappear. This was probably a very true graphic image of what her landscape looked like. Kid and Doritha had always belonged together, and she was nobody. Hard as it was, she had to accept that reality, and even though she had been aware of it all along, in that moment she felt struck by a wounding revelation. It was time she stopped fantasizing, buried her feelings, and sent them to hell because she could not live on like this. She was inflicting untold harm to her soul, and she would be much better off if she killed those darn feelings off for good.

At the same time these thoughts tormented Louise, Kid silently turned to her and gazed straight into her eyes. Lou stared back, and was surprised by the strange light emanating from his blue orbs. Actually, what took her by surprise was their intensity and the lack of life at the same time. Strangely, she realized she could tell what he was silently expressing with just one look. Lou felt the urge to reach for him. Yet, she remained impassive. That was not her place anymore… actually, it had never been hers even though at some point she had believed the game they had been playing was real. Lou kept looking at her husband even after he had shifted his eyes and turned his attention back to the minister.

When the funeral was over, Lou headed for her home by herself. Doritha had decided to move back to the hotel, and had asked Kid to give her a hand sorting out her late husband's belongings. Garth had apparently taken rooms at Mrs. Chandler's guesthouse, and the lady had brought Teaspoon the single bag that the man had left in the room. Doritha had not had the nerve yet to discover its contents, and had asked Kid to keep her company when she opened the bag.

Lou waited for Kid all day long, but he did not show up. When she was washing her plate after having dinner with just leftovers from lunch, she heard the sound of hooves and neighing. From the kitchen window she saw Kid's outline against the darkened night as he rode into the property. After easing from the horse, Kid disappeared into the stables, pulling Katy along. Louise remained in front of the window, waiting for him to reappear. Yet, when he did not come out after fifteen minutes, she decided to go and find him.

As Louise timidly made her way into the stables, she found her husband sitting on the fresh hay in an empty stall, his legs flexed against his chest, and his eyes downcast. "Kid?" she called softly, pushing herself up on her tiptoes and resting her arms on the stall door.

"Hey!" he greeted her with a smile that did not reach his eyes, which looked as grim as at the funeral.

"Is… is everything all right?" she dared to get straight to the point.

"Yes… uh yeah."

"Is Doritha fine?"

"Doritha? Uh… I imagine so… I left her at the hotel shortly after you drove home. She was very tired, and didn't feel like going through Garth's things."

His words made her frown. "And where have you been all this time?"

"Just riding around," Kid replied. "I needed to think."

"Think about what?" she asked, clearly relieved to know that her husband and Doritha had not spent all this time together as she had thought. When Kid remained silent, she opened the stall door, and walked inside. "May I…?" she asked, pointing at the empty place next to him.

"Please," she added, scooting over.

Lou sank down on the hay by his side, and shared an awkward smile with him. For a few seconds they kept in silence until Lou asked, "Kid, what is it? I know something's troubling you. Is… is it about Garth?"

Kid stared at her in bewilderment, surprised by her obvious insight. No one had asked him how he was feeling after everything that had happened, and once again Lou amazed him, proving that she seemed to know him better than anybody.

"Please talk to me. You know you can say anything to me, and it ain't healthy to keep all those emotions bottled inside you."

Kid sighed audibly, and started to toy with a leaf of hay. "I… I feel so bad since it happened, Lou. I killed a man… and not just any man, but somebody I considered a friend, somebody I've known all my life, somebody I grew up with, played as a child with, and shared happy and sad moments with."

"You didn't kill him. The gun went off accidentally. You could've died instead."

"When I saw him shoot you, I panicked… I… I was so blind with rage that I was hardly aware of what I was doing!" Kid exclaimed passionately. "I just knew I had to stop him and make him pay for what he had done to you."

At the reference Lou rubbed her still sore arm, and whispered, "I was scared too when the gun went off. I was trembling in those few terrible seconds, and when you rose from the floor safe and sound, I… I felt like crying."

Silence fell once again, and their eyes met after their sincere revelations. They stared at each other, falling into the easy comfort of their company. Kid instantly felt an intense longing, and all he could think of was that he wanted to reach for her, and kiss her sweet lips. She was so close, so dangerously close and this was the first time in weeks that they were talking and alone. Couldn't he try his luck and explore what had started at the social? She had clearly disregarded their brief kiss, and had told Doritha she didn't love him. Those were enough reasons to keep away from her, which was what he had been doing all this time. Actually, right now a little voice in his head was shouting at him to run away. However, his own feelings and will were even stronger, and unconsciously his head started lowering towards her and his heart started thumping in anticipation.

His closeness and the intensity in his eyes unsettled Lou, especially when she noticed him moving even closer. Eager to escape the growing awkwardness she was starting to feel, Louise averted her eyes from his to her lap, and spoke, "Uh Kid… I…. I hope you don't keep beating yourself up for that. I… I… I understand it must be hard, but nobody could have done anything else."

Her voice stopped him, and with bitter disappointment he realized the moment was gone. Lou was clearly giving him the answer he did not want to accept. "Thanks," he whispered.

Lou glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, and bit her lower lip. He looked even more handsome when he was this sad. Keeping the distance from him was too hard a deed for her because all her self pushed her to him. If she did not keep herself in line, she would make a fool of herself once again. Right now what she wanted most was to throw her arms around him and hug him, but that was a mistake she would not repeat. Her position in his life was too clear, and she needed to stick to it; she owed him the same respect that he constantly showed her. "I just want your happiness and the best for you… honestly" she continued, trying to smile, "But that long face makes me think I haven't managed too much with this talk."

Kid plastered a fake smile on his face. "I'll be fine. It'll take me a while, but I'll get there eventually."

"I'm glad," she replied, daring to pat him on the shoulder. "So what if in the meantime I rustle up something for you to eat?"

"That'd be nice."

Louise rose, shaking her skirt from the dust and hay it had picked up, and stretched her arm to him, a silent offer to help him back to his feet. "Come on, slow bones!" she exclaimed, trying to sound cheerful and bury the bitter feelings that kept struggling to make their way into her soul.

Kid still didn't move. "Get going. I'll follow you in a few minutes."

Louise raised an eyebrow in concern. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine…honestly," Kid reassured her, nodding at the same time. "I just need a couple of minutes on my own."

"All right," Louise agreed, her voice tinged with sadness and melancholy. Once again she felt like an unwanted visitor in the same way she had felt at the funeral. Even when Doritha was not around, her presence was palpable in the air. Kid surely missed her tonight after being used to her constant company at the ranch. Now more than ever Louise wished she could be her or just the woman that filled her husband's every thought and desire. Why couldn't she be and have what Kid needed? Why couldn't she be like Doritha? Why?

Louise turned around, and her countenance fell as soon as he couldn't see her. Yet, she stopped when Kid called her, and she sent him a questioning look. "Thank you for hearing me out tonight," he said. "I guess I needed to let all this out in the open."

"I didn't do anything. I know you'd have done the same for me in my place." They locked eyes once again in the short distance. Louise smiled, and forced herself to shift her gaze once again. "I'll go now. Please don't stay here too long."

Kid simply nodded, and as he finally heard the stables door shut close behind Louise, he hung his head defeated. His entire self called to him to go after her, and do what he had no courage to do so far. Yet, he remained on the same spot, unmoving. What he most desired was to be with her, but when she was close, the idea that she was as unattainable as the moon to mortals hurt him too much. His existence lately had become a torture, and he felt trapped between two women: keeping away from the one he adored to save himself from the pain of knowing she did not want him, and avoiding the other to delay the moment of truth which would cause her further pain. Kid did not know where all this would lead him to, but he would probably end up alone and with the deep pain of losing the only thing that mattered to him: his wife.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 48**

"Lou?" Kid called as he stepped into his house. The door closed with a slam behind him as the strong wind blowing outside banged it against the frame raucously. Kid secured the latch to avoid any further knocks, and once in the living room, he left his hat and saddle bags on a table. He had just returned from a three-day ride, and was looking forward to some peace and quiet at home. Riding against the wind was like fighting against an invisible enemy that hit you from all angles without any possible defense. Thankfully, it was a warm wind, but anyway Kid had finished the ride totally exhausted and sore. Now all he wanted was to have a quick lunch and enjoy a long nap afterwards in his soft bed.

"Lou?" he called again as he crossed the length of the living room towards the kitchen. A pot was simmering on the stove, its aroma making Kid's stomach lurch, but there was no trace of Louise anywhere. From a jar he took out a cookie, and as he munched on it contentedly, he threw a casual look through the window. A spontaneous smile lit his face when she spotted his wife in the yard. She was trying to pick up the dry laundry from the lines, but the wind was not helping her, and she kept struggling against it. Her billowed skirt rode up her legs, showing her stocking-covered calves, and her shoulder-length tousled hair flowed in all directions. Kid chuckled amused as he noticed the livid expression on her face and the way she gesticulated furiously as if giving the untamed forces of nature a tremendous lecture.

Kid moved from the window, intending to run to his wife and help her, but he stopped short when he found Doritha at the threshold of the door, staring at him with a serious expression. "Uh… hi, Doritha. I didn't know you were here."

The woman took a few steps closer into the kitchen, and stopped before the table that physically separated her from Kid. "You're back," she simply said. Kid nodded to her obvious comment, and Doritha added, "I expect we can talk now."

The way she uttered every word and looked his way told Kid this was the conversation he was dreading. Just with her presence, Doritha was a constant evidence of her expectations and desires. The old dream they had both shared not so long ago had withered and died on Kid. Things were too different now. He had gone through a lot in just a few months, and what he had once believed so blindly in had been replaced by new ideals and dreams. That was probably part of the natural process of getting older, Kid mused. Children's habits and even priorities were replaced by those that adulthood offered. That was what his mother had tried to explain to him so many times, and just now he understood what she meant. "Doritha, this ain't a good time. I know we have to talk, and there are a lot of things I need to tell you, but I'm too tired."

Doritha ignored his words. She was not a very patient woman, and the limits of her meager patience had stretched more than she thought she could. So today whether he wanted to or not, they would have their outstanding conversation. "It's been ten days since Garth died. Ten days, Kid. I'm a free woman now and… well, wasn't this what we've always wanted?"

"I… I know, but…"

"When are you going to get rid of Louise? She's now the only obstacle in our way to happiness. This is our chance, and I don't want to wait any longer."

"Things ain't that simple."

"Yes, they are! I know you're a compassionate man, and it's natural you pity Louise. I also think she's a nice girl, and I don't feel too good myself either, but putting off the moment won't make things less difficult. She already knows our situation, doesn't she?"

"Yes, but…"

"Kid, don't make it more complicated than it actually is. I love you, you love me, and we want to be together. I don't even plan to respect the proper mourning period because Garth doesn't deserve it. I just want to be with you, Kid! Louise will surely understand this."

Kid opened his mouth to protest and set matters straight, but instead of his voice, a feminine one resounded in the kitchen. "She's right and you know it." Louise walked in with a solemn air, and as she put down the laundry basket on the table, her eyes lifted to meet Kids. "What Doritha says is true. It's time we did something about our situation. Your… your… Well, let's not pussyfoot about this. Doritha, the woman you've always loved, is here, and I can't ignore what I can so clearly see."

Doritha gave her a smug, proud smile, but Kid looked anything but happy. "Lou, you're wrong! There's nothing going on between me and Doritha! I swear I've never disrespected you in any way!"

"Kid, I know that," Lou replied. "I'm just saying that we can finally go along with your… with our initial plans and get a divorce."

"You see? We women agree on what we have to do… the only logical thing to do. Why should we wait?" Doritha exclaimed smiling from ear to ear. Lou kept a serious face, breathing in to keep her nerves in check. "This is our liberation… for the three of us. Our chains will finally be broken."

"Doritha, please…"

"Kid, why can't we be sincere and lift our masks? My marriage was nothing but a façade, and I know yours was a torture… a total agony, and you've been completely miserable. That's what you wrote to me, and I imagine it was the same for Louise."

Kid was starting to feel irritated. Doritha was taking too many things for granted… things that were untrue. Yes, he had written to her, and had roughly expressed what Doritha was saying. It had been just one letter. Only one letter and it was at a time in which he had really felt sad and unhappy. That had happened too long ago, and things had changed too much since then. He was not the same man, and thinking about himself back then, he felt the poor boy that had left Virginia and come to the west was a total stranger. "But… but… but…" Kid stammered, unable to utter a single coherent thought. He couldn't deny Doritha's words because they were true, but he couldn't accept them either. And seeing Lou's pale face and pursed lips told him that she wasn't happy about what she was learning tonight. Logical, because in her place he wouldn't like hearing that she thought their marriage was a torture. They had shared a lot, and even though she did not love him, there had been many good times and memories in their arranged union.

Lou cleared her throat uncomfortably, and made an almost supernatural effort to plaster a fake smile on her lips. "Yes, I do know how things were for you."

Kid sighed. This was too much, and he felt unable to cope with the two women at the same time. Doritha would not let him get a word in sideways, and Louise had clammed up, and barely said a few words. "Doritha, could you leave us alone? My wife and I need to talk."

"Sure. No problem."

As Doritha walked out, Lou sat down at the table and fixed her eyes on the pattern of the cloth covering it. "I guess that lawyer in town, you know, Hutchinson, could help us sort out the matter. We could go see him."

"Lou… this… this is so sudden, and we haven't even discussed it," Kid replied, taking the seat across from her.

Louise lifted her serious eyes to him, and said, "We're discussing it now."

"But these things need time… we have to balance all the points, and measure everything."

"Kid, we've had ten months to think about it. Things are straight. You'll get your freedom, and I mine."

"But… but… but…"

"And if you're worried about the house, the ranch, and all the work you've done here," Lou continued, "don't. This place rightly belongs to you, and I have no intentions to stay here."

"I'm not worried about the house! I'm worried about you," he said, stretching his hand over the length of the table, and taking hers.

"You don't have to worry either," she contradicted him, awkwardly removing her hand from his grasp, and rising to her feet. "I'll be fine. I can take care of myself, and I have some money." Kid gave her a confused look, and Lou carried on. "It was my mother's inheritance. Of course, it won't last forever because it ain't a fortune, but I can find a job eventually." Kid stared at her with a sullen expression, in silence, and with apparently no intention to speak up. "Please, cheer up. The moment you longed for is finally here," Lou exclaimed. Her voice sounded strange, fake, and too distant, and her head was hurting from the effort of keeping a straight face because she was very close to breaking down and crying. That wouldn't happen, because she didn't want to give Kid another reason to pity her. She had to appear strong and indifferent even though she was torn inside.

At her words Kid shook his head morosely. "You're wrong. This is the last thing I'd want to do. I thought you knew me better than this."

Turning on his heel, Kid left the kitchen, eager to stop this conversation that hurt him too much. His appetite was gone, and all he wanted was to sleep for the rest of the day, and hopefully for the rest of his life. Right now he did not have any desire for anything else. The woman he adored was about to walk away and there was nothing he could do to avoid it. If she didn't love him, that was the logical thing to do. She would soon make her escape, exactly what he had wanted to do all those months ago. Ironically, he was now suffering the pain and agony of losing her. Was this some kind of divine punishment? It was true he had been beyond mean to Lou in the beginning, but then things had changed. They had become friends, and he had fallen for her. Why couldn't the same happen to her? Why couldn't she love him? That was all she wanted… nothing else. Yet, destiny was giving him exactly what he had previously wished with all his heart. He shouldn't complain.

Kid crossed his bedroom door, and shook his head reproachfully as he analyzed his thoughts. What a fool! He was behaving like a spoiled brat, and should be ashamed of himself. He should, but actually he didn't. The feelings in his heart were too strong, and the idea of losing Lou forever was too frightening. In fact, that was not true. He couldn't lose her because Lou had never been his in the first place. He had never had a chance, and when she wasn't around anymore, life would go on, and his would never be the same again.


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 49**

After about ten minutes' wait, Margaret showed the pair in Mr. Hutchinson's office. The lawyer was a middle-aged man, with receding grey hair, and a bushy moustache that gave him a very solemn air. He was sitting at a carved mahogany desk, covered in tidily-arranged documents and folders. When Kid and Lou stepped in, the man shook hands with the couple and invited them to sit on the beautiful chairs in front of the table.

The pair sat down and shared an awkward look before Mr. Hutchinson started a long speech about the ins and outs of the termination of their marriage, occasionally throwing in some legal lingo that neither Kid nor Lou knew what it meant. The couple just kept nodding in unison like automatons. When the lawyer finished his tirade, he removed his spectacles and shifted his eyes between the man and woman sitting before him. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

The couple shared another awkward look, and Louise spoke up, "Yes, we're sure… absolutely sure."

"You know, it's a huge, serious step… something that needs to be thought through. You realize that divorce is not greatly accepted by our society? It can be an undeletable mark that might accompany you for the rest of your lives, especially for women. Are you sure your differences are so insuperable that you have to resort to this final measure?" the lawyer insisted.

"We've thought everything over," Lou said again. "There's nothing else to consider."

Kid looked at his wife with a sullen expression, and as the lawyer noticed his grimness, he addressed the young man. "What about you, sir? Anything you want to say? This is a matter that concerns the two of you."

Kid did not reply straightaway, and glanced at Lou once again. This entire business was proving to be harder than he had thought, and Lou was acting too strange. Her voice sounded harsher and louder, and her attitude was lately too arrogant for his taste. It was as if she was enjoying this entire situation and couldn't wait to get done with their marriage, which naturally filled Kid with a terrible bitterness.

Kid turned his eyes back to Mr. Hutchinson, and said, "I guess I am… Yes, I am sure… like my wife," he rectified even though his words were a blatant, absolute lie.

"Very well then," the lawyer said, joining his hands together and resting them on the table. "Let's go step by step. First, we'll start with the economic conditions. Even though you have no children, the law determines a husband is required to pay spousal support to his former wife according to how much…"

"Excuse me, sir," Lou cut Mr. Hutchinson off in mid-sentence, and as the man turned his eyes to her with unconcealed irritation, she carried on, "My husband and I joined in marriage just because our fathers arranged it. We had no voice or opinion in this. We were like puppets under somebody else's control. So as you can imagine, it's not fair my husband gets punished when others are to blame."

"It's not a punishment, Ma'am. It's the law, and it's just fair," the attorney replied.

"Maybe in other cases, but our situation ain't ordinary," Lou insisted.

"Lou, I agree with Mr. Hutchinson," Kid added. "What's fair is fair, and for a lone woman money can be…"

"I told you! I have money!" Louise exclaimed loudly before he could finish his sentence. Realizing she had sounded too harsh, she stopped, took a breath, and tried to regain her composure. "It's very nice of you, Kid, but I'll be fine… you need to trust me."

"I do trust you," Kid replied in a soft voice, squeezing her hand which she had rested on his. "I can't help but worry about you."

Louise smiled sadly, holding onto his warm hand. Kid was very sweet, treating her like a younger sister he had to look after. Lou thought that if she didn't have all these bothersome feelings for him, she would also think of him as a brother, and this divorce wouldn't be so dramatic. In that case, she could remain in Rock Creek, and they could continue the beautiful friendship they had built up all these months. Yet, she had to flee and leave everything behind because she would be unable to see Kid and Doritha as a couple. "You're so sweet, but you don't need to worry. Honestly."

Mr. Hutchinson watched the couple in confusion. This was not the kind of scene he was used to witnessing in separation cases. Divorce was not too common, but when it happened, the usual scenario was an exchange of bitter recriminations, tears, and fighting, but this couple seemed to be courting in his office rather than splitting up.

The lawyer cleared his throat to get his clients' attention, and said, "Are you really, really sure you still want to go through with this?"

"Yes, we are," Lou stated, breaking eye contact with her husband and letting go of his hand.

"All right then," Mr. Hutchinson continued. "Any properties in common?"

"We own a house," Kid replied before Louise piped up.

"You know, any properties acquired during the marriage should be divided for both parties."

"I'm leaving Rock Creek, so my husband can keep the house."

"We can sell it, Lou, and you'll get what rightly belongs to you. After all, it was your father's present."

"Kid, no! We can't sell the house. We like it, and your business is here, and let me say this again. I don't need the money."

"If you don't want to sell the house, we won't, but that house belongs to you more than me. If I stay, it's just right I pay you some rent," Kid said, hating to think that soon she wouldn't be there, her laughter and voice wouldn't sound, and her beautiful face wouldn't light the place like she usually did. Louise was about to protest, but he lifted his hand to stop her flow of words and added, "I'm putting my foot down on this. I won't take no for an answer."

Louise pulled an unhappy face, but made no attempt to open her mouth, which Kid took for a yes. Mr. Hutchinson continued going through all the points to consider in the divorce, and the pair just agreed to everything else he mentioned. The lawyer had the hunch that, despite what they had said, the young couple was stepping into a territory that was alien to them. With all certainty they would need more time to think, and Mr. Hutchinson had the inkling they might discard the idea of the divorce in the end. It was true what his wife said. He was a romantic, and in truth he would not mind losing his fees if that meant a couple could sort out their problems without going their separate ways. Naturally, that was not his business and had no say in what people decided.

"So that's it," the lawyer announced. "Margaret, my secretary, will draw up the final document for you to sign. You can pick it up this afternoon and read it carefully at home, and…" The lawyer stopped to look at the couple over his spectacles meaningfully as he continued, "And if you're still sure, just sign your consent. Then bring it back to me."

The couple nodded in agreement, and after politely thanking and shaking hands with Mr. Hutchinson, they left the office. Once outside they walked side by side in silence. Louise threw a glimpse at Kid, and the bitter expression of his face sparked her curiosity. "Is everything all right?" she asked.

"Yeah… everything's perfect. Things couldn't be better," he replied with obvious sarcasm.

"What's the matter with you?" Lou exclaimed, stopping and making him halt by placing a hand in his arm. She couldn't understand what was wrong with him. This was what he had always wanted, and he should be happy because he would finally get the freedom he had always yearned.

Kid turned his eyes to her, sighed, and admitting that he had no right to act this mean, he said, "Nothing… forgive me. I'm just having a bad day, that's all."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Kid shook his head. "It's nothing," he lied. What he actually most wanted to tell her was that they shouldn't get a divorce because it was totally wrong. He loved her more than anything, and with time she might feel something for him too. Yet, Kid kept quiet, and choked back the words he longed to let free. His dreams did not match hers, and he loved her too much to say anything that made her feel obliged to him. Lou needed to be happy, and despite all his good intentions, he clearly could not do the job. He had to let her free so that she could find her own destiny. "I… I'm fine. Don't worry."

Lou gazed into his eyes, trying to discern what he was surely hiding. In some ways she knew him too well, and now she was sure he was lying, and there was more to his odd temper than what he claimed. A sudden thought hit her, and she suspected she had found the reason for his moodiness. "Doritha hasn't dropped by the farm for a while. Is she fine?"

"I guess… I haven't seen her at all, but when she was last at home, she said something about keeping away while we sort out … all this."

"I see." Louise nodded sadly, thinking that if that darn woman had kept away altogether, they would probably not be in the middle of divorce proceedings. They had been quite happy until Doritha had shown up. At least, that was the way Louise felt. These had been the best months in a very long time, and when her friendly feelings had turned into something much deeper, she had lived with the hope that her husband would return her love one day. That dream had broken, and now she was just collecting the torn pieces of her wounded soul.

"Are you going back to the station now?" she asked in an attempt to shush away the negative voices screaming in her head. There was nothing else to think about. What was done was done. This was her life, and she had better start to come to terms with it.

"I'll walk you to the wagon first."

"You don't have to. I'm not gonna get lost," Lou replied dryly, trying to get rid of him because she couldn't wait to be alone, and finally release the frustration, anger, and sadness she was feeling.

"But I want to."

Lou did not say another word. Kid was too stubborn, and they could keep going on about the same all day if she protested again. They continued walking in silence, both looking sullen and low. As they went past the marshal's office, Lou's curiosity sparked as she saw Teaspoon at the door with an army officer and a couple of privates. Kid followed the direction of her gaze, and said, "Colonel Adams is still adamant to hunt down the gunrunner… you know, Mr. X."

Louise turned her eyes back to her husband, and trying to sound as unattached and indifferent as possible, she asked, "And has he found out anything new?"

Kid shook his head. "Apparently not. Things are quite dark. He tried everything to find Mrs. McCloud, you know, the person who sent Teaspoon those letters, but his investigation led him nowhere. In the meantime, Mr. X's identity is still a mystery."

"I… I thought he was trying to locate the gunrunner's family," Louise ventured to ask.

"Yeah, that was his plan. He's resorted to everything, but every string he has pulled had proved barren, at least, as far as I know."

"He won't find him," Lou stated, unable to stop herself from claiming what she knew.

Kid sent her a confused glance. "You sound too sure. Why do you say that, Lou?"

His words made her realize she had overstepped the limits of her discretion. She shrugged her shoulders in indifference while saying, "If nobody has ever found out anything about this man, it's logical to think Colonel Adams won't change things now." Kid kept staring at her, an intense look Lou was not sure what concealed. Thankfully, they had reached the wagon, which saved her from further questions. "Well, I'm going now. See you later," she said, climbing onto the carriage and reaching out for the reins. With a gentle snap, she set the horse into motion, but Kid stopped it by grabbing the leather straps. Louise turned her eyes to him, confused, silently voicing a question with her frowning expression.

"Lou, I don't really like what's going on between us. You know, the divorce."

Louise smiled sadly. "I know, but there's nothing else we could have done. This is the right thing to do."

"You think?"

Lou nodded. "The important thing is we've always respected each other. There were never bad feelings between us. You've never hurt me, and I don't think I have either. Reaching the end of something is always sad, but we have to think about the future and what lies before us."

Kid could simply nod, because that was the only movement his shaken body could make. The future looked to bleak for him. What he had once called his freedom felt like a sentence of loneliness for the rest of his life. Without Lou, nothing made much sense. He wanted her by his side, even in the strange living arrangements they had had till now. He needed to see her every day, hear her voice, look at her beautiful eyes… and he would settle for anything provided that she was around. The idea that she would go soon filled him with so much fear that he wanted to fall on his knees and beg her not to leave him. Yet, he did not move, and remained on the spot unmoving. His hand let go of the horse straps, and Louise finally drove away. His eyes kept watching her figure in the distance until it disappeared from his sight. One day soon this was the image that would end their story… her riding away from him… and that day life would also end for him, because living would mean nothing… nothing at all.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 50**

Kid took the nib, dipped it into the inkwell, but, as his hand approached the written document, he hesitated. Three days had gone by since the visit to the lawyer. During that time he had been away on a ride that had taken longer than usual, because of some problems at the Blue Creek station, which had prevented Kid from returning home in his due time. The divorce papers had sat on the desk in their studio all that time, and Lou and he had not been able to read the document till now.

Kid kept staring adown at the paper, but made no intention to bring the nib closer. As soon as he stamped his signature, everything would be over for him and Lou. How could he give his consent to this? How could he agree to forget about the person that meant most in his life? Why was he continuously losing the people he cared for? First, it had been Jed, who had left him too lonely within his own family. Then his youth dreams and plans had been shattered when he had been forced to say goodbye to his homeland and his first love. Losing his parents had been one of the most dramatic and devastating points in his life, making him experience the bitter taste of loneliness. And now that he was sure he had found his true love, the second half of his soul, he had to let her walk away. Now he would have to go back to his loneliness once again. That was the landscape that expected him. Doritha was not part of his picture. He was not considering what she so clearly intended. There was a time she had meant the world to him, but now things had changed. He could not settle for an imitation of what he felt for Louise. It would not be fair for him or Doritha, and as soon as he could, he would clear things up with her.

"Kid!" Lou exclaimed loudly, startling the rider. "The ink! Watch out!"

The Southerner realized that the ink was dripping from his nib, covering the bottom of the paper with black splotches. Putting the pen back in the ink well, Kid muttered an apology and tried to clean the stains with some blotting paper.

"What on earth are you thinking about?" Lou asked in a slightly reproachful tone.

Kid turned his eyes to her, and thought this was his last chance to set things right. "Lou, are you sure we're doing the right thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"All this… I… I ain't so sure myself," Kid said.

Lou sent him a blank look. "What point don't you agree on? I thought you were fine with everything. You never said a word at the lawyer's."

"I know, but…"

"If you're having second thoughts about paying rent for living in this house, it's fine by me. You know I never agreed with it to begin with."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it, Kid?" Lou asked in an irritated loud tone. "I'm sick and tired of this matter, and want to be done with it once and for all. We already agreed on all the conditions, and I don't understand what your problem is!"

"I don't have a problem," Kid replied, matching her tone because he was getting annoyed by her attitude.

"Then what the hell do you want?" Lou snapped. This whole matter made her too sensitive, and it was no wonder she exploded at the smallest provocation. Naturally, Kid did not deserve her poor attitude, but she could not help herself.

"Nothing. I don't want anything. Forget about it!"

"Then sign the damn papers!"

"Fine! I will!" Kid exclaimed annoyed, and this time he grabbed the nib and signed his signature without hesitation. Next, Lou took the pen from him, and wrote her name on the space beside his. Kid watched her attentively, and his heart hurt as if it was actually breaking into a million pieces. She looked so resolute and self-assured. The notion that she had no doubts whatsoever felt like a punch in his stomach, and it hurt too much.

"Well, this is it," Louise announced in a sad voice. "Please forgive me for my outburst before. I guess I'm a bit nervous," she admitted with apologetic eyes.

"We both are," Kid muttered in a low voice, intently gazing at the document on with their two signatures stood up. What he wanted was to burn the paper to a cinder, and send the ashes to hell. Yet, he remained impassive, feeling a terrible urge to cry like a small child.

Silence fell between the couple, both lost in their own thoughts and miseries. It was Lou, who a few minutes later spoke up. "I guess I should start packing," she said in a low voice, getting up from her chair and ready to leave the room.

Her words alarmed Kid at once, and he jumped to his feet with such force that he tipped over the chair. "Packing? What do you mean, Lou?" he asked, his eyes shining with obvious dread.

Louise directed her gaze to the toes of her shoes as she said, "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow?" he repeated in a shrill voice. "Tomorrow? But… wh… why? Why so soon?"

"I have no business here anymore, and the stage is leaving tomorrow morning. Otherwise, I'd have to wait another week."

"But… but we still need to go to the lawyer," Kid added, resorting to anything to stop her intentions.

Louise lifted her eyes back to him, and smiled. "Everything that had to be done is done. You don't need me to hand the papers over."

"What if there are some last-minute complications?" the rider insisted.

"Kid, we just had to sign this. That's all. There won't be complications," Lou reminded him.

The Southerner nodded ruefully, admitting that she had defeated him with her sound arguments. Yet, he would not give in. This was not right, and he was ready to put up a fight because he could not let her walk away like this. "Lou, I don't see why you have to leave tomorrow. Let me talk to Teaspoon and ask for a few days off. I don't agree with your decision of leaving Rock Creek, but if you think it's the best for you, it's fine. But please, let me accompany you to wherever you want to go. I'll help you get settled and…"

"Kid, that's not necessary," Louise contradicted him.

"It's more than necessary. What kind of person do you take me for? How can I turn my back to you? You're still my wife and my responsibility. And even if you weren't, you always claim I'm your good friend. What kind of person would let their friends down? Not me."

"Kid, please, let's not argue. I don't want to end things like this," Louise replied, her eyes begging him to let the matter drop. "Humor me in this, please. I really, really need to feel I'm on my own starting right now. And I already told you. I can take care of myself."

"So you're taking the stagecoach tomorrow morning."

"That's right."

"And what about Lightning?"

"What about her?" Lou asked, frowning at his strange question.

"She belongs to you, and she's used to you riding her every day. How do you plan to take her with you?"

"She's staying here. This is her home," Lou replied sadly.

"This is your home too, but you're leaving," Kid added bitterly.

"Don't you think this is hard for me? It's killing me, but I have to do it! Please don't make it harder than it is."

"I'm sorry, and you're right," Kid apologized sincerely. "I'm just worried about you."

Louise sighed tiredly. "Yes, I know."

Kid gave her a sad look as he was coming to realize that this was the end. "And may I know where you're heading tomorrow?"

"St. Joseph. It's there where I have to sort out my mother's inheritance. After everything's settled, I might go somewhere else."

Kid nodded in understanding. "Are you really sure you don't want my help?"

"Absolutely sure," Lou replied stubbornly. "And well, Kid, if you have nothing else to say, I'll go now."

Lou turned around, ready to carry out her intentions, but had to stop when Kid's voice resounded behind her. "There's something else."

Louise was running out of patience, and she turned to look at him. "What is it?" she asked in a loud tone.

"Your father."

"My… my father?" Lou replied, clearly taken back by his question. "What about him?"

"Are you gonna tell him about us breaking up?"

"I told you once, Kid. What happens between you and me is just our business."

"Yes, but you ain't answering my question," Kid insisted. "Are you gonna tell him?"

Louise looked away, and directed her attention to her right foot, which she kept tapping nervously. "I haven't really given him much of a thought lately," she lied. "You know, a lot has been going on."

"He lives in St. Joseph, doesn't he?"

"Yeah… not all the time though," Lou replied vaguely. "His business keeps him away from town a lot."

"But what if you bump into him? I hate to think he might hurt you again."

"Kid, stop it! Stop worrying about me!" Lou barked loudly. "I'm fine, and I'll be fine! How many times do I need to repeat the same so that you can get it into your hard head? I'm sick and tired of the same conversation."

By now Lou was fuming. It was true. She was tired of so many questions, especially since to her chagrin Kid had touched a very sore point like her father. This was the last straw, and she had logically exploded. After her last words, Louise swirled around angrily and bolted towards the staircase. This was becoming an agony, and she felt as if she were drowning. How could she stay in this house one more day when she felt like dying every time she saw him? Saying goodbye to him would be the hardest thing she had to do, but it would also release her soul of the choking pressure she was constantly feeling. She needed to go… she couldn't stand this any longer, and when tomorrow came, and she would see him for the last time, a big part of her soul would die, but hopefully that would be her liberation because in truth she couldn't take any more.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 51**

The ride to town seemed too short that morning to Kid's taste. What he wanted was to stretch the moment for as long as possible, but unfortunately, Rock Creek's buildings appeared in sight too soon. As he drove the wagon with Lou sitting by his side, he felt like a condemned man going to the gallows, a destiny he could not avoid however much he wished it. Curiously, this was not the first time he had experienced the same. Actually, he had felt similar sensations when he had walked down the church aisle to marry Lou. Life was playing a cruel joke on him, and he would now give anything to go back to that time and start things all over again. There was so much he would do differently, but his regrets would lead him nowhere now. It was too late to cry over spilled milk. Things were just what they were. Lou was walking out on him today, and he would be left alone and heartbroken.

As silent as during the ride to town, Kid and Lou walked to the spot where the stagecoach waited. The driver offered the Southerner to take the luggage, and when Kid nodded reluctantly and was freed from Lou's only carpet bag, he turned to her. "Well…" Louise started, but her voice faltered. This was their very last time together, and she had no idea what she could say. A breezy 'so long' or 'it's been a pleasure meeting you' would not do. With all probability they would not set eyes on each other again, and summarizing what their marriage had meant to her with just a polite formula did not feel right. Louise actually wanted to tell him so many things but she did not know where to begin. He was the first man she had not been afraid of, the only man who had made her feel special and appreciated, and the person who had helped her shed her fears and apprehension. Louise did not have enough words to express her gratefulness, and she knew that if she started, she would surely cry.

Lou was saved from her dilemma as Kid surprised her by throwing his arms around her frame, hugging her tightly against his body. Lou also wrapped her arms around his torso, relishing the feelings his touch and warmth aroused in her, which she knew she would never feel ever again.

Knowing this was the end, Kid held onto her as if for dear life, and wished this moment would last forever. His eyes were starting to moist, but he stubbornly fought the urge to succumb and cry. To his dread and chagrin, he heard the driver's voice announce that the passengers had to board. Reluctantly, Kid pulled away, but his hands travelled from her back to cup her face. God, she was so beautiful, he thought as his eyes locked into hers. He loved her so much. It was now he realized how much, and she didn't even know. Why hadn't he told her? Everybody deserved to know they were loved, and right now he felt he couldn't let her go without her hearing him say it. There was no harm in it. So Kid breathed in deeply, and without shifting his eyes from hers, he whispered, "I love you, Lou."

At his words Louise smiled sweetly, and said, "I love you too. You've been an incredible friend to me, and I'm gonna miss you terribly." Her voice squeaked, and she feared she might start sobbing pathetically at any moment. She had yearned to hear those words for so long, and even though this was not the way she wished Kid felt, his honest declaration of friendly love warmed her.

Kid realized that she had misunderstood the intention of his words, but he would not linger on his hurt feelings. There was something else on his mind right now, so he blurted out, "Please Lou, don't go."

"What?"

"Stay here in Rock Creek," Kid elaborated. Even though he knew he was late, he had realized he should have talked to her about his feelings long ago. Maybe there was something he could do. It was clear that their divorce was definite, and as soon as he handed in the papers, there was no way back. Yet, if she stayed and he let some time pass, he could approach her from another angle, and one day he could even ask her for permission to court her properly. Maybe he could make her see him in another light, and she might even learn to love him.

Hearing his totally unexpected request, Lou disengaged herself from his hold. "Please don't ask me that."

"Why not? Things are simple. We can still be friends, and you'll be much better here. A lot of people who care for you are here…. the boys, Teaspoon, Rachel… and me. Why do you need to flee where you might be all alone?"

"I can't stay here," Lou replied stubbornly.

"But why not?" Kid insisted. "Please do it for me."

"Don't do this, Kid. Please respect my wishes… I… I just need to go."

Kid noticed the tears drowning her eyes, and he did not have the heart to upset her anymore. She was right. He needed to accept her decision, and let her go. "All right. I'm sorry."

Louise nodded sorrowfully and walked to the stagecoach. Kid helped her into the carriage and closed the small door. Through the window, Louise smiled sadly, and Kid approached. "At least you'll write to me, won't you?" he asked, brushing his hand over her left one, which rested on the door frame.

"What for, Kid?"

"I need to know you're okay… I need to know where you are… I just need to know about you. Please promise me you'll write."

Louise felt the urge to refuse his request, but his intense begging eyes were difficult to ignore, and she ended up agreeing. "I promise," she said, nodding her head at the same time.

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, the driver announced they were leaving. With a strong yank, Kid lost the touch of her hand, and the love of his life was snatched from him. Kid's eyes intensely kept staring at the carriage, and he could see her head craning out of the carriage and her hand stretch to bid goodbye. As he stood there, Kid hoped against hope that the stagecoach would stop, and Lou would leave the carriage, and run back to him with open arms. Then she would throw herself to him, and say he wasn't going anywhere, that this was her home, and they would spend the rest of their lives together. That did not happen, and the stagecoach sped up to become a minute dot on the horizon until it disappeared completely. Kid, though, remained on the spot, broken, disheartened, but still hoping his far-fetched dream could come true, and he would actually see her appear at any moment, like an angel who came to save his poor, wretched soul.

The door creaked open, echoing in the whole house, and even though he knew he was on his own, he whispered tentatively, "Lou?" Naturally, silence and the reverberation of his own voice answered him, and his face fell in disappointment. In his implausible fantasies, he really hoped Lou had somehow got off the stagecoach, and after reflecting about his request to stay in Rock Creek, she would have walked to the house, and would be waiting for him.

Silence was overwhelming as he roamed through the house. Suddenly, everything that was familiar to him felt too different. The house looked bigger, too cavernous and unwelcoming. If he spoke, he could hear the echo of his voice whereas just yesterday this silence had been filled by the warm quality of Lou's words and laughter. The smells that had turned this place into a real home were all gone, and this sudden disappearance made Kid more aware of what he had lost. Lou, the love of his life, the essence of his soul, the centre of his dreams, was gone, and her absence was so painful that he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.

Kid walked into the kitchen. The cups and plates they had used for breakfast remained in the sink, evidence of her presence in the house this morning. Louise had intended to wash them, but he had managed to dissuade her, arguing he would do the job himself later. Therefore, true to his word, Kid now stood before the sink, pumped some water, and started washing the plates and cups. As he did so, he brought to mind every single breakfast they had shared in the ten months they had been married. Apart from their awkward start, meals were his favorite part of the day, and he looked forward to them. It was a pleasure to share those moments with Lou, enjoying long conversations, and laughing at the silliest jokes they came up with. From today on he would have to sit at the dinner table all alone, which would make him miss her more, increasing his very severe pain. Maybe he should start having his meals at the station with the rest of the riders. That would not make him forget, but at least hurting in the company of his friends would hopefully be easier to endure.

Once he was done with the washing up, his feet led him upstairs, and he found himself in Lou's bedroom, the very bedroom they should have shared if they had been a normal married couple. The place also looked bigger and naturally emptier. On the few occasions he had been here, Kid had understood that Lou was a woman of simple tastes, and did not like to be in an environment crammed with useless knick-knacks. Most of her things were gone now, but he could still see some of them.

A crumpled nightgown lay on the bed. Lou must have forgotten to pack it up when she got up that morning, and got out of it. Kid came closer to the bed and picked up the nightgown, and put it in one of the empty drawers of the dresser. It was on top of that dresser that her flask of cologne stood. Kid could not help himself, and as he took it in his hands, he lifted its cap. The fresh smell wafted into his nostrils, and he half expected to find Lou before him. Yet, she was nowhere, only her smell. She wasn't here today, and wouldn't be tomorrow, or the next day, or the one after that. The notion struck him too hard, and he quickly put the cap back onto the flask. However, he could still smell the soft aroma, her sweet scent, but he couldn't reach out for her, now or ever.

A powerful sensation overwhelmed him, and he staggered out of the bedroom as if he was fleeing from the flames of hell. This was more than he could resist. He couldn't stay here. He had to go. So his feet sped up, almost stumbling in his eagerness to escape his own pain, and when he reached the yard, he was literally running, dashing towards the stables. He had to get rid of all these suffocating sensations, and all he could think of was to let them out in the open. There was just one thing he could do. Like Teaspoon said, when there's a problem, run like hell. That was what he would do: run like hell because he did really have a heck of a problem.


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 52**

The following morning Kid eased off his mare at the station and steered her to the stables. His fellow riders were around the property, busy in their daily chores, and Kid simply lifted his hand, greeting them from the relative short distance separating them. Right now he did not feel like talking to anybody. The night before had been horrible and too long. Kid had been unable to sleep a wink as his mind couldn't stop thinking about Lou. The idea that the following morning he would wake up to an empty, cold house terrified him, and realizing that he did not know where Lou was at that very moment, or whether she was okay scared him even more. How was he going to endure this agony every single day for the rest of his life? There was a woman out there that he adored, and he was supposed to keep living as if she did not exist. How could he ever do that?

After leaving Katy in her usual stall and supplying her with enough water and feed, Kid got down to work immediately. Even though mucking out the stables was not his favorite chore, he welcomed the job today as it meant he could stay between these four walls undisturbed. With all probability all his friends would want to ask him about Lou's departure and how he was doing. Kid knew their interest was not mere curiosity, but wholesome concern. Yet, the Southerner was not ready to answer questions, and he was in such turmoil that it was impossible to express in words how he felt. It was too painful, and this was not the worst. Later today he would have to go to the lawyer and hand in the divorce paper, which still sat in a drawer of his studio desk. In theory, he should have done it yesterday, but he had been too shaken and upset. So today the last step would be taken, and Lou and he would split up forever.

After working for almost half an hour, Kid heard the bell, announcing that breakfast was ready. Although he had not eaten anything since yesterday, he had no appetite. Therefore, he carried on with the task at hand, but this time his solitude was broken as heavy steps resounded behind him. Curiously, he cast a glimpse back, and saw Jimmy washing his hands in the basin next to the tack room. "Aren't you coming for breakfast? Rachel's made pancakes," Jimmy asked. Kid shook his head, without turning to him as he kept his attention on the broom in his hands. Jimmy sensed there was something wrong with his friend, and dared to take a few steps closer. He knew Louise had left, and it was logical Kid was upset about it. "How are you getting on, Kid?"

"Fine, thanks," the Southerner replied curtly, keeping his head low as he now collected the garbage with a shovel.

"For crying out loud, Kid!" Jimmy exclaimed. "Don't give me that! If you don't want to talk about it, fine, but at least you should look me in the eye."

Kid let go of the shovel, which fell heavily on the floor, and like Jimmy had said, this time his angry eyes fixed on the long-haired rider's brown ones while barking, "What the hell do you want me to say? My wife's gone. How do you think I'm supposed to feel? Do you want me to say I feel like crap? All right, I feel worse than crap… happy now?"

"You're right. Sorry. It was a dumb question," Jimmy admitting, patting his friend on the back. "It's just… well, you know, even though you first told us you planned to divorce Lou, I never thought you would go through with it."

"Neither did I, Jimmy," Kid whispered.

"I'm really sorry."

"Thanks. I guess I'll eventually come to terms with it, but it'll take me some time," Kid replied, smiling sadly. Both men remained in silence, and suddenly, the sound of somebody clearing their throat drew their attention. Doritha stood at the door, and on seeing her, Kid sighed. She was the last person he wanted to see right now, but knowing how persistent she was, Kid imagined he couldn't put off their conversation.

"Good morning, Mrs. Maxwell. How are you?" Jimmy greeted the lady politely.

"Very well, Jimmy. And please call me Doritha."

"Uh… Doritha, if you'll excuse me, I was on my way to the bunkhouse. It was nice to see you."

Jimmy walked out of the stables, and when Kid and Doritha were left alone, the young woman slowly approached him. "Kid, where were you yesterday? I came here, and was told Louise was leaving, but then I waited for you at your place for at least an hour."

"I went for a ride," Kid replied. "Riding relaxes me and helps me think more clearly."

"And what did you have to think about?" Doritha asked with a flirty grin. "About us?"

"Actually yes," Kid replied seriously. There was no use beating about the bush. Doritha needed to know he was not in love with her anymore, and he did not plan to marry as she had mentioned a few times before. Naturally, he would not turn his back to her and leave her in the lurch. Doritha had come seeking his help and support, and he would do his duty as his friend. She would always be special for him, but that did not mean she was the person he would now consider spending the rest of his life with.

"When do you think your divorce will be definite?"

"Doritha, forget about the divorce. We need to talk about something more important, and what I want to tell you is that…"

Kid did not get to finish his sentence because at that moment Rachel stepped into the stables. From the look that the station mistress sent the pair, it was clear that she did not expect to find them there. "Sorry to interrupt. I just came for a tin of molasses from the shed. I didn't know you were here," Rachel said curtly, shifting her gaze between the pair with obvious coldness.

"No problem. It's just me and Kid talking," Doritha replied in a cheerful tone.

Rachel kept a stern face, and Kid could clearly perceive the hostility from the way the station mistress looked and held herself. "Something wrong, Rachel?" the rider asked even though he could guess the reason behind her stiff demeanor. Rachel had grown very fond of Louise, and surely wasn't taking her friend's leaving very well.

The station mistress took a couple of big, resolute strides towards Kid, and said, "I'm well aware that the proper thing to do would be to smile politely and say that nothing's wrong. Yet, I can't keep quiet about this… otherwise, I'll explode." Kid did not say a word, and Rachel continued, "I can't believe you let Louise go, Kid. I never expected this from you."

"From me?" Kid echoed in a slightly irritated tone. "Rachel, this is what Lou wanted, not me."

"Is it? Are you sure? Maybe this is what she thought _'you'_ wanted," Rachel retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

Kid shook his head. "I didn't want her to go like this. I told her and even begged her… more than once. But she's stubborn, and didn't hear me out. And she had no reasons to believe she had to go because of me."

"Didn't she? Kid you made it clear from the beginning that you wanted a divorce, and… well, of course other elements came to reassure that belief," Rachel said, turning her eyes to Doritha pointedly.

Kid followed the direction of Rachel's gaze, and his eyes stumbled upon Doritha's puzzled expression. There might be some truth in what Rachel was saying. Kid had never put Lou in the right about Doritha's presence in Rock Creek and his life. Foolishly, he had believed his clear indifference was enough a clue to clarify his intentions to both Doritha and Lou. Yet, it was obvious that Doritha hadn't got the message, and neither had Louise.

"Mrs. Dunne, Kid's a good man, and I'm sure he feels bad for the way things had turned out to be between him and Louise. Yet, they didn't have a real marriage, and it wasn't right for them to stay married under those circumstances."

"I really appreciate your altruistic and totally disinterested comments, Mrs. Maxwell, but this is a conversation between me and Kid," Rachel quipped ironically, which gained her a glare from the younger woman. The station mistress ignored her, and turned to the rider. "Kid, I thought you were different. Don't you have an ounce of compassion in your soul? Haven't you even stopped to consider for one tiny second what this means for the person who's still your wife?"

Kid was getting irritated. It was totally understandable that Rachel felt upset about Lou, but it wasn't right that she hurled accusation after accusation, all of which were totally unfair. "Let me say this again, Rachel. This was Lou's idea… it was her idea! She didn't give me any other option. I didn't want her to go! I'm very fond of her, and this is not what I wanted."

"You could've fooled me," Rachel remarked caustically.

"Louise will be fine," Doritha added, disregarding Rachel's previous words. "As far as I've seen, she's a very capable lady."

Rachel gave the woman a skeptic look, and said, "Yes… I grant you she is, but I'm not sure she can do a lot when she has to face her father."

"Her father?" Kid echoed in confusion.

"Yes, her father… your father-in-law. You know him, and saw with your own eyes how good a father he is to your wife. He almost killed her the last time he was here."

"But Lou's not going to him," Kid replied, a tremor coursing all over his body at the mere idea of Louise at the mercy of John Boggs. "She's going to use her mother's inheritance… she won't live with her father again."

"Kid, she doesn't have a cent!" Rachel contradicted him. "She won't get the money you're talking about until she's twenty-one. Where do you think she's heading when she has no means to survive?"

"She… she can't go back to her father," Kid uttered as if he were in trance.

"Did you know John threatened her to death if she didn't give him a grandchild? What do you think he'll do when she turns up at his door 'unpregnant' after being sent off by her husband?"

Kid blanched and panicked as he listened to Rachel. Now things made sense to him, and he understood why Lou had flatly refused his offer to accompany her while she settled down. She was clearly returning to her pa's home, a panorama which looked ten times worse after what he had learned from Rachel just now.

"That's not our problem," Doritha stated. Her affable disposition had completely vanished; she was tired of hearing Rachel Dunne's spirited defense of Louise as if Doritha did not count. Lou was history, and now she was Kid's woman whether Rachel or anybody else wanted or not. "If her father's such a beast, I'm sorry, but that's her cross, not ours."

Kid hardly heard what Doritha was saying since his mind was completely focused on one single idea. "I have… I have to go and find her," he muttered, his voice trembling because of the fear he was feeling.

Rachel smiled in support while Doritha exclaimed, "Are you crazy? You're not going anywhere!"

"I need to get to her before her father does," Kid said, fearing he was already late, and thousands of terrible images filled his mind.

"No! I won't let you!" Doritha barked. "Louise is a clever girl, and can take care of herself. She's nothing to you."

"Doritha, let go of me," Kid said, as the woman had possessively taken hold of his arm. "I'm going after Lou. She's my wife… and … and I love her!" The words rushed out of his mouth before he actually knew what he was saying. As his declaration blurted out in the heat of the moment echoed in the cavernous stables and Doritha's eyes stared at him in shock, Kid took a deep breath as he repeated, "Yes, I love her… I love her!"

The words had an immediate effect. Doritha's eyes opened widely in clear surprise and the hand which had clasped Kid's arm tightly released him and flew to cover her mouth.

"I'm sorry you have to learn about it this way. I didn't plan for this to happen, but it did. At the beginning I thought I just sympathized with Lou because of our similar stories with our fathers. I even tried to deny something was happening to me for a while, but I can't anymore."

"And… and you don't love me?" Doritha asked in a neutral voice, trying to sound indifferent.

"Not the way you deserve," Kid admitted. "I'm really sorry."

Doritha sighed. "I feared this the moment I saw you and her together. I'm not a fool or blind, and every time you turned your eyes to her, well… you looked like a fool. I can accept that because I don't actually care, Kid. You might love her, but she doesn't love you. I do, and I can be a good wife. You can even learn to love me again like you grew to love Louise."

Kid shook his head. "I'm sorry, Doritha, but no. If Lou's not in my life, nobody else will be. That wouldn't be fair for you."

"Then you'll end up all alone and miserable," Doritha threatened him.

"Yes… you're probably right."

Realizing that neither her threats nor her offers had worked, Doritha knew she had been defeated. So without another word she turned on her heel and walked out. Kid's eyes desperately shifted to find Rachel's. "I really need to go after Lou."

"I know," the station mistress replied with a smile, and perceiving the meaning in the words he had not uttered, she added, "Don't worry about Doritha. I'll talk to her, and make sure she's fine."

"Thanks, Rachel. I owe you so much," Kid said as he opened the stall door, ready to saddle Katy for a long ride to St Joseph, which he hoped would have a happy ending.

"You don't owe me anything. Just make sure Lou's fine. And remember how stubborn your wife can be. So be firm with her, and don't let her push you away again. She might need a lot of persuasion."

Kid smiled. "Yes, I'll take that into account. I just hope to find her."

"I'm sure you will," Rachel replied, and as Kid finally pulled Katy out of the stables, the woman stood there smiling and praying that this couple of fools would finally meet in the real sense. They deserved a happy life together. Fortunately, Kid was already on his way to make it reality, and if Lou didn't make things too difficult, there might be something to celebrate when they returned to Rock Creek.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 53**

In her hotel room Louise opened her carpet bag and rummaged inside, trying to find a clean, dry handkerchief. The bag was almost empty since she had unpacked her clothes and hung them in the wardrobe as soon as she had arrived in St. Joseph a couple of days ago. Her hand came into contact with some soft material, but as she picked the object up, its weight told her that it was not the handkerchief she was looking for.

Curious, Louise lifted what her hand had grabbed to her eyes. It was a velvety, red pouch, and recognition dawned on her immediately. It was the gift that Kid had given her a few weeks ago the day after Doritha had barged into their lives. Back in those days she thought he had bought the present out of guilt or even pity so Lou had been so jealous and irritated that she had never bothered to find out what it was. Now curiosity got the better of her, and she opened the pouch.

Inside the velvety bag Louise discovered a couple of beautiful tortoiseshell combs. "He remembered," Lou whispered as she stared at two objects in the palm of her hand with wide open eyes. The night of the social she had mentioned her intention to buy a pair of combs as her hair had grown considerably, and Kid had obviously remembered that conversation. This was so thoughtful of him, actually the best gift she had ever received. Her father had always lavished her with expensive presents when he was in a generous mood, but Kid's small gift meant more to her than all those luxuries together. It showed how special he was, and as once again the realization of how much she had lost hit her, tears started to pool in her eyes.

Irritated, Louise furiously wiped the tears with the back of her right sleeve. What the heck was wrong with her? Lately all she did was cry, weep and sob in every way and fashion. Everything made her teary, especially when she thought of Kid. Why did he have to be this sweet and lovely? Why couldn't he be more like her father's friends? If he were a selfish, arrogant, cruel, insensitive moron, it would be easier for her to hate him, because that was what she wanted. She wanted to hate his guts, and wish him ill because that way she wouldn't be hurting so much as she was now.

Louise sighed audibly as she sank down on the bed. Hopefully, things would be easier with the pass of time, or at least that was what she told herself. Kid was her past, and she needed to think of him as a nice memory, that's all. Now she had to focus on herself, because she had nobody else. No one could say where she was heading and where she might be tomorrow and any other day after that. The future lying before her was uncertain, but that did not mean she had to be miserable for the rest of her days.

When Lou had arrived in St. Joseph two days ago, she had sent a message to her father through one of his employees she had found at the saloon. Lou could well have gone straight to the house her father owned a few miles from town, but she knew that if she set foot in the place she had called home for the last seven years, she would not be able to get out of there. So for her own security it was better she meet her father in a public place. In the message Louise had told him that her marriage was broken, and she needed to see him. That had been two days ago, and Lou had not heard from him yet.

As Louise thought how unlike her father this long wait was, a knock sounded at the door. The unexpected rapping almost made her jump out of her skin, and she started feeling very nervous. "One… one moment," she called in a trembling voice as she rose from the bed and put the combs back into her carpet bag, which she hid under the bed. Her hand smoothed out the creases on the quilt, and then she darted to open the door. Yet, she stopped again. There was no way to know what her father might have in store for her. He must surely be furious, and as soon as she opened the door, he might perfectly give her a strong shove, knock her down, and show her how terribly angry he was. She should well expect the worst, so she better be ready for his usual ways.

Standing in the middle of the room, Lou looked around, trying to locate something she could use to defend herself against the man who had fathered her. This time she would not let him trample over her without a fight. As her eyes scanned the room, there was another couple of knocks at the door. "One moment! Coming…" she said loudly as she grabbed the stoker from the fireplace rack, and shot towards the door.

Her left hand squeezed the handle of the stoker tightly as her right hand turned the knob, and opened the door. To her utter surprise, a different face appeared before her, and she stared totally agape at the person she had thought she would never see again. "K… Kid?" she croaked flabbergasted, not quite believing what she was seeing.

"Hi, Lou," the rider whispered as relief washed over him. During the whole ride he had been worried he might not find Lou, and when the receptionist had confirmed his wife was in the hotel, a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders.

"What… what are you doing here?"

"May I come in?" he asked. Louise nodded, moving aside to let him enter. Lou closed the door behind him, replaced the stoker in the fireplace rack and turned her questioning eyes to him, expecting an answer. Kid realized just then that he had not actually thought about what to tell her when the moment arrived. His whole self had been totally focused on finding her, and now that she was in front of him, he was at a loss. "Lou…"

"What?"

"I've come here because… because… because… because…"

"For goodness' sake, Kid! Spit it out!" Louise urged him, irritated by his indecision.

Kid took a deep breath, and clumsily blurted out, "Lou, you lied to me."

"What?" Lou exclaimed with a confused frown.

"I know the truth. You don't have the money you claimed you have!" Kid replied a bit too passionately.

His accusation naturally did not sit well with Louise. "That's none of your business!" Lou barked loudly, reacting harshly to hide the shame she was actually feeling at being found out. "What I have or don't have is just my concern! You shouldn't be here in the first place! So leave me alone and go back to your precious girlfriend!"

"Lou…" Kid tried in a softer tone and his hand reached out for her.

"Don't touch me!" Lou cried, swatting his hand off her shoulder as if his touch seared her skin. When her eyes met his dejected ones, she sobered, realizing she had overreacted again. Her face fell, and she walked to the bed on which she sank down. Directing her gaze to her lap, she said, "Kid, I didn't lie to you… well, not completely. What I told you about my mother's money is true. I'm supposed to inherit it when I turn twenty-one. Yet, I hope to reach an agreement with my father. He's the executor, and might give me the money in advance."

Kid stared at her skeptically. "And do you really believe he'll give you the money? Just like that?"

"Well, I have an ace up my sleeve which might help my cause," Lou replied, smiling coyly.

"What ace, Lou?"

Louise shook her head. "That's my secret."

The rider sighed. He was tired of secrets and half-truths. Because of his own reluctance to let things in the open, Lou had left Rock Creek and Doritha had almost taken her place. Kid admitted he had made too many mistakes, and this was his very last chance. "Lou," he continued softly as he sat down on the bed next to her, "why do you feel you need to do this? I told you I'd help you, and I don't understand why you have to resort to your father. The house in Rock Creek is yours, and I would never allow you to suffer difficulties. You're not alone. You have _me_."

"Kid, you're very sweet, but I ain't your responsibility anymore," Louise replied with a sad smile. "You needn't worry about me."

"How can I not worry about my wife? What kind of husband do you think I am?"

Lou smiled again even though Kid was obviously dead serious about his words. "You're such a nice person. I have to say Doritha's a very lucky girl for having you."

Kid kept quiet for a second, digesting what she had said, and then he added, "I'm not sure how lucky she is, but that has nothing to do with me."

Aware that there was something more to his words, Louise frowned and asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Lou, you got the wrong idea about me and Doritha. There's nothing going on between us… nothing at all, I told you."

"But… but you love her," Lou said, her face contorted into an expression that showed her shock and disconcertion.

"I… I loved her, that's true, but somehow things have changed for me. She's just a friend."

"You mean you ain't gonna marry her?" Lou asked incredulously. Kid shook his head, and the young woman could not help but let out a sonorous 'oh'. "So… so… so she's just a friend?" she asked again to double check she had heard right. Kid nodded, and Louise insisted, "A friend like me?"

"No, Lou, not like you."

Louise stared at him, wondering what he had meant by his last sentence, but he did not seem ready to elaborate, and she did not dare to ask. The pair remained in awkward silence. Kid was not sure how to raise the next part of his plan whereas Louise was still trying to process all the information she was receiving all of a sudden. "Lou, you know something?" Kid finally broke the ice. Louise tilted her head, motioning him to continue, "When I was riding, I kept thinking about everything we have shared during all these months."

"Really?" Louise said. It was odd because she had been doing the same since the moment she had left Rock Creek behind.

Kid nodded and continued, "One particular moment keeps popping into my mind. You know which?"

"The social?" she ventured. That was the memory she kept replaying over and over again.

Kid smiled in agreement. "That was a pretty special night even if I clumsily stepped on your poor feet."

"That was nothing," Louise replied, feeling light-hearted all of a sudden as if all her problems had vanished.

"I have to say that apart from trampling on your feet, there's something more I regret."

"What?" Lou asked urgently.

"Not doing this as it should be done." And to Lou's surprise, Kid placed his hand at the nape of her neck, and brought her lips to his. Unlike that night weeks ago, his kiss now was unmistakably passionate, strong and hot. Kid put all his heart into showing in a very expressive way how much she meant to him. Likewise, once Louise got over the initial shock, she found herself following his lead and responding to his ardent kiss.

When Kid pulled away a few minutes later, Lou was breathless and disconcerted. His blue eyes bored into hers, and suddenly, she could clearly read what he was not saying, and her whole body trembled from head to toe. In the same way Kid was still shaken after their mind-blowing kiss, but he managed to find his own voice, "You can now slap me, scream, or kick me out of here. I had to do it, Lou. I needed to kiss you… maybe for just this time, but I was dying here to do it."

Louise heard him, completely shocked because she would not have expected this in a million years. For a few seconds she stared at him agape, and a terrible longing for feeling his kisses again took hold of her whole self. Before she knew what she was doing, her mouth found his passionately. Locked into each other, they fell on the bed, kissing fervently as if there was no tomorrow. Lou felt that she had no control or will over herself anymore. Her body was on fire, and she was not sure what strange force drove her to move, act and feel this way. All she knew was that she could not stop.

"Oh Lou…" Kid breathed among kisses. "I love you so much, and I want to be so much more than your friend. I really want to be your husband in every sense."

"Please kiss me… kiss me," she begged him, grabbing him by the shirt front and pulling him to her again.

Kid smiled and happily complied. His hands roamed over her back, and even though his senses were intoxicated and numb, he tried to restrain himself. He had made too many mistakes with Lou, and now that things seemed to lead in the right direction, he would not blow this chance by rushing her.

Suddenly, Kid felt her hands travel up his chest and struggle to undo his shirt buttons. Surprised by her forwardness, Kid took her hands in his and managed to say, "Lou… that… that's not…"

Louise felt her cheeks flush in humiliation as she became aware of what she was doing, and to make matters worse, Kid was stopping her. A lady would never behave so brashly, and now Kid got to realize what kind of person she was. "I… I… I'm sorry. I thought… I thought you wanted this," she stuttered, ducking her head because she felt unable to meet his eyes.

Kid placed a finger under her chin and made her look up, cursing himself for his clumsiness and embarrassing her. "Lou, what I want doesn't matter. I love you and I don't want you to feel we have to jump to… to… this. You mean the world to me, and… and… and I'd love to show you that properly… and court you."

Louise smiled, relieved to realize she had no reason to feel ashamed. Kid was not refusing her, but behaving like the gentleman he was. "Court me? We've had over ten months' courtship!" she exclaimed.

"Yes… in a way that's true."

"And we never had a wedding night," Louise reminded him.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you should feel forced to do something just for my sake. I don't want you to think I'm just a grabber, or that I'm just looking for… that."

"Yes, I know. You let me know the very first night we were alone after we got married," Louise replied among giggles. "Actually, you thought I was the grabber. What did you tell me? Oh yes. 'No funny business, Ma'am'." Louise laughed at the memory while Kid blushed, uneasy at remembering what a jackass he had been when he had first met Louise. "Kid, don't you think I know what you're like by now? I want this too, and I love you," she finished the last sentence of her speech in a whisper while running her index finger down his chest.

Kid smiled at her shy declaration of love, feeling his chest swell with happiness and emotion. "Lou, are you sure?"

"I've never been so sure about anything else before."

Kid stared into her eyes in total awe, hardly believing this was actually happening for real. His wife loved him which was the best gift life could give him. All his dreams materialized in the woman before his eyes. He wanted to love her till the end of the world, and this was just the beginning of their magic story. So as their lips joined together once again, they sealed and confirmed the start of a union that would continue all night long and every single night after that.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 54**

Feeling as if she had been sleeping for a million years, Louise opened her eyes and smiled as she found Kid staring at her. Memories of yesterday came back full force, and she felt her whole body ooze and ache with sheer happiness. After riding all the way from Rock Creek to Saint Joseph, Kid had told her he loved her. That had been the most beautiful moment of her life. After that, they had made love several times all through the night, and Lou could not actually remember when she had eventually fallen asleep.

Louise yawned and stretched her arms. "What time is it?" she asked without taking her eyes off him.

"Almost noon."

"Kid, you shouldn't have let me sleep this long!" Louise exclaimed, slapping his naked shoulder teasingly.

"You needed your rest… especially after last night," Kid replied, wiggling his eyebrows pointedly. Louise giggled and let herself be cocooned in his arms once again. Kid wrapped his arms around her waist under the sheets and kissed her softly on the lips. "Good morning, my curse."

At his strange endearment, Louise frowned in confusion and echoed his words, "My curse?"

Kid smiled and a blush crept onto his cheeks. "That's what I kind of called you, you know, at the beginning." Louise gazed into his eyes with a mixture of amusement and mild reproach. "I don't want to hide anything from you… not anymore. Now you're my blessing… my special, lovely blessing."

His hand softly stroked her back, and Louise grinned, obviously pleased by his words. Kid kept staring at her with a faraway look, and such intensity made Lou color. "What's that face for?"

Her voice snapped Kid out of his momentary absorption, and he chuckled at himself before speaking up. "I was just thinking, 'oh Kid, she's so beautiful. How lucky can a man get? For some strange reason, she loves you, and on top of it all, she's already married to you.' Lou, I'm so, so, so lucky for having you."

Lou smiled once again, but as his words dawned on her, she was hit by reality and her gay expression turned into total despair. "Oh Kid!" she cried, clearly upset.

"What is it?" Kid asked, concerned by her sudden change. "You're scaring me."

"The divorce," Louise explained the reason behind her anguish. "We'll soon be divorced."

Kid could not help but grin. "I'm not so sure about that, Lou."

His cheerful disposition clearly gave away that he was hiding something. "What do you mean, Kid?"

"When you left… well, I couldn't bring myself to take the last step that would pull us apart forever, so I kept putting off going to the lawyer," he elaborated. "The papers are still sitting in the same drawer we put them in."

"Are you serious?" Louise asked, her face beaming at once.

Kid nodded, and they both burst out laughing. The cadence of both their laughter combined harmoniously, evidence of the host of emotions they had experienced in the last twenty-four hours. The echo of their joy resounded in the room, which would contrast with their countenances a couple of months ahead when they discovered that somebody had double-crossed them. "Lou," he whispered when he sobered as his hand softly brushed against her naked shoulder. "I really want to share everything with you… live every single day of my existence with you… walk with you… struggle through life with you… make a family with you, and grow old with you. If I could, I would pledge my wedding vows again right now."

"The vows you didn't mean the first time," Louise reminded him.

"Neither did you," he replied, teasingly touching the tip of her nose with his index finger.

Louise giggled again. It was so odd, but since last night she kept chortling like a schoolgirl for the simplest thing. This was the most extraordinary thing that had ever happened to her and she was feeling so joyous that she wanted to shout at the top of her lungs. "Kid, I want all that too," she whispered, caressing his face softly. "I love you."

"I love you too… I love you so much," Kid said just before his lips joined hers once again. Soon passion escalated. Their kiss deepened and their arms struggled to touch every single inch of each other's skin, and feel one another as close as possible.

A few knocks resounded in the silent room, but the couple did not even seem to hear it. They were back in their special, exclusive universe that nothing could disturb or cross its limits. Yet when a voice followed the knocks seconds later, the effect was instantaneous. "Louise, open up. I know you're in there."

Those simple words worked like magic. The spell broke instantly and the couple quickly pulled away. "Oh my God… it's… it's my father."

Louise was out of the bed in no time, and once she had found her nightgown, she threw it over her head. "Lou, don't open the door. He'll eventually leave," Kid asked her, sitting on the bed.

"I can't do that!" Louise exclaimed as if he was suggesting she do some atrocious act. "Don't worry. I'll get rid of him."

Before Kid could protest, Lou ran to the door but stopped for a second to smooth out the material of her nightgown and her tousled hair. She then took a deep breath and as she opened the door a crack, she found herself face-to-face with the person who had become a nightmare for her in the last years. "Hello, sir. I… I'm sorry for making you wait. I was feeling a bit unwell this morning, and that's why I was taking a nap."

Boggs did not say anything. His eyes looked Lou up and down, studying her, scrutinizing her. Meanwhile, feeling self-conscious for his unconcealed appraisal, Louise kept running her fingers though her hair in a poor attempt to make it look presentable. After the incredible night with Kid, she knew every single hair on her head was in disarray. Her eyes lifted to his, and she noticed his indifference turn into irritation. "Do you think I'm a gullible idiot?" he barked angrily. "Do you actually believe I don't know what you've been up to? Hear me out, I won't have you whoring around like a vulgar…"

At the same time his irritation translated into his speech, Boggs pushed Louise forcefully, shoving her in to the room. As he stepped inside, his voice faltered when his eyes discovered what his daughter had actually tried to hide from him.

On seeing his father-in-law, Kid quickly wrapped the quilt around his lower middle and pushed himself up into a sitting position against the head board. Boggs stared at him as if he was seeing a ghost, and Louise decided to speak up. "Kid came to see me yesterday. We talked and sorted out our differences. We're back together… for good."

Kid smiled and shared a knowing look with his wife. "Uh… I'll leave you now then," Boggs said in obvious discomfort. "I'll wait for you two at the restaurant."

Lou nodded, and Boggs ran out of the place, slamming the door shut as if the devil was hot on his heels. When the echo of the sound died down, Lou and Kid shared another look and burst out laughing at the same time. When they sobered, Louise walked back to the bed, and creeping up to him, she hooked her arms around his neck. "So where were we before my father interrupted?" she asked and her mouth eagerly found his.

"Lou, your father's waiting," Kid protested weakly, his own body contradicting what his lips were uttering.

Louise stopped momentarily, and looking into his eyes, she said, "Let him wait… I don't care… I don't care anymore." That was her last word and her mouth was soon speaking another language, a language she was becoming very fluent in, and wanted to practice for the rest of her life.

* * *

Walking hand in hand down the hotel corridor, the couple kept sending each other smiles and looks. A sigh escaped Lou's lips, and she could not help but say, "Oh Kid, I feel so happy that I'm scared."

The Southerner smiled even more if that was possible, and tilting his head to her, he whispered, "No need to be scared. I'm here, and I plan to work hard to make you happy every single day of our lives." Louise grinned gleefully and as they reached the stairs Kid made a sour face as he said, "Lou, I don't really want to talk to your father. I'm not sure I can sit at the same table as him and be civil. All I can think of is the way he treated you when he visited us in Rock Creek. Thinking about that makes my blood boil."

"I don't feel like talking to him either. Just think of this as a social commitment we have to go through. It won't take long, and we better not make an enemy out of him."

Her last words surprised him. "What do you mean by that? Why are you so scared of him?"

"I'm not scared… not anymore, but I know him too well. If we upset him, well… we better not try that."

Kid gazed at her with curiosity, but Lou did not elaborate. The pair made their way down the staircase in silence. As soon as they stepped into the almost empty restaurant, they saw Boggs sitting at one of the tables at the farthest corner next to a window. The couple approached, and Boggs stood up to greet them the way he had not done before.

"I took the liberty to order some lunch for the three of us," Boggs said as they sat down at the table. Kid and Lou looked at each other, suspecting this would take longer than what they had counted on, but they knew they could not refuse the invitation.

Boggs motioned the waiter to start serving their food, and three steaming plates of juicy meat, tender vegetables and creamy soft mashed potatoes were soon before them. "I have to say I'm quite thrown with this unexpected surprise. I didn't expect to find you together. In her note Louise sounded very sure your marriage was over."

"It was my fault," Kid awkwardly replied, unsure how to explain their situation without getting into much detail. "I was a fool. We could have sorted out our problems sooner. I shouldn't have let things go this far."

Boggs nodded slowly, but by his expression Kid was not sure if he actually agreed with him, or his nod was just an instinct reaction. The man's next words confirmed the rider's suspicions. "To tell you the truth, this unexpected change is quite an inconvenience."

"An inconvenience?" Kid echoed, glimpsing at Lou out of the corner of his eye. "What do you mean by that?"

"I consider myself a man of honor, and when my daughter let me know she was as good as single, I did what any other father would in my position."

Louise felt a shiver run all through her body, foreseeing that one of her father's surprises would be coming. Even though she was certain, she would not like what was in store for her, she could not help but ask, "What have you done, father?"

For the first time Boggs turned his eyes to his daughter, and said, "Wicks is back and wants you. We reached an agreement. He'll make you his wife and I get some benefits. You know, I can't go back on my word now."

The mere mention of the man's name made Lou almost gag, and all of a sudden, she became a nervous wreck. Her heart was pounding in her chest powerfully, and the air seemed to reach her in very short supply. "But… but… but that's crazy! I already have a husband! I'm married to Kid! You married me off to him!"

"That can be fixed easily enough," Boggs replied and turning his attention to Kid, he added, "You name the figure. I'm ready to be very generous if you agree to divorce my daughter."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Lou exclaimed loudly, not caring who might hear her. "You're insulting my husband, not to mention, me!"

"Lou's not for sale," Kid stated seriously.

Boggs ignored his daughter's protests, and kept addressing the rider. "That's not what you thought when you accepted the money I put in your hands for marrying her."

Kid cringed at the reference. That was the moment in his life he felt most ashamed of. He did not regret marrying Lou because meeting her and becoming her husband was the best gift that destiny could ever give him, but he wished circumstances had been different. "That's in the past. Lou's my wife and you can't treat her as if she were merchandise!"

"Before being your wife, she's my daughter," Boggs counterattacked. "And I have every right to decide what is best for her."

"What's best for me?" Lou echoed sarcastically. "Don't you mean what is best for _you_, father? How much do you plan to earn by selling me? Father, this is my life! _MY_ life and I have a say in all this. I've endured your tyrannical ways all my life, but this time I won't let you win! Kid's my husband, and I won't leave him… ever!"

Boggs stared at her impassive as if her passionate speech had nothing to do with him. When she finished, a smirk showed on his face while he said, "Very well. If you don't want to leave him, that's fine by me. But… you know, a man can't marry a woman who's already married, but he can always marry a widow."

The shine in his brown eyes made the meaning of his words clear. Lou stared at her father with big eyes in total shock. Suddenly, she felt so terrified that she could not talk, she could not move, she could not think. The room seemed to spin around her, and she thought she was going to faint. But, no, she remained there, watching the monster her father actually was. His cynical face looked back at her, and she knew she could not stand it anymore. She had to leave, and in an almost knee-jerk reaction, she jumped to her feet, tipping over the chair as she ran out of the place.

"Lou!" Kid called urgently, but she was already gone. When he turned his eyes back to Boggs and noticed his smirk, Kid's anger soared. "Let me tell you just one thing. If you dare to touch or harm my wife again, I'll forget you're her father. Mark my words because that might be the last thing you do in your life."

Tossing his napkin on the table, Kid walked away to find Lou. Boggs remained at the table alone, and in the same impassive attitude he picked up his fork and resumed eating his lunch. The meat was especially delicious today, and he made a mental note to congratulate Mrs. Cooper, the cook because she really deserved it.


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 55**

Very slowly Kid turned the knob and tentatively opened the door. Despite being early in the afternoon, dark shadows hovered in the room since the sky outside was overcast and a thick layer of black clouds threatened the earth below. Kid poked his head inside the hotel room, and squinted his eyes before he saw her. Lou stood before the empty fireplace with her back turned to the door Kid had opened a crack. After a few seconds, he stepped into the room and approached her. "Lou…" he whispered, placing a hand on her tense right shoulder.

Feeling his touch, Louise relaxed, and despite the tears filling her eyes, she smiled to herself. "I shouldn't be surprised," she whispered in a cracked voice. "This is old history. I can never win against my father."

"Who is this Wicks?" Kid dared to ask.

Louise tilted her head, and looked at him over her shoulder. "The fella who was in Rock Creek a few weeks ago, remember?" Kid nodded. For some reason he had never learned why the encounter with the man had left Lou in tears, and even though curiosity was eating him alive, he had never tried to pry. "He… he's also the man I was once engaged to."

At this new piece of information Kid felt overcome by a pang of jealousy. Lou had told him she had lost her virginity to her first fiancé, and now that Kid knew who he was, he wondered whether her tears actually expressed her real feelings for Wicks or her frustration for having lost her past love. Even though Louise had confessed to Kid that she was in love with him, he needed to know if there was somebody else who might make her heart beat faster. "Lou… do you… do you still have feelings for him?"

"Feelings?" Louise exclaimed loudly as she quickly swirled around to face him. "Of course I still have feelings for him! I despise him with all my heart! Just hearing his very name makes me gag! How else do you think I can feel for an abuser?"

"Please… please calm down," Kid said, taking her hands in his, which she had kept moving nervously during her angry tirade. "Please talk to me. What are you saying?"

Louise sighed, disentangled herself from his hold, and sank down on the bed. "That… that bastard… he forced himself on me," Lou blurted out. Instantly, the expression on Kid's face changed, and the horror she found there made her hang her head in shame. She had never told anyone about this, but now it was right that Kid learned the whole truth. Her eyes focused on her hands that she kept wringing nervously as she continued, "Apparently, he wanted to sample what my father was offering him, and… and… he was too strong for me to fight him." Lou paused to breathe in, and after a few seconds, she carried on with her account again. "Of course after … after it happened, I went to my father, but he was as bad as the bastard who had raped me. He told me he wasn't too happy with me losing my virtue before my marriage, but since he was going to become my husband anyway, that was my duty."

"Lou… I'm so sorry," Kid whispered, kneeling in front of her and once again taking her hands in his.

Louise dared to meet his eyes, which were filled with a strange combination of sadness, frustration, and disbelief. At least, she thought, he didn't look disgusted nor had he rejected her straightaway. The story was not over yet, and in any case, their destiny was already sentenced, but it would hurt too much to lose Kid in all senses just because of a past others had decided for her. "He… he kept coming, and I endured my situation any way I could… I'm not sure how I did it to get to the end of every day… It felt like being dead… I had lost everybody I loved, and my future looked as black as hell. Every night I curled up in bed, crying and praying I die for real." Louise paused once again, and then added, "Obviously, Heaven didn't hear me out, but another miracle took place instead. Wicks and my father had a strong disagreement, and their partnership broke up. Wicks left, which was the only stroke of good luck I had in a long time."

Kid lingered to Lou's every word, feeling with her, and realizing many things he had not understood before. "Oh Lou, you must have been so scared when we first got married! After what you went through with him, I can't blame you for acting so aloof when we met."

"I was terrified," Louise admitted in a very soft voice, as she brought back to mind the first days she had been left alone with Kid. Even though his mother had reassured her she had nothing to be afraid of, Lou had not been able to shed her fears. Her experience told her that looks were deceiving, and in those first weeks she had hardly slept a wink because she half expected Kid to appear and attack her the same way Wicks had done.

"Oh Lou…"

"Kid, there's more in this story. Do you want to hear the rest?" she asked in a stiff voice.

The rider nodded weakly. In fact, he wished there was nothing else to learn. Hearing her tell that somebody had repeatedly raped her with her father's consent had stirred all his insides devastatingly. Kid could not even say how he was actually feeling. All he wanted was to make every single bad moment and memory disappear from her life. Such a special person like Lou deserved to be treated like royalty, and no woman, let alone her, should suffer such cruelty. Kid knew he could not do anything to make her pain lesser. That had happened when he was not in the picture, and now all he could do was listen to her and show her his support.

"He… he… he… he got me pregnant," Lou managed to say and quickly lowered her eyes, unable to look at him. "I didn't know… At the time my father was trying to find me another suitor. So he threw one of his notorious parties, and invited dozens of guests, among them his creepy friends and his other acquaintances, rich families with their rich heirs… I was nothing but the bait that attracted those fish that hoped to set their hands on my father's money. That night I started feeling a bit funny but my father wouldn't hear me out. In his usual way he ordered me to be at the party and behave. As the hours dragged that night, I felt worse and worse. When I was dancing the umpteenth tune, I was hit by terrible pains and fainted. I don't remember much of what happened after that. I was told later that the light blue skirt I was wearing was drenched in oozing blood. A circle of people apparently gathered around my lying body, and naturally people could guess what was happening to me. The town's doctor was called immediately, and when I came around, one of my father's servants told me I had suffered a miscarriage. Nobody ever said another word about the matter again, especially my father."

"I'm … so sorry," Kid managed to utter. What he was getting to know today was so huge that he could hardly express what he was feeling or form a coherent thought.

"I'm not," Lou stated in a dry voice, lifting her eyes to her husband. "I know it sounds callous and makes me a horrible, insensitive human being, but… but … I can't even start imagining having a child by that… that beast. A child doesn't deserve to be born that way or have a father like that animal."

Kid was still on his knees, but now he rose up and took a seat next to her on the bed. "Lou, you're not horrible. It's understandable. Nobody can blame you for feeling like that. What you went though is way more than anybody can endure. It's incredible how you managed to leave all that behind. That just proves what an extraordinary woman you are."

Louise did not think she was anything special, but instead of contradicting her husband, she continued, "After that night, everybody was aware I was… you know, soiled goods. My father was just worried about his damn honor, and naturally about my poor chances to find a husband. He doesn't care about me. All he wants is for me to give him a grandson. That's why he would settle for anybody who wanted to marry me."

"Me…" Kid whispered.

Louise nodded. "Your father's letter came to him like rain after a drought. You were his only chance, and he even instructed me how to act on our wedding night so that you wouldn't suspect I was no virgin. I'm sorry, Kid."

"Lou, I'm just sorry I can't do anything to erase all that suffering you had to undergo. I'm not sorry we are together," he replied, gently taking her hand in his.

"But our path ends here," Louise whispered in a husky voice as fresh tears threatened with spilling. Once again she was on the receiving end of life's cruel blows, but this time it hurt more than all the beatings she had received from her father during all her years altogether.

"No! Lou, you can't mean that!" Kid exclaimed passionately. "You said it yourself! _WE_ are married, and that means something."

"Yes, but everything changes when my father's around. I can't be happy. Life won't let me."

"Don't say that. You can't give up now."

"I can't choose, Kid. I wish I could. You heard what my father said. I love you, and I don't want anything to happen to you. I know Wicks and my father are more than capable of carrying out those threats."

"And I don't want anything to happen to you either!" Kid exclaimed, his hands travelling from her hands to her shoulders. "I'm not gonna leave you at the mercy of those two monsters! I don't care what your father says or what he plans to do. If I have to die for you, I will."

Louise lowered her eyes again, feeling the tears struggling to escape. With every word Kid uttered, her pain became more severe and sharp. "I… I'm not worth it."

"Lou, I don't like hearing you talk about yourself that way," Kid continued in the same passionate way, his anger showing in a very obvious way. He was not angry with her, but with the man who had made her doubt herself. Kid now understood many things about his wife and cursed himself for being unable to find out what she had kept hidden from him.

"It's true."

"No, it's not!" the rider insisted. "You can't give up so easily. I know you're a fighter."

"I can't fight if that endangers the person I love. Kid, you can't even imagine how far my father can reach to get his way. You don't really know him, but I do. I can't let him hurt you… I just can't."

Kid paused and stared into her eyes that were bright with unshed tears. After that brief lapse, he cupped her face in his hands and said, "Lou, do me a favor, and tell me what you want."

"I…"

"What do you want, honey? What do 'you' really want? Tell me and forget about the rest of the world."

"I want to be with you," Lou stated firmly, not a trace of doubt in her voice. Yet, when Kid smiled, her countenance changed as she tried to speak up. "But…"

"Shh… no buts, Lou," he broke in, gently placing a finger against her lips. "You're my wife and I'm your husband. We love each other, and nothing else matters. I won't allow anybody to take you from me."

"Kid…" Louise tried again, but this time her protests were interrupted by his kisses. A loud voice was shouting in her head to stop him. If she gave in, she was positive where they would be leading. Nobody had ever won over John Boggs's will, and if she and Kid went against him, they would now be signing Kid's death sentence. Lou knew very well what her father had implied in the restaurant, and the idea terrified her. Whatever she did, she was on the losing end, but she would do whatever it took to save her husband. "Kid, please…" Lou tried once again, yet very weakly as she was about to break down and succumb to his loving ministrations.

With her right hand Lou tried to pull him away. Naturally Kid would not let her. Clasping his arms around her waist, he brought his lips closer to hers once again as he whispered against her mouth, "Please, Lou, let me prove to you I'm the husband you deserve. Let's fight this. You're not alone anymore. Don't be scared because I'm by your side."

Lou could not resist anymore. His kisses were too powerful against her weak will. They fell on the bed as they silently swore love, passion and loyalty to each other in every possible way. Everything seemed to disappear around them. Yet, Kid's words still resounded in Lou's ears. Scared? She was not scared… rather terrified. Kid had no idea what he was getting into or what kind of man he was challenging. This was not a simple matter, but a huge, unsurpassable abyss. As Lou allowed herself to feel her husband as close as possible, her body trembled from head to toe, fearing this was just the beginning of a very near end.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 56**

They left for Rock Creek early the following morning. The sun had not even come up yet when Kid and Lou rode away for fear that Boggs might follow and intercept them at some point. After being on the trail for a few hours, Lou started feeling more at ease. However, she could not get rid of the anguish that had settled at the pit of her stomach.

At the end of the day the couple stopped and set up camp for the night. Lou had hardly said a word all day long, and as they sat before the campfire, she kept as quiet as a mouse. Kid had hunted a rabbit, so they had roasted meat for dinner that night. Yet, even though Louise tried to force herself to eat, she could not have a single bite. Kid kept looking at her in concern and did his best to find any way to distract her worries, talking about anything that crossed his mind and making silly comments. So far his efforts were not paying off.

All Louise could think about was her father's threats and what might happen to Kid. Dozens of images of Kid lying inert on the ground, bloody and lifeless, kept popping in her mind, and she could even vision the terrible torments her father could surely inflict on him. The images were so real that even though her husband was next to her, she could not help but feel totally shaken, as if her reality was actually the one reigning in her head.

The lack of food in her stomach, the tiredness her body complained about, and her fears were playing havoc on her. So when she took a tiny bite of the meat and watered it down her throat, her already upset stomach rebelled. Bile crept into her mouth, and she shot off, stopping when she could not hold back any longer. "Lou!" Kid called loudly as he dashed after her. Behind a tree, Lou was retching while hot tears trickled down her face. Kid stooped next to her and gently moved his hand up and down her bended back. When her nausea was over, he offered her his handkerchief to wipe her mouth. "I know it's a dumb question, but how are you feeling?"

Instead of answering, Louise impulsively threw herself to him and hooked her arms around his neck, almost squeezing the air out of him. "Oh Kid! Oh Kid!" That was all she kept repeating over and over again like a mantra because she felt unable to say what had upset her so much. Fleeing from her father was going to cost Kid his life, and it was not fair that a good man like him had to pay such a big prize because he had happened to get involved with the wrong people… just because of her.

When Louise had calmed down, Kid walked his wife back to the camp. He spread a bedroll, and after making her lie down, he tucked her in. Louise never let go of his hand, which she squeezed tightly. "Are you feeling better?" he asked as he remained crouched by her side. There were marked lines in his forehead which clearly showed he was very worried about what she was going through, and he wished he found the way to erase everything that troubled her so much. Louise nodded at his question. Kid relaxed a bit and even allowed himself to smile. "I imagine your upset stomach has nothing to do with our new… condition? I heard that when women are in the family way, they feel sick."

Lou shook her head, and even a tiny smile subtly lit her face. "It's too soon… it's just… all the strain from the last day that's catching up with me."

Kid nodded in understanding, glad that at least his silly comment had managed to make her smile. Leaning over, he placed a soft kiss on top of her head and said, "Try to rest some."

As Kid tried to move away, Louise steeled her hold on his hand and would not let him go. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked in a strained voice, her eyes wide as saucers.

"I'm just gonna pick some more kindling to make sure the fire doesn't die on us," Kid explained patiently.

"Please don't be long," she almost begged, hating to sound so pathetic and needy. She could not help herself. Never before had she felt so frightened. It was as if everything, even herself, was out of her control, and the idea that she could not do anything about it scared her even more. Her father had been a terrible figure to fear, and she had grown up, accustomed to his ways, but now it was different. It involved somebody else, the person she loved most in life… she just couldn't lose Kid, she couldn't.

As Kid had said, he went in search of some more wood. A minute had barely gone by when he heard Lou's voice calling his name. The urgency in her summon alarmed him, so dropping the few twigs he had collected, he ran breathlessly back to the camp, drawing his gun out of his holster at the same time. "Lou!" he cried, but his feet stopped dead and his voice died when to his relief he found her alone and out of danger's way.

Louise breathed out when he appeared and said, "I can't hear you."

"Lou, I'm here, and I'll be with you in a minute… as soon as I pick up enough wood for our fire."

"Please talk to me. Don't stop. I just want to feel you're with me for real."

"All right, all right. I'll talk to you," Kid agreed, and as he walked back to the spot where he had dropped the firewood, he did as Louise requested. "Lou, let me tell you a little tale." He paused for a second, bent over to collect a dry branch, and continued. "There was once a beautiful girl…I don't think anybody has ever seen a fairer maiden. She had these big, captivating eyes that could go through your very soul, skin as soft as rose petals, and a smile that could melt your heart in a second. She was an angel on earth." Kid stopped once again to continue almost instantly. "A boy came along… a perfect moron. He was such a fool that when his good luck brought the girl into his life, he did nothing but grumble, moan and whine like a spoiled brat. He could hardly see beyond his very nose, and he did not know that fortune had touched him. His luck was much greater than his weak brains. The girl was not only beautiful but immensely generous, and decided that the boy was more than an idiot and took pity on him. They eventually fell in love and surprisingly lived happily ever after."

When his makeshift tale was over, Kid had finished picking up the wood and had even fed the camp fire. As he walked to where Louise was cozily lying, he found her still awake. Her eyes were opened an inch, and it was obvious she was fighting to remain awake. "Are we really going to live happily ever after?"

Kid smiled. "Of course. Don't you trust me?"

Louise made a strange face as dark thoughts came over her, but decided to shush them away as she said, "I think your tale ain't very accurate. I was a fool for a while too, and I ain't so pretty."

Kid shook his head in evident disagreement. "I think what you are saying doesn't make much sense," he teased her. "You're obviously too tired, and you should be sleeping already."

"I can't without my husband," Lou replied in a squeaky voice.

"You've been doing pretty well at night on your own for the last ten months," Kid reminded her as he sank down onto his bedroll next to her.

Instantly Louise wrapped her arms around his torso, and said, "Things are different now, and I never said I didn't miss you in my bed."

Kid smiled but did not reply to her comment. It felt so good to have her in his arms, and he was still amazed that this wonderful woman was his wife. His eyes focused on her, and shortly afterwards her deep breath intakes told him she had finally crashed. As she slept, Kid kept watching her. After the last twenty-four hours it was a relief to see her look so peaceful. Louise had been too upset and shaken all day along, and Kid could not blame her. He was actually overcome by a myriad of feelings. First, learning about some events in her life had raised the admiration he already felt for her. Lou was an amazing woman, and it was incredible that she had survived all the abuse she had suffered. Apart from that, Kid also felt infinite fury towards the men who had mistreated her, her father and that Wicks. His whole self pulled him to ride off right now, find those two hyenas, and throttle them to death. He would be glad to do the earth the favor of getting rid of them. They deserved a slow, painful death, and feel in their bones what Lou had suffered at their hands.

Kid was usually a level-headed man who believed in justice, but somehow this time things were different. The person who meant most to him had been hurt in a most terrible way, and his whole soul demanded retaliation. Naturally, what Lou really needed now was his support, and he could not leave her for any reason. So he would have to be patient, and try to act as sensibly as he was able to. So when they returned

to Rock Creek he would talk to Teaspoon.

There were reasons for him to report Lou's father and his partner to the law. Boggs had threatened him to death and Wicks was obviously his accomplice in his intentions. Kid wished he could have more real reasons to state, but since Boggs was Lou's father, the matter was not so simple. Parental abuse was not a crime to the law, and even what Wicks had done, given that Lou might let him report it, could only be frowned upon since it had taken place under her father's consent. Talking to Teaspoon would not do much, but at least it would soothe Lou's fears. She seemed to be too worried. Kid did not think Boggs was much of a menace. His threats surely were just a way to scare them away, but if he did not budge, the man would get tired and leave them alone in all probability. He was not scared and did not think he should expect anything from his father-in-law, but he would talk to Teaspoon, if not for him, for Lou's sake.


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 57**

It was around noon when the couple managed to reach Rock Creek. Even though they wanted nothing better than to go home, have a warm bath, and enjoy some real sleep in a cozy bed, Kid talked Louise into heading for the station first. He was eager to see Teaspoon as soon as possible. Leaving the way he had, Kid had not had the opportunity to explain his reasons to his boss, so he felt he owed him an apology. Apart from this, there was another more urgent matter. He had to tell Teaspoon all about his and Lou's situation with her father and his partner.

The windmill greeted them with a particularly lively flutter of its blades. Buck and Jimmy were in the corral with a couple of horses, and when they saw the couple ride in, Jimmy raised his voice to alert the others about the new arrival. At once, the rest of the riders, Teaspoon, and Rachel came out from different locations: the bunkhouse, the barn, and the whitewashed house. As Kid and Lou stopped their horses, they were welcomed by a small crowd formed by their friends. Once the newcomers were safe on the ground, Rachel came up to Louise straightaway and gave her a warm hug. "Is it safe for me to assume you're here to stay?"

Louise shifted her eyes to share a look with her husband before she answered, "We… we're in trouble."

There was a refrained silence as soon as Louise uttered her words. Rachel stared at her with a confused frown, and behind her Teaspoon verbalized the question in everybody's minds. "What kind of trouble?"

"Why don't we go inside? We'll explain everything there," Kid offered.

"Very well," Teaspoon replied, and addressing his riders, he added, "Boys, time for a break." Then he turned to Lou, and stretching his right arm courteously to her, he asked in his usual pompous way, "May I have the honor to escort you, Ma'am?"

Despite her latest problems, Louise could not help but grin as she hooked her arm around the marshal's. The pair led the way to the bunkhouse, followed by the riders. Kid purposefully lagged behind, walking next to Rachel because there was something he needed to ask.

"I gather you and Louise finally sorted out your matters," Rachel commented casually.

Kid's bright smile was enough to confirm her remark, but he still said, "Incredible as it may sound, she loves me."

"I'm really glad for the two of you," Rachel added weakly. Since Lou had said there was some kind of trouble, Rachel was weary about her words. She hoped Kid would hint at something that might enlighten her, but as he kept quiet, obviously intending to explain the matter when everybody was listening, Rachel walked on in silence.

"Rachel?" Kid called after a brief moment, and when he was sure he had her attention, he awkwardly asked, "What… what about Doritha? Did you talk to her?" He still felt horrible for the way things had turned out to be with his former girl. He had never meant to harm her. Doritha had been very important in his life and he would hate it if she thought he had let her down in her moment of need.

"She took the stagecoach yesterday. She intends to go back to Virginia."

"I guess she's heading for her sister's," Kid replied thoughtfully.

Rachel nodded. "And before she left she told me she hopes you like her farewell present."

"Her farewell present?" Kid asked in confusion.

"I don't know what she meant. She didn't elaborate," Rachel explained. "I imagine she must have left something for you at your place."

"Probably," Kid said in a slow voice.

"That shows what a selfless person she is," Rachel continued. "To be perfectly honest, I didn't think too much of her when she first showed up here, but this proved me wrong. You need to be very generous to wish well the person you love but can't have."

"Yeah… you're right," Kid replied, feeling worse and worse with every word Rachel uttered. He was aware he could have done things differently and much better with Doritha. His sense of guilt kept hammering in his head even though he also knew he had always meant well and tried to lessen the pain he had been sure he would inflict on her.

To his relief, they were already before the bunkhouse door. Soon all the Express family was sitting around the dinner table; for a minute nobody spoke, and after a while at Lou's approval nod Kid started and told them in detail what had happened in St. Joseph and what Lou's father's intentions were.

"But… that… that's crazy!" Jimmy exclaimed.

"His first promise was to you. How can he even think of breaking up your marriage like that?" Buck added.

"Apparently he thinks he can do whatever he wants because Lou belongs to him," Kid replied sarcastically, looking at his wife who had not said a word since they had sat down at the table.

Teaspoon had lingered to every detail in the story, and after keeping thoughtful for a while, he asked, "D'you really believe Mr. Boggs was serious about his threats?" Kid hesitated, and the marshal added, "As far as I could see when he was here, he didn't seem to be the kind of man who'd go that far."

Kid had not dared to put his own opinion into words yet because Lou had been too upset, and whenever he had tried to disregard her father's menacing stance, she had gotten even more distraught. "That's what I'm inclined to think too."

His words finally managed to make Lou react. She stared at her husband with big, surprised eyes as she exclaimed, "How can you say that? You heard him!"

"Lou, I think he was just trying to scare us, that's all."

Louise shook her head. "My father's a very dangerous man," she continued in a creaked voice. "You don't know half of what he's able to do." As she noticed Teaspoon's and some of the riders' skeptical looks, she insisted, "He's a very good actor, and knows what strings to pull in order to make people like him. He's not what he looks. You can't imagine the terrible things I've seen him do… many of which I suffered myself."

The last part of her speech was uttered in a whispered and she lowered her eyes in shame. Under the table Kid grabbed her hand and caressed it comfortingly while Rachel spoke up, "Louise, you shouldn't worry. Teaspoon and the boys won't let anything happen to you or Kid."

"We'll be on the lookout for your father and his partner," Teaspoon said, which was followed by a chorus of agreeing exclamations from the rest. Louise still looked doubtful and Kid nodded his head to assure her he meant the same as his friends.

Lou stared into her husband's eyes, which looked too confident and naïve in her opinion, and she felt like crying. For the umpteenth time she sighed and shook her head when she spoke up again. "You don't really understand. This is much worse than what it looks." She paused for a second, and after fighting an internal war in her head for a few seconds, the voice of reason finally came up victorious. "There's something you don't know… something about my father."

"What about him?" asked Cody, whose curious nature made him eager for some interesting gossip or juicy information.

Lou did not talk straightaway. It was certain that as soon as she revealed her secret, all hell would break loose. Actually, that did not really matter. What she really cared about was Kid's welfare, so anything else was unimportant. The difficult part was to find a way to let the cat out of the bag. "Uh… that gunrunner you were after…" Lou finally started.

"Mr. X?" Buck asked.

Louise nodded, and before she could continue, Noah added, "What does Mr. X have to do with your father?"

"You can't mean that your father is Mr. X!" Cody quipped with a crooked grin.

At Cody's words Louise kept quiet with a very awkward kind of look, which answered the question in an obvious way. "But… but that's impossible!" Cody exclaimed straightaway.

"Is it?" Louise asked calmly. "How come?"

"Because… because… because…" Cody tried, but as he realized he did not have a coherent answer, he just said, "We all know what kind of man Mr. X is and that's not your pa."

"Cody," Jimmy cut in, "the truth is that nobody knows a thing about that man."

"Louise, do you really mean it? Is that true?" Teaspoon asked, not sure what to make of this new piece of information. "This is somethin' very serious, and you know, you don't need to resort to that kind of … ruse to get to him. We're gonna do everythin' we can to protect you."

Teaspoon's words did not sit well with Lou. Giving away her father's real identity had been hard to say the least, and it felt too humiliating to realize her honesty was put in doubt. "I ain't lying!" she exclaimed angrily, thumping her fist onto the table. "I've lived with him my whole life, so I have a pretty clear idea what I'm talking about!"

"John's Mr. X…" Rachel breathed in obvious shock.

Louise calmed down and turned her eyes to the station mistress. "The… the day you had dinner at our place," Lou said, momentarily shifting her eyes to her husband, who looked more solemn than ever. "At some point you started talking about your plans to catch Mr. X. You'd found out Red Peters' whereabouts and planned to go after and question him. My father learned all that from your very lips, and I bet he arranged to have Red taken care of. That's his usual line of action."

After she finished her explanation, no one spoke as every single occupant in the bunkhouse tried to digest Louise's huge revelation, but then to her chagrin, Buck voiced what she knew would inevitably come into the open. "So you're Mrs. McCloud then."

Lou shook her head. "Mrs. McCloud was my mother. McCloud was her maiden name, and she started using it again when we once fled from my father." Louise paused to catch her breath and steady her nerves before she continued, "But if what you're asking me is if I'm the one who sent the letters. Yes, it was me. I can't say I did it for selfless reasons. I just wanted to protect my family… and myself."

"But your family is dead," Noah pointed out.

"Yes… but they deserve to be left alone. The fact that we're related to 'him' doesn't give anybody the right to poke their noses into my family's matters. Besides, for your information one never knows what my father can actually do if he feels cornered. In a way, your ignorance was a safeguard… but well, now we are all in danger anyway."

"Louise, do you realize we'll have to pass this information on to Colonel Adams?" Teaspoon remarked.

"Yes, I know," Lou sighed. "I'm ready to do whatever it takes to keep Kid… us safe. I'm… I'm just afraid nobody can do anything. If my father sets his mind on something, nobody and nothing will stop him."

Louise sighed again, and as the room remained in silence, she turned her eyes to her husband. He was glancing ahead of him, not really focusing on anything or anybody, just his faraway eyes wandering off, and also noticing his set jaw and tense lips, Lou could tell he was sore at her. The reason was obvious. He must have felt betrayed because in a way it was true she had lied and used him. Lou was ready to admit she had not acted right, and he had every right to be angry. Yet, that did not mean his behavior did not upset her. Kid was sitting right next to her, but in a sense he seemed to be miles away, and she felt unable to reach for him. Why hadn't she spoken before? It would surely have been better if she had confessed everything to him before revealing the whole thing to Teaspoon and the others. There had been plenty of time to do so, but she had clammed up for her stupid fears. Now it was too late to undo her mistakes, and as loneliness engulfed her, she felt a strong urge to crumble down and let all her miseries into the open.


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 58**

The ride from the way station to their home was awkward and silent. Kid had not said a single word since Louise had revealed that her father was actually the long-sought Mr. X. Now sitting next to her husband on the buckboard that Rachel had lent them, Lou kept sending sideways looks in his direction, but he kept his cold eyes on the road ahead. Louise did not know how to close the gigantic gap that had obviously opened between them. It was her fault, she knew as much, so it was her duty to try to mend what she had spoiled. She had to do something… anything. "Kid, are you all right?" Lou finally dared to ask.

"Just fine," he replied curtly.

"I know you're angry with me, and I can't blame you," Lou continued, her big eyes chorusing her words, but Kid did not even bother to turn to look at her. "I'm really sorry, but I never meant to hurt you. I was… I was in a very difficult position…. For the first time in years I felt safe, and I couldn't risk losing that. Even so, I tried to help the only way I could." Kid kept quiet during her whole tirade, just looking ahead, and frustrated, Lou asked in a slightly loud tone, "Aren't you gonna say something?"

"There's nothing to say," Kid replied in a dead serious tone.

"Fine then!" she fumed, folding her arms and slouching on the wagon seat. Now it was her turn to get angry. His lack of response managed to inflame her fury. How could he be so pig-headed? Why wouldn't he even listen to her? She had admitted her blame and regret. Wasn't that enough? What on earth did he expect? Was she supposed to shoot herself to make him understand for once and all that she was really sorry?

The rest of the ride to their homestead was not very different. Complete, uncomfortable silence had settled between the couple, and neither did anything to break it. Yet, once they reached the place, unable to forget his ingrained gentlemanlike upbringing, Kid offered to help Louise off the wagon. Yet, Louise swatted his hand away and jumped off the carriage unassisted. Running to the back of the wagon, Louise took her carpet bag and stomped towards the house without a single back look.

Kid did not follow, and decided to unhitch the wagon and see to the horse instead. After the long ride from St. Joseph, he had left Katy and the horse he had got for Lou at the station, and borrowed a buckboard and a horse. Tomorrow he would take them back to the station when he drove Lou to town. Teaspoon expected Colonel Adams to show up, and as soon as the officer learned about Lou's revelation, he would want to talk to her. Even though Kid could understand his wife's reasons for secrecy to a degree, he could not help but feel irritated. He felt hurt and disappointed. Why hadn't she talked to him first? Hadn't he proved to her sufficiently she could trust him? How many more secrets did she keep from him?

Deep in his mental ramblings, Kid did not realize how long he had been in the stables until he emerged to the open world. The blue sky that had hovered over his head had turned into a pitch-black dome, and the windows in his house reflected the light from inside. Unsure how he would deal with Lou, Kid stalked towards their place with mixed-up feelings. It was true that after being alone at the stables all this time, Kid felt his anger crumble down. He was not so angry anymore. Yet, he was not in the mood to have the conversation he knew was coming. All of a sudden, he felt very tired and his whole body complained after the stressful last days they had.

As he slipped into the house, the aroma of Lou's cooking welcomed him. So he shuffled towards the kitchen, and he spotted his wife standing before the stove and energetically stirring the contents of a saucepan. Unbeknown to her, Kid kept watching her wiry figure for a couple of minutes, and when Louise turned to pick up a plate from the table behind her, she caught him red-handed. Kid blushed and cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Uh… I… I'm turning in… I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open." Lou did not say a word and just stared at him in stunned silence. "Good night, Lou."

Louise remained quiet, and with a polite nod, Kid turned around and scuffed away. It was true. He was exhausted, and deep sadness drowned him overwhelmingly. It was so odd. Just yesterday, despite the problems, the fears, and the threats, Kid had felt on top of the world, blissful beyond measure, but he did not know how or when, things had changed, and he hated to feel this way. Hopefully, when he had slept the night away, things would look better and clearer. That was all he needed, a good night of rest. Without being aware of his own motions, his steps led him to the bedroom, not the one he had thought he would share with Lou tonight, but the one that had been his private abode for the last ten months. His boots and clothes were quickly discarded, and as soon as his body touched the bed, his senses left him and he fell into a deep, soul-mending, long slumber.

* * *

A sudden, tremendous clatter made Kid wake up with a startled jerk. It was dark, and his blurry eyes shot to the door, which was wide open. In the dim light coming from some unknown source outside he could make out Lou's figure standing at the threshold with an imposing stance. Before Kid was able to figure out what was going on, Lou's voice resounded loud and clear. "Look, Mister! I'm so tired… so dead tired of everything that my head is about to burst into a million pieces! I'm putting my foot down. I'm not taking any more bullshit from men, and that includes you! I already apologized, and I'm ready to apologize a hundred times more, but I'm not sure what you expect me to do! All right, I blundered it! I'm not perfect, far from it, but if you don't think you can accept that, the ball is on your roof. Take those damn divorce papers to the lawyer, and let's finish this forever. My heart can't take anymore!"

Before Kid could react to her loud, passionate speech, Louise swirled around and dashed away as suddenly and briskly as she had first made her presence known. For a few seconds Kid remained sitting on the bed, trying to make head or tail of what had just taken place. His lethargic senses gradually came back to him, and as memories of yesterday finally hit him, his body reacted simultaneously.

Once out of bed, the Southerner wandered out of his bedroom. There was faint light coming from downstairs, but other than that, the house was in complete darkness. As he made it to the ground floor, the grandfather clock in the living room clicked close to two o'clock in the morning. Without stopping, Kid crossed the length of the living room to the kitchen where he found his wife scrubbing furiously the surface of the stove. "Lou…" he called softly and as she did not even turn her head, he dared to take one more step. From a closer angle he could see fat tears trickling down her cheeks and his heart almost broke, realizing that he was to blame for her pain. "Oh Lou…" he called again in a grimmer voice this time.

At his call Lou lifted her angry, puffy eyes to him, and wiping her tears roughly with the back of her sleeve, she said, "Don't even think I'm crying for you because I'm not! I'm just frustrated with this damn stove!"

Not wanting to upset her any more, he remained calm. "I understand."

His condescending tone felt like a provocation, and her already sensitive mood was challenged by his serene disposition. "I once swore I'd never cry for a man again… ever, and you're no different."

Kid nodded morosely. "Lou, I'm sorry."

"What's done is done," she stubbornly said without stopping her frantic scrubbing. "And I told you… I'm fine."

"Yes, fine," Kid replied sarcastically. "That's why you're cleaning the kitchen at this ungodly time of the night… and then you suddenly start talking about divorce!" Louise did not reply and kept scouring the stove relentlessly, which managed to finally get on Kid's nerves. "Will you please look at me?" he exclaimed.

Kid dared to reach for her hands and snatched the scourer from her. The action made Lou lift her gaze and glare in his direction. The irritation in her eyes did not deter Kid, though, and his hands came to cup her face gently. "Please let's talk. I know I've behaved like a jackass… I'm not really angry with you… maybe just disappointed because it hurts to realize your wife doesn't trust you."

"But I do trust you. I… I didn't tell you about my father because… because I was afraid I might be putting you in danger. I swear it's the truth. I knew that if I told you, you couldn't keep quiet about it and would report him to Teaspoon. I was so scared when you were shot, and I didn't want anything else to happen to you."

"You were worried about me?" Kid asked, his mouth shaping into a small, crooked grin.

"Of course I was… I am," she corrected.

His grin became a wide smile, and without a single moment's thought his lips came to caress hers in a soft kiss. Louise responded to his loving ministrations immediately, hooking her arms around his neck and bringing him closer. At that moment everything else vanished as if by magic. Just those few hours they had been at odds had felt like an eternity, and they turned to each other like two thirsty drifters that had been wandering in the desert for days. The threat hanging over their heads made every minute special, and since nobody could foretell what tomorrow would bring, every moment was doubly unique.

Without pausing for a second, Kid managed to lift her from the floor and slide his right arm under her legs. Among kisses he managed to carry her up the stairs and into the bedroom they should have shared as a married couple for all these months. As Kid gently laid Louise on the bed, she directed her hungry eyes to him, and whispered, "I missed you." Her soft words made him smile, just before he sank onto the bed and joined his wife in what promised to be a passion-filled night.

* * *

"Lou, can I ask you something?" Kid broke the silence that had settled after they had made love. They remained in each other's arms, relishing each other's presence and warmth. With a twist of her head Lou granted him permission, and Kid continued, "I was thinking about what you said before and started to wonder. Who was the man who shot me?"

"I don't know… one of my father's thugs, I guess."

"Is your father as powerful as people say then?" Kid asked again.

"As far as I know, I'd say he is," Lou replied, and as the topic obviously made her uncomfortable, she squeezed Kid's hands in hers a bit too tightly. "I don't know everything about his so-called business, just what I happened to learn randomly. I'm a girl, and of course I couldn't be allowed to get involved. Not that I wanted, but still…. I don't know. I hated it when he treated me like some useless piece of junk. However, I'm smarter than he thinks I am, and I know way more about his dark dealings than he imagines."

"I've never doubted you're a very intelligent woman," Kid replied softly, stroking her right arm with gentle motions.

"To be totally honest, he wasn't always this bad," Louise continued in a sad, little voice. "Or at least he managed to disguise his real personality quite well for a while. When my ma married him, she had no idea what he really did for a living. We were a harmonious, happy family. Before Jeremiah was born, my father used to fuss over me and spoil me rotten. I was barely five at the time, but I still remember the sensation of feeling special and well-cared-of. Yet, things changed when my brother was born. My mother had already found out what my father's real occupation was. I ain't sure how she managed to endure the situation for so many years, but she was too in love with my father. I can tell that fleeing from him took a lot of guts, but it was also the worst sin she could commit. When he took us back after that year away, living with him became totally hellish, especially for me. Pa knew he could get back at my mother through me, and he did… never thinking I was also his daughter."

"I… I'm really sorry," Kid said, drawing her closer to him. They stayed quiet for a while, and after those silent moments, Kid asked, "Are you really sure you want to talk to Colonel Adams?"

"I… I dunno," Lou admitted. "I can't refuse to do so, can I?"

"If you don't feel confident enough, we can always come up with some excuse. Nobody can force you to do something you don't want to. After all, he's your father and your reluctance is understandable."

"I know people have died because of him, but so far I felt unable to speak up. Things are different now. I know he was serious when he threatened you. I'd do whatever it takes to protect you."

"I'm also worried about you. I'm afraid of what he and that man might do to you."

"Whatever is bound to happen will happen anyway," Lou replied matter-of-factly. "I already told you. We're doomed since the moment we decided to go against my father. However, we have a card he doesn't expect at all. He thinks he has me in his power completely, and would never believe I have the guts to confess who he is."

Kid nodded slowly. His hand reached for hers, and locking eyes with his wife's he said, "Lou, I can't know what will happen to us, but I swear to God I'll fight with every inch of energy in my body to defend you and our happiness."

"I know," Louise whispered, snuggling up closer to him and resting her head against his naked chest. If only this very moment could be stretched for as long as they existed… Nobody knew what the future held for them, but at least they had tonight, and the memories would last forever no matter what Boggs or Wicks would do. No one would ever snatch that from them. For the first time she was experiencing the joys of true love, and that would remain with her forever and ever.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 59**

Just as they had promised Teaspoon, Kid and Lou drove to town the following morning. There was an eerie kind of feeling in the air when they woke up, and as they approached Rock Creek, the sensation became even more tangible. Lou's stomach was in knots from the apprehension and pressure she was under, and before leaving home, she had even emptied her stomach after a very frugal breakfast. Driving the wagon next to her, Kid stole a sideways look, and when he noticed the pallor of her face, he asked, "Are you all right, Lou?"

Louise shook her head. "No, I'm not."

"Just say the word, and I'll pull the reins and drive in the opposite direction," Kid stated firmly. "I already told you yesterday. Nobody can make you do something you don't want to."

Louise sighed, and hooking her arm around her husband's, she rested her head on his shoulder. "What frustrates me in this situation is that I've never really had a say in my life. I never asked to be born, or have a criminal for a father. It ain't my fault I grew up in the family I did, but I get the feeling that whatever I do, I'm in disgrace."

"I understand how you feel. You know we can't choose the family we are born to. My father wasn't an angel either."

"Yeah…" Louise replied vaguely as her index finger kept toying with a loose button on the front of his shirt. "Sometimes… sometimes I wish I'd never been born… or died along my siblings."

All of a sudden, Kid pulled the reins strongly, halting the horse short. The unexpected stop startled Louise, who lifted her head to look at him with a frown. Kid swirled in the seat, and resting his gloved hands on her slender shoulders, he said, "Lou, please, don't say that."

Louise looked into his clearly hurt eyes, and whispered, "It's just the way I sometimes feel. Things would be much better if I didn't exist."

"Not for me."

"Wouldn't they?" Lou replied in a skeptical tone. "If it weren't for me, you'd surely be living a happy, easy life. You'd probably be married to a nice, problem-free girl; there wouldn't be deadly threats dangling over your head, and, like you once thought, your parents would even be alive."

Her words disturbed him so much that his whole body shook on imagining her total absence from his life. The mere notion made him steel his hold onto her shoulders as he felt like crying. "Please, Lou, don't ever say that again," he repeated with obvious anguish. "I've never been as happy as when I am with you. We belong with each other. I do believe that the moment we were born, God Himself decided we were meant to be together."

His comment softened her fears and she even managed to crack a little smile. "Do you really believe that?"

Kid nodded energetically. "The world would be a very sad place without you in it, and my life wouldn't be worth much." She responded by softly caressing his right cheek, and Kid continued, "Lou, I know you're anxious. I'm nervous too, but you can't blame yourself. What's happening is your father's doing, nobody else's."

"I know."

"It's your call, Lou. We can go back home now, or face the music. It's your decision."

Lou kept thoughtful for a while, and then she finally said, "Let's do this once and for all, and hope it's for the best."

* * *

It was clear from the start that Colonel Adams had a chip on his shoulder about the unexpected new information Lou had hidden all this time. He looked the young woman up and down as he spoke, his voice oozing evident contempt. "You ready to aid us in tracking down the so-called Mr. X?"

"I'll try my best," she said in a whisper while sinking down on a chair that Teaspoon offered her. Kid stood by her side, the Colonel remained on his feet, his imposing figure hovering threateningly over Lou's tiny frame. Only Teaspoon sat at his desk, ready to step in if things got out of control. Apart from them, there was another soldier, stiffly standing by the door as if he was keeping guard.

"I've been informed that you claim to be the daughter of the man we are after," Colonel Adams said as he paced up and down before Lou with his arms joined behind his back.

"Uh… yes, that's right."

"May I know why it took you so long to turn to the law?" the officer kept questioning in the same tense tone.

Louise lowered her eyes. "That… that's personal."

"I beg to differ, Ma'am," the colonel contradicted, giving her a withering look. "There's nothing personal in making justice."

"I… I…"

"What is it? Stop mumbling and say things loud and clear!"

Kid, who had kept quiet, could not hold his tongue any longer on seeing his wife being harassed. "What the hell do you think you're doing by treating my wife as if she were a common criminal!" he barked in obvious irritation. "The reason why she kept the information is beside the point."

Without turning a hair, Colonel Adams shifted his eyes to Teaspoon. "Marshal, if your rider doesn't stay away from this, I'll have to take measures. Keeping information about a long-sought outlaw is a criminal offence, so he might as well share one of these cells with his other half."

The man's words naturally triggered logical, strong reactions, and a cacophony of voices ensued. Lou's eyes almost popped out of their sockets on hearing the army officer, and she exclaimed, "My husband knew nothing till yesterday!"

Likewise Kid pointed a menacing finger at the colonel while roaring angrily, "How dare you? We're just trying to help. You can't trample over us as if we were…!"

Kid's furious voice was interrupted by a string of loud thumps. Teaspoon was knocking the butt of his gun on his rickety desk and when everybody was in silence, the marshal rose to his feet and walked up to the officer. "Look, Adams. I ain't sure what you're tryin' to do, but you're doin' a pretty poor job. Louise here is ready to help us catch the man your army's been tryin' to track down for years. Pesterin' her with threats and what won't take you very far! If that's the way you treat your men, it ain't my concern, but I won't let ya tromp over this couple in such a vicious way!"

Colonel Adams looked Teaspoon up and down with obvious hostility, but despite himself, he muttered between clenched teeth, "You're right. Please, Ma'am, accept my apologies. Shall we start again?"

Lou nodded reluctantly, flashing her irate eyes, as she sat down again. Kid remained on his feet next to her, watching the colonel intently like a hawk, ready to jump at his throat if the man tried his foul antics again.

"Very well," Colonel Adams continued, clapping his hands in the air. "What can you tell us about your father's whereabouts?"

Lou shifted her eyes to Kid momentarily before speaking up. "St. Joseph."

"Where exactly in St. Joseph?"

"A place called Eagle Canyon, about 15 miles from the city. Our … the house is in the middle on an ample yard, surrounded by a high wooden palisade like a rampart. Beyond it dozens of tents are scattered in the area, a shelter to renegades and criminals. My father offers them a getaway from justice in exchange for protection. The compound is concealed by a thick circle of mountains. Almost nobody knows about the place, and is nearly impossible to reach it. My father also has a property in town. When I and my late siblings were small, we used to live there. That second house is just a disguise to decorate his fake identity. Everybody in St. Joseph would swear he's an honest, outstanding citizen. He even owns a saw mill to prove where his money comes from."

"How would one get to the compound?" asked Colonel Adams.

"Riding into the forest. Around half the way two big fir trees mark the beginning of a patch that will lead you straight to Eagle Canyon. A couple of men always keep guard on the lookout for any trespassers, and there are more men along the path."

"Seems impossible to break through," Teaspoon remarked.

Lou shrugged her shoulders. "That's the main idea, I guess," she muttered. "My father doesn't spend all his time there, though. He's often away for weeks, even months."

"Where?"

"I don't know," Lou replied to the colonel's question. "He doesn't talk to me about his matters. If I know something it's just because I have eyes and ears."

Colonel Adams then turned to the only other soldier in the jailhouse. "Hand me the picture, Harris."

The corporal gave him a piece of paper, which Adams placed before Lou. "Marshal Hunter gave us a description of your father before you came in. Can you confirm this is him?"

"He looks younger here, but yeah, that's pretty much him," Lou answered, and as she came to realize what the man was implying, she panicked. Taking the paper in her hands, she asked in a strained voice, "Do you actually intend to send this out?"

"We'll have these delivered to the authorities in the area."

"But… but… but if you do that, he'll know… he'll know!" Lou exclaimed with sheer anguish, and dropping the paper, she reached to hold Kid's hand instinctively.

"And you'll put us in even greater danger," Kid stated, voicing what his wife was not saying.

"Adams," Teaspoon called, breaking the confrontation he felt brewing. "We now got important knowledge about Mr. X… in other words, about Mr. John Boggs. Wouldn't it be more sensible not to blab about the matter just yet, and hold this valuable information back? Surprise can be a powerful weapon in itself, don't ya think?"

The colonel kept quiet, carefully considering the marshal's words. "You have a point there," he finally admitted.

"We need another course of action."

The officer nodded and remained thoughtful, pacing up and down the length of the jailhouse. "I reckon," he finally spoke up, rubbing the crevice between his eyes as if that way he could prevent the headache he knew was coming, "we need a strong attack plan."

"You mean trying to gain access to Eagle Canyon?" Kid asked with evident surprise.

"That's right."

"I know how eager you are to catch this man, but what you suggest is more than suicidal," Teaspoon protested. "You heard Louise. There are too many watchdogs ready to shoot and ask later. I won't risk my men in so reckless a venture."

"I don't mean we barge into the place blindly. We need a carefully-designed plan to reduce the risks to the minimum." He paused to re-order his growing thoughts, and then he addressed Louise. "Suppose you intended to visit your father, none of the men keeping watch would stop you, would they?"

"No, they wouldn't."

Before the officer could speak another word, Kid broke in. "Are you out of your mind? Don't even think about it! That's just crazy, and I won't let you use my wife that way!"

"It could be a sound plan," Colonel Adams insisted. "She won't even need to do it alone. You two could try to go past that barrier on the excuse you want to smooth things with Boggs after the tense situation you've told me you are under. You'll just be the leading force… we'll be right behind you."

Kid shook his head. "It's too dangerous," he muttered in a softer tone.

"I'm not so sure myself," Louise piped up. "It's one thing to disclose all this hush-hush business, but acting against him is something totally different. Regardless of who he is or what he's done, he's still my father."

"I thought you said you were ready to do anything to protect yourself and your husband," the uniformed man insisted, trying to pull the right strings to his cause.

"Lou, don't let anybody talk you into doing something you don't want to do."

"I'm with Kid in this, honey," Teaspoon added.

Yet, Colonel Adams would not give in so easily. "The only thing you can do to ensure your safety is put an end to your father's actions." As Lou still looked skeptical, he continued, "He's a cold-blooded murder… how many more people does he have to kill so that you convince yourself that something needs to be done? Remember, your husband's name is on his black list."

With her elbows on the table, Lou pressed her eyes with the heels of her palms, and finally said, "All right… all right… I'll do it." As she uncovered her eyes, she found three faces looking down at her. Colonel Adams was smiling in obvious satisfaction while Kid and Teaspoon stared at her with concern. "Since I guess this is all you require from me, I'll make myself scarce so that you can discuss your very important plans," she said in a voice oozing sarcasm. As she finally made her way out, she slammed the glass door shut, the sound reverberating in the whole place with an eerie, strange boom.


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 60**

"Scared?"

Louise turned her eyes to Kid, who held the reins of the buckboard they were travelling in. Over a week had slipped by since the tense questioning at the jailhouse and today Colonel Adams' plan came into fruition.

The couple had arrived in St. Joseph and spent the night at the hotel. The others, including a few soldiers led by Adams, were also in town, but trying not to raise any suspicions. Early in the morning of the following day Kid and Lou had set off for Eagle Canyon, and as they neared their objective, Lou felt odder and odder. This was something she was not comfortable with. She even wished something unexpected came up and she didn't have to go through this. There was no doubt she did not love her father the way she was supposed to love him. There was a time she had really loved him, but her feelings had gradually died as her father had acted more like a ruthless tyrant than a parent. However, despite her lack of affection, Louise still felt uneasy going against him so blatantly.

"Rather nervous," Lou admitted in a soft voice. "We're almost there."

"Are you having second thoughts about this whole thing?" Kid asked again.

"It wasn't my decision to be part of this," Lou stated, but sensing what Kid was about to say, she added, "But I know it has to be done."

Suddenly, a voice resounded behind her. "Lou, don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen. We're here to protect you."

Both Kid and Lou slightly turned their heads to see a couple of heads poking out of the tarpaulin that covered the back of the wagon. "Will you two please stay put?" Kid hissed. "You're gonna blow the plan if you keep sticking your heads out!"

"I can hardly breathe," Cody protested in a soft, nagging voice. "Jimmy's hogging all my breathing space, and the stench here is unbearable."

"That must be your own odor," Jimmy retorted in obvious irritation. "Watch your mouth, Cody. My finger is itching to pull my trigger and stop all your six senses for once and all!"

"Will you both shut up?" Kid repeated in a more categorical way. "You're gonna get us all killed if you don't stop your stupid bickering!"

The Southerner's words managed to silence the two riders hidden in the back of the wagon. The chirps of the birds and the sounds of nature became once again their only sonorous companion. Louise turned her eyes to her husband to thank him for restoring the peace she needed, and was surprised to find his amused grin lighting his features. "What's so funny?" she asked with a frown.

Kid discreetly leaned his head to her so that he could whisper in her ear. "I just remembered something I was told when I hired the buckboard?"

"What thing?"

"The stable hand told me that this wagon had recently been used to carry manure, but swore he had cleaned it thoroughly. I guess he couldn't get rid of the smell completely."

Lou's eyes widened as it dawned on her what Kid was saying. Her hand flew to her mouth, and despite the circumstances, she started giggling. "Oh my!"

Kid joined her mirth, and as they kept advancing into the forest, some of their tension loosened up. To any casual observer they looked just like any normal couple enjoying a leisurely drive on a warm spring morning. Yet, as they approached their destination, their moods sobered, especially when Lou announced, "This is it."

Kid inhaled deeply as he followed the direction she was pointing at and whispered under his breath, "Get ready, boys." As discreetly as possible he raised two fingers above his shoulder in a clear sign. Buck was following them closely, and would act in the rearguard. Acting together against the possible obstacles, they were likely to succeed in opening the path for the others.

Kid steered the horse in the direction Lou pointed out to. As soon as they were in the sinuous path, an authoritative voice called their attention and Kid stopped the wagon. Glancing up, the Southerner noticed a couple of fierce-looking men aiming two similar shotguns at the couple.

"Carl, it's me, Louise, and this is my husband. We're here to see my father."

At Lou's words the men relaxed and put down their weapons. "Excuse me, Miss," one of them said, tipping his had politely, "We hadn't recognized you, and…" The sentence died on his lips, and a moan escaped instead as an arrow hit him straight in his heart. Before his partner could react a second arrow whizzed past above Kid and speared the man's neck. As both men lay dead on the ground, Lou turned her head in disgust and spotted Buck on a crag, armed with a bow and a quiver full of arrows. Noticing Lou's glance on him, he greeted her with a nod and a crooked smile.

"Well done, Buck," Jimmy whispered, verbalizing what the others were thinking about.

Kid did not resume his driving until he was sure Buck had time to move along Because of the many times Louise had taken this path, including the few occasions she had tried to escape from her father's clutches, she knew it like the back of her hand and could tell where exactly the guards were stationed. They repeated the same procedure several times as they found more men on their way. With an extraordinary aim, Buck shot down Boggs' thugs and before continuing, his friends made sure the guards were dead. Otherwise, they tied and gagged them securely so that they could not raise the alarm and frustrate their plans.

Before they reached the end of the path, they stopped the wagon and the two riders came out from their hideout in the back of the buckboard. Jimmy waved in the direction Buck was likely to be concealed, and at once the Indian shot a flaming arrow in the opposite direction. That would be the hands-up signal fro Teaspoon and Colonel Adams. The group did not have to wait too long and they soon heard the sound of hooves coming closer.

Lou was surprised to see the number of men riding with Colonel Adams. Yesterday when the officer gave them the last instructions, there were just a handful of soldiers, but it was clear that Adams had requested more reinforcements. The notion that as soon as they got into action, a massacre was likely to ensue made Louise queasy and even more nervous.

"Kid, stay behind with your wife," Teaspoon said.

"Your job's done," Adams added. "So you can drive back to Saint Joseph safe and sound."

Before the couple could say a word, the officer gave the order to ride on, and the numerous group of riders was instantly gone. Lou kept staring at the vague cloud of dust rising in the air, evidence of the men riding ahead. She did not like the way she had just been brushed aside, and her face was flushed with indignation. Turning her lively eyes to her calm-looking husband, she exclaimed, "They just can't leave and boss us around like that! It ain't fair!"

Kid looked at her with obvious surprise as he did not expect this reaction at all. "Lou, I ain't gonna leave you here alone."

"I don't want you to leave me here!" Louise retorted a bit too loudly. She was already annoyed and his obtuseness was now getting on her nerves. "I want both of us to go all the way to the end! We brought them here… they can't just send us home now!"

"Wh… what? Lou, don't you realize what's bound to take place there? As soon as Colonel Adams orders to open fire, it will become a pitched battle. I just can't risk something happening to you."

His words managed to soothe Louise. "That's very sweet, Kid," she said, caressing his clean-shaved cheek. "But this is '_my'_ business. I have every right to see what happens to my father." Kid still looked hesitant, and Lou added, "I don't plan to get in the middle of crossfire, and I can't make you come along if you don't want. I just know I need to be present."

Kid sighed, well aware that no matter what, his wife would not stay put. In a way, she was right. She deserved to know what happened to her father. "All right, all right. But first promise me you'll stick by me all the time."

Lou's mouth curved in a victorious smile and in an impulse she threw herself to him, hugging him quickly. "Kid, you know, I'd be crazy if I'd wander away from you."

They heard the first shots when they were closer to Eagle Canyon. Kid stopped the wagon and the couple covered the last stretch on foot. From behind a big rock they had a clear sight of the place and the shootout taking place. Lou then mentally admitted Kid had been right. This was a real massacre. There were handfuls of men both in uniform and civil clothes lying dead in pools of blood all over the place. The sound of bullets and explosions was totally deafening, and flames reducing to ashes the tents and other timber structures roared furiously around the area.

Louise strained her eyes to locate her friends, and mouthed a silent thankful prayer as she finally managed to spot them one by one. Teaspoon was crouched behind a line of bushes, firing his gun incessantly. Noah was on his stomach, creeping his way to the human barrier the target men had formed. Buck continued shooting flaming arrows from the top of the canyon, and Cody and Jimmy were running closer to the thick palisade surrounding the house that was not visible from her position, but Lou knew was there.

Louise fixed her eyes on Jimmy as the rider stealthily dropped a stick of dynamite before the wooden palisade. A few seconds later, the protective belt of posts was blown up with a huge explosion, and immediately afterwards Jimmy and Cody ran into the thick smoke that was the only separating barrier to the house.

"Kid, look!" Lou exclaimed, tugging at his shirt sleeve to call her husband's attention. "See that big hole on the palisade? That's our chance to go inside!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses!" Kid replied, looking at her as if she had just gone and lost her mind. "We won't do such a thing! It's too dangerous!"

"You keep saying that," Lou remarked sarcastically with a scowl. "Colonel Adams and Teaspoon have everything under control. Even so, I don't mean we just rush blindly across that plain. I just happen to know a safer way."

Kid frowned questioningly, but the only answer he got was a strong yank at his arm, which made him stumble forward in the direction his wife intended. Soon he was running after Louise, who was heading away from the canyon and back into the forest. This time she took a hidden path which seemed to lead nowhere. Kid's guess was right as at the end of the path a rough, rocky wall rose well above their heads blocking their way. Yet, that did not prevent Louise from continuing. Stopping briefly to hitch up her skirt above her knees and knot the material aside, she nimbly started clambering up the mountainous wall. "Lou! Wait!" Kid called urgently.

Louise was already a few feet above his head and from this position she ceased her movements to look down at him. "Kid, trust me. I know what I'm doing. Just follow me. We'll get to the entrance in just a few moves."

Kid was not given another option other than do as his wife had said. Climbing the wall was not as hard as it looked. There were a series of dents all over the wall, conveniently embedded into the rock to ease climbing. It seemed as if someone had bothered to carve the dents into the wall on purpose.

At half way Lou crept into a narrow opening and as Kid managed to get his sturdier body through the scarcely wide opening, he found himself inside a dark cave with just a few rays of light sneaking through the small entrance. Louise instantly walked towards a corner where she crouched and took something Kid could not see. To his surprise, she suddenly was holding a burning match and lit a lamp Kid had not noticed before. "Whenever there was some kind of trouble, my father would get us out of the house this way. I remember one time we had to stay in this cave for almost a week. Some of my father's men betrayed him and tried to take over the property. My mother couldn't risk venturing out of here with us. So we survived with just the little food my mother had grabbed before being rushed out of the house." Lou sighed as she felt overwhelmed by the memories. "This was also the way I used in my failed attempts to run away."

Kid kept thoughtful and said, "Lou, your father might try to make his escape through here if he feels cornered."

"Yes… probably."

At her confirmation, Kid drew his gun and squeezed the butt tightly as his head fought an internal war given the possibility of coming face to face with Lou's father. There was a rope ladder attached to the farthest extreme of the cave, and while holding the lamp with one hand, Louise started to go up the rungs with as much agility as if she could make use of both her hands. "I can clearly see you've done this before," Kid said behind her, and when she did not respond, the Southerner asked, "How come you didn't tell Teaspoon about this shortcut?"

"It wouldn't have been safe to come this way. The house is like a castle's dungeon. Once you're in, it's impossible to find a safe exit. It would've been suicidal to face my father's army of hired men. Now that the boys have broken through, I imagine we're fine."

On reaching the top, they had to crawl along for a good few yards as the rock ceiling was too low. It was cold and damp inside the cave, and apart from the dim light from the lamp Lou was carrying, everything was pitch dark. The narrow passage widened its height and they were able to cover the last few feet in an almost upright position. At the end of the corridor a huge opening seemed to have been cut out in the rock, but something was blocking it. "Give me a hand here," Lou said as she left the lamp on the ground.

Kid followed his wife's lead, they joined their efforts to push whatever was blocking their way, which the Southerner realized was some kind of furniture. With a last strong shove, they managed to move the obstacle and a blinding flash of light shot from the other side into the cave. Kid and Lou grabbed their guns and shared a look before daring to slip inside. The clicking sound of revolvers being cocked welcomed them, and the couple instantly drew their own six-shooters. The four guns pointing at the couple's faces lowered and the rough voice of Teaspoon exclaimed, "What on earth are you two doin' here? Didn't I tell ya to stay put?"

"Well…" Kid started vaguely, sheathing his gun, but he did not have the chance to make up a plausible excuse since his wife spoke first.

"I brought you here and you can't just kick me out of this matter because it's my business!"

"We haven't found your father, Lou," Jimmy explained in a calm voice. "Apart from the servants, the house is empty."

"Where do you reckon he might be?" Colonel Adams asked.

"I told you. I have no idea. He often stays away, but I've never known where he goes," Lou said indifferently and then without another word, she started heading for the staircase at the end of the spacious living-room where they stood.

"Where are you going?" asked Adams, but Louise did not even try to answer. She kept walking on, and made her way up the carpeted staircase and down the corridor on the first floor. Heavy steps resounded behind her, and without turning her head, she knew they belonged to Kid. Louise stopped before a door, and after just a second's pause she slipped inside.

Kid stood at the threshold of the door through which Lou had just disappeared, and scanned his eyes around. It was a dainty, cute bedroom. Two single beds stood side by side with identical flowery quilts that matched the drapes that were hanging at the two luminous windows.

"Theresa and I used to sleep here," Lou said as she knelt down on the wooden floor between the two beds.

"What are you doing?" asked Kid, confused by her actions, as he took a few steps closer.

Before answering his question, Lou gave a few knocks on different points on the wooden surface of the floor, and then with a brisk motion she managed to pull a floorboard loose. "When I left to marry you, I couldn't take everything with me. My father supervised the only carpet bag I packed. I guess he feared I might steal some of his money." Slipping her hand into the hollow left by the floorboard, Louise felt inside the gap until she found her prize. "He was somehow right. I stole something, but not what he imagined." With a smile on her lips, she raised her hand to discover a dusty tin box. After blowing the dust away, she placed it on the floor and pushed the lid open.

Intrigued, Kid crouched next to his wife as Lou took the contents out of the box. There were a few photographs which showed a younger version of Lou, two other children and a woman, who Kid could guess were his wife's late mother and siblings. "I managed to pinch these from him," Louise whispered, staring down at the photos in her hands.

"That's why you were so eager to come in here?"

Lou nodded, placing the photographs back into the tin box and closing its lid. "This is the only thing I have left from them, and I hated it when I had to leave them behind," she whispered, lifting her bright eyes to him. "What's gonna happen to the house, Kid?"

"I imagine the government will take over the property," Kid replied. Lou nodded as she rose to her feet while hugging the tin box tightly against her chest. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "Are you all right?" Kid asked, stroking her back with soft strokes.

"I'm fine."

The sound of soft feet behind them called their attention, and as they shifted their eyes to the door, they saw somebody appear. It was a plump, middle-aged woman whose attire clearly showed she was some kind of housekeeping employee. The woman's honey-colored eyes seesawed between Kid and Lou, and a smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she focused her glance on the young woman. "Louise, my pretty girl…" she exclaimed, opening her outstretched arms in a clear meaning.

Lou ran to the woman and hugged her with evident fondness. "Maria, it's so good to see you!"

"What's happening, Louise?" the woman asked, folding her flabby arms over her ample bosom. "You do know, don't you?"

"The… the army… they want to hunt my father down, and I… I'm helping them."

The woman seemed unaffected by the news. "He's been away a lot lately, especially since Mr. Wicks came back," Maria explained. "Damn him and his soul!"

An involuntary cough snapped the women out of their private conversation, and Lou realized she had forgotten Kid was there. After sharing a brief glimpse with him, she said, "Maria, this is my husband." The woman sent Kid an apparent suspicious glance, and well aware on what that distrustful attitude was grounded, Lou slid an arm around her husband's waist, snuggling closer to him, and said, "He's changed my whole life, Maria. I love him and for the first time in my life I'm completely happy." Kid smiled and thanked her words by placing a tender kiss on top of her head. "Kid, Maria cooked and looked after me and my siblings."

Kid politely stretched his arm to the woman. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ma'am."

Maria, who was now openly smiling, said, "Young man, we don't stand on formalities in my area. Just call me by the name I inherited from my poor mother." The woman kept silent for a second, and her cheerful face sobered and as she looked into Kid's blue eyes intently, she added, "Promise me you'll take care of Louise. Don't ever let Boggs or that beast Wicks lay their hands on her!"

"I swear it on my life," Kid replied, putting all his soul in every word.

Uncomfortable with the exchange between Maria and her husband, Lou decided to step in. "The army will probably close down this place, Maria. What are going to do now?"

"I… I guess I could go to Seneca. My younger sister and her family live there."

Lou nodded, and tilting her head to her husband, she said, "We could drive Maria to Seneca and make sure she gets there safely."

"Sure," Kid replied promptly, and turning to the woman, he added, "It'll be a pleasure, Maria, and you know, I just can't say no to her."

Maria smiled from ear to ear, and patted the young man on the shoulder appreciatively. "I now understand what she sees in you. A clean soul in a man's heart… you know, quite scarce under this damn roof." Kid blushed crimson at the compliment. "Congratulations to the two of you," Maria finally whispered just before walking out and leaving the lucky couple alone.


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 61**

After answering a few more questions and clarifying some other points for Colonel Adams, Louise was allowed to leave the place she had called home for most of her childhood and early youth. Louise was surprised to realize that, despite having experienced terrible moments under this roof, she was also overcome by a pang of sadness when she had to bid her home the last goodbye. The house also stored many sweet memories, irreplaceable instants she had lived with her late mother and young siblings. When her father was not around, the house seemed to bloom, and the fear and silence reigning in the place where the master was in were replaced by laughter and cheerful voices of children. Those memories would remain with Lou for as long as she lived. Nobody could take them from her… ever, even if the house were blasted to shreds.

Kid had retrieved the buckboard and was waiting for her on the porch. Maria was snugly sitting in the wagon seat. As Lou came out, Kid cast a smile and then helped her onto the carriage. This time Lou would drive the wagon while Kid would ride alongside all the way to Seneca. With a sigh and one last look at the house, Louise slapped the reins on the back of the horse, and they started their journey.

After the tension in the last hours, the ride to Seneca was like life-giving rain after a severe drought. Maria was a talkative woman and an incredible source of information and by the time they reached town, Kid had heard every single mischief and memorable anecdote from Lou's childhood. Laughter had been a constant, welcoming companion, and the young married couple allowed themselves to forget about the impending danger that still threatened their happiness. Lou's father and his henchman lurked somewhere, and the army's intervention had not managed to improve the situation.

They reached Seneca by the end of the day. Maria's sister lived on a farm on the outskirts of town, and she received the newcomers with genuine warmth to her already crowded home. The woman and her husband shared their homestead with their lively six children whose ages ranged from six to eighteen. Lou and Kid gladly accepted to stay overnight, and the following day at the crack of dawn the couple hugged Maria goodbye and set off for Rock Creek.

This time the ride was quieter with long reflexive silences broken by just a few casual comments. At the fall of night they stopped and set camp at the foot of a rugged hill, a few feet from which there was a bubbling, clear stream. It was a mild night and the couple enjoyed a quiet dinner from the few provisions they had got in Seneca.

"What are you thinking about?" Lou asked, breaking the silence, as she noticed the faraway look on her husband's eyes.

Kid glanced at her over the fire, and smiled. "I… I was wondering what's gonna happen now."

"Are you scared?" Louise asked, absent-mindedly moving around the food in her plate.

"Scared for you," Kid explained. "You father will surely hear about the army taking over his property and arresting his men. How do you think he's likely to react?"

"He ain't an easy man. I imagine he'll try to get even with those who have double-crossed him… that is, us. It's difficult to know what to expect from him."

Kid scooted over and placed himself next to his wife. Taking her hand in his, he softly kissed it and looked into her eyes. "I just know there'll be better times for us."

"That's what I've told myself all my life, but every single time it turned out to be a lie," Lou replied in a harsh voice.

"Precisely because of that, I do believe things have to be different now. We have both had our share of heartache and tribulations. Life can't be so cruel."

"Why not? That's the way it's been so far. I don't know anything else."

"Lou, please. You can't be so pessimistic. I believe in us, and what we have is stronger than any plots your father might concoct! We have to resist; he won't fight us forever."

"I guess you're right," Louise whispered, squeezing his hand tightly as she reflected that her father would not need a lifetime for his purposes. Just a second would do to crash their love and dreams. Just one second. One very tiny scary second. Nevertheless, Kid was also right. She could not be so negative. "There's another option we haven't discussed."

"What option?"

"We could leave," Louise muttered. "The world's wide. Who says we can't start afresh somewhere else?"

"That's what you really want to do, Lou?" Kid asked surprised. "Do you want to spend the rest of our life constantly fearing that your father might find us?" Lou stared at him wide-eyed and finally shook her head. "Honey, this failed attempt to catch your pa hasn't been in vain. Now the army knows who he is, what he looks like, and they might find some more information in that house which could bring them closer to him."

"If something happened to you, I…"

"Nothing's gonna happen to me," Kid repeated the same words he had uttered over and over again for the last weeks. "You need to believe me… in us."

"I love you… I love you so much," Louise whispered passionately, engaging her arms around his neck and bringing him closer.

"I love you too," Kid confessed, meeting her lips tenderly but at the same time with torrid intensity. The lively game of the flames from the fire fell over the shape of their bodies, the stars twinkled in the sky, and the howling of a lonely wolf sounded in the distance… Nature played its game, life went on, but for some everything had come to a standstill in just one moment, a kiss, a sigh.

* * *

Kid and Lou let go of Morpheus's arms as soon as the first sunrays announced the beginning of a brand new day. Despite their worries, they tried to put them at the back of their minds, and, as they got ready for the day ahead, they playfully flirted and joked like the couple of honeymooners they still felt.

While Kid collected their bedrolls, Lou took it upon herself to make some breakfast. A few minutes later the couple was enjoying some newly-brewed coffee and leftovers from last night.

"I'd say we're gonna have clear weather today," Kid remarked as his eyes scanned the spotless blue sky above them.

"Good! I can't wait to get home and sleep in our bed. I'd hate to spend another day on the trail."

"That won't happen. Trust your husband. Tonight you'll be all warm and cozy in our nest," Kid said with a smile, checking out the sky for the second time. As his eyes lowered, he made out the outline of a man among the trees on the other side of the narrow stream. "Somebody's coming," he said in alarm, reaching out for his gun. He knew he had to be on the lookout for danger. Even though he had assured Lou the night before that they had nothing to fear, he was afraid, not for him, but for her, and he needed to take any precautions to protect his wife.

When the person was closer, the couple realized that it was a woman in men's clothes. A mane of blonde curls hung loose over her slender shoulders and the way she filled her masculine shirt left no doubts about her true gender. The woman led her horse across the stream, and stopped at a close distance from Kid and Lou. "Good morning," the woman greeted them with a warm smile. "My name's Penelope Cooper. Would it be too much trouble if you could share a cup of your lovely-smelling coffee with this poor woman?"

The couple shared a look before the Southerner said, "No trouble at all, Ma'am. We're happy to oblige. Please be our guest. This is my wife Louise and I'm Kid."

Penelope eased from her horse and came to sit on a lonely stump near the couple. Not only did she get to taste a nice cup of coffee but some of the food Kid and Lou were having that morning. The trio kept quiet while they enjoyed their breakfast. Meanwhile, Lou discreetly studied the woman who had become their morning companion out of the blue. She was quite attractive, and even in the men's clothes she was wearing her beauty sparkled. Lou was sure Penelope Cooper was the kind of woman who would make every single man turn their heads to admire her. As soon as the thought entered her mind, Lou's eyes darted to Kid, and a sense of satisfaction and relief seized her when she realized he was not paying attention to the woman and kept focused on his food.

"It's a beautiful morning, ain't it?" Penelope exclaimed, breaking the silence.

Lou turned her attention to the blonde woman. Her casual comment felt like an invitation to explore her curiosity. "May I be so bold as to ask you what a woman is doing in these parts all alone…?" Lou asked, and paused to check the woman's hand, on whose ring finger a wedding band glittered, "… uh… Mrs. Cooper?"

"Please call me Penelope," the woman replied. At Lou's thankful smile Penelope continued, "It's a sinuous and winding road… too complicated to explain, but well, to make a long story short, the conclusion is that my circumstances lead me to Rock Creek. My husband died last month, and after much consideration, I've finally decided to leave the place we shared in our happy marriage and accept my brother's offer to live with him and his wife."

"I'm really sorry for your loss," Kid muttered, instantly grabbing Lou's hand as the terrifying notion of losing his wife crept into his mind frightfully.

"Yes, me too," Penelope sighed. "And I'm sorry George will never get to know his child," she added, placing a hand on her still flat stomach.

The couple shared an anguished look, and Lou said, "We're heading for Rock Creek too. What do you say to traveling together?"

Penelope's mouth curved into a big, brilliant smile, showing her perfect, white teeth. "I'd love that. I've been riding alone for too many days and I'd really welcome the company… that is, if it's not too much trouble."

"No trouble at all," Lou assured her with a smile, sealing their deal.

Minutes later they were ready to set off. The horse was hitched, the buckboard loaded with their few things, and Lou already sitting in the wagon's seat. Kid took the reins and climbed on next to his wife. "I wish we had taken our horses instead of the wagon," Lou said as the wagon rolled into motion. "It's gonna take us twice as long to reach Rock Creek."

"You're right," Kid agreed, and turning his eyes to the lady riding alongside the wagon, he added, "I'm afraid we're gonna slow you down."

"Oh I don't mind," Penelope replied with a smile. "I ain't in a hurry."

Penelope turned out to be a charming companion. As they rode towards their common destination, the woman told them about her late husband and how he had met his death when he had been assaulted by some rustlers. Even though it was a pitiful story, the way Penelope made it sound did not arouse an ounce of cheap compassion. The woman had an extraordinarily positive vision of her life, and was convinced that her husband was just physically gone, but his soul remained, and with the birth of their child that presence would be doubly more noticeable.

The conversation was a good distraction which lightened the distress of the journey. As a matter of fact, the last part of this ride was full of incidents, and they had to make several forced stops. Once one of the wagon wheels had been trapped in muddy terrain, and the three travelers had pitched in to push it free. Later Penelope's horse had dropped a shoe, and they had taken a detour to reach the next town. Since by the time the animal had been re-shoed it was too late, they had spent the night at the local hotel. As a consequence, the journey back home was taking them longer than they had foreseen, and Lou was visibly restless because of all these delays.

At the beginning of the following day, Kid had assured her with a smile that today would be their last day on the trail. Yet, when on reaching the river, they discovered that the last heavy rains had flooded the area and swallowed the rudimentary bridge. "I'm afraid we'll have to find another way to cross the river."

Louise sighed tiredly. "How?"

"We could skirt around the river downstream. I know there's a safe pass a couple of hours from here," Kid explained.

"A couple of hours!" Lou exclaimed in such a loud, unexpected tone that the horse let out a neighing sound of protest. "Kid, that would double our estimate time, which would mean another day out here."

"Honey, we can't cross over without a bridge. The river is too deep."

"If I may step in," Penelope said shyly, and when the married couple turned their attention to her, she added, "Couldn't we try upstream? There must be another way in that direction. The flow of a river tends to decrease nearing its source. We could even waddle across it at some point."

"I've never set foot up there myself," Kid replied. "I can't tell how much longer we'll have to go on. It could take hours."

"We don't lose anything for trying," Penelope insisted. "And I'm sure there must be another crossing somewhere on the way."

Kid was about to protest but Lou spoke up, "She's right. Let's do it, Kid, please."

The Southerner was still unconvinced, but since Louise clearly agreed with Penelope's suggestion, he finally relented and started off in the opposite direction. Vegetation grew thicker and wilder as they advanced deeper into the area. It was a beautiful, almost virginal spot. The scenery was a real sight for sore eyes but at the same time their progress was hampered by the rough terrain they were riding through. It was clear that people were scarce in these parts, and that was why Kid was not very optimistic in his prospects to find an accessible pass any sooner. Besides, he felt overcome by a strange feeling he could not shed.

"Something wrong, Kid?" Lou asked when she noticed the continuous back glances he threw over his shoulder.

"It's… it's nothing."

"Kid, I know you too well to buy that lie. Come on, what is it?"

The Southerner smiled at his comment, and lowering his voice so as not to alert the other woman who was riding a few feet ahead of them, he said, "I have the strange sensation we're being watched."

"You mean Indians?"

"I… I don't know," Kid replied. "Maybe it's just me, but I still think coming this way is a bad idea."

Lou let out an audible sigh at her husband's stubborn steak. "Why?"

"I… it's just a sensation," he muttered, sounding sheepish because he did not have a better explanation.

"You and your sensations," Louise said teasingly. "Everything's fine. Let that brain of yours get some slack for once, worrywart."

Kid knew she was right. Yet, he was unable to relieve his mind from the worry pressing him. It was stronger than his will. Silence ensued after Lou's last comment, but it was soon broken by Penelope's eager voice.

"Hurry up! We finally found our way out!" she exclaimed, exaggeratedly waving her right hand over her head.

Louise smiled relieved, and as Kid urged the horse forward, she could not help but drop a comment. "You see?"

Penelope was already on her feet when they reached her and discovered what she had previously announced. There was a lone barge at the riverbank, appearing from among the trees like an oasis in the desert. "Need to cross the river, sir?" asked the bargeman.

Before answering, Kid studied the wooden platform, which was tarnished and weakened by the unavoidable pass of time. The ropes which spread across the width of the river also looked old and worn out, and seemed to be reaching their last days. "Are you sure you can take us safely to the other side? It looks quite rackety."

"I assure you it's in perfect condition," the man stated firmly. "I haven't heard a complaint so far."

"There can't be many customers for you in these parts to hear actual talking very often, let alone comments about your service," Kid remarked with a crooked smile.

"You're mistaken, sir," the bargeman contradicted him, evidently feeling annoyed by the Southerner's words. "Many huntsmen and passersby of all kinds find their way here. There's also a hamlet further north with just a few families."

"So how much?" Kid asked again, rubbing his thumb and middle finger for better understanding.

"A dime per head."

"Come on, Kid," Lou broke in before her husband could say another word. "Pay him before we all get too old with all your chit-chat."

Soon the wagon and the horses were loaded onto the barge, and with powerful yanks at the ropes the man smoothly pulled the barge across the river. During the aquatic ride Penelope came to rest against the wagon's frame while Louise stood close to the edge of the wooden platform, relishing the warmth of the sun and the beautiful scenery her eyes were so fortunate to contemplate. "Lou, don't go so close to the border. We don't want any more incidents during this journey, do we?"

Louise turned to look at him with a smiling face. "It's a lovely day," she said, turning a deaf ear to his warning.

Kid stopped next to his wife, and wrapped his left arm around her shoulders. "Yes, it is," he admitted. Louise's smile grew even wider as she breathed in deeply, savoring the pleasure of enjoying this breathtaking gift to the eyes and the man she loved. Her own arm automatically hooked around his waist at the same time as she rested her head on his chest. Life could be so wonderfully simple. A single tiny instant was enough to encompass a huge idea like happiness. It was there and then that counted, and she felt overwhelmed by a flooding wave of joy and bliss. What might happen tomorrow, hours, a minute or a second later did not really matter. It was this very moment, and other than that did not exist.

Louise was so taken by her own thoughts that she did not realize that the barge had come to a standstill. It was the sound of Kid's voice and his body stirring that snapped her out of her daydreaming. "Hey man, what's wrong? Why ain't we…?"

His voice faltered when on turning around he found the bargeman aiming a gun in his direction. Lou gasped in shock, but after the initial scare she managed to find her voice. "What the heck are you doing? Put that gun down right now!"

"I'm afraid I can't oblige, Ma'am."

"You're making a mistake. We don't have money with us," Kid said, keeping a vigilant eye on the gun, afraid it might go off and hurt one of the women, especially Lou.

The man shook his head. "No, no mistakes here, ain't it true, dear?"

To both Kid and Lou's surprise, Penelope came out from behind the wagon, holding another gun. "Absolutely," the blonde woman replied. As Kid and Lou stared at her agape, she guffawed exaggeratedly. "It's incredible how gullible some people can be! You two were so easy! Of course a good dramatic story always works. My poor pregnant widow personification has never failed me, and this time was not an exception."

"You set us up!" Lou exclaimed, stating the obvious. Mentally she cursed herself for her poor insight. If they were now in this mess, it was her fault. It had been her idea to have Penelope along, and her own insistence had finally crumbled down Kid's reluctance to follow his instincts when the woman had lured them to this point. "What the hell do you want from us?" she asked even though she knew what the answer would be.

"We have nothing against either of you, but your dear daddy's paying huge to whoever gets rid of a little inconvenience of his," Penelope replied, looking at Kid pointedly.

Lou's immediate reaction was to place herself in front of her husband protectively while she exclaimed, "You won't dare! You'll have to kill me first!"

"Come on, Missy. Don't make this difficult," the man said in a threatening tone. "You can't win, I'm afraid."

It was true. They were marooned in the middle of the lonely river without a way out, and in their own naiveté their guns were packed in the wagon. "Please Lou," Kid said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her aside. "Please forgive me."

Lou almost had no time to wonder what he meant by that apology since all of a sudden a strong shove force her out of the barge and into the river. A scream left her lips before her body plunged in. Water got into her eyes as well as into her mouth and nostrils. For a few agonizing moments she fought underwater, moving her arms and legs desperately. When she finally emerged, a hoarse cry managed its way out among coughs. "Kid!"

The answer to her call came in the form of strong splashing near her, followed by the sound of shots, ricocheting against the water. "Keep your body underwater as long as possible! Let's try to reach the river bank!" Kid urged her when his head appeared next to her. "Quick!"

Noticing her hesitation and fearing for her life, Kid practically shoved her underwater at the same time as he sank in again. The river bank was still too far from them, but that was their only hope… a too distant hope. He was not a great swimmer, let alone a diver, and even if he managed to reach the bank safely, that would not mean he would not fall victim of those two when he did not have the protection of the water. The shots did not cease, and whenever he came out to breathe, he really thought one bullet would hit him for sure. In those brief breathing seconds he was naturally unable to spot Lou, and his worry for her intensified.

The sound of shots that Kid had got used to hearing by now unexpectedly seemed to grow in number. A different kind of blasting reverberation told him that a third weapon had joined the shoot-out, but strangely it seemed to come from the opposite direction to the barge. After very scary minutes, the sounds started to dim until they ceased completely. An eerie silence ensued, and Kid carefully ventured to get his head out for more than just the required breathing lapses he had let himself so far. "Lou! Lou!" he called before anything else.

To his relief Louise emerged a few feet from where he was. "I'm here," she said huskily, and using the last ounce of energy she had, she managed to swim towards her husband, and threw herself to him, hugging him for dear life. "Oh Kid, I've been so scared."

"Me too," Kid replied, embracing her as tightly.

"But… what… what's happened?"

The couple turned their eyes to check out the barge, and noticed the bodies of their two assaulters lying lifeless on the wooden platform. They shared a confused look when a cry resounded in the silence of the place, the echo repeating Kid's name over and over again. The Southerner directed his eyes in the direction of the voice, and his gaze fell on a slender man standing on the river bank, a fuming shotgun resting on his hip. Despite his surprise and obvious puzzlement, Kid's face lit up with a smile as he whispered, "Jed."


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 62**

After their last moments of anguish and fear, sitting by a camp fire while nestling hot cups of coffee in their hands was like manna falling from heaven. It had been a trying day and it felt like a real blessing to be alive.

Once Kid and Lou had managed to come out of the water, they had welcomed Jed with genuine warmth. The two brothers had joined in a loving hug, and Kid had made the proper introductions between his wife and his brother. Louise had then scurried away to pick out some kindling in order to build a fire whereas the two men had joined their forces to bring the barge to the bank. Though reluctant to get into the water, Kid had swum back to the platform, and, although the extra weight of his wet clothes hindered his progress, after several attempts, he finally managed to climb onto the barge. His dripping-wet pants and shirt clung to his body, weighing three times as much as when dried, so Kid's movements were slow and even uncoordinated.

From the riverbank Jed had helped him, pulling at the ropes too, so the barge could slide across the river more smoothly. The two dead bodies lay a few feet from where Kid stood, and as he took a glimpse at them, he shook his head morosely. Things could have been quite different. Instead of Penelope and her partner, Lou and he might have died. The thought was so terrible that a shiver ran through his body. Now he understood what Lou had tried to tell him about her father. Boggs was a dangerous man, who obviously did not need to stain his hands with blood to get rid of his enemies, a denomination that applied to Kid's situation now. He had escaped his death this time, but what about the next one?

Kid was not really scared of dying. His only worry was that if he died, Lou would be alone and at the mercy of her father and his partner. The mere notion of what that would mean for her made his stomach churn in fear. He could not allow that, but unfortunately, he did not call the shots in what would happen. All he could do was make provisions for his wife's welfare in the event of his untimely death, and that was what he planned to do as soon as he reached Rock Creek.

When the two brothers managed to push the barge to the riverbank, Jed helped Kid move the corpses, and ease the wagon off the platform. They had found a couple of shovels in the barge and dug a couple of graves for the two wretched souls. When everything was finally dealt with, and the couple had changed into dry clothes, they had sat around the fire that Lou had built.

"I gather you don't know whose graves you've just dug," Jed remarked after taking a sip of his coffee.

Kid shook his head. "She told us her name was Penelope Cooper."

"Yes… she was Penelope, but Morgan. She and her man were nothing much… just a couple of swindlers, but rumor has it they wanted to climb up higher on the criminal ladder, so they did a few jobs for a few big shots."

"How do you know all this?" Kid asked surprised.

Jed gave his brother a crooked smile, and took another sip of his coffee. "When you move on the other side of the line, you need to learn quickly. It's important to know your competence, your allies and your enemies." Kid sighed. Hearing his brother vaguely admit his criminal activities made his insides stir uncomfortably, and almost as if reading his thoughts, Lou rested a comforting a hand on his shoulder. Kid smiled a sad smile while Jed continued, "I couldn't believe when I got to hear that my little brother's head had a price… a very enticing bait for every crook on this side of the country. As luck will have it, I happened to bump into those two wretched souls and overhear their plans to get to you. Somehow, they knew where to find you."

"It was you following us before, wasn't it? I sensed somebody was watching us, but I never thought it was you," Kid replied.

"Very clever, Little Brother." Jed paused for a second, and adopting a grimmer expression, he added, "You know, you're in very serious danger."

At Jed's words the couple exchanged an uncomfortable look before Lou spoke up, "Yes, we know… as a matter of fact, I'm the real danger… just because he's married to my father's daughter."

Jed remained undisturbed while Kid protested, "Lou, please. You sound as if this was your fault! You can't blame yourself. We don't choose the parents we're born to!"

"I know," Lou muttered sadly. Despite Kid's words, she could feel the weight of guilt on her soul. If it weren't for her, there wouldn't be threats, close-death calls, or a constant fear haunting them. It was not fair that because Kid had happened to fall in love with her, he had to suffer all these inconveniences.

"Speaking of parents, how are our folks doing these days?" Jed asked airily.

Kid and Lou shared an anguished look before he said, "Uh… Jed, I'm afraid I have bad news." Kid then proceeded to tell his brother about their parents' brutal murder months ago. The words came out abruptly and clumsily. Uttering every one of them meant an almost supernatural effort. His throat felt strangled as if someone was squeezing his neck tightly. It still hurt too much.

When Kid finished his account, he sighed deeply and said, "I… I'm sorry."

Jed stayed impassive for a few seconds, and little by little his blank expression crumbled down. Jumping to his feet with a powerful impulse, he paced up and down the spot while hectically running his fingers through his hairs, much in the same fashion as Kid.

"I'm sorry you had to learn this way," Kid remarked, slowly rising to his feet. "When it happened, I thought you also needed to know, but I had no idea how to get hold of you."

Jed stopped before his brother, and gazed into his eyes with a desperate depression. "Now it's too late for regrets… but… but… You can't imagine how many times I've wished I'd been a better son than I was to Ma. She didn't deserve the way I treated her. I didn't even get to say goodbye the last time. If I'd know it would be the very last time…"

"Jed, you can't torture yourself with such thoughts. Ma loved you, and I'm positive she was very proud of you. Remember how bright her eyes shone when we saw you in Seneca?"

The older brother nodded and even managed to crack a little smile. "At least she had you," he replied, tapping Kid on the shoulder encouragingly. "You took good care of her all these years. I never told you, but… thank you, brother."

Kid blushed, not used to this kind of displays from Jed. As a matter of fact, it meant a lot to him to hear his brother's gratefulness. Kid knew he had just done what any son would, but all the same, it was comforting to realize Jed appreciated it. However, deep down Kid felt he had acted as inadequately as Jed also considered himself. Maybe he could have done more and better for his mother, but like Lou usually told him, that was something nobody could know, and he should be happy to have been by his mother when she needed him.

Uncomfortable with the topic, Kid decided to steer the conversation to a safer path. "So what have you been up to lately?"

Jed turned his back to him and crouched back on the fallen log he had previously been sitting on. "Nothing much," he muttered with a certain disregard as his fingers aimlessly played with a twig. "The fellas I used to hang around with… well, we kind of fell out, and now I'm on my own again." He paused for a second to meet his brother's eyes again almost at once. "I reckon my immediate plans come down to one thing: escort my younger brother and his wife safely home." With a wink and a smile, Jed then added, "I'd really love to see your home, and I'll feel much better to make sure you get there in one piece."

Kid smiled with obvious approval. "That'll be perfect, and we'll be delighted to welcome you to our home, won't we, Lou?"

Louise matched her husband's smile as he agreed, "Absolutely."

* * *

The last part of their ride to Rock Creek was problem-free. The two brothers soon fell into easy chatter, picking up where they had last left off. From the smooth and relaxed way they talked, joked and bantered, one could never guess they had been apart for so many years. Somehow this time Kid felt more at ease around his brother. When they had last run into each other in Seneca, Jed was virtually a stranger, a fuzzy shadow he did not know. Yet, now things were different; he was aware who his brother was. Jed might be involved in questionable activities, and even though Kid had many reservations about it, at least he now knew where he stood and what he could expect from him. On the ride to Rock Creek, nothing was mentioned about Jed and his shadowy business, and Kid did not mention what he had witnessed in Seneca or ask his brother what he had been up to in the last months. He was just happy to have Jed around, and nothing else mattered.

From her position next to her husband on the wagon, Louise watched and listened to the two brothers with unconcealed pleasure. It was really refreshing to see Kid look so happy and laid-back. After what they had gone through lately, this was just what he needed. It had been too long since Lou had seen her husband smile so much. Finding Jed had obviously meant winning back a piece of his soul he had lost with his parents' deaths. Like she had heard Teaspoon say several times, family was the most important thing in the world, and he was definitely right.

Even though Louise felt glad for her husband, the selfish part of her self nagged her with jealousy. She really wished she could be the reason Kid's eyes shone with such a special glint, but the truth was she had brought nothing but problems and headaches to him. Apart from that, she also longed for something similar to what he had found in Jed. All her family was dead, and there was her father, but he was the person she wanted to have as far as possible.

When the trio reached Rock Creek, they stopped briefly at the cemetery. Jed wanted to pay his respects at his parents' graves. While the two brothers stood in silent reverence at the spot where their folks were buried, Lou picked some wild flowers from the fields nearby and replaced the dry, withered ones she had last left there. Since her parents-in-law had died, Louise made a point of going to the cemetery every week to place some flowers. Even though she had known Kid's parents for a short time, she could not forget the kindness his mother had treated her with, and she felt she owed the woman big, especially since the moment she fell in love with Kid. Besides, coming to the cemetery helped her fill a few holes in her tattered soul. Since she could not do the same with her own mother, this meant some sort of self-reparation for her. Kid sometimes tagged along, but even though he never said much, she knew he got too upset, and that was the reason he did not come to the cemetery more often.

After the short visit to the cemetery, they rode straight to the couple's homestead. When Louise caught sight of her home, she almost let out a whoop of joy. After so many difficult days away, her little house felt like a wonderful mirage, and she could hardly believe they had finally made it.

As soon as they unloaded the wagon and unpacked, Kid and Jed went to see to the horses while Lou took a much-needed, relaxing bath. When the men returned to clean up, Louise was cooking dinner in the kitchen, and not long afterwards they were all sitting at the table, enjoying a hot, tasty meal.

"You have a nice place here, Kid," Jed commented. Dinner had been a quiet event, and when Lou poured cups of coffee for each of them at the end of the meal, conversation flew again.

"It wasn't much at the beginning," Kid replied, "but we've done our best to turn it into a real home. I have to admit that it's mostly Lou's doing."

"Kid, we've both worked hard. Don't give yourself so little credit."

Kid smiled at his wife while Jed piped up, "I wish I could own a nice place like this, but times are hard, and it ain't easy."

Kid nodded. "I know."

"Now ain't the best moment to settle down, maybe one day… when this impending war finishes, and rights the wrongs of our country."

At the mention of war Lou blanched. Even though the widening rift between north and south was an everyday topic everywhere she went, Louise did her best to remain unaffected. She and Kid never talked about the war, and even when he casually mentioned something, she skillfully steered the conversation away from the subject. She still remembered Kid voicing his passion and love for his native land and his likely intentions to be an active part in the coming war, and thinking that the moment of his possible departure was close was too much for her.

"Are you thinking of joining up?" Kid asked, breaking Lou's train of thought.

"There's nothing to think about," Jed replied. "I'm actually on my way to Virginia. It won't be long before the war breaks out, and I want to be there. Maybe… if you're ready we could ride off together, huh?"

Lou had the sensation that her heart had stopped beating and the air did not reach her lungs. Kid did not speak straightaway, and those few seconds felt like an anguishing, endless torture for her. The room seemed to spin around her and if this silence continued any longer, she thought she was going to faint. "I can't leave Lou now given the circumstances," Kid finally said. "She needs me… it ain't safe with her father lurking who-knows-where."

Louise let out her held air and all her organs in her body seemed to start working again. Jed looked at her with a crooked smile. "I'm sure she could stay with those friends you told me about. And last time I checked your life was at stake, not hers. Contradictory as it sounds, steering clear from here might be the way to save your skin. The war won't be long, and things might have settled down when we go back."

Kid shook his head. "Sorry, Jed, but no. I can't leave Lou, and nothing's gonna change my mind."

Jed sent another enigmatic look at his newly-acquainted sister-in-law and finally relented. "Understood."

Uncomfortable with the conversation, Louise cleared her throat to draw attention to herself. "Gentlemen, you'll have to excuse me. I'm terribly tired, so I think it's time for me to turn in," she said, slowly rising to her feet. This talk of war had unsettled her, and she hated to hear Kid pointing out she was the only obstacle to his joining the war. This was really what she had wanted to hear for a long time, but the way he had explained himself made her feel a bit funny.

"'Night, honey," Kid replied, reaching out for her and holding her hands when she tried to clear the coffee set. "I'll do that! Just go and get your rest."

Louise stretched her lips in a strange smile before she started towards the staircase. "Good night, Louise," Jed called politely.

As he had just said, Kid got down to clearing the table in silence. From the dining room, the two brothers could hear Lou's soft steps going up the stairs and along the corridor on the floor above. When the click of the bedroom door being shut reverberated in the silence of the house, Jed said, "It's really hard to understand certain things in this life."

"What things?" asked Kid, intrigued by his brother's comment.

"You… for starters," Jed replied. "Months ago you were almost crying over my shoulder at the prospect of your marriage to her. Gosh, you even suggested we swap places. And now you're ready to lay down your life for her."

"I love her… that's all you have to understand."

"Love…" Jed echoed, shaking his head in a derisive way, which made Kid stop his motion and look in his direction with obvious annoyance. "Love is just an empty fabrication… what you call love is simply stupid infatuation. It makes us feel great for a while, but lasts as long as candy in a child's pocket. Kid, women come and go, and you just can't leave everything for one."

Kid shook his head. "You're wrong. Lou's not just any woman. She's special, and the one for me."

"You used to say the same about your friend Doritha."

"It's different!" Kid retorted in a slightly louder tone. "After meeting Lou, I found out that what I felt for Doritha wasn't the real thing."

"By the same rule you might meet somebody else one day who might make you realize Louise ain't your real soul mate after all."

"That's not gonna happen," Kid replied stubbornly.

"How do you know?"

"I just do," Kid concluded.

At his stubbornness Jed sighed, rose to his feet and walked to his brother. "Look, Kid," he said, resting his right hand on his brother's shoulder. "I've seen more and lived longer than you. This world of ours belongs to survivors, and not idealistic heroes. Mind me in this. Leave that woman… leave Louise."

Kid could not believe his ears, and irritated, he swatted Jed's hand off his shoulder. "She… she's my wife," was all Kid managed to say. His shock was such that he could hardly make up a coherent thought.

"I ain't saying you'd abandon her without remorse. I'm sure you can make suitable arrangements to keep her safe and well cared for. I wouldn't expect less from you," Jed explained. "What you have to understand is that as long as you're together, your days are numbered. You can't even imagine what her father is really like." Kid tried to protest, but Jed did not let her. "I'm not even asking you to come to Virginia with me, which incidentally would be the right thing for you to do. But well, if you feel you have no part in the war, I respect that. But, Kid, I really want you to be safe and alive, and you won't as long as you are with that woman. It's not fair."

"Fair? Would you call it fair to turn your back on the woman you love? Is it fair to dump her as if she were dirty water just because of trouble on the horizon? Is it fair to judge someone you've just met? What is fair, Jed? What?"

"It's fair to me," he replied honestly. "You're my only brother, and I care for you."

His last words managed to soothe Kid's bitter anger. "I know, Jed, but I care for her too."

"And you won't leave her."

"Not now… or ever," Kid stated firmly. "And if I had to die for her, my only wish is that my sacrifice would make it possible for her to have the full, carefree live she deserves. Then I could walk out of this life almost happy."

Jed shook his head, feeling his brother was acting like a fool. "You're crazy," he said, slowly walking towards the stairs. There was nothing else to say, so he'd better turn in. Stopping on the first step, he turned to his brother again and added, "Kid, you're my only family. Forgive me for caring and trying my best to keep you safe." Before Kid could comment on that, Jed flew up the stairs and disappeared into the guest room. As the door closed behind him, he stood unmoving and thoughtful, realizing that his words carried more weight than his brother imagined, and he really hoped Kid could understand one day… and even forgive him.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 63**

A couple of strong arms slid around her waist, startling Lou in her peaceful morning moment. Soon a smile lit her features when she felt the familiar touch of her husband's face against hers while he hugged her tightly from behind. "You cruel woman," he said teasingly as he nuzzled her neck. "This poor man missed you beyond reason last night."

Louise turned around in his arms, and once face to face she asked, "Missed me? What are you talking about?"

"You were fast asleep when I joined you in our bed last night, and I wake up this morning to find you already gone. How can I not miss you? You know how much I love our morning cuddles, honey, not to mention what we do at night."

Lou could not help but giggle. "We had a very long day yesterday. I was totally shattered, and well… you were in good company when I left you. I'm sure you and your brother did a lot of catching up."

"That doesn't mean I missed you any less," Kid replied, running his hands up and down her hips. Remembering his conversation with Jed unsettled him greatly, and he did not want to talk to Lou about it. If she knew what his brother thought of her, she would naturally get upset, and that would give her another reason to feel guilty about something that was not her fault.

Kid's expression darkened momentarily, which did not go unnoticed by Louise. "Something wrong?"

"No, 'course not."

"Are you upset that your brother's leaving soon? Or… or maybe you wish you could ride out with him?" Lou finally dared to ask.

"I swear it ain't that."

"I don't want you to leave, because I care for you, not because I need you to protect me."

"Lou," he rejoined, taking her hands in his and looking into her eyes intently, "I ain't leaving now, I ain't leaving tomorrow… I plan to stay with you forever because I do love you. I intend to keep the vows I didn't actually mean when we got married."

Lou chuckled at the reference of their very strange wedding, but she still had a bee on her bonnet. "You're staying then? Despite your love for Virginia? Despite your brother? Despite your honor? Despite…?"

"Despite anything," Kid interrupted, stating his words with firm confidence. "You're more important to me than all that. Nothing else can compare to what I feel for you."

Lou smiled, feeling overcome by a deep sense of satisfaction. "You know something?"

"What?"

"In spite of all our problems, we're lucky to have each other. Whatever happens in the future, what matters is now… nothing else."

Kid matched his wife's bright smile. "Yes, I know. I'm very fortunate for having you in my life."

About an hour later they were enjoying breakfast in the company of Jed. Conversation flowed between the two brothers as if what had befallen the previous night had never taken place. Kid was glad he had set things right with his brother, and now there were no half truths or false expectations.

Downing the rest of his coffee, Kid wiped his mouth with his napkin, which he then dropped on the table. "Well, I better go now," he announced.

Kid was already on his feet when Lou's strained voice rose to protest. "Go where?"

"To the way station. I need to report to Teaspoon. I've been away for too many days, and I need to explain what happened on our ride back," Kid explained.

"But you can't go there alone! What if someone tries something against you again? For all we know, we might have been followed here, and those men, thirsty for my father's reward, could be lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right time to jump you."

"Lou, I'll be careful," Kid assured her.

"Let me go with you then."

"What for, honey?" Kid differed. "I'll be fine, and I'll feel better knowing you're home safely with my brother. You'll keep an eye on her, won't you, Jed?"

"Count on me, Little Brother."

"I'll be home tonight like usual," Kid added. "Don't worry 'cause I'll be fine."

Lou did not say another word, but her face showed her obvious dissatisfaction when she accepted her husband's goodbye kiss. As the door clicked shut behind him, Lou rose, shared a strange kind of look with Jed, and started to pick up the breakfast things in silence.

How could she not worry? That was impossible. She was already fretting even though she knew Kid did not have enough time to leave their property yet, and would likely be in the stables. Today would be a very long day. And to top it all, she did not feel comfortable on her own with Jed. It was true he was an amiable man, but the way he kept looking at her somehow unsettled her. Lou suspected she wasn't Jed's favorite person, and she could even sense he thought she was not the right woman for his brother.

After being away for almost a week, there was too much to do around the homestead. The house needed a good cleaning, and even though they had paid a local boy to feed the animals during those days away, the stables and horses were also in dire need of attention. Louise welcomed the busy workload, which gave her the perfect excuse not to be around Jed too much. Actually, she hardly saw him all morning. Yet, at lunchtime he was there, sharing her table and food in awkward silence.

Worry naturally had not given her a moment's respite so far, and her throbbing headache was becoming simply unbearable. Feeling so rough and nauseous, she could hardly swallow a few bites from her lunch. "I think I'll take a nap now," she told Jed when she started clearing the table. "My head's killing me."

Jed just nodded with a smile. So after quickly washing the plates, cutlery and pans from lunch, Lou scurried to her bedroom and slid under the covers. Sleeping, though, was easier said than done. It took her a lot of turning and tossing to doze off because she kept waking up every couple of minutes. Fortunately, sleep finally managed to take a grip of her, and Louise could get the peace she so much needed.

Lou did not know what brought her back to the world of the living again. Something seemed to have snapped in her sleepy mind, and her eyes darted open. The afternoon light filtering through the window blinded her temporarily, but little by little her surroundings became clearer. In her angle of vision a strange image appeared before her eyes, and for a moment she thought she was still dreaming. But no, it was too real. A gun barrel was looking in her direction, and behind it a pair of cold blue eyes, mirroring those of her husband's, stared at her intensely. Her sudden awakening had caught the young man off guard, but even so, his hand did not falter for a single instant.

Lou's dark pools challenged those threatening steel blue eyes. She could read what there was in them as if in an open book. There was no doubt of his intentions and reasons, and her body shuddered instantly.

After those brief but long seconds of blank confrontation, Lou slowly closed her eyes, accepting what she knew was coming. The silence was suffocating, and a lone tear rolled from under her shut eyes. She had never thought this would be her end, killed in her own bed, but maybe this was the best solution for everybody. At that moment she could only think of Kid, and how he would react when he found her cold, dead body when he returned later that day. Time would hopefully heal his wounds, but she wished he knew how much she had loved him, and in the years to come he would remember her fondly despite everything.

A metallic click resounded in the room, and Lou gulped, mentally preparing herself for her journey to the unknown. Her heart was pounding in her chest so strongly that its beats reverberated deafeningly in her whole body. The moments before the bang of the gun felt endless, and Lou almost prayed this agonizing wait would end soon. Yet, unexpectedly instead of the gun going off, she heard heavy thumps of steps trudging away and leaving her bedroom.

Lou's eyes shot open and found herself all alone. Her trembling hand flew to her mouth, and after the fright, her breathing came out in rapid rasps, and all her body was shaking like a leaf. It took her a good ten minutes to get a grip of herself, and then she quickly pushed the covers aside and slid out of the bed. With slow, stealthy steps she shuffled out of the room, wondering if Jed would be hiding somewhere, ready to unload his revolver into her. Still, if he had not shot when she was an easy victim, why would he now?

Lou reached downstairs, finding no trace of Jed. Her unsteady, still trembling, legs led her to the kitchen, and she looked out of the window, eagerly hoping to see Kid appear on the horizon. However, all she could see was the sun hanging low in the orange-toned sky, but nothing else. "Please come home," she whispered so softly that the sound did not reach her own ears. Just a couple of minutes ago she had been so certain she would never see Kid again that now she could not wait to lay eyes on him. She yearned for his strong arms holding her and his special touch.

The sound of steps startled her and, as she whirled around, she got hold of a big knife from the kitchen counter. "Don't move!" she cried, brandishing the knife threateningly.

"Don't fret," Jed said, rising his empty hands above his head. "I don't plan to do anything against you, I swear."

"What was that before then?" Lou demanded in a loud tone.

Jed lowered his eyes to the toes of his boots. "I have nothing against you, honestly… I'd even like you under other circumstances, but Kid's my only brother… my only family, as a matter of fact, and I don't want anything to happen to him."

"I don't want that either," Lou replied without letting go of the knife.

"Maybe… but as you said yourself, you're his danger, his guarantee of an early death," Jed rejoined. "I thought that if I disposed of his problem, he'd… well… it was daft of me. If I had pulled the trigger, I wouldn't have had the guts to face him afterwards." He paused for a second to say, "You're safe with me after all."

Jed gave her a crooked smile, but Lou remained dead serious. "Leave my house right now!" she roared angrily. "I don't want the likes of you around when my husband's not at home."

"As you wish," Jed replied with an amused grin.

As he turned around, Louise spoke up again, and Jed stopped at the threshold to look at her. "One last thing. I'm not gonna tell Kid about your little trick. He's really fond of you, and knowing what you've tried would hurt him too much. But hear me out. If you try to harm him again, I'll show you what I'm really like."

Jed grinned again, and without a single word, he walked out. The door closed behind him, and at once the knife slipped from Lou's fingers onto the floor. Tears of fear, frustration, and pain sprang to her eyes. Her right hand flew to her face, and as she stood in the middle of the kitchen, Louise started sobbing, feeling very miserable and asking heaven what on earth she was supposed to do with her very flawed life.


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 64**

Kid spurred Katy at a faster pace when the outline of his home sprang up before his eyes. It had been a long day, and he could hardly wait to get back to his Lou.

Today when he had arrived at the station, everybody had welcomed him back with genuine warmth. Then he had discussed his current situation with Teaspoon and his fellow riders, and explained to them what had happened on the ride back to Rock Creek. Naturally, Kid had told them about Jed's lucky intervention, but kept quiet about the detail that his brother was staying in his home. Teaspoon had learned from Kid's very mouth that in Seneca Jed had been involved in a bank robbery, so if the marshal knew his brother was around, he would surely have to do his duty as a lawman. Kid was well aware that he had not acted right by holding back that information, but that was the least he could do for his brother. After all, thanks to Jed, he was alive.

After learning what had happened to Kid on the ride, Teaspoon had decided to take him off the riding schedule. It would be suicidal to send the young man on a ride when there were certainly some shady characters out there who would not doubt to pull the trigger against the Southerner for as much money as Boggs was offering. Therefore, starting today Kid's work was limited to his chores around the station. Naturally, Kid was not happy about the new arrangements, but he had to admit Teaspoon was right.

Somehow, this provision also suited him. That way he did not have to stay away from Lou, and he could make sure she was also safe. In principle, he had not given much thought to the idea of her being on her own at home, but when he had ridden off this morning, he had realized that leaving her behind was not his smartest move. So all day long he had been beside himself with worry. Of course, he trusted Jed, and he was sure his brother would watch out for her. Yet, today for some unknown reason he had been especially unsettled, and he could not wait to finally reach home and see Lou was all right.

After mulling over this situation all day long, he had reached a conclusion. So starting tomorrow he would ride to the station with Lou in tow and they would stay there until they returned home at the end of the day. Rachel, Teaspoon, and the riders had agreed with his request, and now he had to convince Louise, which he suspected would not be an easy task. Given the circumstances, it was the most sensible thing to do, and after all, Jed would not stay in Rock Creek forever, and there was no way Lou could remain alone in their home.

Kid slowed down as he rode into his property. Jed was perched on the fence surrounding the corral, and raised his arm to wave at his brother in greeting. Kid eased off Katy gracefully and approached his brother, who jumped from the fence at the same time. "I was waiting for you," said Jed. "This is it, Little Brother. Thanks for your hospitality, but it's time for me to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Kid echoed, his forehead creased in obvious puzzlement.

Jed nodded. "I'm leaving now."

"Now? Why? Ain't it a bit too sudden?" Kid asked. Jed had not mentioned his intention to leave so soon, therefore, his announcement logically aroused obvious surprise.

"Actually, I should've been miles from here by now," Jed replied. "This detour wasn't among my plans. 'Course I'm glad to have had the opportunity to see you, but I really need to be on my way as soon as possible."

"Can't you wait till tomorrow?" Kid insisted. "There's just a couple of hours of light left. You won't get too far today. There's no need for you to rush."

Jed opened his mouth to reply, but another voice broke the moment between the two brothers. Kid turned around on hearing his name being called, and instantly his face lit up when he saw his wife standing on the porch.

Louise wavered between staying put and running to her husband when she spotted Jed next to him. When a few minutes ago she had heard Katy's hooves announcing Kid's arrival, she had dashed out of the house with a big smile on her face. Yet, finding Jed there had dampened her eager anticipation. However, she told herself that his presence could not play further havoc on her. So after sending Jed a wary glare, she slowly made her way where Kid was.

The rider gave his wife a light kiss and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close to him. "Lou, did you know Jed intends to leave now?" he said straightaway.

Louise did not bat an eyelash as she digested the information. "No, I didn't know," she replied in a total calm demeanor.

"I told him he should stay the night at least, don't you think?" Kid added, clearly expecting his wife's support to convince Jed he should not leave tonight.

Louise cleared her throat uncomfortably, and directing her stern eyes to Jed, she said, "Well, Kid, if he wants to go, he must have his reasons, and we have no right to hold him back."

The sand-haired rider stared at his wife in stunned silence, not expecting this answer from her at all. This was so atypical of Lou that it naturally made Kid wonder. Her attitude was too explicitly impolite, and as Kid turned his eyes to his brother, and noticed his crooked amused grin, the rider was certain something fishy was going on. "To be totally honest," Jed added, "I couldn't stay even if you begged me on your knees. I wish I could, but, frankly, I can't."

Kid finally relented, aware that there was nothing he could do to change his brother's mind. "If you put it like that, what can I say?"

Jed walked to his horse which was already saddled and ready to go. Kid and Lou followed him, and watched him mount the animal without further delay. "Jed," Kid called as he came closer, "please try to keep in touch. Don't be a stranger. After all these years, we finally found each other, and I don't want to lose you again."

"I'll try," Jed replied.

Kid nodded with a tiny smile, but deep down he knew Jed would never write. It was not because he did not care. In the last couple of days, Kid had found out how much he meant to his brother. Jed had saved him from a certain death, and had even gone to the length of trying to talk him into leaving Lou for just his safety. Even though Kid did not agree with his opinion, he knew that all his actions just showed his brother cared for him. Yet, despite everything, Kid was certain Jed would not write. He was not the kind of person who would sit down to fill a white paper with a few words, even if it was for his brother. That was not in his nature, and Kid knew. "And please take care of yourself," Kid added.

"I better," Jed replied with a crooked grin. His eyes then stumbled upon Lou's cold glance, and then turned his attention back to his brother. "And look after your wife. She's a brave little thing, and I can see she's special."

His words completely threw Lou, and Kid nodded, glad that their conversation from the night before seemed to have taken effect on Jed. "She is… the most special girl in the world. I'm lucky to have her," Kid agreed, lovingly staring into his wife's eyes and stroking her arm softly. Louise was feeling quite awkward today, and her husband's words did not have the effect that they should. It had been a very strange day, and she did not even know how she was feeling. Unaware of Lou's internal fight, Kid shifted his eyes back to Jed, and added, "When the war finishes, come back to us. We'll be waiting for you with open arms, won't we, Lou?"

Louise did not speak up at once. After her scare, she should hate her brother-in-law's guts, and wish to have as little contact with him as possible. Yet, she also knew that what Jed wanted was the same as she did. They both wished the best for Kid. Yes, the man had tried to kill her, but to her utter astonishment she realized she was not as sore as she should be. In fact, she could understand his reasons.

Louise smiled, and finally made her peace. "Please be careful out there and do as your brother says."

Jed tipped his head to her politely, and without further delay, he spurred his horse into a trot. Kid and Lou stood in the yard, watching him ride away, and when they could not make out his outline in the distance any longer, they walked to the house in silence.

"Are you gonna tell me what's going on?" Kid blurted out when they were inside.

Louise looked at her husband with a confused frown. "What do you mean?"

"Lou, I ain't blind or stupid. Out of the blue my brother decides he has to go at once, and the tension between the two of you was so thick you could cut it with a knife."

"Oh that…" Lou answered in a disregarding manner, and without making the slightest attempt to fulfill Kid's curiosity, she continued walking to the kitchen with Kid in tow.

"Lou, ain't you gonna tell me?"

Louise kept her eyes low as she started to peel the vegetables for tonight's dinner. She could feel Kid's stare boring into her, and she was starting to get nervous. Imagining Kid would not notice anything strange, she had not thought of a plausible excuse for her apparently obvious attitude towards Jed. "What do you want me to say?" she finally started. "I'm sure you already know what your brother thinks of me."

"Did he tell you something?" Kid insisted.

"No, he tried to kill me," Lou answered truthfully, but sounded sarcastic to Kid's ears. The Southerner gave her a silly grin and a please-talk-to-me kind of look. Louise sighed, and breaking from the task at hand, she met his eyes while saying, "Nothing happened. I guess we just don't get along. Maybe we need more time to get to know each other better. But I swear to God I didn't ask him to leave. That was his decision."

"I know that, Lou."

"Could we not talk about this anymore, please?" the young woman added, and Kid's silence provided her the answer she wanted. Lou resumed peeling and cutting the vegetables, and Kid grabbed another knife to help his wife with the task. As they worked in silence, Louise glimpsed at her husband out of the corner of her eye. Another inaudible sigh left her lips. After looking back at the events of the day, this simple moment meant the world to her. If Jed had carried out his intentions, she would not have been here to experience this very minute. She would not have had another chance to see her husband, and as she watched him struggle with the knife and the parsnip in his hand, she felt truly blessed. "I love you." The words spilled out of her mouth without her being aware that she was actually talking.

Kid smiled, surprised by her spontaneous declaration. "I love you too, honey. You know that," he whispered, and as he noticed her bright eyes and trembling lower lip, he asked, "Lou, are you sure you're all right?"

Louise nodded several times in a row before speaking up. "I… I just felt the urgency to tell you because… because… because… I… you were gone for so many hours, the day was unbearably long, and I missed you. Who knows if one day I might not be able to tell you?" As she uttered the last part of her speech, the tears broke free, and she crumbled down, sobs racking her petite body.

"Lou…" Kid breathed in concern and automatically brought her to him, hugging her. As he cooed her with soft words and endearments, Lou cried her eyes out against his chest. Although she told herself she was tough and could cope with anything, she realized that all she had gone through in the last weeks was taking its toll on her, and her confrontation with Jed had been the last straw. She had bottomed out, and until now she had not realized how scared and unsafe she felt. When would she finally be left in peace? All she wanted was to enjoy a normal life with her husband without intrusions and threats. That was all. Was that asking for too much?


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 65**

Days succeeded one by one without great incidents. Kid and Lou had settled into a new routine, which was not completely to her liking, but she had not been able to oppose. Every morning the couple rode to the station together, and while Kid worked, Lou stayed with Rachel until the end of the day. Louise kept complaining that they could not keep on doing this forever. The house was clearly neglected, and she just could not see to everything in the few hours she had in the evening or the days Kid had off. The Southerner did his best to help, but he also had his share of work at his homestead with the horses. In truth, the business he was trying to start was suffering too. He just did not have the time, and now that Lou was not at home all the time, she could not give him a hand with the animals, and all the tasks involved.

Kid hoped this was just a temporary arrangement, and soon they could return to their old ways. He knew Teaspoon was still helping Colonel Adams to track down Boggs and his partner. Their incursion in the gun dealer's property had surely weakened his forces. Apart from those who had fallen during the attack, many others had been arrested and sentenced to death. Therefore, this decline in the number of men certainly had some consequences. However, Boggs was still on the run and free.

Colonel Adams had not been able to dig up much information from the detained. They claimed they did not know anything about the man who they had worked for, or otherwise, their loyalty was impossible to break. Colonel Adams' search in Boggs' house had proved to be barren as well. His men had found hundreds of documents in the study, which had been analyzed later. They were proof of the man's criminal actions for years, and if he ever went on trial, the law would not have any doubts about his guilt. Yet, Boggs was hiding somewhere, and there was not a single clue that would point in any direction. The army was clueless about the gun dealer's whereabouts, and as long as Boggs was free, Lou and Kid were in danger.

"Lou?" Kid called. They were riding side by side. It was the end of another working day, and they were gladly heading for their home.

"Yes?" Louise replied, snapping out of her own thoughts.

"Is everything all right?"

Lou frowned at his question. "What do you mean?"

"You look quite down, and I wonder what's in your mind."

Lou sighed tiredly. "You already know. I'm tired of this entire situation. How much longer do we have to be on the lookout?"

"I… I don't know."

"Don't get me wrong. I enjoy Rachel's company. She's a good friend, and I even have fun around the station. But I don't like feeling like I can't choose what I want to do. It's like being in a prison."

"I understand you, Lou. I'm tired too."

Lou raised an eyebrow in surprise. Kid never complained about anything, and he was too unbearably positive about the situation and their future prospects. This was the first time he voiced an objection. Naturally, he had the same right to express his feelings, but somehow his words did not sit well with Louise. "You could end this situation easily. Just give up on me, and send me away. I'm sure my father would eventually know about it, and once you get rid of me, you can start a proper life, without problems or cares."

Kid stared at her as if she had suddenly gone crazy. "How can you say that? That's outrageous. You know I'd rather kill myself than let anything happen to you. I ain't complaining about you. How can I? I adore you. What I'm trying to say is that I also long for the same peace you do… that's all."

At his scolding words Louise lowered her eyes in evident shame. "Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It was stupid of me."

Kid reached out for the reins, and made her horse stop. Louise looked up again, and he said, "Lou, I'm worried about you… too worried. You've been in this continuous low mood for too long… actually since my brother's visit." At the reference Louise felt her cheeks flame, and Kid continued, "I'm certain something happened between you two, but I ain't asking you what. It's up to you if you want to tell me. I just know you've changed. You ain't the same vibrant woman I fell in love with, and I really miss my wife. You hardly ever smile, let alone laugh. We never fool around anymore, or even talk the way we used to, and… and… and… and when we make love, it's as if just your body was there, but not your spirit."

Lou knew Kid was right. Since the incident with Jed, she had been unable to get rid of the sadness that haunted her, and her mind was continuously harassed by too many negative thoughts. Even though Lou had always felt responsible for the predicament her husband was in, the notion had heightened after her confrontation with Jed. Somehow she had the strange idea that life would be better for everybody, especially Kid, if she was not in it. Of course, deep down she was aware that in the same way Kid was her whole world, she meant as much to him. Yet, she could not convince herself enough to shed her sadness.

"I… I don't know, Kid. I often doubt we'll ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't really like the way I constantly expect something bad to happen, and I've never felt so powerless, not even when I was living with my father."

"I've told you dozens of times, honey. This won't last forever. You know Teaspoon's helping the army to find your father, and then everything will be back to normal."

"They'll never find him," Louise stated firmly. "But he'll surely find us. I know him too well, Kid, and he'll wait for as long as he needs to. When we least expect it, he'll strike."

"Lou, you did know about his strength and power before, but after the army's intervention thanks to your help, his so-called empire has definitely shrunk."

"The more reason why he must be more determined to have his way," Lou rejoined. "Wicks is a very wealthy man, and my father's always wanted more and more even when he had enough money to buy all Nebraska. His aim was to lay his hands in Wicks' fortune, and that's why he tried to marry me off to him the first time. So now that his means have been slashed, he has twice as many reasons to bond with him through me."

"We'll fight them," Kid continued in the same resolute way. "Don't you think we also have important reasons to oppose him tooth and nail?"

"Yes, I know," Lou muttered without much conviction.

"They won't beat us, I'm sure," Kid added, and as his wife sent him a skeptical look, he said, "Lou, repeat after me. They won't beat us… come on. Say it."

"They won't beat us," Lou uttered in a small voice.

"You don't sound very convincing. I know you can do it better. Say it again."

"They won't beat us!" Lou exclaimed with more enthusiasm than she felt. "They won't beat us! Happy now?"

Kid smiled. "You'll have to keep on rehearsing," he quipped in a teasing tone. His playful mood sobered quickly as he said, "Seriously, Lou. I know how you feel, but if you worry yourself sick on a daily basis about what might or mightn't happen in the future, you'll be missing out what's going on in the present. You once told me we are lucky to have each other. How about showing from time to time a bit of that?"

For the first time Louise grinned, realizing Kid had won her over with her own arguments. "Yes, you're absolutely right."

"Why don't we then start by enjoying a nice, cozy evening at home? And maybe if I'm really lucky, my wife will let me make love to her… the whole of her. How about that?"

"I think that's a perfect plan," Lou admitted with a bright smile, and leaning over, she planted a long, thankful kiss on her husband's lips.

The couple resumed riding towards their homestead. The conversation had really taken effect on Lou. In the minutes before reaching their home, her silences were filled with cheerful words and laughter, and although Kid could tell she was making a conscious effort, it was a start after all.

When they were riding into the property, Lou instantly noticed a couple of suit-clad men in front of their house. "Kid…" she warned her husband with a nod of her head to the two strangers.

Kid instantly drew his gun, and as they approached, his outstretched hand threatened the men with his six-shooter. "Who are you? And what are you doing on my property?"

The older man lifted his arms to show he did not mean harm. "My name's Carr… Jason Carr. I'm a lawyer, and this is my assistant, Dennis Putney. We're here to pass a communication onto you, sir."

"What kind of communication?" Kid demanded, still wary of the two strangers.

"A foreclosure notice," Mr. Carr said as he produced a document from his inner pocket. "I'm afraid this property's been claimed by its legitimate owner and he wishes to take it over."

Kid finally lowered his gun, eased off Katy, and snatched the paper from Mr. Carr's hand. His eyes avidly scanned the document while Lou also read the notice over his shoulder. There was an unknown name cited as the owner of their home. "This must be a mistake," Kid managed to say in a bewildered voice. "This place belongs to us. It's our home."

"There's no mistake, sir," said the other man who had remained quiet all this time.

"And by law you have forty-eight hours to vacate the property," Mr. Carr stated, and before Kid and Lou could say or do anything, the two men got on their mounts and rode away. The couple stared at each other with befuddled expressions, totally at loss, and not really knowing what to make of this.

* * *

A couple of hours later the perplexed couple were back at the station, and sitting in the bunkhouse with Rachel, Teaspoon and the other riders. After the lawyer's visit, Kid and Louise had gone in search of the marshal in his office to explain the problem that had landed on their feet out of the blue. Teaspoon had sent the couple to the station to wait while he made some inquiries.

"I'm afraid this document's genuine," Teaspoon started after a few seconds.

"But how can that be? That's our house… our home," Lou protested, wriggling her hands nervously.

"What I've found out is the property never belonged to ya. Until a few days ago the deeds were made out in the name of John Boggs."

The information threw Louise completely, and she turned to her husband. "But my father did give you the documents to sign, didn't he? The property was a present, and your name must be on the deeds."

Kid sighed morosely as he shook his head. "I assumed he had taken care of all the paperwork and I never thought about asking for the deeds. Back then that was my least worry." Kid wanted to kick himself for his stupidity. This was the second time he had been tricked in a similar business. First, that friend of his father's in Virginia had taken advantage of his ignorance and naiveté to clean him out. His own father had made him believe he had gambled the family house in a poker game, and after he had paid the money to retrieve what his pa had lost, he had found out that all the matter had been nothing but a ruse. Kid had then sworn that nobody would double-cross him ever again. Yet, here he was deep in hot water because a very similar reason.

"Now the owner's somebody called Morgan," Teaspoon explained. "I talked to the fella, and he said he'd bought the land from Mr. Boggs."

"My father was here?" Lou asked, her eyes as wide as saucers.

Teaspoon shook his head. "Apparently, Boggs contacted the lawyer… that Carr fella, and he arranged all the paperwork and the sale."

"But they know where to locate Boggs, don't they?" Jimmy asked.

"Everythin' was done by correspondence," explained the marshal. "Mr. Carr said that he got all the instructions, the documents, and of course his fees in letters, paradoxically delivered by my boys. The trick 'ere is that the postmark in the letters was from a different town every time, and Mr. Morgan's payment for the house was put in a bank account that doesn't exist anymore."

"That isn't even proof that Boggs was in those towns," Buck remarked. "He might have sent one of his henchmen to post his mail."

"You're right, son," Teaspoon agreed. "But I imagine Colonel Adams will want to check them out anyway."

"At least it's something," Cody added. "That's more than you had so far."

Teaspoon nodded with slow motions, and for a few minutes the room remained in total silence until Kid spoke up again. "So in short that means we do have to pack up our things and leave, doesn't it?"

"I'm afraid so," Teaspoon replied.

Louise sighed. "What are we gonna do now? Where are we gonna live? We have so much to pack in just two days… and the animals… Oh God, what are we gonna do with 'em?"

"Lou, don't panic. We could stay in a hotel room for a few days, you know, while we find alternative accommodation," Kid suggested, and Lou gave him an exasperated look, evidently unhappy with his proposal. "And if Teaspoon doesn't object to it, the animals can be housed at the station temporarily."

"No problem at all," the marshal agreed promptly.

Lou was not even listening anymore. Kid's suggestion was a sound one, but she was too upset to accept any alternative options. "Kid, you know we don't have enough money to purchase a similar property, not even a close second! That's our home, the seed of our dreams and plans! How are we supposed to maintain our small business if we are snatched out of its main element?"

"Lou, right now there are more urgent matters to think of than our business… well, if you can call it that."

"If you let me step in," Rachel politely piped up before another word was uttered. "I think I have a better solution." The couple stared at her with a curious frown, and the station mistress continued, "I can understand Lou's reluctance to settle in a hotel room. That's hardly the place you'd build your nest, even temporarily. But … what if you came to stay at the station with us? There's an extra room in my house you could use. I know it ain't the ideal location for a young, married couple, but it's better than other options."

"You're very kind, Rachel," Lou replied. "You… all of you are already doing too much for us, and we can't impose our presence any more."

"Louise, you wouldn't be imposing," Rachel disagreed with her younger friend. "We're family, and it'd be a pleasure for us to have you here."

Kid and Lou shared a look. The Southerner smiled, obviously encouraging his wife to accept the station mistress's offer. Yet, Lou was still reluctant. "Rachel, you well know why my father's had us evicted. He's using all the means in his power to defeat us, to make our life unbearable. I'm actually surprised he hadn't tried harder so far. That's why this new maneuver hasn't taken me off guard. I expected and expect him to do anything to win. It ain't just about Wicks. Actually, Wicks might even have lost interest in me by now… he's kind of fickle, especially when there's trouble. However, my father won't let up, because he just can't have us win over him. That would be too much for his pride, and I'm sure he's planning more tricks to punish me for my obvious betrayal. He won't rest until he gets his revenge. For this reason I don't want you to get caught in the crossfire. I'm sure he'll make an enemy out of anyone who tries to help us."

"Then he already has an enemy in me," Jimmy said after Lou had finished.

"And me," Cody agreed, and one by one all the riders voiced their loyalty to their friends.

"Louise, I know life hasn't been too kind to you," Rachel said. "But things won't have to be like this forever. Here's our chance to prove we're really fond of you and your husband. Please let us show you we're being serious. We don't care about the consequences. If you accept, you'd actually be doing us a favor. It's not every day you have the chance to do right for your dear ones."

Lou smiled a very tiny smile. "If you put it that way, how can I refuse?"

Her acceptance was followed by a chorus of whoops, and Kid squeezed her hand affectionately. Lou's eyes directed to his, and the strange dull light Kid saw in them told him the rest of the story Lou had stumbled upon another obstacle in her way. After his previous reassurances and the hope of walking on the right path, they received a new blow, which knocked down his positive views. He still believed that nothing could defeat them, but it was difficult to stand up after being the constant aim of too many attacks. Kid knew he could resist anything for Lou, but he feared what this new problem would do to her already low spirits, but one thing was clear. He would stand by her no matter what.


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 66**

"To love and marriage!" Teaspoon exclaimed, raising his cup brimmed with red wine. "And of course to the happy couple!"

A chorus of voices ensued, echoing the marshal's toast, followed by cups clicking together. The red grape juice flowed down their throats as they drank to the young couple's happiness. It was a special day, and Teaspoon had lifted the alcohol ban for the occasion. Just yesterday Buck had announced he had proposed to Jennifer Tompkins, and she had accepted. Rachel had then decided they should have a celebration, which, after the critical spell they were going through, would be like April rain. Everybody was there, which was not so uncommon lately. The rides were dwindling, a clear sign that the end of the Pony Express was dangerously close.

Buck and Jenny's engagement was the only joy the makeshift Express family had received in a long time. Things had been more than tense. The imminent war was playing havoc on the whole town, and one could almost feel the animosity among the folks in the atmosphere. The same hostile feelings had also passed onto the way station when its residents positioned themselves as supporters of either side of the conflict. The situation had highly hardened the day Cody had announced he had joined up.

At his announcement Teaspoon had hit the ceiling, and serious, hurtful recriminations were exchanged in the bunkhouse. Fortunately, tempers had gradually calmed down. Both sides of the argument had admitted that they could not let a war turn them into enemies. Everything they had lived together in this time could not be erased because of a conflict that had nothing to do with them as a family. There was a single conclusion to reach. They needed to see past their differences. This war would definitely affect everybody in some way or other – actually, the family was already suffering consequences – but they all intended to stick together like Teaspoon had always said.

"When exactly are you two getting married?" Lou asked with a smile.

"In three weeks," Buck replied, sharing a loving look with his wife-to-be. "The longest three weeks of my whole life."

"You'll survive, Buck," Kid remarked, tapping his friend on the back.

"And I'm willing to help you to shorten your wait," Cody quipped. "You know, keeping busy makes time pass more quickly, so I'm quite ready to sacrifice and let you do my chores."

"How unselfish of you, Cody," Jimmy remarked sarcastically.

"Besides, we already do your share every day," Noah added. "You're seldom at the station anymore."

"That's because I have my own responsibilities in the army," Cody retorted, not a single trace of amusement in his voice.

Fearing that tempers could flare easily, Rachel felt she had to step in. Things had been smooth so far, but the tiniest spark could ignite the dormant fire among the riders. "And Jenny, tell us a bit about your plans. Are we gonna be in a real Indian marriage ceremony?"

Buck and Jenny shared a knowing look before the young woman spoke up. "We'd really like to, but we've decided to get married here in Rock Creek. My father would have a tantrum if I wasn't married in church." Noticing some disagreeing expressions on her friends' faces, she hurried to explain herself. "I know this is my wedding, and I should have it the way I like. Yet, my father suffered too much when my mother and I were kept captive for all those years. Even though it wasn't my fault, I feel I owe him some kind of compensation. So it doesn't hurt me to marry the way he's always dreamed of."

"That's very sweet of you, Jenny," Rachel commented with a wide smile.

The blonde, younger woman shook her head. "Actually, it's nothing. I just want to marry Buck, and I don't really care how. The actual wedding is important to my father, so why not give him something that will make him happy? It took me a while to understand him and his peculiarities, but now we've managed to reach an understanding. He's willing to accept me the way I am, and I'm happy to have him as a father."

"I've always known Bill was a good fella despite everythin'," Teaspoon commented.

"Thanks," Jenny replied, pleased and proud after hearing those words.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," the marshal answered. "But I'm afraid you ain't gonna like what I gotta say now. Boys, lunch's over. Time to go back to work."

His announcement was followed by a chorus of protests and moans. "Teaspoon, can't you let us be even today?" Cody asked in a whining voice "It's a special day, and we have guests."

"Son, if it were up to you, every day would be special," the marshal replied with a crooked grin. "I'm sure Jennifer understands we still have a station to run."

"Life doesn't stop just because Buck and I are now engaged."

"Thanks for your help, Jenny," Cody said sarcastically as he followed his fellow riders out of the bunkhouse.

When the women were left by themselves, they started to clear the table. Rachel pumped out some water to do the dishes and said, "Louise, I' making a batch of ginger cookies after washing up. Maybe I can teach you how to make them now."

"Sure," Lou replied promptly. Rachel's ginger cookies were a piece of heaven, and Louise had wanted to know how to make them for a long time. Her cooking skills had improved notably over the last months, but she wanted to get better. When one day she and Kid moved to a place of their own again, she wanted to be able to manage herself in a kitchen the way she liked.

"Can I stay and have a look too?" Jenny asked. "I ain't any good at baking, and I could make do with a lesson or two."

"Course you can, honey," Rachel replied while she washed the dishes from lunch. Louise had taken the position next to her, and rinsed whatever Rachel handed her while Jenny wiped everything dry.

After a silent lapse, Lou turned to the soon-wife-to be, and smiled. "I'm really glad for you and Buck. You're made for each other… anybody can see it."

"Yes, just like you and Kid," Jenny remarked.

Lou kept quiet for a few seconds, deep in thought. "Yeah…" she finally replied in a very vague tone.

At Louise's strange attitude Rachel and Jenny exchanged a confused look, both of them sensing Lou was not saying something. "Anything wrong, Louise?"

"No… it's just… I just wish I could have with Kid what Jenny and Buck have. That's all," Lou explained awkwardly.

"And what exactly do I have which you don't?" asked Jennifer.

"A marriage proposal. You know, Kid never proposed to me, and… and… I sometimes wonder whether we'd be together today if our fathers hadn't made us marry."

"Louise, Kid loves you!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Yes, I know. I don't doubt that, but… well… it's nice to know your man chose you freely. Of course, that wasn't his fault. He was never given the chance, but I can't help but wonder."

"From the sounds I hear from my bedroom at night I can tell that given the chance, Kid wouldn't propose to you once, but a hundred times."

At her words, Louise blushed to the roots of her hair, and the plate she was rinsing almost slipped from her hands. "I… I'm sorry," she stuttered shyly. "We never meant to disturb you or…"

"Louise, you don't need to apologize," Rachel cut in. "It's natural for you to want to be with your husband, and that doesn't disturb me at all. It'd be worrying if there was just silence coming from your bedroom."

Lou smiled, still embarrassed but thankful for her friend's words, which made her feel more at ease. "Kid's very passionate. Well, I guess we both are. And… there's this strange underlying fear we feel very strongly. We don't know if one day destiny will pull us apart. We never talk about it, or even mention it, but we do know that's one of the reasons we turn to each other every night."

"Do you still believe your father will try to get to you? It's been months," Jenny asked.

"He won't give in. I know as much," Lou replied sadly. "This is something I've already resigned myself to. He firmly believes I belong to nobody but him, and he won't let go. That's why my time with Kid is so precious."

"Things don't need to be so negative," Rachel pointed out. "Your husband for once thinks otherwise."

Lou cracked a small smile. "Yeah… he's my eternal optimist… so naïve. I love that about him."

"Why can't it be right, Lou?" Jenny asked, outraged at hearing her friend sound so defeatist. "This family won't let anything happen to either of you! These boys have fought bandits, crooks, murderers, and the weather to get their mail pouches to their destinations. You should give them a bit of credit."

"I know but…"

"No buts, Lou!" Jenny cut her off roughly. She was not angry with her friend, but upset about the situation Louise had to put up with. It was so unfair. "You need to change your attitude. There's no bigger enemy but yourself. If you keep thinking in such a fatalistic way, the battle is lost before starting. You need to trust and believe in your husband, the man who loves you, nobody else."

"It ain't that easy," Louise muttered.

"Course it isn't," Rachel added. "But honey, you have lots of people who love you. Don't you think that's way stronger than a single man's plotting?"

"I guess so."

"Then trust us, please," Rachel added. "Think about the bright future you and Kid are gonna have for once. Because it's gonna happen."

Lou could not share her friends' views, but despite her own feelings, she felt thankful for their support. "Thanks, girls. You're so good to me."

"And now let's get down to making those cookies," Rachel announced as she wiped her hands dry on a tea towel. "You know, men love them, and, ladies, I'm afraid you're gonna have to make them for your dear husbands until you're all wrinkled. And I really mean it, Louise."

Lou could not help but grin. "And I hope you're right. I really do."


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 67**

The outline of a rider against the midday sun appeared on the horizon and after a short halt the man sent his horse into a gallop towards the station. The arrival of the rider had always been welcomed by a bunch of those living on the property in the good days of the Pony Express, but since rides had waned and the threats of war waxed, it was not uncommon to find the yard and the bunkhouse porch deserted on arriving.

Cody dismounted his horse slowly as nostalgia over happier times spread all over his soul. Things had definitely changed. There had been no pouch to carry in Seneca, and since this was the norm lately, there was no rider waiting either. This would not be the last difference they would suffer. Soon Cody would have to hand in his notice to Teaspoon. The army unit he was assigned to in Rock Creek would soon ride away, and he would have to say goodbye to his friends… his brothers, without the certainty when, if ever, he would see them again.

After tethering his horse to a post, he collected his saddle bags and stalked into the bunkhouse. As soon as he opened the door, a chorus of greetings welcomed him as well as the mouth-watering smell of Rachel's cooking. _'Some things never change,_' Cody thought as he sat down at the table. A plate was soon placed before him, and like usual the rider started to dig in ravenously. "Oh Rachel, this is a piece of heaven," Cody exclaimed at the same time he munched bite after bite. "I'm sure gonna miss your cooking. I wish I could take you with me."

"Any news from the army?" Teaspoon asked seriously.

Cody shook his head and his mood instantly sank. "I'll check in with Colonel Erbach later. I don't think it'll be much longer."

"Things are getting pretty nasty in the east," Noah pointed out.

"Jenny overheard a few of the soldiers in the store that your unit might be leaving at the end of the week," Buck added.

Cody nodded, and as his appetite extraordinarily shrank, he simply kept toying with the food on his plate. "At least, I won't leave you high and dry. It's clear the Pony Express is inching to its death."

"I gather there was no mochila to bring back today either?" Kid asked rhetorically in a sullen mood, wondering what he would do when he was out of work. Maybe that would be the cue for him and Lou to leave Rock Creek. Apart from the family he had found at the station, nothing else tied them down to the town. Actually, leaving would be the best option as it might mean escaping from Lou's father's menacing shadow. That was what they should do, but in fact, neither he nor Lou wanted to go.

"No," Cody replied, and as he glimpsed at his Southern friend, he remembered something. "But I have a letter for you. It was waiting for you in Seneca."

"A letter?" Kid asked and grabbed the envelope Cody had taken out of his pocket and stretched to him.

"What is it, Kid?" Lou said, perusing the letter over her husband's shoulder. "It looks quite official."

"Yes," the Southerner agreed while he ripped the envelope open, Without wasting one second, he started reading the letter, and his blue eyes gradually widened and his face adopted the most varied expressions from surprise and puzzlement to utter confusion. "I… I don't understand. This must be a mistake."

Louise frowned in wonder, and without ceremony she snatched the paper from her husband's grasp, and eagerly read its contents. Her expression mirrored that of Kid's as she was struck by shock. "It… it says we're divorced," she stammered, completely aghast.

"Divorced?" Jimmy echoed as if he did not understand the word.

"It can't be!" Kid exclaimed. "We never filed for a divorce… I never handed in the papers. We can't be divorced. It's impossible… impossible."

"May I have a look at that letter?" Teaspoon asked, and, as Lou passed the letter onto him, the marshal read word by word carefully. "This document seems genuine. I got a few of these myself after my marriages busted."

"Teaspoon, it's impossible. The divorce papers we signed never left my house!" Kid insisted.

"Are you completely sure, Kid?" Buck questioned warily.

"Of course I am! I put them in one of the drawers of my desk in the study, and I didn't touch them again."

"But they weren't there," Lou added as a shiver run all through her body. "I emptied every single drawer when we packed our things. I didn't see them."

Kid stared at his wife for a few seconds as he tried to remember if he had misplaced those papers. In any case, that did not matter. What he was completely sure of is that they could not be divorced because he had never taken the last step to complete the procedures for their divorce. However, fear gripped his heart for what the letter stated, and he suddenly jumped into action. "This is a mistake, a lie, and I'll prove it," he said as he rose to his feet, and shoved the letter into his pocket. Stopping before the door, he turned to look at his wife. "Don't worry. Everything's gonna be all right. We're married, and we'll be forever."

Lou nodded hesitantly, and even managed to form a small smile. Her eyes followed her husband as he grabbed his hat, placed it on his head, and stalked out of the bunkhouse. Fear and sadness engulfed her completely. She was sure that what that letter said was true, and Kid was not her husband anymore. This was surely another blow from her father. Somehow he had managed to delete the marriage he had concocted himself in the first place. That did not surprise Lou. Her father always got to do what he wanted no matter what, resorting to whatever was needed. Breaking their marriage would mean a rift in their defenses, which left her unprotected. Kid was now nothing to her, and without him she was vulnerable to face the stormy weather all alone.

* * *

Without bothering to knock, Kid stormed inside the small office while the shrill voice of a woman sounded behind him. "Hutchinson, we need to talk," he said without preambles as he stood in front of the lawyer.

Mr. Hutchinson, sitting at his imposing mahogany desk, was dealing with a client, and as Kid bolted inside, his creased forehead and bewildered gaze clearly expressed he was anything but pleased by the abrupt interruption.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Hutchinson. I told this gentleman you were busy, but he barged past me like a raging bull," the secretary said, glaring in Kid's direction.

"It's all right, Judith," Mr. Hutchinson said. "Mr. Douglas and I have finished." The lawyer's tone spoke just the opposite of what he had said, but his manners were impeccable. The secretary nodded, and left the office as she walked the other client to the exit. "What can I do for you?" the lawyer asked when the door closed behind Nancy and Mr. Douglas.

Without uttering a single word, Kid placed the letter he had received in the lawyer's hands. Mr. Hutchinson curiously scanned the contents of the paper, but his face did not register any reaction. When he finished reading, he raised his eyes to Kid, and asked, "So?"

"What does that mean?"

"I reckon the language is quite straightforward. No riddles whatsoever," Mr. Hutchinson replied in a too patronizing tone. "But well, let me rephrase it for you. This means you and your Missus are no longer married. The divorce takes effect from this date onwards."

"But… but how can that be? We never completed the whole procedure. You know that," Kid said, totally lost and confused.

His words managed to draw the lawyer's attention for the first time, and the man's facial expression was a give-away of certain information that he was privy to. "I beg your pardon?"

Even though Kid now knew Mr. Hutchinson had the answer to his questions, he did not rush him, and tried to keep as cool as possible. "I never brought you the divorce papers because my wife and I changed our minds."

Mr. Hutchinson coughed uncomfortably, foreseeing that he was definitely in some trouble. "But… but you sent your lady friend, Mrs. Maxwell."

"Doritha…" Kid breathed with a totally flabbergasted expression.

"She handed me your papers, and said she was doing you a favor while you were out of town. Everything was in order, every single paper signed, and she even paid for my fees."

"She lied… that wasn't my idea," Kid muttered to himself as he brought his mind back a few months ago. Rachel had said something about Doritha's farewell present. He had never thought about it again, but now he realized this was her gift, or rather her revenge. Now things made sense. Doritha must have broken into his house and found the divorce papers. That can't have been too difficult. She had stayed in the house for a while, so she knew where he kept all his documents.

"I'm really sorry. I'd never have imagined something like this could happen," Mr. Hutchinson tried to apologize.

"It ain't really your fault," Kid replied. "I just want to know if there's a way to undo this mess. I love my wife, and we want to stay married.

The lawyer dared to smile for the first time. "Oh that's easy to do."

"Really?" Kid exclaimed, his face lighting up at once.

"Sure. Easy as pie. Just marry her again."

* * *

Lying on her side and with her head resting on her flexed arm, Louise watched Kid get ready for bed. This was just part of their routine. Every night Lou got into bed and patiently waited for him to come to her after finishing his last chores around the station. Lou loved to watch Kid move around the room, carefully shedding his clothes. There was something special about him which always managed to move her, even in the tiniest detail. Yet, tonight her mood was at its lowest ebb, and she saw everything in a different light. This man who held her whole heart had become a stranger overnight just because the law said so. He was no longer her husband, her eternal companion, and even though her feelings had not changed a bit, a huge abyss had risen between them.

When Kid had stripped down to his long johns and put out the light, he slid into the bed and his arms instantly wrapped around Lou's body. "You know, we shouldn't be doing this," she said, staring into his eyes in the dark.

"What do you mean?"

"Sleep together," Lou elaborated. "We're not married, and technically, we're living in sin."

"Come on, Lou. Nothing has to change because a bitter woman played a dirty trick on us!" Kid exclaimed. "I love you, and you love me, don't you?"

"Yes…"

"That's what matters. Besides, we'll marry as soon as we can. I'll talk to Teaspoon when he gets back from St. Joseph."

"Yeah…" Louise let out in a melancholic tone, adopting a faraway look that even in the dark Kid did not miss noticing.

"What's wrong, Lou?"

"Nothing… nothing," she replied, repeating the word as if that would make it sound truer.

"Don't give me that, honey. Please talk to me."

Louise took a deep breath, and lowered her head to her hands, which were playing with the undone buttons of his long johns top. "I was thinking about us… about our marriage, our wedding… our first wedding."

"What about it?"

"I never had a say in it. I couldn't choose anything… not even my husband-to-be. I didn't have what all girls usually have… no special dress, no guests, and no flowers in a church, no reception… I didn't even have a proposal."

Kid caressed her face softly. "Yes, it's true, and I didn't have the decency to ask you this time either."

Lou smirked teasingly. "Yes, Mister, and you just assumed I was easy, but maybe that's not so."

As soon as her half-serious words were out of her mouth, Kid grinned, and taking her hand in his, he intertwined his fingers with hers. "Lou," he started, gazing intently into her big eyes, "will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Despite everything they had shared in this year, Lou felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment. Thankfully, in the dark room he could not see her blush. His solemn air made him appear too charming, but despite her awkwardness, Lou was in the mood to tease him a bit more. "I'll have to think about it," she replied, winking her right eye in a flirtatious way.

"Will you? For how long?"

"Dunno, but I promise you'll be the first to know," Lou replied in the same light tone, which made both of them chuckle together. Today had been one of those days they were so used to lately, and a bit of humor was more than welcome. It seemed they were learning to cope with problems in a whole different way, and a pinch of laughter always managed to relieve some of the weight from their shoulders.

The couple remained in silence, listening to the scarce sounds of the night. The soft whisper of their combined breaths dominated the moment for a while, and that harmonious atmosphere was abruptly broken by Kid's voice. "Lou, do you really mean what you said? Do you actually want a big wedding with the dress, the guests, and all the trimmings?"

"I… don't know," Lou replied, visibly taken aback by his question.

"To be totally frank with you, honey, I just want to be married to you, and I don't care how it happens. Our first wedding was pathetic, to say the least, but that's not important. What matters to me is what we lived after that, what we shared and share every single day."

"I also feel the same," Lou replied, somehow ashamed of her own ridiculous wishes compared to Kid's passionate declaration. "I guess all this fuss about the arrangements for Jenny and Buck's wedding got me in a silly mood."

"It ain't silly, Lou. I'd love to give you everything to make you happy… the beautiful wedding you deserve. Unfortunately, we need to get our priorities straight."

"I know. As long as we remain single, we're in a more vulnerable state than before."

"Yes," Kid agreed in a sad voice. "And apart from that, there are other things to take into account. The Pony Express is coming to an end, and I've lately been considering something I was first totally against."

"What is that?"

"Leaving," Kid said and at Louise's logical surprised expression he went on. "Lou, I know how you feel about it, and I wish there was another option, but there isn't. I really thought the army would end up catching your father, but I'm starting to believe that won't happen."

"I told you so," Lou replied. "But leaving Rock Creek and everybody? I don't know."

"Lou, everybody will go in different directions as soon as the Express dies. Cody's been the first, but do you think the others will stay when there's no work left for them?"

"I guess not."

"I've been thinking this through for too long. Living in constant fear ain't what I want for us. One day hopefully we'll have children, and that would definitely make everything more difficult."

"And do you think we can have a safer existence by just changing our location? My father might eventually find us. Are we supposed to keep moving from place to place? How can we even think of forming a family like that?"

"Lou, there are some ways to keep safe without being on the run all the time. I've thought we could try our luck in another country… for example, Canada."

"Canada…" Louise exhaled as the idea of moving so far away suddenly felt too real and scary.

"And we could go by other names."

"Other names?" Lou echoed as an automaton.

"That way your father won't be able to find us. What's your middle name?"

"Uh… Anne."

"I don't know if I'll get used to calling you Anne, but we'll have to make the effort. It's for our own welfare… and our future."

"I know you're right, but I can't help but feel very sad," Lou added.

"This ain't easy for me either, but we need to do it."

"So when are we leaving?" Lou asked, gradually coming to terms with her new situation.

"I have to talk to Teaspoon, but I think we could be ready to go after Buck's wedding. That way we can have plenty of time to arrange everything."

"Yes," Lou replied in a sorrowful tone.

"Even though going away will be painful, that will mean a fresh start for us… without worries and in total freedom, just as we were before."

"I know you're right," Louise said again, but her voice did not perk up.

"Come on, Lou. Don't sound so low and give me a little hopeful smile from your beautiful lips." Despite everything, Louise could not help but grin when Kid pouted exaggeratedly and looked at her with silly-begging eyes. "That's my girl," he exclaimed, and his right arm, wrapped around her slim waist, drew her even closer to him, so close that their chins and noses softly touched. "And well, now that our situation's changed, what about exploring it a little? You know, see what living in sin is like?" As he talked, his hands enticingly moved up and down her back.

Louise could not help but giggle as a shiver course all over her body. "Kid, you're terrible."

"Yes, but you love me."

"I do, I can't deny that," Lou replied half-amused, half-serious.

"So what do you say about sinning a little?"

Lou smiled, and without a single word, she snuggled closer and her lips met his with sheer passion. That first kiss would not stop there, and once again like almost every single night their bodies responded in unison, moving to the rhythm of some silent music that they could only hear.


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter 68**

"You look absolutely breath-taking," Rachel breathed as she looked at Jenny's reflection in the mirror over the young bride's head. The station mistress stood next to Louise behind the girl, admiring her beauty on her big day.

In just an hour Jenny would be getting married, and Rachel and Louise had come this morning to help the bride to get ready. They were in Jenny's bedroom and for a moment silence was complete as the two women beheld their friend. Jenny's wedding dress was adoringly simple, white with plain sleeves and a loose-fitting bodice, the skirt reaching just above her ankles. Her blonde, long hair hung down her back with just a fine braid encircling the back of her head like a crown. She wore no veil, and the only extra ornaments were the small, white lilies embedded in her braid.

"Are you nervous?" Lou asked as she noticed her friend's hands almost white from being held together too tightly.

"Very…" Jenny admitted, letting out an involuntary giggle.

Rachel smiled. "Everything will be fine, but I grant you it's natural to feel jittery. I was so nervous myself I even felt nauseous. It happens to all women on their wedding day, doesn't it, Louise?" Rachel concluded, turning to Lou for support.

"Well, I wasn't nervous," Lou remarked, and at her two friends' frowning expressions she added, "I was terrified." Pausing to let out a sigh, she continued, "Kid was a stranger to me, and all I could think of was the worst scenarios I might be liable to live with him."

"But he proved you wrong," Jenny pointed out.

"Yes, that was something I never expected. I have no words to describe what he means to me now, how my life changed."

"And… and when are you leaving?" Jenny asked the dreaded question. Kid and Lou's announcement they would shortly say goodbye to Rock Creek had felt like a jet of freezing water straight to their faces. Everybody understood their reasons behind the couple's decision, but that did not make the fact easier to digest.

"On Friday," Lou replied reluctantly.

"So soon?" Rachel exclaimed in a shrieking tone.

"Well, we don't have too many things to pack, and just yesterday Kid sold the last animals," Lou said. "The money will let us get by for a while… at least until we settle down."

"But weren't you planning to marry again? What about the wedding?" Jenny asked.

"Don't tell me you're thinking of getting married without us!" Rachel added in the same tone.

"Girls, please, calm down. You know we ain't gonna make a fuss over our wedding… if we get to marry."

"If?" Rachel asked, arching an eyebrow in surprise. "You sure mean when, don't you?"

"Uh… yes, yes," Louise replied quickly. "Kid hasn't mentioned the matter again, and neither have I. We have other more urgent things to see to."

"Do I notice a certain tinge of sadness in your voice?" Jenny dared to ask.

"No! Of course not!" Lou promptly denied. "I'm fine with that. I'm just surprised that he hasn't said anything when he knows our position is quite vulnerable. I know Kid loves me, and I'm being silly. That's all." Louise sighed, and shaking her head to shush her thoughts, she exclaimed, "But let's stop all this chit-chat about me. This is Jenny's big day, and we shouldn't brood about all this. Today is a happy occasion… it's gonna be a beautiful wedding, and we'll remember it for the rest of our lives."

Little did Lou know that her words ran truer than she could ever have thought. Indeed, that would be a day that would be in their memories for the rest of their lives, but for very different reasons… too different indeed.

* * *

Buck and Jenny became husband and wife in a simple, but moving, ceremony. Jennifer's uncle from her mother's side was a clergyman, and had traveled all the way from California to marry his niece. During the service, the man shared with the attendees more than one anecdote from Jennifer's childhood, which had brought a few smiles to the congregation.

When the wedding was over and Buck and Jenny were Mr. and Mrs. Cross everybody moved to the station to celebrate the happy union. Tables brimmed with food and punch had been set all around the ample yard, and a music band was also playing. Given his professional activity, Tompkins was a very well-know citizen in Rock Creek and had invited almost the whole town to the wedding. That was evidence of how proud the man was of his daughter. He had been resistant to the idea that his only daughter would end up marrying one of those savages, as he used to denominate Indians. In fact, he and Buck had a rocky start, but with time the situation had changed. Actually, Tompkins had grown fond of the young man, and it was obvious, at least for the store owner, that Buck exerted a very positive influence on his daughter. Since she had returned from the east and let Buck court her, Jenny was calmer and not so rebellious. So despite everything, the store owner had to admit to himself that Buck was the perfect match for his daughter, and he could even say he really liked his now son-in-law.

The station was overflowing with people that were glad to celebrate and toast to the newlyweds' happiness. Jenny was obviously in her element, but Buck was a bit overwhelmed and could not wait for all those people to go so that he could have his wife to himself. To make matters worse, right now he was uncomfortably squeezed in Mrs. Harper's chubby cheeks as they danced together. Mrs. Harper was Jenny's year-long neighbor, and had hogged Buck's company for almost an hour now, engaging him in a so-called conversation, which in reality was an endless monologue from the woman's lips. The woman was incredibly loquacious, and she would not stop talking even as they danced.

Buck's tired expression was too obvious to anybody who was there to watch, and as he lifted his eyes from the woman's face for a few seconds, he noticed Kid walking across, holding a few punch glasses in his hands. The Southerner was grinning on realizing his friend's predication, and as he went past Buck and his dancing partner, he even winked at him teasingly. Not finding the situation amusing at all, Buck sent a murdering glare at Kid, but the Southerner's grin widened even more.

Kid kept walking across the yard with the same grin on his face, and when he reached his target, he said, "Here are your drinks."

"Thanks, son," Teaspoon replied with a smile as he and Rachel took the glasses from the young man.

"Where's Lou?" he asked, his smile fading when he realized she was not where he had left her a few minutes ago. His eyes eagerly scanned the dozens of people around him, but he could not spot her.

"Stop fretting, worrywart! She's over there," Rachel said, pointing at Louise, who was actually just a few feet from where they stood, talking to Jimmy.

Kid smiled. "Yes, I worry too much. I can't help it."

"Relax, son. Enjoy the party. I assure you Louise won't vanish into thin air under your very nose."

"Yes, I know, but I'm afraid for her… I can't help it," Kid admitted. "I know her father seems to have vanished into thin air, but I can't let my guard down."

"At least today you should stop worrying so much," Rachel added. "Go to your wife… I mean… Louise and enjoy the day. Come on."

Kid tilted his head politely and excused himself before doing what the station mistress had told him to do. The Southerner shuffled towards Louise. Jimmy had wandered off somewhere else, and she was now on her own, watching the dancing couples. Without any warning, Kid slid an arm around her waist, and unexpected as it was, Lou jumped startled, hitting the glass Kid was holding and caused the punch to spill onto the front of her white blouse. "Oh Lou, I'm sorry," Kid apologized, using a handkerchief to wipe the stain. "Look what I've done. What a clumsy oaf! Me spoiling your lovely blouse, and you look like an angel today!"

"Kid, it ain't such a big deal," Lou replied. "I'll just get changed."

"I'll go with you then," Kid offered, gently getting hold of her hand as an indication he really intended to walk with her to the house.

However, Lou stopped his intentions. Disengaging herself from his hold, she placed a restraining hand on his chest while she said, "No, you won't. Knowing you, I'm sure you'll volunteer to help me out of this blouse."

"Any problem with that?" Kid asked with an amused grin.

"Yes, because you won't stop at that, Mister, and you know we can't just go stray at Buck's wedding."

Kid shrugged his shoulders. "Can't help it. You simply drive me crazy, and in any case, Buck won't even notice."

Lou shook her head. "Just wait for me here. I'll be back in no time."

"All right," Kid replied in resignation, and just then a tap on his shoulder drew his attention. Turning around, he found Buck looking at him with a smug smile on his face. "Kid, I told Mrs. Harper you'd love to dance with her, but you're too shy to ask."

"There's no reason to be shy, boy," the woman exclaimed, letting out a sonorous peal of laughter.

"I… I…" Kid stammered, racking his brains to find an excuse to get out of this situation. It was known that the woman's reputation of talking so much that even rocks got bored was not a legend, but the truth. Buck was now trying to have his little revenge on him for teasing him before, and he sure knew how to play his cards.

"Look at him!" Mrs. Harper exclaimed in the same loud tone. "Stuttering like a small child. So cute!" Lou and Buck could not help but share a grin in amusement while Mrs. Harper hooked her arm around Kid's. "Come on; let's show all those bores how to dance for real."

As Kid was forced to follow Mrs. Harper's lead, Buck chuckled, watching the strange pair. "You're such a devil," Lou said, elbowing him on the side. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

"What can I say? I couldn't have all the fun for myself. I had to share it with my dear friends," Buck defended himself in jest, and as Lou shook her head in reprimand, he added, "Lou, it's my wedding day, and I can't stand the punishment Mrs. Harper is. Besides, Kid deserves it for making fun of me."

Lou did not say anything, just smiled. Shifting her eyes, she saw Kid dancing with a resigned expression, and as she scanned the other people, she noticed somebody else. "Your new wife seems to be a bit lonely."

"Oh finally," Buck exclaimed, and before somebody could beat him, he dashed towards Jenny. They hugged as if they had not seen each other for months, and as the music continued playing, they started dancing slowly.

Lou smiled at the sweet scene, and then headed for Rachel's white-washed house to get changed. As she slid inside, she stopped before the mirror next to the front door and had a look at her reflection. Louise shook her head when she noticed the poor state of her beautiful, white blouse. A big, reddish stain covered her front, and she feared the spot would not go no matter how many times she soaked and washed it. Rachel had made and embroidered the garment, and gave it to her as a special present, so Lou would hate it if the blouse would get ruined the first time she got to wear it.

As she continued studying her reflection, suddenly, her face paled when an unexpected image appeared in the mirror behind her. A gasp left her lips, and her reaction was instantaneous. She dashed for the door. However, her intentions were smashed when a strong hand grabbed her by the nape of her neck, and forcefully banged her face against the door. "Where do you think you're going, Louise? You ungrateful, little minx."

The impact was so strong that Lou thought her head was going to explode, and a surge of bile hit her powerfully. Thankfully, she managed to control herself from retching. "Please," she managed to whisper as she turned to look at her father.

"What the hell did you intend to do? Escape? Come on, do it. Just make a dash and go," Boggs exclaimed, placing his tall, thin body before the front door and pointing at the back door across the living room. Lou's timid eyes followed his finger and an involuntary shiver shook her body when she saw Wick's imposing figure appear in the middle of Rachel's dainty house. Lou did not move, and remained hunchbacked against the front door frame. Her indecision seemed to anger Boggs, who without any contemplation grabbed Lou by the neck again, and yanked her further into the house. Pushing her against a wall, he released her neck, but kept a strong hold on her.

"You're the biggest, traitor I have ever come across! And believe me, I've met too many weasels in this life," he barked, bringing his face very close to Lou's. "My own daughter selling me to those stiff blue uniforms! You're the cause of my total ruin, and I should kill you right now." Lou kept quiet, cursing herself for stopping Kid from escorting her to the house, and at the same time praying for someone to appear. "But despite myself, I'm your father, and I won't accept more of your tomfoolery. I already expressed my wishes clearly, and you are to obey and do what I, your father, tell you. You are to marry Wicks like you should have done a long time ago."

"But Kid…" Lou tried, but did not manage to say more than two words because Boggs cut in abruptly.

"Kid nothing! Do you think I'm a fool and don't know my business? I'm well aware that poor farmer ain't your husband anymore! Don't waste my time anymore, girl, and let's get moving!"

Lou was panicking and in her frantic state she mustered the courage to speak up again. Right now she would rather die than face the destiny that appeared on her way threateningly. "You won't be able to get out of here."

Boggs snorted. "We got in, didn't we?" Wicks said behind his partner.

Lou told herself she would not give in. This was her fight, and she would not let herself be defeated so easily. "And you'll have to kill me because there's no way I'm gonna let you drag me out of here… I'll scream my lungs out and the dozens of people out there will be here in a second."

"Is that so?" Boggs asked with a strangely amused expression. "Did you hear that, Wicks?"

Wicks did not reply, but instead he came closer to father and daughter, and before Lou could react, he pressed a red, damp handkerchief against her mouth and nose. A strong, intoxicating stench rushed into her nostrils, and aware of what the handkerchief was soaked of, she tried to break free, kicking and thrashing. Yet, her strength was not enough, and soon her senses could not resist, and darkness wrapped around her, sending her into a profound, unwanted dream.


	70. Chapter 70

**Chapter 69**

The first thing she noticed was the warmth of the sun on her face, and as her senses gradually came back to her, she could feel her body rattling against the wood while the wagon went through rugged terrain. Her eyes shot open, and the dreaded voice of her father sounded, confirming that this was not a nightmare, but the cruelest reality. "Welcome to the world of the living."

Her hands were tied to the frame of the wagon, and after several attempts, she managed to raise her head. Wicks was driving the wagon and her father was sitting on the seat next to him with a shining gun in his hand. Lou frantically scanned the surroundings, but could not recognize where she was. Nothing before her gave her a clue of how far from Rock Creek they were, and she did not know either how long it had been since her father had forced her away from her home. In all probability Kid must be beside himself with worry, wondering where she was, but for all she knew he could not have realized yet that there was something wrong. There were so many people at the station that it might take some time before anybody noticed what had happened. When they did, she might be miles away. The idea that she had lost Kid forever as she had feared all along brought tears to her eyes, and as she furiously wiped them, she said, "Please father, you can't do this to me!"

"Why on earth not?" asked Boggs in a creepy amused way that filled Louise with apprehension.

"Because…" Lou started decidedly while racking her brain for something… a little something that could open a hopeful crevice in this dreadful nightmare. There was only one thing that would surely draw her father's attention, and almost without stopping to think, she blurted out, "Because I'm gonna have a baby."

All of a sudden, the carriage halted so sharply that Lou almost bumped her face against the wagon frame. "One moment," Wicks spoke up, looking straight at Boggs. "I ain't gonna raise another man's bastard."

"She's lying… you already know she's a compulsive liar."

"I'm not lying!" Lou exclaimed with passion, praying she could disguise her lies well enough to give her a chance. This could be her only way out, or at least, it might save her from Wicks. "Kid and I are gonna have a baby! We're gonna be parents of a very longed-for baby!"

"Shut up, you dirty liar!" Boggs barked, slapping his daughter across the face. The unexpected blow made her teeth bite the flesh of her lower lip, and blood dripped in her mouth.

"John, for your own welfare, I hope you're not trying to fool me again," Wicks said in a low menacing tone. "I won't be so understanding this time. I loathe lies and liars."

Lou was surprised by the authoritative tone Wicks had while talking to her father. Even though she had seen the two men together many times before, she had never noticed the nature of their relationship, or maybe she had never bothered to look. Her father was a very powerful man, but surprisingly Wicks now sounded as if he called the shots here. It was true that Wicks was also a very wealthy man, but she had always thought he was just a puppy under her father's orders. Yet, now this man was definitely not a puppy, but a ferocious mastiff.

"I swear I didn't lie," Boggs replied, caressing the gun in his hand, a menacing gesture that Lou did not miss. "The goose she was married to didn't have the guts or maybe wasn't man enough to perform his duties as a husband. He told me so himself. Their marriage was nothing but a farce."

"That's not true!" Lou exclaimed, unable to keep quiet when Kid's name and value were questioned. Her reaction would surely get her into trouble, but she did not care. "Kid and I loved each other… we love each other, and he's a better man than the two of you together! Neither of you holds a candle to the person he is!"

"Didn't you hear me?" Boggs barked. "Shut up!" A new blow accompanied his words, and Lou's hand flew to her sore mouth as a new gash broke on her lip.

Boggs then turned his eyes to Wicks who was looking at the empty space ahead, clearly deep in thought. "John, if she's with child, I need to know."

"She isn't! I…"

"The thing is that I don't trust your word anymore," Wicks said in a low tone. "Age is turning you into a clumsy duck, and your indecisiveness tires me. It's taken us months to do something about Louise, and I'm up to my ears with your ineptitude. From now on we'll do as I say."

Boggs did not even dare to contradict him. Wicks then slapped the reins against the horse and set the wagon back in motion. The animal had only taken a few long strides when the man pulled the reins and changed direction. Lou kept quiet in the back of the wagon, feeling panic creep into her soul. The way Wicks had talked repelled her and made her fear the worst. This was a horrible nightmare, the most terrifying nightmare that had haunted her for months. The nightmare had become a reality, a sordid reality. She wished she could close her eyes to the world and, and go to that place where there was no fear, no darkness, and where she could dream on.

* * *

Rachel and Teaspoon shared a concerned look for the umpteenth time that afternoon as Kid paced up and down the room, unable to keep still and gradually losing the little control he had. "Buck and Jimmy must have found her," pointed out Jenny, who was sitting next to the station mistress, already out of her wedding dress. "Otherwise, they'd already be back."

Kid stopped, and leaned against the window frame, looking desperately to the wide empty horizon. After a few seconds, he turned round and looked at the blonde, young woman. "Or maybe they haven't found any tracks," he contradicted her. "Who knows where they've taken her. Lou's father had eluded justice for decades. He's been planning this for months! Do you think he'd make it easier for us to find him?"

"Kid, you can't be so pessimistic! Boggs is a man, not a god!" Noah exclaimed.

The Southerner slumped down on a chair, running his fingers through his hair almost convulsively. "I don't know. I'm so scared," Kid whispered. Even though fear had been a present threat to his peace of mind for months, he had never really believed Lou could be absent from his life. Now it was a real, frightening possibility, and he was so scared he could not even think.

His life had been turned inside out a couple of hours ago when he had been unable to find Lou anywhere. Engaging his friends' help, he had searched the station up and down, and even the whole town, but in the end only one explanation was possible. This was what they had feared all along. Their suspicions got confirmed when an old lady had told Teaspoon she had seen two strange men prowling around the station. Then the marshal had taken charge and arranged search parties among the locals and the riders. So the men had split and ridden away in the hope of finding a clue that led them to find Louise. Kid had set off in the company of Noah and Teaspoon, but after an hour's fruitless search they had returned to the station with empty hands and desolate. Little by little the other men had also come back, with no better news. Jimmy and Buck were the only ones who were not back yet. They were Kid's only hope. Buck was a skilful tracker, and if someone could find Lou, it was him. But if his search proved to be barren as well, that would mean Kid would have to come to terms with the idea that Lou was gone for good.

Kid closed his eyes, and shook his head to shush the terrifying little voice that resounded in his mind. That would not happen, he told himself. Nothing in this world would make him give up on Lou, and if need be, he would walk the earth until he found her. Even if he had to spend the rest of his days looking for her, he would never cave in. Lou was his whole life, and without her, nothing else made sense.

The sound of the door opening drew everybody's attention at once. Buck's head timidly poked inside, and immediately afterwards he stepped into the room. At once he found himself surrounded by his concerned friends. Kid did not even move an inch. He did not even dare to breathe, and anxiously waited for Buck to get his breath back after his hard ride. "I found her," Buck finally blurted out.

Those three words set Kid off as if the gates of a dam had been opened and wild waters surge forward powerfully. In just a few long strides the Southerner came to stand before his friend, and his nerves took hold of his entire will. His hands grabbed Buck by the upper arms as question after question poured out of his lips. "Where's she? Is she all right? How come you left here there? And why…?"

"Kid, whoa! Hold your horses, please. I'll be pleased to answer all your questions, but I would feel more comfortable if I could feel the blood in my arms again."

Kid realized that indeed he was squeezing his friend's upper arms too tightly. Blushing, he released Buck from his firm hold, and muttered a shy apology. His attention, though, could not be diverted and Kid insisted, "Where is Lou, Buck?"

Buck breathed in before starting his account. "These two fellas are very clever, and, believe me, I was about to give in, but fortunately, I came across some tracks. They've tried to cover up their trace, but unfortunately for them, I'm a better tracker than they imagined," Buck explained with a coy smile, and as he noticed that Kid looked as if he was going to burst in tears at any moment, he hurried to finish his account. "Anyway, it took us about twenty minutes to find them. They had stopped to water the horses. Jimmy was ready to barge against them, but I stopped him. Lou was in a vulnerable position, and I was afraid she might get hurt in the crossfire. So we agreed we couldn't do anything with just the two of us. It was too dangerous. So I volunteered to get you, and here I am."

"How's Lou?" Kid asked.

"From what I could see, she looks fine, but I could spot a bruise on her right cheek and some traces of dry blood on her mouth."

"Bastards…" Kid cursed under his breath.

"Son, did you get to hear what those two were talkin' about?" Teaspoon asked this time.

Buck shook his head. "I'm afraid not. We didn't dare get that close, but as far as I could see, they hardly crossed a word."

"And all this talk is keeping us from getting to Lou!" Kid exclaimed impatiently as he quickly started buckling his gun belt. "My wife's in danger, and the longer it takes us, the fewer the odds for her."

"You're right, son. Let's ride and bring Lou home."

Soon the four men were ready to ride away. The women had come out to see them off. "Please keep safe, and bring Louise with you," Rachel said.

"We will," Teaspoon stated self-assuredly from atop his loyal horse.

Kid could not be so assertive, and did not dare to say a word. Fear still controlled his whole self. There was hope in his heart now, but even so, he was feeling totally lost. Only when he had Lou safely in his arms would he feel whole again. His hands squeezed Katy's reins tightly while he watched Buck and his bride of a few hours say goodbye. When the Kiowa mounted his horse beside Kid, the Southerner turned his eyes to him. "I'm really sorry this had to happen on your wedding day. It's not fair, and I greatly appreciate what you're doing for us, sacrificing the time you should be with your bride."

"Don't even mention it, Kid. Lou's family. Do you think I can enjoy my honeymoon while your wife is at the mercy of those two?"

"Thanks Buck. I owe you big," Kid said, affectionately patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Name your first-born after me, and call it even."

Kid smiled, and Teaspoon's voice resounded loud and clear. "Gentlemen, ready to ride?" The three other riders bobbed their heads up and down in unison, and in the same coordinated way they spurred their horses to a light canter, raising their left hands in goodbye to the women, and hoping that when they were to meet again, this nightmare would have become just a read-to-forget memory.


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 70**

Moving as if he did not have a body that could give him away, Jimmy followed Boggs and Wicks at a close but safe distance. The rider had intently been watching them behind shrubbery while the two men and Lou had stopped for a break on their way to wherever they were going. Even though he had strained to hear something and get wind of where they intended to head, Jimmy had not managed to learn anything. Therefore, he would not afford to lose them, otherwise, Lou might be gone forever, and he could never be able to forgive himself or face Kid.

The two men drove the wagon through a thick forest of pines and fir trees. Their progress was slow and arduous because of the wagon, and more than once either Wicks or Boggs had to get off and force the growing vegetation out of their way. This was not the kind of terrain suitable for a wagon, and Jimmy wondered why they had opted for going this way instead of the dusty, well-marked trails in the area. Where on earth were they heading that they had to take the trouble of crossing the forest? Did they suspect they were being followed?

After struggling with the rugged surroundings for almost half an hour, among the dozens of trees, Jimmy spotted a lonely cottage that rose in an ample clearing, and he realized the wagon was heading for the hut. As the rider had suspected, the carriage drove across the spacious terrain at the front and stopped before the solid, wooden construction. The scarce vegetation on the spot would reveal Jimmy's presence if he was not too careful, so he eased off his horse and tethered it to a tree. From where he stood, there was a distance of about 50 yards, but he would still have a good view of Lou and her kidnappers. Yet, as soon as they got into the cottage, Jimmy would not be able to see what was happening unless he dared to come closer and risked being discovered.

* * *

Forced forward by a strong push, Louise stumbled and fell down on the steps leading to the cottage. Her face contorted in pain as the skin on her knee was cracked. Lou did not even have a chance to express her discomfort as the same hand that had thrown her pulled her back on her feet roughly. Another powerful push and her face banged against the closed door. Louise lifted her eyes and glared at Wicks, but she had to bite her tongue not to lash out at him. Letting her anger and frustration out of control would not help her, and she needed to keep a cool head however difficult it was. If there was a possibility for her to escape and go back to Kid, that much depended on her own temperance.

Lou almost trembled as Wicks' angry eyes stared back at her. This was the man her father wanted to marry her off to. If he treated her now as cheap property of his, what would happen if and when she really belonged to him? Lou did not even want to consider that possibility. She had known Wicks all her life, since she was a little girl, and when her father had decided for her that Wicks could court her, his manners had been impeccable at first, but then he had shown his real face and personality when he had attacked and abused her. Now those horrible memories came back to Louise full force, and all she wanted not was to die and vanish off the face of the earth.

"Where are we, Wicks?" Boggs asked in an impatient tone as he came to stand next to his long-term friend.

Wicks did not reply, and thumped his fist against the door several times. A few seconds later the door screeched open, and Lou saw the shadow of a person appear. It was a short, middle-aged man, with a fine, white moustache, and rosy cheeks. He was dressed in just tan pants and a white shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Lou noticed that the man's calm expression changed into sheer anguish as soon as he realized who was at his door. His fearful face suddenly disappeared from her view when without any ceremony Wicks shoved the man further into the house with a powerful thrust, and at the same time he yanked Lou along as he walked inside.

"M… Mr. Wicks," the man stammered as he looked at the bigger man with big, apprehensive eyes.

"Sullivan," Wicks greeted him with strange politeness, which contrasted with the rudeness he had treated the man just a few seconds ago. "It's been a long time." The man's expression clearly showed his wish to be anywhere else but here. Wicks then turned to Boggs and said, "This is Dr. Sullivan, and in the good old days he used to treat my girls, you know, when I was still in the business of personal relations, remember?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, and before Boggs could answer, he said, "Of course you remember. You were a regular visitor to my brothel back then, and I used to provide you with my best girls."

Lou noticed that her father looked uncomfortable at the obvious comment. Yet, she did not stop to consider the implication behind Wicks' words because she was too worried and scared. What did Wicks intend to do at this doctor's home? What did he mean by Dr. Sullivan treating his girls? The answer came too soon as Wicks himself said, "Dr. Sullivan is gonna tell us for sure whether your daughter here is with child or not."

Lou panicked. They were going to discover her lie, and she knew the upcoming consequences would be terrible for her. However, her fear and anguish did not show in her demeanor as she tried to look as calm and unaffected as possible. The men in the room kept talking, but she could not register the words in her present state of mind. Fear paralyzed her whole body. Her understanding returned to her when the doctor addressed her for the first time. "So, Ma'am, you suspect you're expecting?"

Lou shook her head and tried to show her resolution. "I'm sure about it."

"Have you been feeling nauseous lately?" the doctor continued.

"Yes," Lou replied without hesitation, trying to sound confident and honest in her answers.

"And when did you last bleed?"

Louise blushed at having to answer such a personal question before three men. "Uh… two months ago," she said quickly, but this time her mind subconsciously tried to remember when she had last had her curse. She recalled having her menses when Doritha had been around. Her mood had been especially sensitive, rocketing and plummeting in a question of minutes. Yet, after Kid and she had sorted out their relationship, she had no recollection of her monthly visitor. It was true, though, that she was not regular in her cycles since she had her miscarriage, but even so, she could not help but wonder.

"The absence of your monthly could be due to other factors. Many women miss them when they're going through strenuous periods of time, or just because of changes in their habits. All that might influence a woman's body."

That made sense, Lou thought to herself, while she stubbornly repeated her lie, "I know I'm pregnant."

"Sullivan, what do you say? Is the woman with child or not?" asked Wicks.

Dr. Sullivan looked at him, and once again Lou could see the expression of sheer dread on the small man's face. "It's difficult to say. I should carry out an exploration to be completely sure."

"And what are you waiting for?" Wicks demanded.

Dr. Sullivan hesitated, and despite himself he motioned the other three people in the room to follow him. Lou's mind was reeling with fear. Soon her lie would be uncovered, and then what? Her feet were rooted on the spot, but another strong push made her drag her body along reluctantly. She felt as if she was walking to her death, and even though her eyes eagerly tried to locate a way out of this trap, she could not think of an alternative plan.

The physician opened a door which led to a pitch black room. When he lit a lamp, the light came to show a small room in a serious state of disorder. The doctor promptly started to collect the various objects and even clothes scattered around the place. "Excuse me for the condition of my office. I've been retired for a couple of years now, and lately I just use this as a storeroom."

The doctor picked up a few books from a small cot in the corner and placed a clean sheet all over its length. With a motion of his hand, he beckoned Lou to lie down. "No, no, I don't…" Louise muttered as fear assaulted her overwhelmingly, but she could not resist since, despite her opposition, Wicks forced her onto the bed. Lou knew that her protests and resistance would be useless, but then the doctor's voice gave her a small flicker of hope. "Gentlemen, will you please wait outside?"

Lou saw her father move towards the door, but Wicks said, "I ain't moving. Do whatever you have to do, but I won't let her out of my sight."

Those words made Boggs stop mid-stride and look at his partner. Lou hoped he would say something, but once again her father kept quiet, obeying Wicks' orders as if he were his trained dog. Lou and the doctor shared a look, and then without another word Sullivan moved and put a movable screen before the cot to hide Lou from the men's eyes.

"And make it quick," Wicks ordered.

Lou was shivering from head to toe as she lay curled up on the bed. The doctor approached, and as she lifted her eyes to him, she took a dare. The man was a complete stranger, and she might get into deeper trouble, but right now it did not matter. She was too desperate. So hidden from her father and Wicks by the screen, Lou gazed at the doctor with begging eyes as she mouthed a silent 'please'.

Dr. Sullivan stared impassively at her for a few moments, and then he simply said, "Let's get done with this."

Louise closed her eyes, praying like she had never done. Memories of her good times with Kid popped in her mind unexpectedly as if they had happened in another life and tears pushed their way out behind her eyelids. Just this very morning she had woken up in his protective arms, and he had loved her with the passion, loyalty, and intensity his heart was so full of. And now just hours later she was a prisoner of her father and vicious Wicks, and a strange doctor was going to disprove her fake pregnancy, which would leave her at the mercy of the wolves waiting for her behind the screen.

The sound of the screen being moved made Lou open her eyes. Too distracted to notice before, Lou discovered that her lower middle was covered by a blanket, and automatically her hands pulled the material up to her chest. The way Wicks and her father were looking made her feel dirty and cheap, and she wished she could bury herself under the blanket and disappear.

The doctor was washing his hands in a washing bowl and without turning his face, he said, "She's pregnant all right."

Relief washed over Lou. Her first impression on the doctor had proved right, and he was somebody who she could trust. He was helping her because he surely hated Wicks as much as she did.

Boggs' face lit up when he heard the doctor, but Wicks' expression darkened while he said, "Then do your job and get rid of it."

At his words Lou quickly jumped from the bed, and pressed her hand protectively over her middle. And to her surprise Boggs' voice sounded loud and clear, rebelling against Wicks for the first time that day. "No, you won't!" Boggs barked angrily, coming face to face with Wicks.

"John, stop playing the fool. Just keep quiet and let me handle this."

Wicks tried to push Boggs out of his way, but the latter man would not let him, and stood his ground. "You heard me. I said no! It's my grandchild, and I won't let you harm him!" Boggs stated firmly, subconsciously referring to his long-desired grandchild in the masculine, because thinking of a girl was out of the question. "This is my daughter and my decision!"

"And I won't raise another man's brat!"

"Then don't. Just go and leave us alone!" Boggs exclaimed, pointing at the door for greater effect.

Those words managed to anger Wicks even more, and one of his hands balled up into a fist while the other grabbed his partner hard by the shoulder. "How dare you, ungrateful bastard!" Wicks roared loudly. "First, you lie to me and make me believe no other man has touched my Louise! You hear? 'My' Louise! She's been mine since you gave her to me! And you traded my property! And now you want to ditch me like dirty water! Keep dreaming because Louise is mine, just mine!"

Boggs knocked Wicks' hand away with a powerful punch. Things were becoming tense between the two men, and Lou watched the exchange with growing concern. Looking around she scanned the room for a possible way out, but she was trapped in this room with the men blocking the only door. Hearing them talk about her made her feel as cheap and humiliated as when her father had practically sold her to Kid's family. This was twice as bad, and she felt almost nauseated. "Stay away from my family, Wicks!" Boggs vociferated, jabbing a finger on the other man's chest.

"Your family!" Wicks barked. "Don't make me laugh! You are nothing and would have nothing if it weren't for me! I made you the man you're now. Your so-called family would have starved to death if it were just for you. I gave you power, money and a real life. Men fear you because they don't know you're nothing but a puppet in my hands. John Boggs is nothing but a pitiful puppet! If people knew what Mr. X is really like, you'd be as well as dead. You are just trash, and you can't tell me what to do because you don't exist without me!"

Lou's eyes widened as she lingered on every word. Was it true that in reality her father was not the man she had always thought he was? Was Wicks behind fearsome Mr. X, or at least, was he the man who really created the legend? Why did her father fuel that lie? Was that so important to him? Her mother had died without actually knowing who her husband was. She had hated the life her husband had forced her to lead, and thinking that everything had been an illusion made Lou unsure what to think about it.

Suddenly, a deafening loud bang resounded in the small room and the smell of gunpowder wafted in the air. Lou let out a gasp as she noticed a red mark dying Wick's white shirt. Blood oozed from the bullet wound in his stomach, and his eyes opened in sheer surprise just before he collapsed heavily onto the floor.

Dr. Sullivan quickly fell onto his knees, and once he turned over Wicks' heavy body, he checked his vitals. "He's dead," the doctor said, lifting his eyes to Boggs, who still held the smoking gun in his hand.

"And you will be next if you don't shut your hole."


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter 71**

The ride was a real test to his sane mind, and however fast Kid pushed Katy forward it did not seem enough to satisfy his eagerness to reach his target. More than once Teaspoon and the other two riders had to call his attention because he was unconsciously pushing his dear mare too much. They were right, but Kid could not help feeling that Lou might slip through his fingers if he did not hurry. He could not spoil this chance, and knew that time was essential. What if those men harmed Lou real bad? He had seen with his own eyes what her father was capable of, and Louise herself had told him in detail how Wicks had mistreated and abused her. The mere idea that she was all alone with those two monsters was enough to make him shudder and push the horse faster.

Buck found the track Jimmy had left for them easily enough, and from then on the ride became harsher as they went deeper into the forest. The terrain and thick vegetation slowed down their progress, and Kid was getting increasingly restless by the minute. It was definitely an endless, tortuous ride, and after what seemed the longest hours of his life they found Jimmy and Kid felt as if he had reached heaven. The long-haired rider beckoned them to be as discreet and quiet as possible, and once they left their horses, they slowly crept towards Jimmy and positioned themselves next to him.

"Boggs, his thug, and Lou went into that house over half an hour ago, and since then, nothing. Just after they disappeared inside, I dared to come closer and had a look through that open window at the front," Jimmy explained, pointing with his gun at the cottage. "They were talking to another fella… actually, a harmless-looking man. I couldn't hear anything, and after a few minutes they walked further into the house. I checked the other windows, but a few have closed shutters, and I imagine they must be in one of those rooms, because the others were empty."

"I wonder what they've come here for," Noah voiced what the others were thinking.

At his friend's words a terrible thought popped in Kid's mind, and a sorrowful exclamation left his lips. "Oh no…"

"What's wrong son?"

"I just got bitten by a horrible idea. Teaspoon, what if that man is some kind of minister or a Justice of the Peace? They might be forcing Lou to marry that creep! Gosh, why didn't we remarry when we had the chance?"

Teaspoon opened his mouth to talk when the sound of a shot echoed ominously in the place. At once, the five men drew their guns almost at the same time. Blind with fear for Lou, Kid would have taken a lunge towards the cottage, had it not been for Buck, who restrained his movements by grabbing him strongly by the waist. "Let go of me, Buck!" Kid ordered, fighting against his friend's hold.

Very calmly Teaspoon placed himself before Kid, and rested his hands on the younger man's shoulders. "Son," he started, looking straight into his rider's eyes, which made Kid calm down. "I know you mean well, but you're too nervous, and…"

"Lou's in there, Teaspoon! We have to help her!"

"And we will, Kid. We'll get her safe and sound, but rushing madly in will only get you or her killed. That ain't what you want, is it?"

The marshal's words disarmed Kid, who shook his head morosely. Teaspoon patted the rider on the back just before he beckoned his other men to adopt positions opposite the house behind a big fallen trunk. The marshal then rose to his feet, and lifting his armed hand over his head, he took a shot in the air. "This is Marshal Aloysius Hunter. The property is surrounded by my men. Surrender now and you'll suffer no harm."

* * *

The marshal's voice reverberated inside the cottage like a bad omen, and Lou felt relief wash over her. If Teaspoon was here, that meant Kid would not be too far. He had found her against all odds, and she felt like jumping in sheer joy.

Her feelings must have shown on her face because her father said, "Don't look so smug, darling. Your friends are wasting their time."

"You can't win, father. Not this time. Don't you think you should stop running now? You can't go much further!"

Her head almost spun as she received a sonorous, hard slap, which made her lip bleed again. "Don't you ever tell me what to do, girl! We'll leave this place, and you're gonna help me!"

Boggs reached to grab Lou, but mustering all the courage and strength she had in her little body, she pushed him away harshly. "I ain't doing anything! I won't let you use me and control my life, not anymore! I'm not your puppet the way I used to be. I'm a grown woman, and it's over, father!"

"Louise, stop this nonsense now!" Boggs threatened, aiming his still hot gun at his own daughter.

"You'll have to kill me," Lou stated while she slowly took several steps backwards. "That's the only way I'll go with you willingly."

"You're trying your luck, girl," Boggs added in the same menacing tone. His steps moved towards Lou while she kept retracing from him until her back bumped against a table in the way, which made her stop.

"You won't kill me. I'm your only chance to have your damn heir. Kill me, and you'll kill the baby growing inside me."

Even though her words were true, Boggs would not let himself be coerced. He was surprised by his daughter's spunky attitude, but he also knew she was just bluffing. Deep down she was surely scared stiff, and if he pulled the right strings, she would crumble down and become the same pitiful girl he knew she was. "Are you sure?" Boggs asked with a cynical, dark grin. "You know me, Louise, and I always… ALWAYS have my way. There are many women in this world, and I'm still young enough to be a father."

The click of the gun ready to attack echoed in Lou's ears overwhelmingly, and a cold sweat glistened on her forehead. She was fully aware that her father was capable of anything, no matter how cruel it could be, and she felt almost paralyzed. Yet, she told herself she couldn't give in and had to fight until the last consequences. Kid was outside, and it would not be fair for everything to get ruined when he was so close. Destiny couldn't do that. Encouraged by her thoughts and even fear, her hand reached behind her and at random grabbed the first thing she touched, which to her surprise she realized had a sharp edge. Her father kept advancing towards her, and without giving a second thought, Lou barged against him and in an unexpected motion she stuck what turned out to be the doctor's scissors onto her father's right leg.

Boggs let out an agonizing scream as the metal of the scissors ripped the flesh of his right thigh. His hand automatically reached for his injured leg, and the gun dropped from his hold, going off with a loud bang when it bounced on the floor. Lou closed her eyes when she heard the shot, thinking that the bullet was destined to hit her. She waited for the pain to rack her body, but the seconds passed too slowly, and when a voice resounded nearby, she realized she was safe. "Raise your hands and don't try anything."

Louise's eyes shot open to discover that the doctor was holding the gun that had been in her father's possession just a few seconds ago. Boggs could not do anything else but obey, and despite the intense pain in his thigh, he managed to lift his hands over his head. His body could not adopt a total upright position and his back was slightly hunched since his injured leg could barely support his weight.

"Help! Please help!" Lou cried, hoping that Teaspoon and the others could hear her.

It did not take more than a few seconds for heavy steps to reverberate in the house. The first face Lou saw appear was Kid's, and strangely enough, she had the sensation that, even though just hours had passed since they had been together, he looked older and even different, but at the same time she felt as if she was suddenly back home by just seeing his blue eyes. "Oh!" she exhaled deeply as she ran madly to his arms, hugging him.

"Are you all right?" Kid asked, gently pulling away and looking into her eyes. Lou was so emotional that she could not articulate a single word, so she simply nodded.

Sounds and voices behind her drew her attention, and turning around, she watched Teaspoon and the riders busy with her father and the dead man on the floor. The marshal buckled Boggs' hands behind his back, and asked Jimmy to take him outside.

As Hickok steered Boggs towards the door, the gun dealer forcefully stopped before Louise and fixed his eyes on her. "You're my daughter, and that will never change."

Lou was not sure what he meant by that, and a chill ran down her spine, making her shudder. Her hold tightened around Kid's waist, and noticing her discomfort Jimmy said in an unkind tone, "Shut the hell up and keep going!"

With a strong shove the rider forced Boggs out of the room. Lou kept looking at the door through which her father had disappeared with a strange expression which did not go unnoticed by Kid. "Are you sure you're okay?" Kid asked, noticing the pallor on her face which contrasted with the bruises on her right cheek and chin.

"I'm fine, honestly," Lou replied with an awkward smile.

Noah and Buck were next to leave the room, carrying Wicks' corpse out of the doctor's office. Teaspoon was asking the doctor a few questions about what had just happened, and when he was satisfied with the answers, he thanked the kind physician and started off towards the door. "Are you ready to go home?" the marshal asked, stopping before Louise.

"More than ready. I just can't wait," Lou exclaimed with a bigger, more real grin. "I missed you all so much."

"So let's go then," the marshal announced, taking the lead on the way out.

Kid was about to follow, but Lou tugged at his arm, stopping him. "Not yet. I need to do something first. Please give me a second," she asked, and Kid's silent question was answered as Louise walked straight to the doctor.

"Thank you," Lou shyly said, shaking hands with the kind physician. "You saved my life in more ways than one."

"I know what Wicks was like, what he did to women, and… I couldn't have done anything else."

Lou nodded with a small smile, and repeated, "thank you."

Intending to leave in the company of Kid, Louise turned around, but stopped when the doctor called her name. She looked back at him, and Sullivan spoke up, "I didn't lie, and every word I said was true… every single word."

It took Louise a few seconds to realize what the man was talking about, and as the truth dawned on her, her face transformed, different expressions alternating in a matter of seconds, from disbelief and surprise to total astonishment. Dr. Sullivan smiled, and before going his way, his last words were, "Have a nice life, Ma'am."


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 72**

Rolling onto her side across the bed, Lou opened her eyes to a brand new morning. Still sleepy, she scanned the room, spotting Kid who was getting dressed and ready for the day a few feet from where she was. "Morning, beautiful," he said with a warm smile as soon as he realized she was awake. Lou did not reply to his greeting, and he asked, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," she replied curtly.

With his shirt hanging unbuttoned from his shoulders, Kid slowly walked closer and sat on the edge of the bed beside her. "I woke up sometime during the night, and you were tossing and turning as well as muttering in your sleep," he remarked while gently brushing his hand up and down her body over the quilt.

"Sorry I woke you up. Maybe one of us should go sleep somewhere else if it's such a bother," she retorted stiffly.

The motions of his hand caressing her stopped when the words bit him just as if a thousand bees had attacked him. "You didn't wake me up! I was just making a comment because I thought you might have had a rough night!"

Lou shifted in the bed, pushed her body up, and leaned her back against the head board, hugging her flexed legs in a defensive motion while saying, "And I told you I slept well, so you should learn to believe me for starters."

Kid sighed tiredly. Since they had returned to Rock Creek after being taken by her father, Lou was behaving in the strangest way. Her temper flared dangerously at the drop of a hat, and it seemed to Kid that every word he spoke came up wrong. Louise got all defensive as if he attacked her, and Kid did not know why she was acting like this. "Lou, I'm just worried. I ain't talking just about tonight. You've hardly had a good night sleep for days. No wonder you have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. I'm just concerned about you, that's all," he finished his sincere tirade in a whisper.

Lou knew he was right, and hearing him talk so patiently and sweetly after the callous way she had spoken broke her heart. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel angry all the time? Kid was the nicest man in her life, and she treated him no better than scum. He did not deserve her nastiness or a woman like her. Her heart went out to him, and as powerfully as the rage had captivated her minutes ago, deep sadness took over her whole will. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes became blurred with unshed tears as misery invaded her soul.

"Oh Lou…" Kid exclaimed when he noticed her upset countenance. The exclamation just triggered Lou's shaky sensibility even more, and she burst out crying. Kid gently brought her against him, cooing her with soft words while Lou held onto him for dear life, pressing her hands on his back as the pain she was feeling soared.

"I… I'm sorry. Oh…. I'm so sorry," she managed to say among tears. "I'm so horrible to you… a hideous person."

"Sh… that ain't true, honey. You ain't horrible, but adorable, and I love you." His comforting words could not soothe her, but on the contrary, they seemed to magnify her grief and her tears became racking sobs. Therefore, Kid opted for keeping quiet, just holding her and softly caressing her back.

When her tears subsided, Kid gently pulled away to look into her tearful eyes. Wordlessly she took the handkerchief he offered her, wiped the remaining of her tears, and blew her nose.

"Lou, can I ask you something?" Kid said tentatively, and at her go-ahead nod, he continued, "Have you considered that the reason you can't properly rest lately and…" Kid was about to mention her strange mood changes, but decided against it. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset her again, and he had the hunch that bringing up that would definitely perturb her. "Don't you think the reason might be … uh… closure."

"Closure?"

Kid nodded. "Lou, when my parents died, my main regret was I couldn't say goodbye to them," he explained. "There are so many things I would've liked to tell them, even my father despite all the harm he did for years, or who knows, maybe because of it. I know you said you don't want to see your pa again, but don't you think your body is asking you to get closure, and sort out things with him before it's too late?"

Lou stared at him with big eyes for a few seconds. "I… I don't know," she replied sincerely. "I don't know if I want to see him, or if I can." In a way Kid had hit the target. Five days had passed since they had returned to Rock Creek, just as long as her father waited in a cell in town to be judged and sentenced, which would happen in Fort Kearney. The army was coming today to take him there, and with all certainty he would be sentenced to death. A part of her pushed her to pay a last visit to her father, but she was also flooded by doubts and fears.

"Lou, this is up to you. I can't tell you what you have to do, but I don't want you to regret something for the rest of your life."

"Thanks," she replied, feeling a powerful pressure in her chest and a lump in her throat. Kid gave her a quick peck on her cheek and rose to his feet to continue getting ready for the day. From her position in bed Lou watched him, feeling paradoxically a strange longing and dread at the same time. The conversation she had just had with Kid kept replaying in her mind. It was true that she was not quite herself lately, but her father was just one of the reasons why her mood swung so wildly.

Her hand surreptitiously snuck under the quilt and rested on her middle where her child grew. Five days. Five days had slipped away, and she had not told Kid a word about it. On the ride to Rock Creek she had learned that what Teaspoon and Dr. Sullivan had talked about did not include the reason why Lou and her kidnappers had stopped at the doctor's home. And when Kid had asked her, she had simply brushed him off, answering his curiosity with half truths and evasive words. Lou knew it was daft of her to keep this from him. Kid would be over the moon when he learned he was going to be a father, and Louise was totally sure he would make a wonderful pa.

Those were perfectly good reasons for her to break her silence, and share the news with her man. After the tortuous months they had gone through, they needed this unexpected joy. However, Lou could not bring herself to share her news. She was scared, and every time she tried to speak to Kid, the words got stuck in her throat, and she could hardly articulate a single sound.

On these five days her mind had wandered some very twisted path, which had darkened her horizon. Even though Kid was a constant presence in her life every day just like usual, she was feeling very lonely inside. When her father was gone, she would become an orphan for real, a loose soul, uprooted and forlorn. Kid was not even her husband anymore, and among her black thoughts she was entertaining the idea that Kid might feel compelled to stay by her side because he felt responsible for her. Now she was alone, and had no one to turn to. Would Kid dare to desert and leave her to her luck? The answer was clear. He would not even if he realized he had stopped loving her. Lou feared that his sense of responsibility was stronger than his feelings for her, and that idea scared her to death. That was why telling him about the baby would add another knot to his already tight rope. Louise wanted a real family, the kind that was kept together by love, and not obligation. She knew Kid loved her, but would that be enough for him to wish she was in his life forever? Lou even dreaded considering the question, let alone asking him directly, and in the meantime days went by, and the end of her personal torture did not seem to have an end any sooner.

* * *

It had taken her all morning to make up her mind. She kept hesitating about what to do. Kid's words weighed on her conscience, and she knew he was right. So as Lou started to feel the consequence of her too hard thinking in the form of a headache, she reached the conclusion she should let somebody else decide for her. Kid had hinted very clearly that she should leave her retreat and see her father. Therefore Louise concluded she would heed him. If somebody could understand her situation, it was him. Kid had gone through a similar experience. His own father had been nothing to look up to, and despite everything, Kid had taken something Teaspoon said as his personal motto. "No matter what, family is family."

Still unsure about her decision, Lou had skipped lunch, and set off for town. Her steps slow on purpose, but strangely the distance to the jailhouse seemed to have shortened today, and much to her chagrin she reached the marshal's office too soon. Stopping just before the building, Lou took a deep breath, but her doubts assaulted her once again. A little voice in her head urged her to run, but her own pride told her she could not chicken out now, so breathing in deeply again, Lou prepared herself mentally before walking into the marshal's office with clear resolution.

Teaspoon smiled when he saw her appear, but Lou did not see anything because her eyes automatically darted to the cells. Her father had already noticed her presence, and from his sitting position on the bunk he watched her with obvious curiosity.

"What brings you here, sweetheart?" the marshal asked even though he could guess the answer.

"I… I… would it be possible for me to have a word with my father?" Lou finally dared to say.

"Naturally," Teaspoon replied as he rose to his feet and pushed his hat onto his head with a strong shove. "I'll leave you alone, but if you need me, I'll be just a shout away."

Louise nodded her thanks, and when Teaspoon walked out, she shyly directed her eyes to the far end of the room where the cells were lined along the wall. Her father had unsteadily risen to her feet. It was clear that the wound she had inflicted on his leg still bothered him, but even so, he remained on his feet. Then with lowered eyes, she shuffled closer to his cell and stopped at a safe distance. Lifting her gaze to him, Louise fixed her brown eyes into his identical ones, and kept quiet. Here she was at last, and she did not really know what she wanted to say. It was a totally bizarre situation, even more unnerving that she had imagined it would be. Had she deluded herself into thinking words would flow easily between them? It would be the first time then because she did not have a single recollection of having an actual conversation with her father.

Boggs was who finally broke the ice and solved her problem. "How are you doing, Louise?"

"I… I'm fine."

Boggs nodded with a small smile. "I can see that," he replied, and after a few seconds he added, "I saw Kid yesterday, and we had a few words." Lou did not say anything. It was true that Kid had been helping Teaspoon in the jailhouse the day before. Rides were becoming more and more scarce, so the marshal often deputized his riders lately to do some small jobs. Therefore, her father's comment had not surprised, but filled her with curiosity. Kid had never mentioned those 'few words', and she wondered what they had talked about. "It was quite interesting," Boggs continued. "And as far as I could grasp, he seemed to be clueless about your baby. Why haven't you told him, Louise?"

"That's my business," Lou replied curtly.

"Is the child his, or maybe you've explored other wild fields, my dear?" Boggs insisted maliciously.

Lou's face instantly flamed with indignation, and she realized that coming here had been the worst idea she could have. "I better go," she said stiffly, her voice trembling with suppressed anger and shame. "I don't know why I even bothered to come here in the first place."

"No! Please don't go!" Boggs exclaimed, pressing his face against the cell bars, and flinching as his leg bumped against them. "Please forgive me, and don't go. Please."

Louise did not know why she stopped and reconsidered her decision to leave at this very moment. Maybe it was just an illusion of her own mind, but for the first time her father sounded genuinely sincere, and she just could not ignore him. With a sigh she stopped and turned around back towards him. Boggs smiled, and added, "You know something? Your mother looked especially radiant and beautiful when she was pregnant, and I can see you have inherited that from her. She used to be very sick every morning, though. Does that happen to you too?"

"Not really," Lou replied slowly with certain apprehension. This was too weird as if she were in some kind of surreal world. Here she was in the jailhouse, her father behind bars and with a more than likely death sentence hanging over his head, and after the long, torturous history they shared, the last straw being an attempt to kidnap her, he was talking as if nothing was the matter.

"Thank goodness for that."

Lou simply nodded. She could not shed the sense of strangeness this situation filled her with, and her father mentioning her mother only managed to send a stabbing pain to her heart. "You know, I didn't come here to talk about my pregnancy."

"Then why are you here, Louise?"

"I… I don't know," she replied truthfully. "To say goodbye, I guess."

Boggs bobbed his head up and down morosely. "Yes. This is the end of the road for me. I never believed I would end up like this… I thought myself cleverer than the law, but of course I never counted my own daughter could turn against me to help them."

Louise stiffened at his comment. His tone sounded neutral and even indifferent, but his words hurt all the same. "I just did what you taught me, father! You were the first who turned against your family, that is, me! Did you ever stop to think how I felt? Beaten up, humiliated, scorned, lost, wiped out…"

"I wanted the best for you," Boggs defended himself, cutting her long list of adjectives short.

"The best must have gone strayed on the way, because I just got the worst," Lou retorted. "You just used me to your own benefit, and don't deny it because I was there… I lived every single second of that torture. And don't you dare say you did things out of love because I never got even a pinch of that fake love!"

"Believe me or not, I did and do love you," Boggs muttered. "You're my daughter, flesh of my flesh."

"You have a very funny way of showing it," Lou responded, not moved by his words at all.

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"And I'm sorry too."

"I wish I could go back and do things differently. I mean it, Louise. I really mean it."

Lou did not reply, and kept staring at her father. Despite knowing he was just a manipulative, unreliable, lying good-for-nothing, Lou realized she actually believed him, and cursed herself for that. Pain seared into her very core, and she felt as if she was a little girl again. Good and bad memories mixed in her mind, but even though the unpleasant ones clearly exceeded the happy moments, she kept replaying those few memorable occasions over and over again. She remembered being totally blissful as her father played with her, or told her bedtime stories, or carried her on his shoulders playfully, making her feel as if she could touch the stars. The fall had been too hard, suffering untold pain in solitude, but even so, she had to admit that her whole self longed for the father of her young days, the pa of her smiles. She really wished she could have her dada, as she used to call him back then. It was too late now, and knowing this was the end, tears sprang up to her eyes. Before he could see her cry, Lou fled from the place as hot tears trickled down her cheeks and she felt like bawling like a small, defenseless baby.


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter 73**

It was dark when Louise returned to the station. The day had been too harsh, and she had sought solitude for a few hours. The confrontation with her father had crushed her heart too hard, and the image of him leaving town, prisoner of the army, would be a bitter, strange sight to stay with her for the rest of her days. After witnessing his forced departure from a discreet position, she had wandered off, aimlessly roaming wherever her feet would take her. She had an urgent need for silence and space just to shush the voices in her mind and soothe the pain in her chest.

As Louise finally reached the station a couple of hours later, she realized that the time on her own had not helped her much. All her insides were still in turmoil, and there was no hope to smooth things out any sooner. Maybe tomorrow everything would look different, hopefully better.

The windows of the bunkhouse were all lit up, which told Louise that dinner was being served at that time. Warm food in her empty stomach sounded like a good idea, and maybe it could even comfort her in some kind of way. Yet, she was not in the mood to face anybody or answer questions. All she wanted was peace and quiet, and fight her demons in her own way. So with slow steps she shuffled towards Rachel's white-washed house, which had been her home for the last few months.

When she opened the door, a surprise was waiting for her. Her eyes scanned the modest living-room, which was arranged in an unusual way. The room was in semidarkness, except for a single candle that shone timidly on a table in its middle. Dressed with a beautiful, white, embroidered cloth, the table was set for two, Rachel's best dinner service gleaming against the shy light of the candle. For one moment Lou thought that she had accidentally intruded on a possible private social engagement of Rachel's, but then she realized that she was not out of bounds. Kid was sitting on one of the two chairs around the table, obviously waiting for her.

Lou met his eyes before saying, "What are you doing here?"

Kid rose to his feet, and approached her. "I knew you'd be hungry when you returned home, but I also imagined you wouldn't feel up to having much company. So I cooked something for two of us."

Lou did not say anything, but she was actually perplexed by his words. Kid knew her better than she could have thought, and that invisible wordless communication they often maintained did not cease to surprise her. He was so thoughtful all the time, and once again she felt moved to tears by his attentions, but this time she fought them stubbornly.

"You're hungry, ain't you?"

"Yes…" she whispered.

"Then what are we waiting for?" he asked rhetorically, taking her hand and steering her to the table.

Dinner was a quiet event. Kid never tried to ask Louise what had happened with her father in the jailhouse, and Lou wordlessly thanked his silence. She would eventually tell him and open her heart to him, but right now she welcomed his discretion.

"Thanks, Kid. It was a lovely meal," she broke the silence after finishing her dessert.

Kid wiped his mouth with a napkin, and smiled uncomfortably. He kept debating with himself whether to voice now what he had been pondering in silence during dinner. "Lou," he said at last, "I would like to talk to you about something, but I ain't sure if you feel up to it."

Louise frowned with curiosity. All of a sudden, Kid sounded all mysterious and awkward, squeezing the napkin in his hands as if he were anxious for some reason. "Go ahead. I'm tired, but I think I could hold on for something more."

Kid sighed, trying to release the pressure in his chest. Lifting his eyes to Lou, he smiled as he stared at her with loving admiration. What on earth had he done to become the luckiest man on earth? That was just how he felt, and he could not understand why fortune had touched him so generously. Not only was Lou incredibly beautiful, but also an exceptional person and the best woman a man could have by his side. His curse, as he unkindly used to call her… in fact, she was a really welcomed curse that had filled his poor existence with countless blessings.

"Kid?" Lou called his attention when time passed and he seemed totally transfixed and unresponding.

He blushed, embarrassed. Lou's eyes gazed at him questioningly, and to her utter surprise Kid heavily dropped to a knee and gently took her hand in his. Louise looked at him with wide eyes and with a shocked expression, and Kid had to take a deep breath before speaking up. "Lou, maybe this ain't the best moment to do this, but I think I've waited too long… and I can't wait anymore. You told me once you wanted a proposal and a proper wedding. I can't say no to you because you mean too much to me. You know I ain't good at this, so I'll just shoot. Louise, beautiful Louise, will you marry me?"

Lou gulped nervously, but kept quiet, just looking at him with a serious expression. The bleak thoughts that had clouded her mind in the last five days kept bubbling within her. She could not bring herself to utter the loud yes she wanted to shout. "I… I… can I ask you something, Kid?"

The Southerner's face showed his consternation in a too obvious way, and still crouched before her, he muttered, "This ain't the answer I expected from you. But go ahead."

Louise ignored his comment, and added, "Kid, I'd like you to be totally honest with me, please."

"All right," he replied with a dull tone, not sure what to expect from her. He had thought that as soon as he asked her, they would be kissing and celebrating, and this twist in his plans had totally thrown him.

Lou cleared her throat before blurting her question, "Are you really sure you want us to marry? I mean, are you completely sure, without the slightest trace of a doubt? I don't like to think you're asking me just because you're expected to do it, or feel you have to."

Kid sighed sadly. "I thought you wanted to marry me."

"I do!" she exclaimed.

"And I've never doubted you, Lou. Why don't you believe me when I say I love you and want to spend the rest of my days with you? What do I have to do to make you understand that I'm honest and my feelings are genuine? What can I do, Lou? Tell me because I just don't know. Maybe I've failed to show you how much I care, and I'm sorry if you don't feel loved enough."

His words stung badly, and she cursed herself for her distrustful nature. It had never occurred to her that her insecurities could affect Kid, and he might end up doubting himself. "No, it's me… I swear. I… I know you love me, but… but I can't help feeling this way… small and insecure. It's just the way I am. It's not you. I… I'm sorry."

"Lou, I'm hopelessly in love with you. Please tell your beautiful, little head to stop whispering wicked thoughts to confuse you," Kid said, tapping her head with his index finger.

Lou grinned sheepishly, and as his deep, blue eyes had the effect of clearing the clouds in her mind and her heart, she said, "I do want to marry you and be your wife."

Kid almost let out a loud whoop, but finally he just cracked a goofy, happy smile. His hand then slid in his jacket pocket, and kept rummaging among the coins and odd little objects he had for a few seconds before getting his prize. A few days ago he had bought a ring from Tompkins, and as it now shone on Lou's finger, he felt proud and totally blissful. "Oh Kid," she exclaimed, admiring the simple, but pretty ring.

"What, honey?"

Her smile never faded, and lifting her bright eyes to him, she breathed in before blurting out, "You're going to be a father… a wonderful father."

"Wha… what?"

"Kid, we're gonna have a baby."

A sudden fit of coughs overcame him as if the air was stuck and could not reach his lungs. "Kid!" Lou exclaimed urgently as she helped him back to his feet, made him sit, and poured a glass of water for his rough throat. Kid downed the water in just one gulp, and as the cough gradually went, he asked, "A… a baby? Is… is that true?" Lou simply nodded, and impulsively Kid framed her face and kissed her on the lips. "Oh this is more than I could have wished for," he exclaimed.

"I know," she replied with a big smile.

"Lou, I still don't know where we'll live, or how I'll get the means to support us, but I promise I'll do my very best to be the best husband and father for you and the baby. I believe that as long as we're together, we can conquer everything."

"Yes, you and your curse together," Lou added teasingly.

"No, Lou, not my curse… you're my blessing," he whispered, and placing his hand on her still flat stomach, he added. "This poor man and his two blessings… my two wonderful blessings."

**THE END**

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**Note: This is the end of this very long story. Thanks to everybody who has been following My Curse chapter after chapter. Thanks for the support and kind words. I hope you have enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. **


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